Ministry Countdown!

Yes, I'm a minister - in the eyes of the Universal Life Church. And to those of you who know about ULC - don't laugh! This ministry will be surprisingly authentic - in terms of "ministering" to people and dealing with religious and social issues. 

So far, however, I'm only announcing it in this blog. Officially, it will be announced to the MSM, via a new website, a new look to this blog, a new column in the San Francisco Bay Times (The Devil's Advocate) and an article in OpEdNews. Please join me in ushering in this event: I will have a short article every day (if I can - I'm a caregiver and my charge has been declared terminal) until Jan. 6th when I sendf out all the official information and several articles. Join in "the blitz" by checking in every day until then. If you have a favorite website you would like to see on my new blogroll, please send me a link in the comments section below.

Thanks so much, loyal readers. Remember: Jan. 6th is when a hammer comes down on the Christian Right!

Stranger Than Fiction: Tony Perkins' Christmas Card

Note: Please keep in mind that I am writing this as one who has studied sociology, comparative religions, theology and history (almost as much as Glenn Beck) and does not look kindly on people who try to press stupidity on the uneducated for the sake of socio-political ideals.

Christmas cards are not supposed to come with a hidden agenda. These missives are supposed to uplift humanity, not degrade it. But the Grand High Mystic Ruler of the Family Research Council, Tony Perkins, wants to stuff your holliday greeting with as much politicizing as possble, damn the outcome.

And what a cobbled-together crock it is! I expected Perkins to pull out all the stops when it came to his Christmas message, but this one barely makes sense: Perkins pastes together all the greeting-card images of the Matthew and Luke Gospels while taking vague jabs at Obama, Afghanistan, same-sex marriage and abortion. The buzz words that fly around are certainly more numerous than the Heavenly Hosts. And it all smacks of the dictum "keep 'em stupid." So here it is - in Tony Perkins own self-righteous words (with some commentary to keep things on solid ground).

God with Us

As we retreat into the peace of this Christmas season, it's a relief to feel the distractions of this world fall away.

Retreat: as in military retreat. Let's talk war from the get-go.

For a few quiet days, Christians everywhere can humbly reflect on the greatest miracle in the history of mankind. In no other religion does the Creator of the universe come down to earth and live among us, His own creatures. 

Huh? Perkins ignores a lot of religions here. Of course, he's never been one to quote scholars accurately. In ancient times there were over twenty dying-and-rising gods to which people prayed, several having virgin births! His revisionist historian, David Barton, must have been feverishly hard at work here.

Yet Jesus came -- not as a king or conqueror -- but as a babe. What greater way could God express His approachability than by coming to earth, His earth, in the form of the most vulnerable creature on the planet? 

Vulnerable? Here our beloved but deluded Tony is taking a swipe at the EPA, saying we're not responsible for things like global warming or the extinction of thousands of species of the more powerful creatures. An image comes to mind: back in the 1800s, people shot buffalo from trains for sport, letting the carcasses rot miles away from Native Americans to make use of. Vulnerable? Gimme a break!

He who would be the King of Kings was sent to us -- not in a royal palace or great Temple -- but in a lowly stable, surrounded by animals. 

He's going for the holostic approach to the Nativity scene here. A trip to Bethlehem will reveal the site: a cave. Not as picturesque as a stable, I grant you, but a big hole in a big rock. Of course, he has to stay with the traditional script in keeping 'em stupid or else he'd seem wierd to his readers, so it has to be magi, shepherds, sheep, stable crowded into one tiny card.

He may not have been a child of wealth or privilege, but Jesus possessed something much more important: a family.

Perkins goes for the main point early and then hammers away at it: every child needs a family which consistists of: a mother and a human stepfather. He'sobviously nervous about DOMA being repealed. And after the demise of DADT...

He grew up -- not in brokenness of this world, but in the loving care of his mother and her husband.

According to scripture, poor Joseph almost didn't go through with marriage to a pregnant woman: "When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with the child of the Holy Ghost. Then Jospeph her husband, being just a man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily." (Matthew 1; 18-20) He certainly didn't want to parade Mary around (so obviously pregnant) too soon. In a way, Joseph was bucking the Christian Right of his day.

"Brokenness" sounds vaguely like a new word coined for the situation like Steven Colbert's "Truthiness." What's he's really saying here: "This crappy world we're living in can be changed if we just keep mandating one-man-one-woman marriages. And go back to the Fabulouse50s." He doesn't mention the very high rate of divorce among Fundamentalists (sssshhh! it's a secret!)

On that silent night -- His first in this new world -- the Messiah's arrival was heralded. But this special birth announcement wasn't shared with the country's elite, but with her excluded. 

Yes, the kings did come, but it was the shepherds who first made their way to that primitive throne. They were summoned to Bethlehem by choirs of angels from the hills, where they were tending their flocks by night. To the people of Palestine, these men and boys were the least important of the Roman Empire. 

The three wise men are portrayed as kings, perhaps to hide the fact that they were illegal aliens. And the shepherds were downgraded. Maybe they weren't much in the Roman Empire, but shepherds were important in Israel: shepherds were guardians of a very necessary and valuable property: sheep.  Why did Jesus preach that we should go after the one stray lamb? Simply because it was too f*ckin' expensive to lose!

But it was to these simple peasants that the heavens proclaimed peace on earth, goodwill to men.

Great Caesar Augustus in Rome was not bidden to come to the stable. Even he, who was worshiped as a god, wasn't given the privilege of seeing the holy infant. But three wise men were brought from afar. They followed a star in the sky until it led them to the place where the Christ child lay. 

Caesar Augustus, as with all Caesars after him, was made a god, but few people actually took it seriously and worhipped him as one: regicide was commonplace at the time and Roman senators and Centurions knew that gods couldn't be killed. Perkins is really referring to our own Barack Obama and the adulation he first received when he became President.

When King Herod, whom the Romans had chosen to rule over Judea, heard from the wise men that a child had been born, one who would rule over His people, Herod ordered his soldiers to find that child and take his life. To protect Herod's power, every baby boy less than two-years-old would be slain. In God's providence, even the slaughter of those innocents could not prevail over the Chosen One. Joseph and Mary were warned by the Angel of the Lord and they fled into Egypt, taking the baby with them. 

Why two years old? Did it take the wise men (down-graded from kings) two years to reach Herod? They didn't have a GPS? And after the birth, who's right, Matthew or Luke (who stated that they went instead to Nazareth)? Notice that Perkins in all his wisdom doesn't explain why God sacrificed all those infants. The narrator, of course, wanted to make a correlation to the Passover before The Exodus, but Perkins knows that metaphor would go way over the heads of his readers.

The Lord God might have sent a fiery chariot to spirit Jesus away. He might have provided a great bird or a giant fish. He might have drowned all of Herod's men or visited them with a plague. Instead, our Father in Heaven entrusted the infant to Mary and Joseph, a mother and a father. The baby Jesus was protected- and the Scriptures fulfilled: The Messiah would come out of Egypt . 

Perkins' imagination gets the better of him with giant birds and fishes. The bird I can understand, but a giant fish? Where was it supposed to take them? On a Disney Cruise? The flight to Egypt being an important part of the Nativity, Perkins makes it into a FAMILY outing, getting in a covert dig to gay adoption.

To us, the ancient story has a terribly modern ring. Powerful rulers determined to do anything to preserve their power -- even promoting and funding the shedding of innocent blood. Earthly kings worshiped as gods. Peace proclaimed on high while violence stalks the streets. 

This is Perkins' biggest pitch. "Look how rotten the country has become: Planned Parenthood, a socialist dictator, and liberal pot-smokers have ruined it!"

But out of all of this is the greatest message ever given to man: God is with us. The miracle is that He didn't just come down from His heavenly home thousands of years ago. He comes today -- to live with us, suffer with us, and- praise God -- to save us.

At the end of an overwhelming year, we can take comfort in the fact that this helpless baby, who came in relative obscurity, will soon return as a triumphant Savior that no one will miss! He won't just be a King among kings- He will be the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! And unlike the men of this world, He will reign forever and ever! I pray that we all embrace the simplicity of the season and rejoice in the Love reborn each day. From everyone at FRC, we wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! 

Perkins has now gone into a triumphal blast of the Allelujah Chorus for the finish: "King of Kings and Lord of Lords...He will reign forever and ever!" And after all that, we're supposed to believe in "simplicity"?  It's about as "simple" as the Gordian Knot!

It's all too silly, really, but buzz word after buzz word entertains and lulls Perkins' readers into thinking that he's written something profound. 

