The Election Is Won, Anger Will Come And Stupidity Is ...Deferred

The analysts will be too kind. Sorry.

The re-election of George Bush showed just how stupid our country had gotten. The election of Barack Obama in 2008 showed the world that America had its fill of stupidity. The re-election of Barack Obama has re-affirmed that attitude ...

...but barely.

With George Bush, we had the world's greatest diplomatic dimwit: reading the expression on his face as he descended from Air Force One, you had the distinct impression that he didn't have a clue as to where he was. His presidency was a diplomatic void so vast that everyone and their mother screamed to him in his last year "Legacy, can you spell legacy?"  And after years of blood shed in Iraq, then Afghanistan - blood shed essentially for Bush's ego - other countries were wondering if they would be next, and Bush's last year was a feeble attempt to make him look like a statesman for peace.    

By contrast, Mitt Romney's forays into foreign policy were prize-winning blunders that showcased his ineptitude against the Nobel Prize-winning Obama. And while Romney didn't talk with his mouth full of turkey sandwich to heads of state, he did have his foot in his mouth most of the time. 

Comparisons in stupidity, however, may stop there since Romney and his campaign seemed to have a stupidity uniquely its own.

Worse Than George?

The possibility that Mitt Romney might be a mental lightweight surfaced early on in his campaign: no intelligent official refuses to be transparent when it comes to tax returns, then states that there could not possibly be anything incriminating in them. And the Bain debacle: Dick Cheney may have convinced the public that he had absolutely no ties to Halliburton, but that was before Halliburton got the most lucrative of all Iraq War no-bid contracts - and behind closed doors. Romney's convoluted non-explanations of his exit from Bain did nothing to keep liberals from scratching their heads. Then there followed "I'm not concerned about the poor", "47%", "Eastwooding"*, "Obama screwed up Lybia," "I shop at Costco," "Fire Big Bird," "Binders full of women," and, by extension, the idiocy of Paul Ryan's tax returns (less than 2.4% to the charities he told everyone would "pick up the slack" from his budget hatchet job), gym photos and "cleaning clean pots." 

Image Problem? What Image Problem?

Molly Ivins' uncovering of the Bush Texas Ranger shenanigans did not dent the image of George Bush: he was a spoiled brat-turned-wheeler-dealer, but somehow his innate "good ole boy" oafishness covered him. That image, indeed, served him well afterward when people were disbelieving of the fact that he held 100,000 acres in non-extradictable Paraguay (for a quick and easy get-away should the "war crimes" heat get too much). Romney' attempts at an image change were, by contrast, pathetic and useless (e.g., the best joke to come out of the Hurricane Sandy disaster: "Romney's Hurricane Sandy Tip: 'Upon approach of the hurricane, evacuate to your second or third home.").** He seemed clueless as to how he presented himself to the public, thinking that they would like him no matter what he said - or how he lied. He couldn't put his past governorship of Massachusetts in the light enough to obscure the fact that he was a rich Gordon Gecko playing at being a politician.


The Real Problem

Throughout it all, however, the most glaringly stupid thing about Romney's campaign is that people actually dismissed the idiocies: they dismissed the lies, the foreign policy ineptitude, the image blunders, the feigned concern for all Americans. Almost HALF of America. 

Maybe the same people who voted for Bush twice. They're still with us. 

Scary. 

Deferrment Of Stupidity, But Not Of Anger   

The re-election of Barack Obama may have deferred the onslaught of stupidity in terms of campaigning and policies, but it will not quell the anger of the Right. Consider the other people who won/lost: Akin and Mourdoch lost, while Tammy Baldwin and Elizabeth Warren won. 

On all accounts of the Christian Right, demonspawn won. 

There will be hell to pay. 

*Not Romney's gaff, but certainly the RNC's blunder.
** Anne Romney also contributed to the ill image with "you people." Republicans must still be smarting with their attempt to paint Theresa Heinz Kerry - richer than the Romneys - in an unflattering light. But since they could get nothing glaringly hypocritical from the saavy philanthropist, they had to settl on the fact that she (admittedly) had Botox injections.

A History Of Degenerative America In One Easy Lesson: A Christian Right Leader's Memories Of Fantasyland!

Carol Brady might have told him to STFU (see below)


The Christian Right'as grip on reality has never been very firm, and now Rick Scarborough of Vision America proves it. In one short diatribe, Scarborough managed to show just how skewed the Christian Right's views of America have been. Read the quote, view the video below. It's worth taking apart point by point - just for the fun (and the reality) of it.

