Friday, July 11, 2008

Hate-fest? Love-fest? Why Not a Love-of- Hate-Fest?

What Do You Expect From Such A Fair and Unbiased Group?

The oh-so-artistic piece below is part of FRC's ridiculous online flier-handout for it's Values Voters Summit. And as it says, it highlights "judicial tyranny" - with a bad cut-and-paste-clip-art job - but it fails to mention that it will also be against such issues as same-sex marriage, pro-choice, teaching evolution in schools. On the "for" side, it will probably focus on abstinence, book burnings (how to engineer them), abstinence, Intelligent Design, abstinence, Exodus, International and, oh yes, abstinence.

NOTE: Sorry if it looks weird, as if it were on Hollywood Squares, but I'm not skilled in copying jack-shit off a webpage (more correctly, an email of a webpage). I've just looked at it again and somehow, it seems appropriate: like I'm viewing the flier through a chain link fence. These people are dangerous even when caged.

Notice several things about this "flier": it covers its ass legally. Those little asterisks are very important. These people are
confirmed but the others are not. It also goes on to list Michael Medved, Newt Gingrich, Chuck Colson, Laura Ingraham, Dr. Bill Bennett, Michael Steele, Gov. Mitt Romney, Lou Dobbs, Sean Hannity and Rev. Jonathan Falwell. The "possibles" are Dobbs, Ingraham and Hannity. In tiny print: Gov. Jeb Bush, Michael Reagan, Chuck Norris, Republican and Democratic Nominees and more!! Hmmm. It also presents the focus on judges in a comic vein and denotes no specific names so as not to be sued for libel.

Gasp! What if one of the "confirmed speakers/presenters" should drop out at the last minute! It also vaguely states "Republican and Democratic nominees". Obama wouldn't come because there are too many covert rascists in the group (not to mention the ones in the audience who are now allowed to carry handguns in DC!) McCain could go, because if he did, he could always say that he didn't know what it was about. Blame a senior moment.

Getting back to the guests:

Phyllis Schlafly: what a flattering picture of someone who is 140 years old (actually, 84 by the time she attends the FRC function). Really, how much vaseline was used on the lens? So the woman hates her own sex more than anything (except maybe Gloria Steinem) and she hates sex, period: she's against condom use and against sex education. She doesn't like her son John very much either ever since he came out of the closet in 1992. She even hates some Republicans. Last May, she was presented with an honorary degree from her Alma Mater in St. Louis and this is what happened:
A more realistic, I mean, recent photo


At the May 16, 2008 commencement ceremony, Schlafly was awarded a doctor of humane letters degree. During the ceremony, hundreds of attendees, including about a third of the graduating students and some faculty, silently stood and turned their backs to Schlafly in protest. In the days leading up to the commencement there were several protests regarding her degree award, Schlafly described these protesters as "a bunch of losers." "Doctor of Humane Letters" Humane? I wouldn't want her to bake cookies for me. I'm slightly allergic to arsenic.

Jan La Rue: At first, when I started researching Ms. La Rue, the only person that popped up was Chi Chi LaRue, the gay porn director/producer. It just so happens that Ms. La Rue is buried in the offices of Concerned Women for America and has a thing for Beverly LaHaye (those "la's" are sexy!). She's a lawyer for CWA so she therefore hates abortion and gays (she routinely pals with Phyllis Schlafly to beat up Physllis' son). She's listed on the CWA website as a Pornography Law Expert - meaning she gets a lot of freebies and "review copies" Jan jealously guards the mission of CWA (from website): The mission of CWA is to protect and promote Biblical values among all citizens - first through prayer, then education, and finally by influencing our society - thereby reversing the decline in moral values in our nation.

Michael Medved:

A queer duck in more ways than one, Michael Medved wants to be remembered as a baal teshuva, which in Judaism means one who has attained a state of holiness through repentance. With Medved, it might mean holier-than-thou. While he tries to look unbiased, you must remember that he a senior member of The Discovery Institute, positing Intelligent Design instead of that evil of evils, evolution.

Rev. Jonathan Falwell:

Born and educated at his father Jerry's knee, Jonathan hasn't raged about any Tinkie Winkies yet, but give him time. He's apparently abandoned his father's "Old Time Gospel Hour" for something less medieval-sounding and nondescript. We must be kind to Jonathan, however, because being educated at his father's Liberty University in divinity, he knows absolutely nothing of the outside world.

Chuck Colson

One of the Watergate Seven, it's not surprising that born-again Colson tauts his own prison ministry (he must have been some lucky con's bitch).

The list of self-righteous people for this year's Value Voters Summit is astonishing for its right-wingedness. There's not a liberal (or even centrist) in the lot. And that says a lot: no liberal can ever be right, or more self-righteous. Liberals are, in fact, EVIL!!

Here's a suggestion for enlivening this September soiree: if someone on the team can be bribed (maybe Colson knows who to "donate" to) to give us the list of judges to be "honored" at this event, maybe those judges can actually show up for their awards! Accompanied by media other than FOX. Can FRC say the word "tension"?
It would be evil and marvelous at the same time!

Evil, evil protesters: mark the dates of Sept. 12-14. Evil must be about!
Then again, Chuck Norris will be there...

Hey, everybody, watch me chop this mike to smithereens!