He hasn't. He's written a slightly covert polemic about the evils  of same-sex marriage and the Obama administration.

But he wants you to buy it, hook, line and manger.

My First Christmas With God, Pat Robertson, and The Devil

I'm not really looking forward to Christmas this year. It's a day away, but I'm over it all: overweight, overworked, overdrawn and overwhelmed. Eight months ago we were forced to move to a smaller place, so despite the Christmas tree, the apartment looks as if it's going to explode, spewing boxes of nick-knacks and old bank statements over the rest of the apartment complex. If it does, "Christmas" will be somewhere in the rubble, but don't look to me to find it. Instead, I'll be dealing with other things, like the fact that there's no money for the usual presents, that I look like hell because I haven't been able to keep up my exercise regimen and that my former partner (for whom I'm a caregiver), has just been told that his liver cancer is inoperable and he will live only nine months.

But, you know, I can handle all of that. I've been through worse (I think).  The real reason I'm not looking forward to Christmas is because this will be my first Christmas as a minister (I just received my ordination papers  -along with a supply catalogue!) AND my first Christmas in a war with God. Oh, up until now, I've had a very good relationship with Him, but my being a minister changes that relationship. Notice that I said a "war with God," not a "war against God." I have to deal with Him as a comrade-in-arms.  It's now me and Him against His nemesis. Satan? No.

Pat Robertson.

You may think it an easy war, seeing that Pat has become so senile that even his proteges distance themselves from him whenever a natural disaster occurs, but war under any circumstance, as they say, is hell.  Of course, Robertson's old partners-in-crime have gone: Jerry Falwell, Jesse Helms and the old "Cadaver of Congress", Strom Thurmond; Oral Roberts, his University and his memory are fading away; the Crystal Cathedral will soon be a mass of glass shards and few people remember that alarmingly insipid little man, Rev. Lou Sheldon. But like weeds that Robertson so judiciously sewed into the nation's ground, new, vigorous, (and deadlier) strains of self-righteousness and hypocrisy have already taken their place: Tony Perkins, Bryan Fischer, Bill Donohue, Lou Engle, Cindy Jacobs to name but a few.

So I have to prepare for war - and on Christmas! I have to shine up my old verbal zingers and invent new ones. I have to research and catalog as many self-righteous hypocrites as possible (a daunting task seeing that there were so many this last year ala "Bishop" Eddie Long) while their hypocrisies keep pummeling us like giant hailstones. I have to build a barracade of educational references to use against falsehoods. I have to assure everyone (and God as well) that we will prevail. And I have to build alliances, maybe even with the Devil ("the enemy of my enemy is my friend"). See, I can rationalize anything just as well as they can.

Oh, there will be some wicked fun in store for me: the latest dimiwitted, hysterical rant is that gays "stole" the rainbow symbol from Christianity and now good Christians want it back! Coming up with barbs about that one will be delicious. Cream pie, anyone?

In the past, however, I've been able to juggle life's personal exigencies with the demands of an activist: this year, however, I will need to have more drive and stamina suited to a minister. This year, Christmas comes with a powerful caveat: the beautiful love and hope may only intensify the hypocrisies.  Will I  have the stamina to write/fight against not only Pat Robertson, but all the other televangelists, the lobbyists, politicians and frauds? I honestly don't know. My ministry goals are simple: help people survive by getting them back on the track of charity, compassion and social justice - those things that Glenn Beck is telling us to avoid at all costs. But the simplest of goals can require enormous effort, and placing a "Rev." in front of my name will put me in hostile, uncharted territory.

Christmas. Oh joy.

Have A Happy Transcendental Holiday, Everyone!

Why is the Christian Right so bent out of shape about Christmas? Of all the stories of the Bible, none has engendered as much worldwide peace and love as Christmas: many wars have been suspended for that one day. People are noticeably friendlier, happier, more compassionate. For at least one day out of the year, much of mankind becomes more human in being ... humanitarian. So why are Christian Right-wingers up in arms about it?

