Saturday, September 6, 2008

Ann Coulter: Fastest Forked Tongue in the World!*...Who Ran (or Galloped) to the Defense of "Our Brave Sarah."

Surprise! Ann Coulter(geist) REALLY likes Sarah Palin! And (therefore) REALLY Hates Obama...and Edwards... and Clinton... just about everybody else except for maybe The National Inquirer and herself.

Ann Coulter even hates that part of America of which she has become: The Media.

While the difficult circumstances of Palin's pregnant daughter are being covered like a terrorist attack on the nation, with leering accounts of the 18-year-old father, the media remain resolutely uninterested in the parentage of Edwards' mistress's love child. Except, that is, the hardworking reporters at the National Enquirer, who say Edwards is the father.

As this goes to press, the latest media-invented scandal about Palin is that McCain didn't know her well before choosing her as his running mate. He knew her well enough, though admittedly, not as well as Obama knows William Ayers.

At this point, Ann Coulter reminds me of The Joker in Dark Knight, the latest Batman movie. Heath Ledger did a masterful job at portraying a man who knew he was insane, but instead of being tortured about it, was going to have fun with it. Ann Coulter knows she's insanely vitriolic about the majority of people around her, but she doesn't care: "It's not about the money, it's never been about the money, "said The Joker. Anne's made her pile through book sales and speaking engagements and she's content with it. In other words, Ann ENJOYS her vitriol. She wallows in it, in fact. Her own words are always music to her ears! Offensive? Who cares? I'm having FUN! My well-turned phrases are so good and popular that every one could be made into a movie instantly and put the Batman and Harry Potter movies to shame!

The problem for Coultergeist is that sometimes her viciousness works in reverse: if Coulter actually likes a person, then that person MUST have something TERRIBLY wrong with them. America roots for the underdog. And Ann has made way too many underdogs to be taken seriously. If she actually LIKES Sarah Palin, then Palin should stay in Walissa where she is both loved and despised (if any of comments of the Alaska Daily News' readers are to be believed).

Unfortunately (for Coulter), her rants are becoming tedious and boring. She even uses cliches and silly jabs again and again. Notice

John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, as his running mate finally gave Republicans a reason to vote for him -- a reason, that is, other than
B. Hussein Obama.

So the media are taking it out on our brave Sarah and her 17-year-old daughter.

They tried to create a "Troopergate" for Palin, indignantly demanding to know why she wanted to get her ex-brother-in-law removed as a state trooper. Again, public corruption is not a good issue for someone like Obama, Chicago pol and noted friend of Syrian National/convicted felon Antoin Rezko.

"B. Hussein Obama" has been used many times by Coulter. "Our brave Sarah," makes Coulter's choice look like some waif in a silent movie (I had a cool idea, but then I quickly realized that Mary Pickford's dead). And notice how Coulter doesn't really say "Troopergate" isn't true, she just shifts to calling Democrats hypocrites.

As Palin begins to look more like a combination of Elmer Gantry and Elmer Fudd (who, like Palin, is the mascot of the NRA), Coulter steps up her rhetoric by saying "lies, lies, lies" or switches the subject to something she thinks is a counterpart in the Democrats. And no matter what the subject is, she'll try to tie it to John Edwards because Ann likes to kick people when they're down. Hell, this is a woman who goes to the park in the morning and pees on at least ten homeless people to jumpstart her day!

So, if Coulter likes her, be afwaid, be vewry, vewy afwaid...of Sarah Palin.

* As reported in The Guiness Book of World-Class Bitches

Here's a GREAT YouTube cartoon that depicts Ann Coulter's personality PERFECTLY. You'll see what I'm talking about!

Palin Didn't "Electrify" Her Party...

Not this......BUT THIS!


It seems that Sarah Palin intends to stay in Washington for quite a while, considering all of the excess baggage she's lugging with her: and they amount to lies and distortions BEFORE she could take office! "Electrified" Republicans are looking more like sheep being led to the slaughter, or - not to mix metaphors - more like criminals being led to the electric chair.

Unfortunately, this electrocution is comically entertaining to some people: if Palin is allowed to get away with all of the "shocks" she's given to the people of Alaska and the nation, there are way too many countries who will be laughing their asses off - and not all of them our enemies either! (Of course, England will be, more correctly, laughing it's arse off).

