What Do We REALLY Know About Dick Cheney and Mahatma Ghandi?

One of the things we know for sure:

Dick Cheney did NOT assassinate Ghandi.

- BUT HE COULD HAVE!

...if he had owned a gun and was in India at the time he was 7 years-old. Think hard: impossible, or merely improbable? Today marks the 60th ANNIVERSARY OF GHANDI'S ASSASSINATION - January 30 - and is also Dick Cheney's birthday.

Come to think of it, there were a lot of terrible things that happened on January 30th:

1. King Charles I was beheaded and Oliver Cromwell came to power in England
2. Andrew Jackson survived the first attempt to assisinate a U.S. President
3. Vietnam's TET offensive was launched
4. The Beatles made their last public appearance together
5. Ireland's "Bloody Sunday" occurred

...and 6. Hitler became Chancellor of Germany

O.K., lots of terrible things throughout history have happened on someone's birthdate (example: on mine - June 15th - "Hee Haw" premiered!). But when you think of Dick Cheney and these events, somehow, the word "coincidence" doesn't immediately spring to mind. The word "fitting" seems oddly closer to reality... and that's scary.

What kind of birthday present would YOU give Dick Cheney? What kind of present do you think he WANTS?

In any case, Happy Birthday, Dick!

Love, Mahatma

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OPRAH! NOW RUN FOR PRESIDENT!

When You're the World's Most Admired Woman,

Anything's Possible!

Michael Moore once possited that if Oprah Winfrey ever ran for President, she would win hands down. Which begs the question: why hasn't she?

Come on, Oprah! You've won our hearts, so surely you can win our votes! You're more intelligent than anything that's been in the office (for at least the last seven years). You can back Obama all you want, but with every vote for Obama, the voter will be thinking "O.K., but I sure wish it was Oprah!" You and only you could win on sheer charisma! Which opposing candidate would even dare run an attack ad? The ads could attack the American flag, apple pie and moms but not you!

Stop campaigning for everyone else! Think of it: the first African-American AND the first woman President! Ann Coulter would be frothing at the mouth in apoplexy! Michelle Malkin would faint! Rush Limbaugh would OD on painkillers! Bill O'Reilly would be rendered speechless. Pat Robertson would become more senile! (Oh, wait, that's not possible). O.K., maybe I'm overdoing it just a tiny bit, but Oprah, you can't deny that this country has always been awaiting your magic touch.

Again Happy Birthday Girl!