They don't own it anymore. It's one of the few good pieces of PR that they had left and they can't lay claim to it. Christmas transcended them when it morphed into "Happy Holidays" because the true Spirit of Christmas lay in sharing and including everyone, inviting people of all faiths, some with holy-days falling at about the same time, to celebrate mankind and his potential for good. Christmas has also become a time when Original Sin is all but forgotten: guilt does not play the role that it stars in at Easter time. And to many right-wing Christians, Original Sin is the bedrock of Christianity. Original Sin helps them to feel wonderful about themselves when they forgive someone. Yes, take away Original Sin and the label Christmas and they don't have anything left of the holiday to which they felt entitlement. Christmas, or rather the Holiday Spirit, isn't theirs anymore. Not exclusively theirs.

 ***

Does anyone out there remember the Transcendental Meditation craze of the mid 70s? I practiced it for a while in order to deal with stress. I should take it up again. I remember it now not only because of the meaning of the word "transcend" but because I vividly remember the times I actually did transcend from my world to another plane. And whenever I transcended to that plane, it was a jolt, a breakthrough as it were. And after the breakthrough there was a feeling of freedom.

The Holiday Spirit is like that, isn't it? It frees us of the burden of hatred, for even though hatred is easier to achieve than love, it comes with emotional baggage we need to lug around forever. So once we've achieved the Holiday Spirit, we go beyond it and don't think of it in terms of  gifts, Santas, old-time carols or even a babe in a manger. We think of it as freedom and the peace freedom brings with it. 

The Christian Right, however, is still lugging its baggage of intolerance and won't let itself appreciate the wonderful feeling of transcendence. Oh, they think they feel it and crow with a superior sense of entitlement that they above everyone else should know what Christmas feels like. But with their self-righteousness they have built a wall that hinders them from feeling truly free.  And they can't join their brethren who enjoy unconstrained, unqualified love and acceptance.

I guess I should feel sorry for those who are truly "Left Behind" (ala Tim LaHaye), but ... I can't. You see, I'm hindered by memories of "Age of AIDS" Christmases here in San Francisco, when thousands of volunteers - strangers, really - strove to bring as much comfort as they could to people who had been evicted from their homes while they were sick and dying under the guise of "righteousness." It saddens me that I can neither forgive nor forget. Perhaps someday...

"We want Christmas back, it's OURS!"

Sorry, but the Spirit of Christmas, the Holiday Spirit they lay claim to is no longer theirs: it's gone beyond them and is traveling through the hearts and minds of ... everyone else.

Have a Happy Transcendental Holiday, Everyone!

Feeling The Wrath of The FRC: Republicans Rue The Day

The Republican Party is finally feeling the wrath of the monster they unleashed over ten years ago: The head of the powerful American Society of Saints not Electing Sinners (A.S.S.E.S) also known as the Family Research Council, has declared righteous war on members of the Republican party, threatening to strip away the cloaks of righteousness of the ones who voted for the repeal of DADT. There will be a lot of hand-wringing and mea-culpas in the GOP for weeks to come as well as a lot of "distancing" from those senators and representatives who so brazenly defied Perkins and the Creator in all matters spiritual and secular.

The list of evil-doers includes:

The Republicans voting "yes" were: Sens. Scott Brown (R-Mass), Susan Collins (R-Maine), Mark Kirk (R-Ill.), Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska), Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) and George Voinovich (R-Ohio). Collins had co-sponsored the repeal bill.

 So here is the reaction of Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler Tony Perkins:

"Today is a tragic day for our armed forces. ... now been hijacked and turned into a tool for imposing on the country a radical social agenda. This may advance the cause of reshaping social attitudes regarding human sexuality, but it will only do harm to the military's ability to fulfill its mission...It is clear why this was done: not to enhance the military's ability to accomplish its mission or to enhance national security. Rather, it is a political payoff to a tiny, but loud and wealthy, part of the Democratic base.

I like the loud and wealthy part. Loud, maybe, but wealthy? Who does he think the gay community is, the Mormon Church?

Vicious is as vicious does.

