Sunday, September 21, 2008

Three Birds, One Stone - The Christofascist Play Starring Sarah Palin (Of Troopergate Fame)

Three Birds, One Stone
A farce in more than one act.

This is a kind of "wikiplay" since people can write their own play based on the cast of characters and the scenario. They can even add more characters (pertinent, please!) and subject matter all the way up to November, but please make your changes as soon as possible.

Cast of characters:

  • Sarah Palin: Governor of Alaska, former mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (pop. 5,000)
  • Todd Palin: Husband of Sarah, a shadowy figure, commercial fishing entrepreneur and advisor to British Petroelum (BP)
  • Walt Monegan: Former Public Safety Commissioner, fired by Palin
  • Chuck Kopp: Former Kanai City Police Chief, now currently serving as Public Safety Commisioner
  • Rev. Franklin Graham: son of great preacher Billy Graham and president of Samaritan's Purse, a faith-based charity organization
  • Rev. Jerry Prevo: Pastor of Anchorage Baptist Temple
  • Sen. John McCain: Republican Presidential nominee


Senator McCain is feeling pressured by Fundamentalists and Evangelicals to come up with a sign that he is serious about religion's role in the next administration. However, he's been linked to two very unconventional Christian pastors and dare not link himself to any more. On June 30, he visits Rev. Franklin Graham, after which Graham states: "We had an opportunity to pray ... for God's will to be done in this upcoming election."

A video on the scrim is projected. It is a montage of Sarah Palin and various other cast memebers (From the Anchorage Daily News):
Subsequent events suggest that the price of support for McCain by the fundamentalist Christian leadership would be a vice presidential candidate of their liking.
Since it is known that Franklin Graham owns a vacation residence, runs a Bible Camp and confers with numerous Christian Fundamentalists at a small community called Port Alsworth, Alaska, Sarah Palin is considered by some to be a good contender. But most of the Fundamentalist community need a "sign" from Palin as well. Her first 18 months at the helm of Alaska didn't seem aggressive enough for them.

Enter Kanai Police Chief Chuck Kopp. He is, in a very real sense, Palin's and McCain's savior. Not only is he a devout Christian, but he is also president of Cook Inlet Academy, a Christian high school his missionary father had founded, and on the board of Port Alsworth's Tanailan Bible Camp, also founded by his father. The chief benefactor of the Bible Camp happens to be Franklin Graham's Samaritan's Purse.

Enter Rev. Jerry Prevo of the Anchorage Baptist Temple. Prevo is on the Board of the Tanailan Bible Camp.

Back to Palin who realizes that the best way to give a "sign" to Graham is to promote Chuck Kopp. But how? She turns to Walt Monegan the current Safety Commissioner. She and her family have been trying to get Monegan to fire her former brother-in-law because the divorce of her sister was getting very messy. If she fires Monegan for some (trivial) reason, she can place Kopp in an authoritative role in Alaska's government and, eventually have HIM fire her brother-in-law! It's brilliant! Three birds with one stone!

The only thing she has to do is overlook the fact that Kopp has had numerous allegations of sexual harassment. She can overlook that and hope that nothing comes to the fore. Then the sign of acceptance comes to her:
The Washington Post reported that when Palin met with the Alaska delegation after her nomination during the recent Republican National Convention, Rev. Prevo, a member of the delegation, said Palin asked them to pray for her. Then Prevo handed the governor his cell phone; it was Franklin Graham calling to congratulate her.

If this scenario seems preposterous, you can check out the Anchorage Daily News here. Also preposterous is the fact that when Kopp was embroiled in a harassment scandal, Palin defended him thoroughly and put no credence to incriminating emails. Read the comments below the letter. Some people who knew Palin are chiming in with their own stories.

The play's the thing in where we'll catch the conscience of the king."