Scarborough: We’ve gone from Andy Griffith to Bart Simpson in my lifetime; we’ve gone from Leave it to Beaver to Beavis and Behind Head, from My Three Sons to Two and a Half Men, from the Brady Bunch to the Big Bang Theory, we’ve gone from the Partridge Family to Desperate Housewives, from Happy Days to Jerry Springer, and look at comedians, there used to be comedians like Bob Hope who epitomized class and loved his country, now we have Larry the Cable Guy being gross and crass, and Christians laugh, what used to amaze us now simply amuses us. We’ve gone from commentaries from such cultural icons as Eric Sevareid to Bill Maher and Rachel Maddow. Look at our movies; we’ve gone from True Grit to Brokeback Mountain, from musicals like the Sound of Music to Oklahoma, from showgirls to slasher porn. Our schools were once the envy of the world, now we have dropout rates exceeding fifty percent in some of our major cities, graduating seniors can’t even read the diploma they’re receiving. Prayer and bible study are out, metal directors and drug-sniffing dogs are in, the Ten Commandments are out, murder and mayhem are in, the theory of evolution is taught as fact while the fact of God is taught as theory, sex-education has become nothing more than the facilitation of fornication, complete with home study with the teachers, in many cases.

1. Andy Griffith was television's answer to Will Rogers. Unfortunately, it made buffoons of Southerners through characters portrayed by Don Knotts (Barney Fife), Jim Nabors  (Gomer Pyle) and George Lindsey (Goober Pyle). Even Frances Bavier's character (Aunt Bea) was non too bright at times. As to Bart Simpson, he's waaay more intelligent, dude!

2. Leave It To Beaver was America as it wanted to be, but never was. That is, unless we knew of any housewife who cleaned the house in pearls. Perhaps the only realistic character was the smarmy Eddie Haskell. We knew kids like Eddie, but we never knew any family even approaching the Cleavers. And unfortunately, we all know idiots Like Beavis and Butthead.

3. My Three Sons was an attempt to give credence to fatherhood by making the dad single and his sons mildly contemporary. It managed to cover up the problem of deadbeat dads which was real, but not well known. And while Two and a Half Men doesn't tackle social issues, the characters deal with one of today's most prevalent lifestyles: the surrogate family.

4. Making the comparison of the Big Bang Theory to The Brady Bunch is more apt to the study of our fictional past than Scarborough knows: while the BBT touts science, the Brady Bunch borders on science fiction. The show, with its cutesy-sweet characters living in a sprawling suburban dream house might have been scripted by aliens from Mars. The stars of TBB certainly knew that they were playing out-of-reality characters and, later on, had some fun going totally against type (see Florence Henderson's rendition of "When You're Good To Mama" below).

5. The Partridge Family was a cute, musical attempt to bring the sitcom up-to-date, after the Monkees/Beatles era. It  made Oscar winner Shirley Jones a hip, working mom and spawned a minor rock star in Sean Cassidy. But it never touched upon reality in the slightest. In comparison, Desperate Housewives has highlighted today's war on women: remember, the beginning premise is that the narrator killed herself and the angst generated by the plots was the key to the first riveting episodes.

6. Scarborough's pairing of Happy Days to Jerry Springer is probably the most outlandishly ridiculous comparison, like countering a kumquat with an elephant. Happy Days was a spoof on what the Beach Blanket Bingo crowd looked like at home. Jerry Springer is a spoof on the mores of trailer trash. Springer himself never took any of it too serious. 


7. Bob Hope's class was born of vaudeville's less seamier side, kind of vaudeville lite. Hope's humor was always created to counter the grim realities of life and war. Was it based on reality? Only in allowing the common man hope that he too could get Dorothy Lamour. Larry The Cable Guy was, ironically, born of the humor of Jeff Foxworthy who now hosts The American Bible Challenge. 


8. The most distinguished hallmark of the American society is and always has been change. - Eric Sevareid. 


Scarborough would have hated his Sevareid's guts had he bothered to find out what Sevareid thought - and what he stood for. Sevareid was definitely to the left of center and one of his proudest achievements was in obtaining Adlai Stevenson's last interview. If he were alive today, he'd probably be co-hosting uber-intelligent Rachel Maddow's show. 


9. True Grit's Rooster Cogburn was not exactly a nice man and any love affair with the likes of Katherine Hepburn (in any character) would have been out of character for a misogynistic egotist. Brokeback Mountain  delved into the psyches of "macho" men in the closet. Much closer to reality and Rick Perry (regardless of leather jacket) wouldn't you say?
10. Hollywood's first real "slasher porn - "Psycho" - was made five years before the Sound of Music.


11. Drop out rates in inner cities has always been high, especially at a time when segregation dictated a poorer education for African Americans. Besides, you can't drop out of a school you're not allowed to attend. 


12. Christian prayers were "in" because diversity was not an issue (especially in Scarborough's Southern Baptist school). 


 13. Of course, Scarborough saved the most salacious and fallacious for last when he said: "...sex-education has become nothing more than the facilitation of fornication, complete with home study with the teachers, in many cases."


Has Scarborough ever visited the homes of today's youth pastors?

You Might Be A Right Wing Bible Thumper, If...: Foxworthy's New Bible Quiz Show Promises Unintended Laughs

You Might Be A Right Wing Bible Thumper if...

You have to give Jeff Foxworthy credit: he doesn't mind deprecation, especially self-deprecation. The man who coined the phrase "You might be a redneck, if...." and hosted "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" is getting set for some more deprecatory comments, even from some of his own fans.

