To Mike Huckabee: NICE GUYS DON'T GET LAID!

And Maybe People Shouldn't Vote for Them

Dear "Aw-Shucks" Huck:

I've just read where some people in the state of Utah don't like you (gasp!). I know that seems impossible given your image as the man everyone likes, but it's true. Read it here if you don't believe me.

It's the Mormons, the feminists and the gays, you see. They're the ones slandering you so much. Demonspawn to be sure, but if you don't watch out, others of real importance will start to question things. Things like why you still haven't met with Ryan White's mother and why you won't let people read any of your old sermons. By the way, did you really say that Mormons believe that Jesus and Satan were brothers?

Maybe you should re-strategize. Everyone was diappointed when they found out George Bush was NOT Will Rogers. (He's only been trying to channel wise old Will - unsuccessfully.) And people are starting to question the whole Southern Baptist thing. The Mormon/Utah thing really goes back to the time the SBC convention was unwisely held in Salt Lake City and some 2200 SBCers went door-to-door terrorizing (uh, sorry preaching) to Mormons that they weren't really Christians.

So, Huck, people are getting a bit suspicious. "Nice guys" and "friendly next-door-neighbor" types just aren't as popular as they once were. Politics is truly a place where nice guys finish last. They don't get laid, either.



Will Rogers, the good ole' cowboy who "never yet met a man I didn't like." The picture shows that the only hat that fit him was a Stetson.

He was popular enough for people to beg him to run for public office (governor of his native state, Oklahoma). To him, being a humorist was easy: "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." He was, however, a stalwart of FDR often saying "I don't belong to any organized party. I'm a Democrat."