Monday, September 3, 2007

LARRY CRAIG - How will he rate on the (new, improved and extended) Scandal Scoreboard?

Way To Go Mr. Potato Head!
But You Don’t Get Into The Hypocrisy Hall of Fame (yet)

Senator Larry Craig’s shenanigans in a Minneapolis airport are helping to continue his party’s time-honored tradition of hypocrisy. His voters must be sooo proud of him. We must all remember just how difficult it is to maintain family values while cruising public restrooms. The Republican constituency of Idaho will obviously erect a statue in his honor in Boise: “He kept our families safe from people like…him.” On the scandal scoreboard, Craig gets a whopping 10 points!

Some esteemed members of the HHF:

Paul Crouch, Trinity Broadcasting Network – gay sex scandal brought out of the closet by a lover employed at TBN.
Jimmy Swaggart of “I have sinned” fame was enshrined in the HHF by virtue of his winning the Best Actor Award.
Jim Bakker – you name it, he did it – an all around HHF athelete!
Ted Haggard – has his own separate exhibit, complete with erotic photos of the hulking Mike Jones and the bag of meth.

But does Senator Craig have the stamina to be included in the HHF? The competition these days is (pardon the expression) stiff: take a look at some of the ones competing for the Hypocrisy Hall of Fame:

January 3, 2006

Reverend Dr Lonnie Latham was arrested and booked into the Oklahoma County Jail by members of the Oklahoma County Sheriff's Office. The misdemeanor charge was that of "Offering to Engage In An Act of Lewdness," a charge carrying penalties of up to a year in jail and a US$2,500 fine. Reports sourced to a police department spokesman said that he had propositioned a plainclothes police officer for oral sex in an area of the community which had been the subject of public complaints of cruising related to male prostitution.
"I was involved in a prayer ministry in that area, and I had a dialogue with police," he said, according to the website of the Daily Oklahoman newspaper. "The officer made many suggestions."

What's the name of that ministry, Lonnie? Restroom Revelations? 12 points!
October 6, 2006
Congressman Foley’s e-mails made public.

Mark Foley, a six-term Republican congressman from Florida, championed the protection of children from sexual predators. Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, he often spoke out about the need to catch pedophiles. In July, he attended a signing ceremony at the White House for the Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006. "We track library books better than we do sexual predators," he had argued in support of the bill.
Apparently we DO track sexual predators fairly well, Mark. It may take us some time when they have an ”Rep.” Or a “Sen.” In front of their names, but we can smell ‘em. 10 points, Mark.
Aug. 23, 2007

The preacher husband of televangelist, Juanita Bynum, who has won a national following with sermons about women's empowerment will be charged with aggravated assault and terroristic threats following a confrontation in which he left her badly bruised, Atlanta police said.

A televangelist with sermons on women’s empowerment being strangled by her preacher husband? This “inspiration” for women is definitely “inspired” when it comes to hypocrisy. Way to go, Juanita!! 15 Points!!
July 10, 2007
Senator David Vitter (Republican, LA)
“His brand is Southern social conservative, a defender of family values, morality and faith who once said no issue was more important than protecting the sanctity of marriage.”
So who knew? Apparently a lot of people in both Washington and Louisiana. But since you’re only on several lists of madams, your accomplishments are quite common. Only 5 points. Great hypocrite, but not very imaginative.
July 11, 2007
Orlando Sentinel: Republican Rep. Bob Allen of Merritt Island, whose district includes a large swath of east Orange County, was arrested for soliciting a male undercover police officer for sex in a Titusville park restroom.

In the taped statement that was tossed out Monday, Allen said he was just playing along because he was intimidated by the undercover officer, who he described as a "stocky black guy," and that he thought he was going to be robbed.House Speaker Marco Rubio stripped Allen of his legislative committee appointments, saying he could "no longer effectively serve the people" of his district. Police also said Allen indicated he had $800 in his car.
So, while denying he’s a “john”, the revered lawmaker made himself guilty of racial profiling. And, believe it or not, it only gets better:

Hours after state Rep. Bob Allen was unceremoniously stripped of his legislative-committee appointments Wednesday, he said he is perhaps "the most misunderstood guy on Earth."In the weeks since his arrest July 11 on a charge that he offered to perform oral sex on an undercover police officer and pay him $20, he has made comments that offended two of Florida's largest minority groups -- Hispanics and blacks.On Wednesday, he told newspapers he felt he was being considered guilty even before his first court date -- as would happen in a totalitarian government such as Cuba. Allen, R-Merritt Island, spent part of the day explaining he wasn't comparing House Speaker Marco Rubio, who made the committee assignments and is Cuban-American, to Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.
O.K., Bob, YOU WIN!! How many guys can manage all of that hypocrisy from sitting on the john waiting for a “john”? 20 points!! The Republicans in Orlando are truly blessed! The Hypocrisy Hall of Fame now has a brand new resident!

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