Even without knowing much about the exact format of the program, The American Bible Challenge, it doesn't take a fifth grader to sense that the show will produce some very embarrassing, unintended moments.

From Punchline Magazine:

Part of the show will be centered around the contestant’s home lives, as the network explained their personal stories will be shared with the audience. Contestants will form teams and will represent “worthy faith-based organizations,” to which all cash won will go, according to GSN. The show pilot is scheduled to shoot later this month.

Foxworthy has promised to "to present the Bible in a fun and entertaining way."

That was done by pop historian Kenneth C. Davis in his book "Don't Know Much About The Bible."* It didn't go over well with Fundamentalists.

KJV, NIV or PPP (Pure Pulpit Pimp)?

So which version of the Bible will Foxworthy use for his questions? If he doesn't use the King James Version, he's going to rile some people. Then again, saying all those "thees" "thous" "sayeths" and "begats" will make for more archaic-sounding buffoonery.

Foxworthy will also be walking a fine line in other areas: will interpretation have anything to do with the questions? Will the Bible be presented as absolute fact? Will he skirt socio-political issues such as homosexuality? Will he lean towards the David Barton history and mindset of EVERYTHING being set in the Bible? How Dominionist will he get? More pertinent: will the contestants be culled from our most visible Christian Right leaders? Can you imagine:

JF: "The Old Testament mentions the Witch of Endor. Where is Endor?"
Cindy Jacobs: "Was it shaped like a dragon?"
Pat Robertson: "I don't know, but I think it signed a pact with the devil."

JF: What was the sin of Sodom?
Bryan Fischer: Making the first homosexuals, therefore the first N*zis.
Tony Perkins: Homosexual activists forced Lot's daughters to become lesbians.

JF: How many wives did King Solomon Have?
Robert Jeffress: I don't know, but he was definitely not a member of the Mormon cult.

Michelle Duggars: A lot! He must have had a zillion kids!

JF: Did God want the Israelites to slay all the Amelekites?
Ann Coulter: He only wanted them to slay their leaders and convert them to Christianity.
Sean Hannity: He didn't want to slay them at all, only waterboard them.

Other guests might include Chuck Norris, David Barton, Stephen Baldwin, Victoria Jackson, Michele Bachmann, Tim Tebow, Linda Harvey, Kirk Cameron, Rick Perry, Bishop Eddie Long... and anyone Southern Baptist. The possibilities are endless.

Unfortunately, they might be much more interesting than the people Foxworthy considers sincere and knowledgeable, turning American Bible Challenge into one boring romp, a forum devoid of meaning...or entertainment.




*I highly recommend this book for the simple reason that it brings out all the discrepancies. Some of Davis' historical standpoints have been challenged, but the fact remains that Fundamentalists and Evangelicals hate him for calling them out. E.G.: there are TWO creations, the New Testament was not written by Matthew Mark, Luke and John and God couldn't seem to get his Son's birthday right.

The Sadism Of San Francisco's MUNI: Making People Miserable For Decades, And Loving Every Second Of It!

READER: You can stick this in your "and-I-thought-my-own-transit-system-was-bad" file.
MUNI: You can just stick it.


Dear Reader: There is only one reason to ever recommend San Francisco's municipal transit system (MUNI) to anyone:
REVENGE.


Today marked the 11,121st time MUNI has tried to make my life miserable. It always succeeds. Over the period of 38 years, it has taken my superlative love for the City and brought it down not one, not two, but ten notches: each day I wonder at how many fantastic things and people the City has to offer, then I experience MUNI. It's particular form of sadism depresses me. To make matters worse, I live in Park Merced and I'm tethered to the M Metro line. Everybody at Park Merced and at San Francisco State University is tethered to the M if they want to go anywhere. It could be said that the M is the worst of the worst which it may very well be, considering the alternatives.*


If you live in Park Merced, it takes 90-120 minutes to get near the Embarcadero; longer if the system has an intended "slow down". "Fiction!" say the MUNI administrators. "Fact!" say the people who actually have to ride the thing. 


90-120 minutes. If you have an important 9AM appointment, better get up before dawn. 


There are more horror stories about MUNI than there are MUNI cars...or drivers, but since I've had to suffer through it all for 38 grueling years, I might have a greater number than the average person. I've gotten stuck in the tunnel so many times that I've considered setting up housekeeping  inside of it. I've gotten stranded (along with other passengers) when the driver says "this is the end of the line for me, take the next bus." There seldom is a "next bus" for 30 minutes. I was stranded at Bayshore and Cortland at 1AM. No explanation, just "get off!" I've known a driver to purposely give wrong directions to a slightly tipsy man as a joke. I've had a driver allow me to board a bus after I've asked if it went to a certain destination, then, after he started up, laugh, and say "but in the opposite direction!" I've known of a bus station being "lost" by MUNI (put in storage during renovation of the stop, then never found). But the worst experience of all did not involve and bus, a driver or even a route:


Life overlooking the Bayview disrict's 3rd Street was a constant stream of shootings and ambulances, possibly because that particular stretch, and one particular corner saw the most homicides in the city - 7 homicides in 5 years.  The funeral parlors never knew a recession.** 


One morning, I looked out the front window and saw a bizarre sight: on the most homicidal corner in the City, workers for the new T-line were placing sets of green steel benches, forming a "conversation pit".


It wasn't a bus stop. Nor was it near a proposed T-line stop. I spied a policeman surveying the scene, gesturing to the workers. 


I ran downstairs and across the street.


"Office, what's next? TV and a gun rack for the shooters?" He looked at me with agreement.
"I know what you mean. The idots. On the worst corner and not a bus stop. They have their orders, though and I can't do anything about it, but maybe you can."


?? 


Get on the phone to City Hall, The Mayor, any friends who have friends. Once they rivet those damn things into the pavement, they're permanent and there's nothing any of us could do about it."


I had visions of men with high-powered rifles kicking back between rounds as if in a shooting gallery, so I ran back to my apartment, made frantic calls and within an hour, the cop, the workers, the benches had vanished. I breathed a sigh of relief: the building had gone through jack-hammers (on Saturday mornings no less!) repeatedly correcting MUNI's damage to sewers and late-night tweakers having parties on the unfinished station platform (our building spanned a good portion of the block). 


(Side note: my MUNI karma being what it is, I rode the maiden voyage T-line train downtown - all 400 passengers got stranded near the Cals-Trans station. MUNI's general manger gave an immediate press conference for mea culpas. BFD)


PURE SADISM


What MUNI has against the citizens of San Francisco is anyone's guess, but since absolutely no one on earth could possibly be that inept, that stupid, that clueless about public transportation, it's safe to say that the constant screw-ups are done for MUNI's amusement. And yes, I've seen station attendents laughing at the frustration of riders. I've seen workers lumbering around at a rate that would make a sloth look like Speedy Gonzales, giving disdainful glances to people. The last act of true civility I've witnessed was the thanks a driver gave to passengers when they alerted her that she was going in the wrong direction (MUNI had pushed her on to a new shuttle route without telling her exactly what that route was***).


And as everyone knows, making polite-but-critical remarks to MUNI is useless, simply because it positively revels in its sadism. MUNI is absolutely immune to criticism: only when outcries reach fever pitch does MUNI react, and usually with a costly promotional stunt like Clipper. Think of Clipper this way: a convenience for MUNI with only slightly easier access to a platform or buss stop where you'll wait for MUNI just as long. Using money for additional cars has never been a priority for MUNI. 


As for rectifying the mess we call MUNI, well, many people have proposed scrapping it entirely and having the City purchase a fleet of donkeys. But then sadism comes through again: any MUNI driver would be reported to the SPCA. 

*Sorry, the 28 (Baker Beach) and the 17 (tools around in circles in Park Merced or goes to West Portal by way of the North Pole) do not count - not if you need to get to civilization or BART.
**But going to the funeral of a gang member was dangerous, since the gangs always tried to pick off a few relatives.
***This actually happened TWICE on the same shuttle route - the other driver was not as appreciative)

Kissing Will Make Babies...But Only In Utah!

The abstinance-only crowd is having a field day in Utah. Good for upright religionists. Bad for normal teenagers.


"You know all about those things, don't you? We don't have to tell you, do we?" My parents assumed that I informed about sex through the usual teenage osmosis. Needless to say, I had all the misconceptions you could think of as well as all of the guilt associated with daring to think about the subject.


In an age of more sexually transmitted diseases than ever before, and questions about sexual orientation up the wazoo, comprehensive sex education is absolutely necessary.


Tell that to Utah.

A bill passed by Republicans in the Utah House of Representatives would effectively ban comprehensive education about human sexuality, forcing schools to teach abstinence or nothing at all...The bill forbids advocating for "the use of contraceptive methods or devices," sex outside marriage or homosexuality. It also restricts teaching about sexual intercourse or erotic behavior.
Public and charter schools would have the option of developing an abstinence-only curriculum or skipping the discussion of sexuality altogether.

Taking a cue from presidential candidate Rick's Santorum's stance on all things sexual, Utah is indeed looking backward to the good ole days of "don't ask, don't tell." Not in the military, but in the classroom: if students doesn't ask about sex, then the teacher certainly won't tell them.


Back To The Playground


It's a known fact that when you tell teenagers not to do something they will do it. They have no fear of the "great unknown." That is what makes them foolhardy and courageous at the same time. They also feel that they are invincible and immune to things like HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. In fact, the "virginity pledge" touted by most of the Christian Right resulted in more unprotected sex and greater risk of infection and pregnancy.* 

And abstinence only programs have been the country's biggest (and most expensive) joke on the American tax payer: the ineffective programs cost $208 million in 2008 (up 300% from 2000 - the result of George Bush's faith-based prerogatives. Yet Rick Santorum and his anti-contraception group would have us believe that they do: on Jan. 25th, Santorum knocked the Obama administration for defunding abstinence only programs stating that "He [Obama] wants people to live in poverty." He did not properly relay how he came to this skewed reasoning. 