While sage researchers say that the voting power of the Christian Right has dwindled in the last ten years, the fact is that its power and intensity has grown in other ways. Think in terms of California's Proposition 8: the amount of money and the viciousness of the ads, the disingenuous non-apologies of Rick Warren, the busing of thousands of Prop 8 volunteers from outside California. The intensity of it all. Like the video game from the Left Behind Series, the machinations of the Christian Right left nothing to the imagination: destroy, destroy, destroy the Evil gays and their horrible "agenda."*

This is now a great time to monitor the machinations of America's top Christian Right Organizations and just how much they will turn on members of the Republican Party: in the Family Research Council, Focus On the Family, American Family Association, the Catholic League, and the Southern Baptist Convention, we may see the destruction of political careers with a stridency that has never been seen before. Let's look at the key victims:

Olympia Snowe (R-Maine)

Olympia Snowe is no stranger to tragedy: orphaned at an early age, she endured the deaths of her husband (auto accident) and stepson (age 20, congential heart failure). She over came those obstacles to become both the wife of the Governor of Maine while acting as a Representative for Maine in Congress. Her tenure in the Senate has caused her to be labled a moderate. She is, however, a very vocal and active moderate having brokered alliances with both parties and been a leading tie-breaker in crucial legislation.

Olympia Snowe is a strong woman. The Christian Right distrusts strong women.

Susan Collins (R-Maine)

Susan Collins is considered to be one of the most liberal "moderates of the Republican Party and has worked closely with Olympia Snowe on many peace-making missions between the Republican and the Democrats. She has been endorsed by the Human Rights Campaign, so naturally the Christian Right hates her guts.

Scott Brown (R-Massachusetts)

Newly-elected Senator Scott Brown may be the only man in Congress ever to have posed nude for a centerfold in Cosmopolitan's centerfold as Sexiest Man of the Year (he was 20 years-old). The Christian Right will certainly not get beyond that peccadillo. His Republican career as senator has yet to be established, but he describes himself as a social moderate and a fiscal conservative. From now on, his every move and vote will probably be pilloried by the CR.

Mark Kirk (R-Illinois)

Mark Kirk can, on the surface, be looked upon as an ideal Republican: he seems to have completely confused his past military and professional careers: “I simply misremembered it wrong” became his political mantra. According to vote-smart.org, however, his "interest group ratings" are enough to have him drawn and quartered by the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler himself, Tony Perkins: Kirk's votes have backed Planned Parenthood 100%.

Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska)

Senator Lisa Murkowski had one of the most turbulent political careers in history. And not being endorsed by Sarah Palin was a high point with Alaskan voters. One of the few politicians in history to ever be re-elected as a write-in candidate, you'd think that the Christian Right would cling to her like glue. They haven't and they won't: she was oone of the few Republicans to vote for the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act. It will just be a matter of time before Cindy Jacobs prays for Lisa Murkowski's untimely political demise.

George Voinovich (R-Ohio)

Voinovich's senatorial career has been marked by two anti-Christian Right events: he vehemently opposed the apppointment of John Bolton as ambassador to the U.N. and he, like Lisa Murkowski, voted for the Hate Crimes Prevention Act. Enough said.

So there you have the Christian Right's Republican Senatorial hit list. 

Let the vicious demonizing begin.

*It's notable that, according to wikipedia.com, the term "gay agenda" was " first used in public discourse in 1992 when the Family Research Council released a video series called  The Gay Agenda as part of a pack of materials campaigning on homosexual issues and the 'hidden gay agenda'. So, in a sense, Tony Perkins is the actual source of "the gay agenda." Hmmmm. 

Our Knights In Rusty Armor: K of C Hit With Sex Abuse Scandal

“The supreme purpose of the Columbian Squires is character building.”

Holy hypocrisy! One of the most powerful lay organizations in the world has finally succumbed to a sex-abuse scandal: The Roman Catholic Church's own Knights of Columbus. Yes, that's right, the KofC, that bastion of money, male bonding and morals has gotten slapped with not one but two sexual abuse lawsuits. And due to the size of the organization, it's likely that more will follow.

NEW HAVEN, CT, December 14, 2010 — The Miami law firm of Herman, Mermelstein & Horowitz announces the filing of two new child sexual abuse lawsuits against the Knights of Columbus, one of the world’s largest organizations for Catholic men... The suits allege that the two boys were sexually abused on multiple occasions by Julian Rivera, the leader of the Columbian Squires [youth group] in Brownsville, Texas. One victim claims that Rivera sexually abused him at gunpoint, and also threatened to kill his family if he did not comply with Rivera’s demands.

In addition, one of the victims said he was "shared" by another Columbian Squires leader. This last exposes a whole new aspect to the situation: these are not isolated incidents. These suits go beyond the sexual abuse seemingly endemic in the Catholic Church's preisthood. And like the Vatican, the K of C has covered up the abuse:

According to the Complaints, Rivera was a leader in the Columbian Squires youth program until very recently, despite a 1986 report to two different Knights of Columbus officials that Rivera sexually abused a member of his Squires group.

