Why Can't Ann Coulter Be More Like Lauren Bacall?

(They are the same age, aren't they?)

This blog post is going to be a two-parter

Part I:

February 27 celebrates the 86th year of women's suffrage in America

It also celebrates the birthday of one of the most indomitable women of our time: Elizabeth Taylor (O.K., she's a little bit older than Coultergeist, but in comparison, she's ageless, whereas Coulter...)

So, it's fitting that we celebrate Great American Women by featuring some Great American Film Actresses.

As a parting note on Ann Coulter, she has stated numerous times that women should never have gotten the vote. Those statements along with the one about Joe McCarthy being a great American Patriot rank among the most anti-American in history:

"Everything you think you know about McCarthy is a hegemonic lie. Liberals denounced McCarthy because they were afraid of getting caught, so they fought back like animals to hide their own collaboration with a regime as evil as the Nazis."

One actress who managed to go toe-to-toe with McCarthy (and, by extension, Ann Coulter) was Lauren Bacall. Once, Larry King asked about her politics:

Bacall: "I'm a total Democrat. I'm anti-Republican. And it's only fair that you know it."

King: "Wait a minute. Are you a liberal?"

Bacall: "I'm a liberal. The L word!"

This video is one of the most amazing pieces of photo editing I have ever encountered! It's
by Philip Scott Johnson and has garnered over 2 million fans! Yes, you may have seen it before, but I know you won't mind seeing it again, even for the umpteenth time!

The complete list of these actresses will be posted tomorrow. Try to name them all - in order - and no cheating!

I hope you don't mind me ending this gushing post with a bit more gushing about my own star: my mother. She was fearless, pro-family and pro-choice. The only televangelist she ever knew was Bishop Fulton J. Sheeen. She respected him a lot, but never paid heed to his requests for donations ("He gets paid pretty well with the way he lives!") Her birthday was Feb. 17th and if she had lived, she would have been 92. Happy belated birthday, mom!

Evelyn Mrazek Vojir

Feb. 17, 1916 - Jan. 21, 1989

Colts, Fillies and Televangelisti Horses' Asses

Yep, they're still out there, folks!

Back in 1838, when Sam Colt thought of a filly, he probably thought of riding a young horse out in the fields shooting at rabbits or buffalo with his new revolver. Over 150 years later, when Jimmy Swaggart thought of a filly, he thought of shooting something else. Enter prostitute Debra Murphree. Oh, he cried and cried and cried in front of his congregation, but the defrocked him anyway.

All hail to leftist-commie-pinko wikipedia.com for these other juicy bits of information (ah sorry, I mean propaganda):

On February 21, 1988, without giving the details of his transgressions, Swaggart tearfully spoke to his family, congregation, and audience, saying, "I have sinned against you, my Lord, and I would ask that your precious blood would wash and cleanse every stain until it is in the seas of God's forgiveness." (On a New Orleans morning news show four days later, Murphree stated that while Swaggart was a regular customer, they had never engaged in intercourse.)*

Against the ruling of the governing body of the Assemblies of God, Swaggart returned to his television pulpit long before his three-month suspension expired. He stated, "If I do not return to the pulpit this weekend, millions of people will go to hell." Believing that Swaggart was not genuinely repentant in not submitting to their authority, the Assemblies of God immediately defrocked Swaggart, removing his credentials and ministerial license.

Hypocrisy still pays good dividends:

Jimmy may have come down in the evangelical world, but he's definitely not out: at the age of 72, he heads Jimmy Swaggart Ministries and hosts tv and radio programs heard in 22 states (the irrepressibly red ones).

Watch the video below where said he would kill any homosexual he met. (Did he ever meet Ted Haggard?). See if there's anyone you know in the background. Is there anyone you'd LIKE to know?

He later credited his comment as a joke, but remember what we said about the Elmer Gantrys and the Elmer Fudds of this world: "Yes, we can all laugh with Bugs about how stupid Elmer Fudd is, but until he takes that gun (and that hatred) away from Fudd, someone's going to die."



*Shades of Ted Haggard: "I only got a massage"

Funny, It Doesn't Taste Like Ken Copeland!

What Has Been the World's Greatest Source of Spam?

If you take into account all of the propaganda created by religion in the forms of tracts and apologetics, not to mention requests for donations and fliers for the choir's bake sale, the Bible is history's greatest source of spam. When the great tsumani hit Indonesia and India, Jerry Falwell had 600,000 Christian tracts printed up to accompany the care packages - to Muslims and Hindus. Now THAT'S spamming - and, insulting. But come to think of it, isn't ALL spam insulting? Doesn't spamming assume that you're deficient in some way? That you're gullible? That you're too lazy to find out things by yourself? That the spammer knows something you don't? The Bible thumper on the street assumes that everyone who passes by is a sinner because, well, he's a sinner. He's spamming you without your consent. He's creating noise that does nothing but overload your senses.

The average cable television viewer sorts through channels and programs like so much junk mail. Only some of them are looking for Pat Robertson's 700 Club. Proselytizing has become a mind-numbing assault - an assault on the senses and (as Al Gore would put it) an assault on reason. Television "spam guards" would sell like hotcakes. Sure, your fingers on the remote
act as a kind of censorship but you can't actually erase that televangelist. Even while watching "The Discovery Channel, you KNOW he's there waiting for you to tell you how much you need God - and him. And just what he really thinks of you, well, you just don't want to know. These people are all filled with "The Holy Spirit" and to a televangelist you're just another one of them (with money to donate of course):

WARNING: watching this video may not make you lose faith in God, but it might make you lose faith in the sanity of mankind.