So now it may be back to the playground for Utah kids in terms of sex education:
"We’ve been culturally watered down to think we have to teach about sex, about having sex and how to get away with it, which is intellectually dishonest," Wright said in defense of the bill. "Why don’t we just be honest with them upfront that sex outside marriage is devastating?" [Utah state representative William Wright]

Devastating? So are STDs and unwanted pregnancies. Someone should tell Rep Bill Wright, the originator of the Bill, that there is a difference between being "intellectually honest" and intellectually deficient: and he is definitely the latter.

*In recent studies, the "virginity pledge" was found to have no effect whatsoever on teens and their sexual habits. Most teens have taken the "pledge" to appease their parents, and have had sex at the approximately same age and with the same number of sex partners. However, these studies also point out that teens taking the pledge were less likely to use any protection or contraception.   

The New Birth Missionary Kool Aid: Eddie Long's "Coronation" Creates A New Cult While Mocking Christianity And Judaism

He was wrapped in scrolls from the Torah - not in his usual spandex.


The media couldn't cope with the effrontery of it all, so perhaps that is why the latest news and video from New Birth Missionary Baptist Church didn't sally forth until last Wednesday:


Scandal-ridden "Bishop" Eddie Long was annointed "king" last Sunday in a ceremony in which he was wrapped in scrolls from the Torah and paraded around on a throne. He was also designated a "prophet of Atlanta."


This latest event from what has become the nation's most ridiculed mega church has astounded even the most jaded: the below video has gone viral and has had jaws dropping and WTFs peppering the internet. 


The entire video is an unbelievable act of hubris: as if we are seeing Napoleon crowned emperor by the Pope, only Long is a poor Napoleon and "Rabbi" Messer is certainly no pope.

The Presenter of Kings


"Rabbi" Ralph Messer and his SIMCHAT TORAH BEIT MIDRASH are confusing entities- vague amalgums of Christianity and Judaism tied to Long's past Economic Empowerment Summit, thought to be instrumental in Long's million-dollar ponzi scheme. Like Long's title of "Bishop" and Prophetess Cindy ("Japan is shaped like a dragon'") Jacobs' "doctorate", Messer's sobriquet of "Rabbi" seems to be fabricated.


But that doesn't stop the New Birth Congregation from swallowing every Scripture-referenced declaration by Messer. His charismatic, televangelist demeanor overwhelmed the audience. And his mini-Torah lesson sounded authoritative. After all, besides giving its history, he included the monetary value of the scroll, and  to a Prosperity Gospel congregation that is imperative.


"On behalf of the Jewish People, the land of Israel and the God of Israel, I want to make a presentation."


The next days and weeks will hear from the millions who disagree: Messer's authority comes only from Messer. The Knesset may have something to say about him. (Or nothing, since they may not know he even exists).


THE COVENANT AND THE KOOL AID


Most of Messer's annointing of Long consisted of making the scandal-ridden Long immune from any more ... scandal:


"He is a humble man."
 "You can't attack him!"
" He's sealed by every word!"
 "...hidden in the Word of God!"
 "He's given the Constitution of God as a KING!" 
"...is raised up from a commoner to a kingship!" 
"We love you Bishop!"


The ceremony seemed more of a covenant between Long and his congregation, a covenant that said that he could never again be questioned about anything, never again be doubted, never again be charged with any malpractice of faith or even any civil crime. From now on, "Bishop" Eddie Long is accountable only to God. 


The rest of the performance is merely a peon to rock star worship at concerts, with the star looking oh so very humble and tearful.

Perhaps Anthea Butler of Religion Dispatches put the coronation in its most revealing light:

Clearly they have drunk the “Kool Aid” and I don’t use that term lightly. I’ve believed since my trip to New Birth back in 2010, when Long promised to fight his civil case, that New Birth was a cult-like organization. Long’s hold over his congregation reminds me of Jim Jones. That may sound harsh, but Jim Jones slept with his members too, before leading the People’s Temple into the jungles of Guyana.

The mind-boggling loyalty of the New Birth congregation certainly seems to point in the direction of "cult."  Notable are Messer's references to slavery and chromosomes, as if to say that Long is anointed by New Birth's African American ancestors as well. 


Butler also believes that Long's ministry is dying and so is his mega-church. However, this slow death may make the congregants drink the Kool Aid all the sooner, and I, along with Anthea Butler, hope that more testimonies of sex abuse and ponzi schemes surface before it is too late.


What Price Gullibility?


Cynics like me tend to dismiss acts like the anointing of "Bishop" Eddie Long as the epitome of stupidity. But this time, I would like to say seriously that no matter how much comedy fodder Long and his minions might be, he's still dangerous - simply because he holds desperate, gullible people in his grasp. These people have been stripped of spiritual self-respect. We should laugh at him on the condition that laughter will cause his followers to take note and perhaps attempt to regain that self-respect - in seeking spiritual guidance elsewhere. 

Mary and Joseph's Was a SHOTGUN WEDDING!

Terry Jones Update: The Latest Video Proves That Righteous Arrogance Kills People and Breeds Stupid Pastors

The last words: "This man is insane!"