A Matter of Size

Considering the span of years that the Church has had to account for sexual abuse, it is surprising that the Knights of Columbus has not been indicted earlier. Then again, considering its size and influence, it becomes clear that the organization's cover-ups must have been well orchestrated: there are over 5000 Columbian Squire Circles [chapters] throughout the U.S., Canada, Mexico, the Caribbean, the Philippines and even Cuba.

And the membership of the Knights of Columbus is matched by the size of its fund-raising pocketbook: while giving over $1.37 billion over the last 10 years, it also has assets of over $14 billion and $70 billion in life insurance policies. No wonder it could afford to spend $1.4 million on Prop 8. 

Its innate homophobia is a force to be reckoned with. Indeed, the K of C has flaunted its homophobia by spending more money to fight same-sex marriage than on its usual charitable donations, including donations to food drives. In other words, "The poor we will always have," but the chance to fight equal rights for gays, well, we may not always have.

Given the amount of money and assets involved, it will be interesting to see how Pope Benedict reacts to this latest scandal ...and if he had any knowledge of cover-ups. His defence of the Knights of Columbus will be convoluted at best: will he try to save this piggy bank from being shattered by public opinion? And if he defends it too much, will he add to the rancor towards the Vatican concerning its history of cover-ups?

Another portal to hypocrisy has been discovered while another bastion of rectitude has fallen. 

Bishop Eddie Long Throws His First Rock: A Wayward Custard Cream Pie That Lands Back In His Own Face!

"I've got five rocks and I haven't thrown one yet." - Bishop Eddie Long

"With little fanfare or news coverage, the four sexual coercion lawsuits confronting Bishop Eddie Long had the first hearing recently, with both sides opting for mediation to avoid a trial." - Huffington Post

HYPE AND HYPOCRISY

One primary fault of America's Christian community: it never properly vets its leaders. Anyone can add a title or a degree to their name and get away with it. And in the case of "Bishop" Eddie Long, taking advantage of this fault has received a royal treatment.

I've always been wary of "honorary" degrees; you can buy one with a hefty donation to a college. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family and leading homophobe has 19 of them (prominently displayed under glass in one of Focus' vast hallways, of course). Sometimes I wonder just how many boxes of Cracker Jack one has to eat to get one.* But today's Christian community has to look even deeper into the credentials of someone they automatically ascribe respect to: those "Master of Divinity" and "Ph.D." sobriquets might have come from an oddball bible-thumper school or an unaccredited seminary.

The Eddie Long scandal made me look past his titles of "Bishop" and "Ph.D": I found out just how warranted those titles are.

Not much. Long's title of "Bishop" comes from a break-away Baptist organization founded by - of course - self-appointed "bishops": the Full Gospel Baptist Church Fellowship. He separated from this "heretical" group back in 1998, but has conveniently kept the title. His "Ph.D." is from the unaccredited International College of Excellence.  So the protracted name of Bishop Eddie Long, Ph.D. is pretty shallow. All shallowness aside, however, it may be the only thing standing between him and total disaster, because the news of the day is that "Bishop" Eddie Long has agreed to enter into mediation:

Bishop Eddie Long agreeing to mediation of sexual coercion charges is an end-run around the universally accepted moral and ethical responsibilities of any ecumenical leader. Mediation of sexual allegation grievances is tantamount to an admission of "some" guilt, "some" form of ministerial misconduct. Innocent folk don't make deals if the claims against them are baseless and untrue. Mediation for the accused is a forfeiture of the right to ever claim innocence, and readers should be absolutely clear on this point.

"I've got five rocks." As David, however, Long's first "rock" is more like a custard cream pie that boomeranged back into his face: so what is he going to tell his congregation? For now he's staying mum. But a brave, stalwart sermon is due.  Is he going to cry and beg forgiveness ala Jimmy Swaggart? No. Let his mascara drip like Tammy Faye? No. Shed his jewelry, houses and cars and wear sackcloth and ashes? No. Tell everyone he just had the four young men around to carry his luggage?  Aaah...no.  Whatever the plan, whatever the speech, it will have to be unsurpassed entertainment, for that is what his flock and the rest of the country will demand. 

