If Texas Secedes, It DESERVES Chuck Norris For President!

"Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."

And For Vice President...Pat Robertson!

Today we've got TWO super-duper right wingnnut stories to chew on (of course there's more, but these are the most ridiculous, so we couldn't resist!): Tea partying is old news, but the new stuff about what RESULTED from the parties is still on top; and now that the Obama administration has released DHS memos about what everyone already knew - that we stand as much chance being attacked by right wing extremists as from outside terrorists - every right wingnut is crawling out of the wood work to say "How DARE he!" That, of course, includes Pat Robertson (see video below!).

The first story shows just how desperate Republicans are getting these days. Granted, some Texans (especially the ones with roots in Crawford, Midland and even Dallas) are indelibly stupid. It may be something in the water. In the past (before Alaska) all Americans outside of Texas knew about the state was that it had bragging rights brought on by its size and its oil. Since then, it's been eclipsed by Alaska in size and by Saudi Arabia in oil production. So what does it have to brag about now? Education? (nah, it's 26th in the nation with lower than average reading scores - figures!*). The fact that Texans consume the most energy in the nation per capita? How about the fact that Texas leads the nation in executions (400 for the last 27 years)? Or possibly the most interesting fact: that Texas emits the most greenhouse gases in the US? Now Texas, it seems, is considering secession:

Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) was one of the dozens of Republican lawmakers who are addressing the anti-Obama tea parties today. He told the crowd he didn’t believe they were all “right-wing extremists,” as others had sought to portray them. “But if you are, I’m with you!” he shouted. After, he told reporters that Texas might have to secede from the union: Perry told reporters following his speech that Texans might get so frustrated with the government they would want to secede from the union.

And a pronouncement from "the poor man's Arnold Schwarzeneger" Chuck Norris:

On Glenn Beck's radio show last week, I quipped in response to our wayward federal government, "I may run for president of Texas."

That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.

Story #2 involves the DHS memos released stating what we already knew: radical right-wing terrorists are a threat to the country just as much as Al Qaeda.

This, from U.S. News & World Report in Bush's 2005:

By Danielle Knight

Posted 7/12/05

In the 10 years since the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing killed 168 people, roughly 60 right-wing terrorist plots have been uncovered in the United States, according to an upcoming report by the Southern Poverty Law Center's Intelligence Project. The plots, all foiled by law enforcement, reportedly included violent plans by antigovernment militia groups, racist skinhead organizations, and Ku Klux Klan members to use various types of chemical bombs and other weapons.

Interestingly enough, Texas has a very high per capita hate group ranking. Washington D.C., has the highest: must be all the Republican lobbyists.

There are over 965 hate groups in the country. One of them is Pat Robertson.

From Crooks and Liars:

For the past few days, the right wing has been going after a new Department of Homeland Security (DHS) report warning that “rightwing extremists…may be gaining new recruits” because of Barack Obama’s election and the “economic downtown.”

ROBERTSON: It shows somebody down in the bowels of that organization is either a convinced left winger or somebody whose sexual orientation is somewhat in question.

But it’s that kind of thing, somebody who doesn’t think that we should have abortion on demand, is labeled a terrorist! It’s outrageous!

Crooks and Liars also points out that Robertson urged his viewers to “jam up” the homeland security phone lines by calling in to complain.

Telling people to purposely obstruct the operations of DHS might be considered treason, right?

Just a thought.

Texas ranked 26 in the American Legislative Exchange Council's Report Card on American Education. Texas students ranked higher than average in mathematics, but lower in reading. Between 2005–2006, Texas spent $7,584 per pupil ranking it below the national average of $9,295. The pupil/teacher ratio was 15.0, slightly below average. Texas paid instructors $38,130, below the national average. The state provided 89.22% of the funding for education, the federal government 10.8%.