A Methodist Minister, a Muslim Imam and a Fred Phelps Impersonator walk into a bar...

OK, I'm straining to be light about the whole thing, but the video of Terry Jones going toe-to-toe with Imam Hassan Al-Qazwini and Rev. Ed Rowe - Pastor of Central United Methodist Church in Detroit would be hysterically funny if peace and safety didn't hinge on it. All the talking points are there, but Jones' insistence that his actions are not harmful and that they have a point hold no correlation to those points.

SPECIAL NOTE: You may well be reading this after Jones' attempt to protest, but to get a good look at simple reasoning being thrown at someone like Jones, you really must watch the video. The idiom "Pearls Before Swine" will surely pop into your head. If you have any problems viewing it, go HERE to the site. And, yes, it's that important. 

Comic Update: As if in some old sitcom (discontinued after 4 episodes), this happened to Jones after the interview:

Controversial Pastor Terry Jones made a name for himself after burning a Koran to protest radical Islam.  On Thursday, Jones fired bullet into the floorboard of his car.

Southfield Police say the gun accidentally discharged.  No one was hurt.  No Charges were filed.  Police gave the gun back to Jones and sent him on his way.

Jones was born 90 years too late: he could have been a star in Mack Sennett's Keystone Cops comedies.

Where was I? Ah, yes, the talking points: Jones swatted them off like flies, not knowing that he looked totally cold and callous throughout the entire discussion. He was introduced as "the most controversial man in America - maybe the most controversial man in the world!" and that may have set his ego flying. He definitely studied under Fred Phelps. 


He spoke in even tones from a scowl-covered face how he had been "around the world" and spent 30 years as a "missionary " in Europe, omitting the fact that his last "sect" in Europe (Germany) had ousted him with the help of the German government. Evidently the 800-member church could not stand his dictatorial ways. When asked pointedly "What are you trying to prove?" he said it was to "raise awareness" about growing "radical" Islam, Jihad and Sharia law. 


He also compared himself to Rev. Martin Luther King. 


In reference to his burning the Quran: "The Quran is a book, I do not care how holy it is. It is not flesh and blood." Others chimed in that Jones had "blood on his hands" in knowing that burning the sacred scripture of Islam would cause violence. 


"Absolutely not." He reasoned that what people did 7,000 miles away was not related to the burning because radical Muslims always react violently. (I almost interjected at this point: "Get yourself out of the 14th century: today, one word - in any part of the world - can set off a holocaust against any group." The image of me screaming at the computer screen, however, made me look almost as ridiculous as Jones.)


Both the Imam and Rev. Rowe were, in effect, stonewalled by stupidity. Imam Hassan Al-Qazwini's reasoning, while not flawless, was direct and to-the-point: Jones did not know anything about the Quran, Islam or even Christianity. He calmly pointed out that the Quran honors and mentions Jesus Christ numerous times and that Jones dishonored Jesus as well as Mohammad. Pastor Rowe, however, was extremely agitated: "I don’t own your vision of Christianity at all." And later: "He’s lying about Christianity, he’s lying about Martin Luther King and he’s lying about Islam." 


Working On Paranoia

It is ironic that the discussion was held on FOX News channel WJBK-2 Detroit: Rev. Rowe is definitely what can be called a "progressive" Christian, not at all in line with Christian Right leaders like Pat Robertson, James Dobson or Tony Perkins. The Imam's comment about "fringe" groups in Christianity as well as Islam would have been hotly contested. 

Towards the end of the third segment, the Imam was asked why people in America feared Islam. The Imam's answer was simple: "I think they fear Islam because of people like Pastor Terry Jones...he works on their paranoia."


Yes, he does. And this video - a spectacle of stubbornness and stupidity - proves that he will continue to do so. At the end, the viewer will cry or laugh defensively:

A Methodist Minister, a Muslim Imam and a Fred Phelps Impersonator walk into a bar...

Eddie Long's All-Male Pajama Prayer Party: "Bring A B-i-i-i-g Offering!"

This one escaped me. I think Google Alerts isn't doing its job!


It's not nerve - it's sheer stupidity! A lot of people in Eddie Long's congregation are probably scratching their heads right now and murmuring "what was he thinking?" He's not fully returned to the pulpit, but he has surfaced in a video showing him promoting an all-male, overnight, prayer vigil. Yes, that's right, a ... (snicker, snicker) "prayer vigil." 

And what kind of offering does he REALLY want the twinks, ooops, I mean men, to bring? This is beyond the pale of the ridiculous. Doesn't he ever listen to advisors? Oh, that's right: the sure way for people to know you're not gay is by sponsoring an all-male meeting! 

It's Really Hit The Fan!: How Obama's "DOMA Dump" Brought Out The Self-Righteous, The Insane And The Just Plain Stupid

Did you know that homosexuality is the REAL cause of "dead beat dads"?? Mike Huckabee says so!!

Yesterday, I could smell the explosion of fire and brimstone here in San Francisco (where it was a cool and beautifully clear day, totally devoid of God's wrath). I could even sense the gnashing of teeth, ripping of garments and tearing of hair. And I'm evil enough to say that I enjoyed it all. The Christian Right, in full force, came out in its totally self-righteous mode, entertaining the whole country. 

