Holy State-Of-The-Ark Politics! $50 Million In Tax Dollars Go To Replicate Noah's Compulsive Hoarding!

Gopher Wood is EXPEN$IVE! 

Uh, what the hell IS gopher wood?

"Make thee an ark of gopher wood;rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. And this is the fashion which thou shalt make of it: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breath of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits. A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt be set into the side thereof; with lower, second and third stories shalt thou make it."

That's it folks. Everything else is pure imagination and speculation. The ark was a friggin' box 450' long, 75' wide and 45' tall made out of wood that's never mentioned again in the Bible and certainly doesn't exist today. It had one lousy window about 45" square and one side door (size? who knows?). 

So the chubby boat with the house on top is really pure fiction, based upon drawings and etchings like that of Gustave Dore' (see below)

Americans United for Separation of Church and State are protesting the plan to provide $11M in Kentucky state road improvements to support the Christian theme park where the centerpiece attraction is an alleged replica of Noah's Ark.

Added to that $11M are $40M in sales rebates!

The rationale behind all of this is that the Ark Park will bring in a great deal of traffic ... and revenue to the area. Makes you wonder, though, if the same consideration would be given to a Buddhist Theme Park with a 200 foot statue of Buddha. 

The Creation Museum

All rationales aside, the Creation Museum from which the Ark Park is a spin-off has had a healthy one million visitors since its construction in May, 2007. The $27 million enterprise was immediately blasted as "a monument to scientific illiteracy" by scientists, and the sight of dinosaurs romping with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden gave vent to the term, "Yabba Dabba science." Case Western Reserve's eminent astro-physicist, Lawrence Krauss formed a protest of some 600 scientists (see below). Of course Ken Ham, founder of Answers in Genesis, the Museum's parent organization came back with the zinger "Lawrence Krauss Blasphemes Our Lord."

The there's the juicy problem the Creation Museum had with Adam:

The evangelicals behind the just-opened Creation Museum are up-in-arms upon discovering that they hired a Sirfuxalot Model (Eric Linden) to portray Adam in one of the videos they've been showing to children. Additionally, the AP reports that Linden also owns the domain Bedroom Acrobat, a sexually suggestive site where he has appeared posing with a transvestite.

And science  has not let up on the simple fact that the Creation Museum plays fast and lose with it (science). One glaring point: the museum posits that all dinosaurs were vegetarians and some turned to being meat eaters after "The Fall." What about T-Rex and his huge teeth? Simple: all the better to eat coconuts with. PZ Meyers had this to say about the handling of dissent at the museum:

At the Creation "Museum", one of the jobs of the guards is to suppress criticism. They hover about in rather conspicuous uniforms, armed with tasers, and some use police dogs to check out the visitors. They don't want dissent expressed in their building, and they admit it themselves.

Cuts to Education But $43 million to Noah's Ark

While Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear handed in a state budget that cut 6% from education, he steadfastly included a $43 million tax rebate to the Ark.  Beshear, a Democrat (!) sees the venue as a money-maker for Kentucky, while it's creator Ken Ham (of AiG) is unabashedly Evangelical:

“When people say the money donated for the full-size Noah’s Ark should be spent instead on feeding the poor or giving to another cause, they are essentially arguing that no money should be given to building the Ark Encounter. Yet consider the words of the Great Commission given by Jesus Christ.” The “Great Commission” refers to Jesus’ calling of his disciples to spread their beliefs throughout the world.

So the Ark Encounter IS FOR PROSELYTIZING. And woe betide anyone who thinks differently:

PZ Meyers:At the Creation "Museum", one of the jobs of the guards is to suppress criticism. They hover about in rather conspicuous uniforms, armed with tasers, and some use police dogs to check out the visitors. They don't want dissent expressed in their building, and they admit it themselves.
A Big Joke

It never ceases to amaze the rest of the world how American, Right-wing Christianity continues to embarrass the rest of us. True, it has made its forays of bigotry and stupidity into parts of the world yearning to join the 21st century (think Uganda)* but the clowns of God (leaders) keep pummeling us with a maniacal ferocity of all things unreasonable and inane. Speculation about the Ark Park should produce some very outlandish, very comic questions, e.g. will the Ark feature all the animals? Will it have room for waste (or was Noah the world's grand scale polluter)? What languages will be confounded at the Tower Of Babel? Yiddish? 

Perhaps the Kentucky legislature is playing an enormous joke on its taxpayers by sanctioning another enormous joke: the Ark Park will ultimately cost $172 million and Ken Ham will continue to thumb his nose at the poor.

*Pat Robertson is still fighting to get a Christian theme park in the Holy Land.

America As A Hostage To Stupidity

                          

If one thing came out of the Quran-burning threat of "Pastor" Terry Jones, it's that America looked the fool for kowtowing to the machinations of an ignorant snake oil salesman. Some people might say that the media is to blame, but in this case, demonizing the messenger comes a little too late: the warning was announced months ago and very few paid attention. It was General Petraeus' outspoken concern that made the eyes of America focus on Jones. Then Terry Jones made his mark, not caring about American troops in Afghanistan, nor condemnation by his "peers" nor even about any spiritual message he so disingenuously (and quite ineptly) conveyed. By Sept. 7th, it was all done. He was in the history books; and since thousands of people had actually given their support, (in the form of  Qurans to burn) he knew he'd garnered more followers than he'd ever dreamed of. Terry Jones realized power, the kind of power he'd craved all his life. The entire United States of America was BEGGING him not to do something, and he so kindly acquiesced to its entreaties, but only after it acquiesced to his demands. For several days, he had soldiers' lives in his hands. The power boggles the mind.

