PLEASE, GOD! LET IT BE ME!
But no such luck. The only way I could get any attention from Dobson would be to immolate myself in front of the Focus on the Family building, giving Dobson a great excuse to hold a barbeque. 
Today is definitely a day of ironies: While it encourages celebration of gay pride, being the 39th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, it is also Ted Haggard's birthday! And while it commemorates the signing of the Treaty of Versailles, officially ending WWI, it is also the date on which Archduke Ferdinand and his wife, Sophie were assassinated, causing WWI.
Have you ever noticed that the people who start wars are not necessarily the ones who END them? Germany started a war in 1939, but almost everyone agrees that America and England ended it. George Bush started a war, but another president will have to end it. And if all goes as George wants, he'll start a war with Iran before January 20, 2009, making it TWO wars someone else will have to finish.James Dobson, him of the many honorary doctorates from Bible-Thumper colleges, the former child psychologist (how many decades ago?), Supreme Prelate of Colorado Springs, Founder of Focus on the Family and puppet master of Family Research Council (read: Tony Perkins) has declared war on presidential candidate Barack Obama. Why? He must have realized that the family value of homophobia was not enough to sway Christian voters in this year's elections. Attacking the Democratic nominee for president is, of course, the same as attacking the entire Democratic Party and liberals everywhere. Dobson has enjoyed the obeisance of many Republicans in the past and really does look on himself as a king-maker. His views on the Iraq war certainly helped George W. Bush in 2004. And he never, ever deviates from his original state of mind. Read this response to a disgruntled Focus fan about Dobson's view of the war:
Where the Iraqi conflict itself is concerned, Dr. Dobson wants it known that his feelings on the subject are intense and deeply held. He realizes that there are many American Christians who do not share his point of view. Nevertheless, his own position is absolutely non-negotiable. As an adherent of the classic Augustinian "just war" theory*, he is convinced that this is a case where the biblical and theological justifications for the use of force are fairly obvious. You may be right in asserting that the U.S. invasion of Iraq was not "defensive" in the strictest and most narrowly defined sense of the term. However, viewed within the larger context of the global War on Terrorism, the defensive nature of America’s pre-emptive strike against Hussein seems indisputable. Please don’t misunderstand. Dr. Dobson doesn’t like war and killing any better than you do, but he believes that this may be one of those moments in history when we are forced to settle for a trade-off: the lives of the few in exchange for the lives of the many.** This is always tragic in the extreme; and yet we must face the fact that even more deaths and greater sufferings would probably have ensued if Saddam had been allowed to pursue his mad course of oppression, aggression, and self-aggrandizement.**
Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell, leader of the largest Methodist congregation in the country, launched a website yesterday titled James Dobson Doesn't Speak For Me. This from a formerly staunch Bush supporter (and officiator at Jenna Bush's wedding) who points out that Obama is just as "family oriented" as Bush is/was and that maybe it is Dobson who is twisting Holy Scripture.
TIME has put out an article about the whole mess entitled Is Dobson's Obama Hit Backfiring?
I hope and pray it is.But remember, Obama's hit may only be a slight skirmish to Dobson who, in reality, is waging war against many people: like me and you.
* These words have a peculiar ring to them since they seem to echo Dobson's course. ( The "classic Augustinian 'just war'" theory is more classic Dobson: Augustine never really said anything about pre-emptive strikes. Dobson likes to refer to Augustine because he was the inventor of the world's greatest guilt trip: original sin. Dobson loves original sin).
** This is, of course, the time-honored argument of warring for peace, but as one wag put it: "Going to war for peace is like f*cking for virginity!" *
** Sounds more like Dobson himself. Ask anyone who has sparred with Dobson on the subject of homosexuality: oppression, aggression and self-aggrandizement become light artillary when Dobson wants to play war.
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