So what the hell did people expect? My fingers were glued to the keyboard the moment I read the news about Obama, the Justice Department and DOMA. Then I thought, "Sit and wait, rev." The deluge of self-righteousness was overwhelming: so many people were "appalled" at the "outrageous" and "unthinkable" act "radical element" Obama has done, all-but-declaring DOMA to be null and void, "abandoning his role as President." Some diatribes were (relatively) short, others long-winded and others too flabbergasting to be coherent. The panoply and intensity of outrage was - to use their own words - "staggering":

I first went to Family Research Council's Tony Perkins since he has become, after all, the country's Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler of the Royal Order of Righteous Rhetoric:

"This decision by President Obama and the Department of Justice is appalling. The President's failure to defend DOMA is also a failure to fulfill his oath to 'faithfully execute the office of President of the United States.' What will be the next law that he will choose not to enforce or uphold? "Marriage as a male-female union has been easily defended in court and overwhelmingly supported by the American people.

Ahem. That "overwhelmingly supported by the American people" has changed a bit since the Dark Ages (before Prop 8), but Perkins is well known for skewing numbers to the point that some researchers are thinking of suing him and the FRC.

Matt Staver, Liberty Counsel:

“This is outrageous and unthinkable ... Today President Obama has abandoned his role as President of the United States and transformed his office into the President of the Divided States. He has been the most divisive president in American history.

Staver's bluster is countered by the fact that Obama has always been a lawyer first, a President second and a constitutional scholar third when it comes to matters of law. He would not have made such a statement if he hadn't thought it out with all of the legal ramifications it might entail.  The "divisive" adjective may go along with Perkins' "overwhelming" statement, but people are beginning to think differently about same-sex marriage... and Staver knows it.

Maggie Ghallagher, NOM:

“We have not yet begun to fight for marriage. The Democrats are responding to their election loss with a series of extraordinary, extra-constitutional end runs around democracy, whether it’s fleeing the state in Wisconsin and Indiana to prevent a vote, or unilaterally declaring homosexuals a protected class under our Constitution, as President Obama just did. 

Maggie Ghallagher is no John Paul Jones, but she is definitely on a sinking ship: the "crowds" at her rallies can all fit into my bathroom.

As always, Bryan Fischer:

[This is] "a wake-up call to all conservatives that fundamental American values regarding the family are under all-out assault by this administration. It ought to represent a clarion call to man the barricades before we lose what is left of the Judeo-Christian system of values in our public life."

"Assault" and "man the barricades" reinforce more than Fischer's penchant for militaristic rhetoric: it's his evocation of the myth of the masculine privilege. Fischer is being the forceful "man" he thinks Jesus Christ was, all Rambofied and armed with tough love. This gives us the feeling that Mr. Fischer is compensating for something.

And Mike Huckabee:

"There is a quantified impact of broken families," Huckabee said. "[There is a] $300 billion dad deficit in America every year...that's the amount of money that we spend as taxpayers to pick up the pieces because dads are derelict in their duties."

This is genuinely a WTF? correlation. Is Rev. Huckabee losing it? Maybe no more than Pat Robertson who was last seen helping to conduct a faith healing that looked more like an episode of Jerry Springer.* What is a "dad deficit"? Do we now have a shortage of fathers because gay men are luring them away with their wiles? Some women should be so lucky! Point of fact: some women would rather have a gay husband. Totally apropos sentiment from one wistful woman: "I long for the old days, when the good ones were either married or gay. Now they're both!"

 

Rick Santorum:

"President Obama's refusal to defend a law that was overwhelmingly supported on both sides of the aisle and signed into law by a president of his own party is an affront to the will of the people." 

(h/t Joe.My.God)

Yes, the accompanying photo is a rather cheap shot, but I couldn't resist it. Santorum is still trying to get his name re-googled.

OK, I'll stop being giddy about the situation and stop to breathe a more serious note: the problem we now face is that of a circus trainer trying to put his tiger back in its cage. The Christian Right, with its power behind the Republican Party (and some Tea Partiers) will not only be ferocious in its onslaught against Obama, but against anyone they feel is not backing their agenda 110 percent. They've already begun to peel some moderate skin off the Republican Party with their claws.  

When pseudo-historian David Barton recently spoke to the Connect 2011 Pastors Conference, he said that Christians needed to take control of the culture and media so that "guys that have a secular viewpoint cannot survive" because Christians will "chop that kind of news off." I don't think Barton's talking about viewpoint. 


I'm serious.

"More Gruel, Sir?" Missouri says "Get Back To Work!"

SB 222 – This act modifies the child labor laws. It eliminates the prohibition on employment of children under age fourteen. Restrictions on the number of hours and restrictions on when a child may work during the day are also removed. It also repeals the requirement that a child ages fourteen or fifteen obtain a work certificate or work permit in order to be employed. Children under sixteen will also be allowed to work in any capacity in a motel, resort or hotel where sleeping accommodations are furnished. It also removes the authority of the director of the Division of Labor Standards to inspect employers who employ children and to require them to keep certain records for children they employ. It also repeals the presumption that the presence of a child in a workplace is evidence of employment.

