Friday, January 4, 2008

And THE WORST Predicton of All: There Will Be More Pat Robertsons

As Terry Meeuwsen* of The 700 Club says. “Each year Pat goes off alone with the Lord and then comes back to share what the Lord has shown him about the coming year..”

Evidently the Lord showed CBN showered with untold glory while the rest of the world will be mired in violence, chaos and still yet…more Pat Robertsons.

A paean to CBN in “continuing” its work to “take care of the poor and downtrodden...If you take care of them… If you look after them, I’m gonna look after you.” Very shrewd: kind of combines progressive Christianity with prosperity theology. More importantly, it’s a turn of phrase that PR has said in the past with less conviction since he was guilty of furthering the interests of African dictators (by the way, not once in his evangelism segment does he mention Africa). Change of heart? No. Change of brain? Maybe.

Pat/God goes on to say that there’s going to be a resurgence in evangelism and that China will lead the way with upwards of 250 million brand spanking new Chinese Christians: “God’s gonna give us China.” (And silver, too)

Economic and other predictions:

1. A terrorist attack will still come. Just a matter of when. “Did I miss it? Possibly.” You mean you misunderstood GOD?

2. “Violence and chaos in the world. Nations will be convulsed with violence.” And Operation Blessing will give birth to Operation Blackwater – a new Christian mercenary group.

3. Gold will hit $1000. The dollar will continue to decline. Then what will CBN take in donations, Euros?

4. Oil will hit $500 a barrel. If only to make Creflo Dollar drive a Prius.

5. 2009/2010 a major stock market crash. But only after CBN goes public and offers a $1 billion retirement package to Pat.

6. Angelic manifestations. Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Charlize Theron will clone themselves.

God also told him the winner of the presidential election, but he declined to comment about that. God must have said the name at which Pat Robertson shudders: Hillary!

Just how many people watched that 700 Club Broadcast?

According to its website:

Seen in 95 percent of the television markets across the United States, the program is carried on ABC Family Channel cable network, FamilyNet, Trinity Broadcasting Network, and numerous U.S. television stations and is seen daily by approximately one million viewers. WorldReach broadcasts, which include the international editions of The 700 Club, have been viewed in more than 70 foreign languages, can be seen in more than 200 countries, and are accessible throughout the year by more than 1.5 billion people around the world.

2008: scary, isn't it?

*Don’t doubt anything Terry says, ‘cause she’s a former Miss America!