Wednesday, May 16, 2012

OBAMA IS GAY AND CIVILIZATION IS DOOMED! As Expected, The Wingnuts Are Out In Full Force. Cue Laughter.





CRAZY LADY USHERS IN THE AGE OF HILARIOUS
It's been said before. We've made a religion out of entertainment and an entertainment out of religion, and no one entertained us more last week than a lady who ranted:
- "A huge percent of gay men in school grounds molest boys, partly because they don't have AIDS yet," she said.
"Hillary Clinton's roommate four years in college was a gay woman. To avoid going gay like Clinton did, college students need single rooms and single gender dorms."
"Jesus was kissed by Judas, a homo, who tried to sabotage Jesus' kind ideas. Do you choose Jesus, a celibate, or Judas, a homo? You have to choose!"
Later, it was discovered that Ms. Svoboda was a certifiable schizophrenic ...and:

Nonetheless, Jane Svoboda is a registered lobbyist at the Capitol, and she usually speaks twice a month during the council’s open mic sessions. She also frequents the University of Nebraska-Lincoln campus, where she hands out fliers and is known as the “Crazy Blue Protesting Lady.”

Her brother and legal guardian, Patrick Svoboda lamented "that people were not more understanding of her mental illness. Money quote from Patrick: "...she’s not some crazy conservative.”

Yes, we knew the wingnuts would come out swinging with a vegeance against Barack Obama.

Here's a small list of Headlining quotes:

Manny Pacquiao: "Gay Men Should Be 'Put to Death'"

Pat Robertson: "Obama makes me sick to my stomach"

Pastor Jim Garlow: "Oppposing gay marriage may cost us our lives."

Paul Cameron: "Obama is gay." and "Gays should be imprisoned before they rape kids"

Franklin Graham: "Obama has shaken his fist at God. May God help us!"

Bishop Harry Jackson: "The Enemy wants [marriage equality] to be a legacy, or a seed that is planted in this generation that corrupts, perverts and pollutes...generations to come."

Bryan Fischer: "Obama is toast...just handed the election to Mitt Romney because he favors behavior that will kill you if you don’t catch yourself in time”

During this election year, the collection of wingnuts seems to resemble The Gong Show more than American Idol, Jerry Springer more than Anderson Cooper, Jay Leno's Battle of the Jay Walk Allstars more than What's My Line? Speaking of which:

Does anyone know who Manny Pacuiao is? He's a Champion prizefighter popular in the Philippine who currently lives and trains in L.A. His pronouncement came at a time when it was disclosed that he had a Filipino mistress - he's supposedly a devout Catholic.



Pat Robertson, is, of course, Pat Robertson. He was accused of being a bit dotty back when he said that Orlando Florida would suffer a meteor since it allowed Disney World to have Gay Day. He also declared that disaster-ridden Haiti has signed a pact with the Devil, leading even his followers to believe that he is senile. Other are doubtful, stating that senility could not last a full forty years. 

Pastor Jim Garlow, of Skyline Weslyan Church in San Diego, has compared marriage equality to slavery and insisted that if Prop 8 failed, pastors would go to jail. (Garlow was a leading proponent of Prop 8).

Paul Cameron is probably THE most discredited researcher on earth, declaring that the average age of a gay male is 42 - a figure he arrived at while perusing gay newspaper obituaries during the worst years of the AIDS crisis. The Family Research Council has based their rhetoric on Cameron's findings. Cameron has been ousted and criticized by The American Psychological Association, the Nebraska Psychological Association and the Canadian Psychological Association. Most of Cameron's "research" has been published in pay-to-publish publications. 

Franklin Graham, son of evangelist Bill Graham, has become at odds with his father of late, positing that people outside Christianity cannot possibly enter into the Kingdom of Heaven ( at least not without his -ah,er - God's permission). 

Bishop Harry Jackson is an activist for the black family - just not the gay black family: I'm looking at the extinction of marriage. And black culture is in a free fall." He also believes that condoms promote AIDS. 

Bryan Fischer has become known as America's "Super Bigot": he opposes everything and everyone who isn't Bryan Fischer. As a spokesman for the American Family Association, Fischer has railed against Native Americans, African-American single mothers, liberals, gays, feminists, Mormons and, well, the list goes on and on. He has friends, be they may currently be in hiding. 

But Wait, There's More!

Like a Ronco Popeil product commercial, the panoply of wingnuts who will be weighing in on gay marriage and all political "wedges" will be adding more wingnuts as time goes by...all the way to Nov. 6th. You will hear from:

- Cindy Japan-is-shaped-like-a-dragon Jacobs. She may "cure" another woman of her hysterectomy just to spite pro-choice foes.

- C. Peter Wagner, who advocates the demolition of the Statue of Liberty, it being a pagan idol. He will be going to Sarah Palin's Alaska andburning totem poles on front lawns.

- Rick Joyner, who visited heaven once upon a time, and may visit it again to see what the political climate is there.

- John Hagee, who will be rooting for Armageddon with CUFI (Christians United For Israel).

Yes, the "Laugh" sign is on for us in the studio audience called America. But don't laugh too much and miss voting this year. Maybe that's their strategy. 

Clever.

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