And he will give a speech. He can't slither silently away from anyone much less tens of thousands of people who entrusted him with their money and their souls. 

And speaking of his flock of sheep(le), how will they react on that momentous occasion? Cry? Moan? Scream? Deafen us with silence?  I would hope for the silence, but a flock like Eddie Long's, a flock that cheers an insipid "David and Goliath" speech, will doubtless shed tears for a tragic leader who needs to be forgiven. They will become part of that spectacle.

Therein lies the real tragedy of this massive hypocrisy.

Stay tuned.

*Unfortunately, I've never really been fond of Cracker Jack, so I guess I'll just have to save up one or two million for endowing some terribly obscure college.

The Season's First Storm of Righteous Indignation: The SPLC Tells The AFA, FRC, KKK and FWBP to SFTU

The proverbial sh*t has hit the fan: The Family Research Institute, along with various other religious and "family values" association,  has been named by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a "hate group." That's right, the FRC has been given the same designation as the KKK! But given the reaction of the FRC et al, it's unclear as to what fan was hit or with what kind of ...fecal matter:

Tony Perkins:

The Southern Poverty Law Center is a massively funded liberal organization that operates under a veneer of public justice when, in fact, they seem more interested in fundraising ploys than fighting wrongdoing...It's a sad day in America when we can not, with integrity, have a legitimate discussion over policy issues that are being considered by Congress, legislatures, and the courts without resorting to juvenile tactics of name calling.

Tony Perkins sometimes stumbles over his own platitudes: "integrity" is something the FRC has marginalized for years. There is no integrity in making "homosexual activists", "compassion", "liberal", or "social justice" into pejorative terms.

Another angle pushed by these groups is that the SPLC is very anti-Christian, but to the SPLC, it's more of a case of using power to disseminate false and demonizing information and certainly more name-calling on the part of the hate group:

These groups’ influence reaches far beyond what their size would suggest, because the “facts” they disseminate about homosexuality are often amplified by certain politicians, other groups and even news organizations. ...claims about LGBT people that have been thoroughly discredited by scientific authorities — and repeated, groundless name-calling. Viewing homosexuality as unbiblical does not qualify organizations for listing as hate groups.

The ever-entertaining Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association (listed last year as a hate group by the SPLC) chimed in with Perkins:

"In a strange way, it is a badge of honor for these groups to be tagged now by the SPLC as hate groups. It’s a sign of desperation on the part of the SPLC, and a sign that they are so threatened by the truths that these groups speak that they are now flailing about trying to silence them rather than to debate them."

Fischer has it right about trying to silence the groups: their hate speech is lethal. But he was wrong in the assertion that the SPLC has given up trying to debate them. Mark Potok of SPLC debated Tony Perkins on Chris Matthews' Hard Ball last Tuesday. Perkins made a spurious accusation against gays stating that research has shown that homosexuality poses a danger to children and referencing the American College of Pediatricians. The aftermath of this debate, however, revealed several serious problems:

Problem #1: the American College of Pediatricians is a group of 200 Christian Right pediatricians who have earned the scorn of the established American Academy of Pediatrics. Problem #2: the ACP's chief "researcher" was George "Rent Boy" Rekers. Problem #3: Chris Matthews "straighten(ed) these things out" the other day by pointing out the difference between the ACP and the AAP. Kudos to Matthews.

OK, so the SPLC wants the FRC and the AFA to STFU. So what about the rest of those gay-hating acronyms? Let's see, there's the CWA Concerned Women of America; the ATM (Abiding Truth Ministries); the IFI (Illinois Family Institute); HOME (Heterosexuals Organized for a Moral Environment); the TVC (Traditional Values Coalition); the FRI (Family Research Institute); the AFTAH (Americans for Truth About Homosexuality); the CADC (Christian Anti-Defamation Commission); CRM (Coral Ridge Ministries); the DWOC (Dove World Outreach Center); and the FWBC (Faithful Word Baptist Church) which should also go by the acronym of DBH -

Dumb But Honest.

If you remember anything at all about Steven Anderson, the pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, AZ, it's that he hates President Obama with a passion and has prayed that Obama would die. Another memorable point is that he's outspoken in his hatreds, so it should come as no surprise that his little storefront church was labeled a hate group by the SPLC: "I do hate homosexuals and if hating homosexuals makes our church a hate group then that's what we are." 

