Saturday, September 6, 2008

Ann Coulter: Fastest Forked Tongue in the World!*...Who Ran (or Galloped) to the Defense of "Our Brave Sarah."

Surprise! Ann Coulter(geist) REALLY likes Sarah Palin! And (therefore) REALLY Hates Obama...and Edwards... and Clinton... just about everybody else except for maybe The National Inquirer and herself.

Ann Coulter even hates that part of America of which she has become: The Media.

While the difficult circumstances of Palin's pregnant daughter are being covered like a terrorist attack on the nation, with leering accounts of the 18-year-old father, the media remain resolutely uninterested in the parentage of Edwards' mistress's love child. Except, that is, the hardworking reporters at the National Enquirer, who say Edwards is the father.

As this goes to press, the latest media-invented scandal about Palin is that McCain didn't know her well before choosing her as his running mate. He knew her well enough, though admittedly, not as well as Obama knows William Ayers.

At this point, Ann Coulter reminds me of The Joker in Dark Knight, the latest Batman movie. Heath Ledger did a masterful job at portraying a man who knew he was insane, but instead of being tortured about it, was going to have fun with it. Ann Coulter knows she's insanely vitriolic about the majority of people around her, but she doesn't care: "It's not about the money, it's never been about the money, "said The Joker. Anne's made her pile through book sales and speaking engagements and she's content with it. In other words, Ann ENJOYS her vitriol. She wallows in it, in fact. Her own words are always music to her ears! Offensive? Who cares? I'm having FUN! My well-turned phrases are so good and popular that every one could be made into a movie instantly and put the Batman and Harry Potter movies to shame!

The problem for Coultergeist is that sometimes her viciousness works in reverse: if Coulter actually likes a person, then that person MUST have something TERRIBLY wrong with them. America roots for the underdog. And Ann has made way too many underdogs to be taken seriously. If she actually LIKES Sarah Palin, then Palin should stay in Walissa where she is both loved and despised (if any of comments of the Alaska Daily News' readers are to be believed).

Unfortunately (for Coulter), her rants are becoming tedious and boring. She even uses cliches and silly jabs again and again. Notice

John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska, as his running mate finally gave Republicans a reason to vote for him -- a reason, that is, other than
B. Hussein Obama.

So the media are taking it out on our brave Sarah and her 17-year-old daughter.

They tried to create a "Troopergate" for Palin, indignantly demanding to know why she wanted to get her ex-brother-in-law removed as a state trooper. Again, public corruption is not a good issue for someone like Obama, Chicago pol and noted friend of Syrian National/convicted felon Antoin Rezko.

"B. Hussein Obama" has been used many times by Coulter. "Our brave Sarah," makes Coulter's choice look like some waif in a silent movie (I had a cool idea, but then I quickly realized that Mary Pickford's dead). And notice how Coulter doesn't really say "Troopergate" isn't true, she just shifts to calling Democrats hypocrites.

As Palin begins to look more like a combination of Elmer Gantry and Elmer Fudd (who, like Palin, is the mascot of the NRA), Coulter steps up her rhetoric by saying "lies, lies, lies" or switches the subject to something she thinks is a counterpart in the Democrats. And no matter what the subject is, she'll try to tie it to John Edwards because Ann likes to kick people when they're down. Hell, this is a woman who goes to the park in the morning and pees on at least ten homeless people to jumpstart her day!

So, if Coulter likes her, be afwaid, be vewry, vewy afwaid...of Sarah Palin.

* As reported in The Guiness Book of World-Class Bitches

Here's a GREAT YouTube cartoon that depicts Ann Coulter's personality PERFECTLY. You'll see what I'm talking about!

No comments: