Thursday, April 28, 2011

Birthers DEMAND That Obama Birth Certificate Be A Forgery - For The Economic And Political Good Of The Nation!

Disclosure Of Obama Birth Certificate Puts MILLIONS Out Of Work!! Breadlines Begin To Sprout Up!

With the disclosure of President Barack Obama's birth certificate, the REAL conspiracy has come out: create a booming industry of Birthism, then when it's at its height and Presidential candidates attach their stars to the movement, pull the rug out from underneath it all! Ingenious! The stock market will collapse! Birther leaders will be raining onto city pavements! Donald Trump's three hairs will fall out!

OK, so none of that has happened, but give Birthers some credit: they've created a unique industry based on one conspiracy theory and now they have nothing.

Well, almost nothing. Spin doctors and conspiracy-hungry Right Wingnuts are hard at work trying to mold the news into something sustainable or coming up with new theories. From the Washington Post, and Talking Points Memo (Best of the Birthers) we can see Birthers scrambling as if to stabilize themselves after an earthquake:

Orly Taiz - "Queen of the Birthers." She still thinks there's something fishy about the long form because Obama didn't show it until now. She also thinks it might be fake because it stated "African" rather than "Negro" on the long form. She thanked Donald Trump for "forcing the President's hand."

Donald Trump - real estate mogul and reality TV star. He agrees with Orly: he now thinks he has power over Obama. However, on George Stephanopoulos' program last week he said that he's proud of his company and would welcome full disclosure:
TRUMP: I have a great company, I’ve done a great job which I’ve run you’ll see what a great job because I’ll do a full disclosure of finances. STEPHANOPOULOS: Including tax returns? TRUMP: Maybe I’ll do the tax returns when Obama does his birth certificate. 
We're waiting.
Sean Hannity - FOX News pundit, major shill for the Republican Party and "journalist" responsible for "Dijon-Gate". Hannity has stated that he was "birther curious." However, Hannity and FOX kept the birther movement alive by airing it in at least 52 different segments.
Joseph Farah - founder and chief editor of World Net Daily (Or Wing Nut Daily, whichever you prefer)
It would be a big mistake for everyone to jump to a conclusion now based on the release of this document, which raises as many questions than it answers.”
Farah also offers a new spin on the Birther movement and citizenship:
“Now we can have an intelligent discussion about what it means to be a natural born citizen,” Farah said, suggesting in what direction conservatives will now push the issue. “If your father is Kenyan, how are you an American citizen? If your adopted step-father was Indonesian, how are you an American citizen? At best you are a dual-citizen.”
Next up: who was your great, geat grandfather?
Michele Bachmann - Presidential hopeful, House Representative from Minnesota, nicknamed "crazy eyes" by Joe Jervis (Joe.My.God). Bachmann fueled the Birther movement, but sidestepped the issue directly. After all, she doesn't need Birthers, since she's dreamt up some theories of her own: Obama's $900 million-dollar-a-day trip to India, the intrusive and secretive 2010 Census, etc.

Phil Berg - attorney who filed first lawsuit claiming Obama was not a U.S. Citizen. Now he says that the birth certificate is not that important:
Obama may have been born in Hawaii, Berg says, but he renounced his American citizenship when he was adopted by his stepfather Lolo Soetoro while living in Indonesia. Berg claims Obama's Indonesian school records list him as an Islamic Indonesian named Barry Soetoro.

Jerome Corsi - author of new book, Where's the Birth Certificate? Although it hasn't been published yet, the book hit #1 on Amazon. Joseph Farah is publishing the book and plans to go ahead - with no updates or re-edits. Sales should go through the roof - as a "period piece."

Rush Limbaugh - The Bloviator. Even though he fanned the flames of Birtherism, he now claims that HE WARNED PEOPLE that the birth certificate issue was a "dead end" (listen below)

Amidst all the chaos, other Birthers: Matt Drudge (Drudge Report), Chuck Norris, Arizona State Rep. Carl Seel (introduced Birther law) ands Alan Keyes (perennial president candidate).

So now we have a lot of fools who are busy trying not to look like fools. Isn't American politics entertaining as hell?
“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.”
                                           - Mark Twain