Labels: Depression, failed bus tour, Gracie Allen, Gracie Allen For President, Political half-quit, Sarah Palin, Super-Ego
Attempts at publicity should always be followed through: too many people are watching.
All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share.
The strategies of Allen's campaign were comic gold: her party was the Surprise Party and when asked why, she explained that her mother was a Democrat, her father a Republican, and she had been born a Surprise. Her Party mascot was a Kangaroo because her slogan was "It's In the Bag!" One of her plans for government was to put Congress on a commission basis: whenever the country did well economically, Congress would get ten percent of the take (like a talent agent).* Another idea was to extend Civil Service to ALL branches of Government because "a little politeness goes a long way."**
Gracie also proved to have Presidential qualities:
HONESTY: As I look...at all these trusting and loving faces...tears come into my eyes...and if you must know why...it's because my girdle is killing me.
I stand before you tonight a simple, plain woman... which is not my fault, but the beautician can't take me till tomorrow.
STATESMANSHIP: Let's all put our shoulders to the wheel and push the Ship of State further into the mud.
ON THE ECONOMY: (Today's Republicans would love her for this) This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.
and... We should be proud of our national debt! After all, It's the biggest in the world!
SAGE ADVICE TO POLITICIANS: Keep up your morning exercises, because every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.
MISOGYNISTIC BUT TRUE: Everybody knows a woman is better than a man when it comes to introducing bills into the house.
Her 33-city whistlestop train tour (bus tours today are apparently more grueling) culminated in the Surprise Party's national convention in Omaha, NE. Thousands of "delegates" flocked to the convention where Gracie was unanimously nominated. There was no vice-presidential candidate on her ticket, however, because she said she would "tolerate no vice" in her administration. Later, at the request of Eleanor Roosevelt, she spoke at the Women's National Press Club in Washington.
For all her campaign efforts, Gracie Allen - as a write-in candidate - garnered 43,000 votes against Roosevelt and Wendell Wilkie, bigger ratings for the Burns and Allen radio show and the endearing love of the entire country.
Sarah Palin can't do better than that.
*Actually, not a bad idea.
** Republicanism not withstanding