Wednesday, November 26, 2008

He's Baaaack! Sort Of...

If he preaches again, just what will he preach?


“You could make a career out of your reformed fallen Christian life,” said David Edward Harrell, a retired Auburn University history professor who studies charismatic and Pentecostal Christianity. “What you can’t do is go back and do the same thing. Once you’ve lost that clientele, it’s lost.”

Yeah, Ted's back. He's repented. His church didn't understand him. They didn't use his scandal to promote Christianity enough.

Huh? What was that last one?

O.K., let's back up. Let's look at professor Harrell's statement: "...Once you've lost that clientele, it's lost." I have a problem with the word "clientele." That makes Ted's former "flock" sound more like Mike Jones' johns. Then again, think about this little slip: Haggard probably looked at them the same way as well. They were money and power - not flesh, bone and soul.

(from Alan Colmes' blog, Liberaland):

In the sermons, Haggard said a co-worker of his father molested him when he was 7, an experience that “started to produce fruit” when he turned 50. Haggard said something “started to rage in my mind and in my heart.” Haggard said though some allegations were exaggerated, “I really did sin.”

He apologized for making his family suffer, acknowledged suicidal thoughts and chastised church leaders for missing an opportunity to use his scandal to “communicate the gospel worldwide.” Haggard said he emerged with a stronger Christian faith and marriage than he’d ever had.

"Started to produce fruit." Is Haggard doing stand-up now? I hope not. We may be able to laugh AT him both not WITH him. And using the scandal to "communicate the gospel"??? WTF?

"Lord I have sinned, see how a lowly closeted homosexual can be debased and debauched without Your grace!" Former homosexual pastor worldwide tours have waned a bit, Ted.

Fortunately, Ted's former megachurch New Life and it's "clientele" don't look like their going to accept him if he tries to move back:

"Evangelicals believe God can change hearts, yet Haggard also must be held accountable and should not return to ministry early, if ever," said David Neff, editor of Christianity Today magazine.

“It’s sort of like the mouse in the corner,” said church elder Paul Ballantyne. “If he wants to squeak, he can squeak. But I don’t think it’s going to affect New Life.”

Poor Ted, reduced to a squeaking mouse! On the other hand, if his church "clientele" ever does take him back, then we should be afraid. Be very afraid.

Just a thought.

Way To Go!: We Spew The Most Bullets AND Have The Most Guns!!

So What The Hell Is The NRA Crabbing About?

We've already posted about the surge in gun sales because right-wingers think that Barack Obama is going to shut down all the gunshops in the country. The NRA was ecstatic about Sarah Palin's being a lifetime member. They are currently fuming that there is a gun-related question on the Obama administration's employment questionaire. They have frightened anyone with a sense of self-protection that liberalism would eradicate the Second Amendment.

Statistics (ah, those little numbers that prove so many things right or wrong) show, however, that the U.S. public is the most armed in the world!

From USA Today:

The top five: US at 89 small arms per 100 people, Yemen at 55 , Switzerland at 46 , Finland at 45 and Serbia at 38 .

And the ones who scream "NO GUN CONTROL!!" the loudest may have the most guns:
Almost half (48%) of all individual gun owners, corresponding to 13% of the US adult population, reported owning >4 firearms. Household ownership followed a similar pattern, with 41% of firearm-owning households reporting ownership of >4 firearms (table 2). The 20% of gun owners who owned the most guns possessed about 65% of the nation’s guns.
Oh, get this: for the reason of owning guns, 46% self-defense, 25% for sport shooting or collecting. (Riiight!) There are "gun collectors" then there are "stockpilers" who own enough guns for a small army. And the results of the 2004 survey (the most extensive) do not count semi-automatic rifles or guns like AK-47s. Most of those are out on the street and owned by drug dealers and gang members. Most gun surveys lament the transparency of our system that allows hoarding all sorts of guns legally or illegally. The actual total of guns owned (legally) by individuals is estimated to be in between 238 million and 276 million. Since this is based on an a 4-year old survey, we can safely assume that there is more than one gun person in the United States.

So the question: with all of those guns out there, who's more vulnerable - liberals or the NRA?

Just a thought.

At Last! Some Respite From The Coultergeist!

But to Get It, We Had To Have Her Jaw Wired Shut!

Of course, she didn't actually agree to it. She had an accident of sorts (a fall, but don't know exactly where from - reason, perhaps?). Reminds me of the old saying about Ethel Merman: "When she dies, we'll still have to shoot her mouth!"

After she had the fall (no, we won't put that in " "), her sustained injuries required that her jaw be shut during the healing process. Unfortunately, her fingers are still working, so she will probably be back at her column blaming her broken jaw on Barack Obama (or as she calls him, B. Hussein Obama - Ann, that's tired; we're bored with it!).

She also has a new book coming out: Guilty! Hmmm. She's known for getting as much publicity as she can for every new book, but isn't having your jaw wired shut going too far (and a bit counter-productive for personal appearances?)

Well, it's only for about two weeks. In spite of it all, she may still be on some talk shows - I heard she's been practicing ventriloquism!

Now wait a minute: idea! New book. New look? Ten years younger? It's possible. Notice that she always appears on shows in tighter skirts - and an even tighter face! Could be!

Just a thought.

Originally uploaded by the_real_cjs