Abstinence Only = Clowning Around And Saddlebacking

Keith Deltano is a moralizing moron. His work consists of denigrating women, stereotyping young men as "breadwinners," giving out misinformation, and screaming at teenagers about their responsibilities.

Keith Deltano is an "abstinence only" comedian. And he's hired by educators to poke fun at the one thing every teenager looks forward to: sex. Those educators sure know what they're doing! Or not doing: sex education classes are out. After all, why have a full class about sex when you can have a visiting clown stop kids from having sex altogether?

And the problem?

If you're going to tell teenagers to abstain from anything, you'd better have something to take it's place! Basket weaving? Painting on black velvet? Stamp collecting? Sorry, but absolutely NOTHING TOPS SEX!

So in the absence of sex, what do teenagers do?

They saddleback* of course! And they experiment with all other kinds of sex.

Journal of Adolescent Health:

Although teenagers who take "virginity pledges" begin engaging in vaginal intercourse later than teens who have not committed to remain abstinent until marriage, they also are more likely to engage in oral or anal sex than nonpledging virgin teens and less likely to use condoms once they become sexually active.

The sad story is that kids who are trying to preserve their technical virginity are, in some cases, engaging in much riskier behavior," Bearman** said, adding, "From a public health point of view, an abstinence movement that encourages no vaginal sex may inadvertently encourage other forms of alternative sex that are at higher risk of STDs.

Every sex study since the beginning of time has proven that "abstinence only" doesn't work. And don't tell us that it worked for monks.

It didn't.

Witness the stupidity:

* The neologism saddlebacking is in reference to Rick Warren's role as pastor of Saddleback Church.

**Study co-authors Peter Bearman, sociology department chair at Columbia University, and Hannah Bruckner of Yale University used data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, which is funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development and CDC, the AP/Long Island Newsday reports.