Hey kids! Don't let your folks EVER take you to Kansas City! You might wind up in a workhouse courtesy of the State of Missouri!

Seriously, the most ridiculous piece of work (plus her proposed legislation) has taken the State of Missouri by storm. She is State Senator Jane Cunningham. Giving the bizarre reason of "nanny state," she has proposed abolishing most of the state's child labor laws.

You read that right.

Read that statement again. If you still don't think it's right, just read HERE and HERE.

Her reasons?

The current restrictions, Cunningham says, imply “that government can make a better decision than a parent.” Also, Cunningham, who is no fan of public schools, dislikes the provision in state law that says students younger than 16 must obtain signed permission from their school before taking a job.

Naturally, Cunningham is an ardent advocate of home-schooling. 

And parents whose poverty may push them to send their kids into virtual slavery or simply rotten parents (there are some) will love her. 

We'll try to keep up with this bizarre piece of legislation. Until then, pass the gruel.

Brian Fischer: YOU Can't Handle The Truth!

The Silly Saga of Bryan Fischer and his never-ending quest to head up The Inquisition!

At last it has to come to this: Bryan Fischer's righteous arrogance knows no bounds. 

A lot is at stake here. If Americans believe that the entire history of our nation rests on a horribly evil foundation, then there is nothing to be proud of in American history, and our president is correct to identify America as the source of all evil in the world and to make a career out of apologizing for her very existence.

In other words, Native Americans were "horribly evil" and we were totally justified in what we did to them. 

Tony Perkins: Look at what thou hath wrought!

Just The Way The Right Wants It: The Queen of Idiot America Will Be President!

I had no idea that the people of Minneapolis had such a monumental hatred for the rest of the country. I mean, didn't we portray it in a good enough light on the Mary Tyler Moore Show? Sure, we saw lots of snow, overcoats and a woolly caps, but come on, there's no reason for Minneapolis to curse the rest of the country with one of history's most insidiously stupid politicians!

Yeah, yeah we know that Sarah Palin started us down the slippery slope of accepting power-grabbing dimwits, the country was starting to opine for the good 'ole days of W and stand-up comedians are starving for material, but has our hunger to be entertained overshadowed our need to be led by someone with at least half a brain?

Apparently not.

Matt Barber of Liberty Counsel:

From the instant his fruitful eight-year reign ended, Republicans have pined for the next Ronald Reagan... Sarah Palin, you say?  The buzz inside the Beltway is that Mrs. Bachmann may be looking to add a woman's touch to the Oval Office (beyond just sprucing up its temporary occupant's eyesore decor). Her spokesman, Doug Sachtleben, has confirmed to media that the congresswoman is considering a potential presidential run, saying: "Nothing's off the table."

Nothing's off the table, except, maybe, sanity. Or a modicum of intelligence. Barber goes on to describe Bachmann as a "maverick's maverick," the most conservative member of Congress (because only a right wingnut job will do) and "indifferent to what the moonbat media and the larger loony left think about her." Not counting the rather original "moonbat media" jibe, Barber waxes predictable: Bachmann is the perfect uber-Christian for the office of POTUS. So, if elected by all of the other uber-Rightwing Christians, we will be treated to more of these wonderful bits of wisdom:

• ''[Pelosi] is committed to her global warming fanaticism to the point where she has said she has even said she is trying to save the planet. We all know that someone did that 2,000 years ago.''
• "A woman (Terri Schiavo) was healthy. There was brain damage, there was no question. But from a health point of view, she was not terminally ill.''
• ''If we took away the minimum wage -- if conceivably it was gone -- we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.''
• ''I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back."    

Bachmann's "reasoning" runs the gamut from tortured to absolutely clueless.

Are people pining away for George Bush to the extent that they'll take someone with equal (or lesser) value? The Right constantly screams at the Left on how vicious it was towards Bush when the truth is that many of us were laughing too hard to be vicious. Focusing on ineptitude as monumental as Bush's took a vigilance so constant that it wore many of us out, leading the introspective amongst us to surmise that maybe Bush was acting "The Good Soldier Schweik." The fact that half of the country voted for him TWICE was an indication that the dumbing of America had finally taken hold and that we were on the slippery slope to irrelevancy. 

Barber's fawning also stated "her existing widespread Tea Party support" which may or may not be true, because the TP's lack of credible foundation and leadership makes them look as if they'll hold on to anything that says "no more big government, no more taxes." 

Excess of any kind can be comical, so that is why Barber's statement that if coupled with Obama in a debate, Bachmann would "mop the floor with him," now lies as the most laughable statement out the mouth of a rabid Religious Right (oops, - social conservative) Reconstructionist. 

Excessive idiocy aside, the Right wing theocrats (religious or political) of today need to rein Bachmann in and let her make her mark in history through insanely stupid malapropisms. Allowing her a wider audience would be a nail in the coffin of America's intelligence.