Saturday, June 2, 2007

Oh! The Horror of it All!

June 1, 2007

- by Dan Vojir

Once a week, I stare in shock as people struggle against a horrible monster: knowledge. You see, (to me at least) the scariest moments on television occur during Jay Leno’s segments called “Jay Walking”. These are on-the-street interviews questioning people with such profound queries as “Who is buried in Grant’s Tomb?” And although the most astonishingly stupid answers come forth, the most frightening aspect of the show is that these people are actually walking our supposedly civilized streets as average Americans. Actually, they may all be afflicted with gnosiophobia (fear of knowledge) so I shouldn’t be too harsh.

On the other hand, there’s the new Creation Museum: I’m not afraid of the huge animatronic dinosaurs cavorting with Adam and Eve, but I am scared to death that people actually believe they did. When I first saw videos of people at the grand opening making statements like “finally, a place where we can come to show our children what really happened in creation” I had the same sense of horror as when I see someone at the supermarket buying a copy of Weekly World News because, you see, they believe that the front page photo really IS Bigfoot’s baby!

Ninety-five percent of today’s evangelical Christians are Bible illiterates: they can’t tell you how the Bible was written much less relate who Athanasius* was. I’ll bet that very few people at the opening of the Museum could cite all Ten Commandments.

Imagine: 4000 people in one place who insist that the earth is only 6,000 years old, that the Grand Canyon was formed by Noah’s Flood and that Adam and Eve, along with Pebbles and Bam Bam rode on the back of Dino for fun. I’m getting chills just thinking about it.

An article by Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins crowed about a Gallup Poll stating that 31% of the Americans believe the Bible to be literally true – word for word. Fortunately, the poll also indicated that the higher the level of education, the smaller the percentage. Perkins forgot to mention that. Still, the level of ignorance in America is at an all time high.** Our schools no longer graduate future scientists or anthropologists; instead, they graduate biblical literalists who eschew history and politicians who promise to keep America Christian. And America stands proudly in its ignorance: the Creation Museum showed the world how reverently we treat such grandiose stupidity. Other less Christian countries are already talking about our new “Yabba Dabba” science. This means that in a few years, Ecuador may be ahead of us in medical breakthroughs.

Are you scared yet?

I am. I’m frightened beyond belief.

*Saint and Early Christian Church Father (d. 373) who dictated which books of the Bible were Scripture. He was also (allegedly) head of an ”ecclesiastical mafia” which violently enforced his ideologies.

**State senators in Texas and Georgia have actually tried to stop schools teaching that the earth rotates. They based their beliefs on one very “scientific” website: