The Clowns Of September: Bachmann, Boykin, Schlafly, Beck....and MORE!!

But How Are We Going To Stuff Them Back Into
That Itty Bitty Car?
(And Push The Car Into That Great Big Ocean?)

O.K., I'll admit that I went a bit overboard for this piece, but consider the subject: all the conservative politicians, pundits, "journalists," lobbyists, birthers, tenthers, christofascists, are exposing themselves to other birthers, tenthers, pundits, etc. In other words, this September will go down in history as the funniest one in history. It will also be history's most outrageous, silliest, campiest, and yes, dumbest September. Remember, it started out with a thoughtful President's address to school children everywhere turning into an "indoctrination" moment.

And it's gaining lot of steam with people like Glenn Beck, Michele Bachmann, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh spewing out very skewed facts and outright fantasies in order to show America how wrong it was to elect Barack Obama. No topic will go uncovered. No bizarre event will be unnoticed. Health Care, abortion, gay marriage, the stimulous package will become wild beatss in the arena to tame. It certainly will be a three-ring circus when conservative clowns get together!

The following three-minute video is one I put together to get everyone into the Washington Circus mood. Hope you like it.

From: The Minnesota Independent:

"...she’ll [Bachamann] have plenty of competition for those headlines. Speaking at the “How to Take Back America” conference later this month, she’ll be sharing the stage with a pastor who says conference attendees will be trained to “turn out the infidels”; a radio host who doubts President Obama is a U.S. citizen; and a columnist who opposes statehood for Puerto Rico because he says it’s a “Caribbean dogpatch.”

At the incredibly inane Take Back America conference these topics will be "discussed":

How to counter the homosexual extremist movement
How to deal with global warming, cap and trade
How to stop the entry of illegal aliens and drugs
How to stop government attacks on parents’ rights
How to deal with supremacist judges
How to stop socialism in health care
How to defeat attacks on sovereignty by UN treaties
How to activate your church
How to deal with vote fraud, the Census, and ACORN
How to defend America vs. missile attack
How to lobby legislators
How to bring youth into the conservative movement
How to understand Islam
How to defend traditional marriage and DOMA
How to recognize living under Nazis & Communists
How to stop feminist and gay attacks on the military

Of course, there's the absolute Bastion of Baffoonery: The Values Voter Summit. (Sept 17-20) This always acts as a kind of Court of Fools with King Tony Perkins, Queen Phyllis Schlafly, Princes Gary Bauer and Lou Dobbs in attendence. If you look real hard, you can probably find some boxes of Obama's Waffles stashed away from last year. This year, the spotlight will be on the venerable Bill O'Reilly and the very, very old Phyllis Schlafly.

From FOX Business:

For being a voice of virtue in a culture of death, FRC Action will honor him with the first ever Media Courage Award. In the face of intense pressure, Bill O'Reilly has stood for truth during a tumultuous time in the pro-life debate. Despite a firestorm of unfair allegations, he has defended his position against late-term abortions and brought new light to a gruesome procedure. He has used a national platform to promote the dignity of life - no matter what the personal or professional risk.

And from the program:

FAITH, FAMILY & FREEDOM GALA DINNER HONORING PHYLLIS SCHLAFLY WITH THE JAMES C. DOBSON VISION & LEADERSHIP AWARD (black-tie optional) - Regency Ballroom

FRC's fear-mongering subjects include:

• SPEECHLESS - SILENCING THE CHRISTIANS
• THUGOCRACY - FIGHTING THE VAST LEFT WING CONSPIRACY
• DEFUNDING PLANNED PARENTHOOD
• ACTIVISM AND CONSERVATISM: FIT TO A TEA (PARTY)
• THE THREAT OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION
• OBAMACARE: RATIONING YOUR LIFE AWAY
• MARRIAGE: WHY IT'S WORTH DEFENDING AND HOW REDEFINING IT THREATENS RELIGIOUS LIBERTY
• THE NEW MASCULINITY
• WAIT NO MORE: FINDING FAMILIES FOR WAITING KIDS
• TURNING THE TIDE IN YOUR GENERATION

I can't wait to read the transcript for "The New Masculinity" as well as "Thugocracy" and "Speechless."

Seriously: let's hope that progressives around the country print all the transcripts of both "summits," inundate FactCheck.org, slather the web with translations and watch Killer Clowns From Out Space as a fearful warning.