Special to Fundamentalists: There IS a Difference Between The New Yorker and The Communist Manifesto

Aaaah...Is there a resemblance?

Today, February 21st, marks the publishing of the Christian Right's two most hated publications:

The Communist Manifesto (1848) and The New Yorker (1925).*

Neither of them are displayed on the coffee tables of double-wides.

Why are so many Christo-Fascists afraid of people who think? As the erstwhile King of Siam would have said "Tis a puzzlement!"

*The New York Times is in a different league altogether: it's Demonspawn!

Campaigns Go Postal!

How Green Is Your Candidate?

According to 50 Simple Things You Can Do To Save The Earth:

1. Each year, 100 million trees are used to produce junk mail.

2. 250,000 homes could be heated with one day's supply of junk mail.

3. Americans receive almost 4 million tons of junk mail every year.

4. The yearly production and disposal of junk mail consumes more energy than 2.8 million cars.

It's almost impossible to guess just how much mail this campaign is costing the planet. Yes, there will be political spam and recorded messages with the candidates' voices, but the amount of paper consumed and postage spent will likely brake records.

The nation's Post Office Department was created exactly 216 years ago.* Will it be up to the task of sorting out all the mail from John McCain, Barack Obama, as well as all the peripheral material the campaign will generate? I've just gotten (by their mistake, I assure you) a '08 Values Voter National Survey from the Family Research Council along with an official super-duper FRC Action Membership Card (I would have preferred a decoder ring). The whole package weighed in at 6 oz. and even with Tony Perkins' non-profit status it must have cost $millions to produce. All of it to help you to vote against something (same-sex marriage and hate crime laws top the bill).

Between now and November, the postal service will probably experience the workload of ten Christmas seasons. The ubiqiutous eagle might start looking like this:

*Other little-known facts about our beloved Post Office:

The USPS employs more mentally ill people than any company in the United States except Wal-Mart. It employed 790,000 personnel in 2003, dividing the number into offices, processing centers, and actual post offices. Most USPS employees are divided into two categories:

Mail handlers and processors often work in the evening and night to prepare junk mail and bulk goods for the carriers to deliver. Work is physically strenuous, especially for mail handlers; many mailbags loaded from and onto trucks weigh as much as 70 pounds (32 kg).

Letter Carriers, also referred to as mailmen or mail-carriers; are the public face of the USPS. As the front line, carriers are routinely pressured to move faster, work harder, and perform more tasks in a timed manner. The most stressful of crafts, carriers are watched, timed and inspected more than any other employees.

Happy Japanese Internment Day! (AKA Michelle Malkin Day)

FEMA Couldn't Have Done It better!

Oh, those were the days back in 1942 when it took only three days to sell your house! Of course, you had to be Japanese and you had to sell it for pennies along with all your other property because people thought you "might" be a threat to national security.


On February 19, 1942, President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, an event that spurred one of America's darkest and most anti-American hours: the internment of thousands of Japanese-Americans. 110,000 men, women and children were sent to hastily-built "relocation centers." Numbers later revealed that 65% of those who were forcibly relocated were American citizens.

Living conditions in the camps were anything but stellar:

According to a 1943 War Relocation Authority report, internees were housed in "far paper-covered barracks of simple frame construction without plumbing or cooking facilities of any kind." The spartan facilities met international laws, but still left much to be desired. Many camps were built quickly by civilian contractors during the summer of 1942 based on designs for military barracks, making the buildings poorly equipped for cramped family living. In other areas, the internees had to build the barracks-like structures themselves.*

The Ann Coulter Wannabe, Michelle Malkin (nee Maglalang - ironically a daughter of Filipino immigrants) wrote a book entitled: In Defense of Internment: The Case for 'Racial Profiling' in World War II and the War on Terror. Today must be her "holy day".

I haven't been able to read it yet, but I'll cite an Amazon reviewer:

"This book is a thinly veiled attempt to put President Bush's own internment camps into historical perspective. However all this book does is showcase the authors own ingnorance of history, miltary strategy and logistics. No credible military historian or anyone else with a passing knowlege of military tactics would ever try to justify what Roosevelt did to these loyal American citizens. .. Malkin who based on her editorial columns, is an unabashed defender of George W. Bush and the security state seems to have another goal here. I think the entire purpose of this book is to try to convince people that the governments current internment camps are as necessary as the ones previously used to imprison American citizens of the wrong color in WWII. In that point I am in 100% agreement. This book isn't politically incorrect. It's just idiotic.


Malkin's conservative ideology seems to have a slightly hypocritical bent: like her compatriot, Ann Coulter, she uses gender equality advances to persue her ultra-conservative goals (she probably never watches Pat Robertson's "700 Club"). As of 2004, her husband Jesse Malkin, a Rhodes Scholar and former economist for the RAND Corporation, stays home and raises the two Malkin children.



In other words, Michelle keeps him in internment.

Why, she doesn't look Asian at all!

*This is, of course, a quote from the ultra-liberal Wikipedia:

What Went Wong?

This Country Was Sailing Along Beautifully,

Then suddenly, and without warning, we mistakenly elected:

THE CLOWN

(Pictured giving his infamous "One Fingered Victory" Speech)

*Warning: watching this video may turn you into a Liberal and may cause occasional bouts of thinking, sanity, compassion, and other serious side effects.