It is unfortunate as well that Palin seems to suffer from a particular malady called "Bush's disease" wherein she suffers delusions of "truthiness" in everything she says. She also thinks that people besides Republicans living in single-wides will discard critics as "jealous," "misogynistic" or "un-American."

Perhaps the one note that Sarah Palin inadvertantly struck in her speech (and in her career) is one of hypocrisy: e.g., she claims to be a compassionate "mom" while trying to annihilate the polar bear population. Also, she campaigned for Wasilla mayorship on fiscal responsibility and left the office - and Wasilla - $20 million in debt. She crowed about selling Alaska's gubernatorial jet only after she had her office in Wasilla redecorated three times.

So let's look at "electrfying" shocks she has given people up to date (there may be more, so just consider this a work in progress):

Palin Hasn’t "Given The War In Iraq Much Thought."
Palin Has Never Been To Iraq.
Shock! Palin Believes That The Iraq War Is A "Task From God."
Shock! Palin Believes The Iraq War Was Fought Over Oil.

Shock! Palin Didn’t Have A Passport Until 2007 (HUH?!!)
Shock! Palin Supported The Bridge To Nowhere.
Shock! Palin Obtained $27 Million In Earmarks As Mayor Of Wasilla.
Shock! Palin Denies Man-Made Global Warming.
Shock! Challenging ‘Uncertain Climate Models,’ Palin Is Suing To Lift Protected Status For Polar Bears.
Shock! Palin Established Illegal Fly-By Wolf Hunting Bounty.
Shock! Palin Is A Top Arctic Wildlife Refuge Drilling Advocate.
Shock! Palin Opposes Lieberman’s Bill To Prevent Arctic Refuge Drilling.
Shock! Palin Dismisses Alternative Energy.
Shock! Palin Believes It Is ‘God’s Will’ To Build A Natural Gas Pipeline.
Shock! Palin’s First Statewide Campaign Was Fueled By Veco.

Shock! Palin’s Inauguration Was Sponsored By BP.
Shock! Palin Supports Teaching Creationism In Public Schools.
Shock! Palin Is A Member Of Anti-Abortion Group Feminists For Life.
Shock! Palin Opposes Abortion Even In Cases Of Rape Or Incest.
Shock! Palin Slashed Funding To Help Teenage Mothers.
Shock! Palin Supports Abstinence-Only Policies.
Shock! Palin Supports Parental Consent Laws For Minors Seeking Abortions.
Shock! Palin’s Lobbyist Had ‘Close Ties’ To Don Young, Ted Stevens.
Shock! Palin’s Lobbyist Was Part Of ‘Team Abramoff.’
Shock! Palin Served As Director Of ‘Ted Stevens Excellence In Public Service’ 527.
Shock! State Employee Charged Palin With Ethics Violation.
Shock! Palin Forced Top Wasilla Employees To Resign As Loyalty Test.
Shock! Palin Fired Police Chief For Not Fully Supporting Her.

Shock! Palin Used Mayoral Office Resources For Campaigning.
Shock! Ousted Former State Official Accused Palin Of Pressuring Him To Fire Trooper.
Palin requested the resignation of Wasilla Public Library director when the director stated she would not remove any titles from the library.
Shock! Palin’s Intial Denials Of Interference In Firing Were Proven False.
Shock! Palin’s Lawyer In Investigation Is Also Her Personal Attorney.
Shock! Palin Has Refused To Release E-mails, Citing ‘Executive Privilege.’
Shock! Palin Cheered On the Alaskan Independence Party
Shock! Palin Welcomed The Hard-Right Candidacy Of Pat Buchanan.
Shock! Palin Characterized Ron Paul As ‘Cool.’
Shock! Palin Believes The Founding Fathers Wrote The Pledge Of Allegiance.
Shock! Palin Supports Denying Benefits To Same-Sex Couples.
Shock! Palin Opposed Expanding Hate Crime Laws.

Shock! Palin Advocated Consumer-Driven Health Care.
Shock! Palin Introduced Health Care Transparency Act.
Shock! Palin Did Not Take A Position On Expanding SCHIP Funding.
Shock! Palin Signed Watered-Down SCHIP Bill.
Shock! Palin Failed To Support A Bill To Cover All Alaskans.
Shock! Palin Left Wasilla $20 Million In Debt.

Shock! Palin Instituted A Windfall Profits Tax On Oil Companies.
Shock! Palin Supported Flat Tax Advocate.

Republicans: Are you fried yet?