Perhaps it's the combination of media and "God God God" "Bible Bible Bible" "Send Money" that is irresistible to American Christians. Perhaps it's the "Rev." or "Dr." that Jones put in front of his name (the latter just now being investigated both here and abroad). Maybe it was Jones' charisma (albeit a bit dull to those having an I.Q. above that of a dead flashlight battery) Or maybe, just maybe, it's that Jones had provided a form of entertainment to his little "flock" and to the rest of the nation. After all, America's foremost God-given birthright is ... to be entertained. Jones' escapade gave the public the same kind of thrill as would the latest Armageddon flick. He had all of us looking at our calendars and ticking off the hours.

Yet Terry Jones must have done something right. After all, his mentor, Fred Phelps, has been apoplectic ever since his acolyte received the kind of attention deemed only for his holiness, the God-Hates-Fags Phenomenon. You could say that to cause riots in the streets of foreign countries takes a certain savoir faire. And if Fred Phelps lacks anything, it's savoir faire. By playing for time, Jones had accomplished some bloodshed BEFORE he made his off-again-on-again pronouncements: dozens of people had been hurt in the ensuing riots. Of course, he prayed for them all to be healed, such is the way of the charismatic form of religion.

As anti-heroes go, Jones will fare better than Phelps because, in the end, he seemed to be reasonable and his (steadily increasing) flock will point him out as a stalwart, rather than just a wart on the face of today's Christianity.

But for all of it's looking the fool, we have to fear for an America where the Phelps' and the Jones' have any followers at all: does anyone want to actually MEET any of their followers? Only the bravest journalist would actually venture into their territories, intellectual black holes sucking out their entire I.Q. and journalistic integrity in an instant.*

And beyond the Phelpses and the Joneses, we have Inerrantists (the Bible is totally iwithout error), Fundamentalists (Bible "inspired"or maybe just faxed by God),  Geocentrists (the Church was right and Galileo was wrong), Christian Reconstructionists (government by the the Bible, for the Bible, and with the Bible), Dominionists (Christians Rule), Young Earthers (Creationism-to-the-max), Premillenialists (the Rapture is coming soon), snake handlers, Lou Engle, Sharron Angle, Rod Parsley, Pat Robertson, David Barton, Glenn Beck, Bryan Fischer, and Michele Bachmann, to name but a very few. 

And along with these people we have institutions like the Creation Museum.

From The Creation Museum:

The themes of the exhibits resound in the theater presentations: Men in White, Six Days of Creation, The Last Adam, and Dinosaurs and Dragons. Our Special Effects Theater, complete with rumbling seats and rising mists, takes visitors on a fantastic quest to find the real purpose and meaning of life.

Each seat is a rocket launching pad in our Stargazers Planetarium. Prepare for lift-off. The digital projector showcases a spectacular gravity-defying spaceflight, a thrilling ride billions of light years away to the vast outer regions of our universe.

The contradiction is lost on those who have given up reason for belief: how can an enterprise such as the Creation Museum expect you to believe in a 6000 year-old earth and talk about "billions of light years" using the same science it rebukes?

The willingness of some Americans to accept such folly as the Creation Museum overshadows a deeper strain of stupidity if you will: the Christian Right school board. Texas school boards, in particular, have not only maximized Creationism, but they have insisted on revisionist history books and banned books they consider too radical or "activist" to even Laura Bush's consternation. Political pundits like Glenn Beck and politicians like Sharron Angle have pushed for the elimination of the federal government's Department of Education, ostensibly to save money. The possibility exists, however, that Christian Right pundits, politicians, and clergy might just feel the need to control future generations by keeping them stupid: feed them lots of religion, whitewashed history, and extreme competition, while starving them of sociology, science, the arts, and any ability to be individual or creative. Even if a place like the Creation Museum closes its doors, more dinosaurs might wind up sporting saddles in the future. 

This last "conspiracy," if you will, is not as far fetched as it seems on the surface: inroads into Africa (particularly Uganda, Rwanda and Zimbabwe) have shown us what they can do to a poverty-stricken and backward area of the globe. Sending zealots like Lou Engle to prophesy and announce the coming of anointed ones like Scott Lively to "pagan" countries is working: if they can get heads of state and their legislatures to heed their proselytizing and "advice," the spread of the Christian Right's politicized religion will be much easier than it has been here in the U.S. Yet the audacity of the Christian Right passing off people as "experts (like George Rekers, David Barton and Scott Lively) and by allowing their own fringe to go on uncensored proves that they still believe a viable portion of America is susceptible to anything they proffer as truth and authority. They are still making inroads. And as with Terry Jones' power, it boggles the mind.

                            

* The stalwart rightwing John Stossel interviewed the Phelps clan once, and even he had to conclude that they were stupifyingly dogmatic, and bemoaned the fact that their children were being taught to hate just about everyone outside of the family.