He forthrightly wishes that homosexuals would die, since  the King James Version of the Bible  is "without error." His ministry opposes "worldliness, modernism, liberalism and formalism." After viewing the video below, however, you will be convinced that he also opposes having an I.Q.  

Anderson is such an embarrassing anomoly that even Tony Perkins wishes he would STFU.

Other anti-gay hate groups featured by the SPLC:

Abiding Truth Ministries (ATM) While its acronym is ATM, this group has always been short of money, perhaps because the entire ministry is based upon the sales of one book, The Pink Swastika and the lectures of one man, author Scott Lively. Both the book and its author have been discredited for the last fifteen years, but that does not stop Lively from having an (albeit minimal)  income, especially when exporting his hatred of gays: he is allegedly one of the chief architects of Uganda's "kill the gays" bill.

Americans for Truth About Homosexuality (AFTAH) This group was formed in 1996 by Peter LaBarbera in 1996. LaBarbera has a penchant for going to gay events (undercover), taking the most salacious pictures and purchasing sex toys. He has earned the nickname "Porno Pete."  The SPLC, however, recognizes AFTAH as a dangerous and influential organization because of the publicity he generates as well as his view that gays are horrible sexual predators.

Christian Anti-Defamation Commission (CADC) Retired Army Gen. William Hollis, founded this organization, which might explain itsa dogged and militaristic attitude concerning anyone who even considers speaking out against Christians. His is the “first line of response to anti-Christian defamation, bigotry and discrimination.” Although it waned for years, its new leader, Rev. Gary Cass, has brought it to the fore by claiming that Christian-bashing, “the last acceptable form of bigotry in America."

Concerned Women for America  (CWA). Before Rapture author Tim LaHaye left his wife behind to write his successful series of novels, Beverly LaHaye was reacting to feminism  by forming Concerned Women for America. She wanted to match the power of the National Organization for Women. Instead, it has developed as a chief bulwark against any form of liberalism, including equal rights for gays. Spokeperson Candi Cushman recently appeared on Anderson Cooper 360 to convince viewers that while CWA and other right-wing groups abhor the rising number of gay teen suicides in the country, they do not want any homosexuals in schools teaching tolerance or anti-gay bullying defensives.

Coral Ridge Ministries (CRM). This group was founded by the late fundamentalist Rev. D. James Kennedy in the late 60s. The mega-church now boasts. over 15,000 members and an annual income of $18 million. Much of the money from donations ($6 million) goes into television and radio "outreach efforts" against various groups.

Dove World Outreach Center(DWOC) The Center was founded in 1986 by Don Northrup, but did not exactly reach out to the world until this year, when  its new leader, Pastor Terry Jones decided to hold an "International Burn a Koran Day" focusing on the Ground Zero Mosque. Although Jones' background resembled that of a two-bit Elmer Gantry (in Germany, of all places), people took the threat very seriously. It should also be mentioned that his mentor (of sorts) was Westboro Baptist Church's Fred Phelps of God-hates-fags fame.

Family Research Institute (FRI). Founded in 1987 by discredited psychologist Paul Cameron, the FRI claims to have "cutting edge research" even though Cameron has been  ousted from three professional organizations. One of Cameron's chief outlets has been Family Research Council while one of his main "studies" proposes that homosexuals have a shorter life span by some twenty-five years.

Heterosexuals Organized for a Moral Environment (HOME). Although HOME was founded over twenty years ago, its profile has only recently begun to pick up steam. Its focus is (obviously) on gay issues and morals, although the founder, Wayne Lela, now describes himself as an agnostic. Much like Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, Lela coins new words, the most notable being "illegalizable." This is the term he uses in relation to "homosexual activity."  Criminalization of this activity is HOME's chief proponent. He would definitely be at HOME in Uganda.

Illinois Family Institute (IFI). The IFI was once headed by Peter LaBarbera (see AFTAH),  so at this point, we could say "enough said." However, it recently launched Illinois Family Action as a political-action sister organization. Therefore, it may be the group to watch for 2011. With its ties  to FRC and the Alliance Defense Fund (a Christian-only legal defense fund founded by Regent University/Pat Robertson alumni), IFI might be able to do a lot of damage to gay rights issues.

Traditional Values Coalition (TVC). With his Traditional Values Coalition, Rev. Lou Sheldon has been warning Americans about the “gay agenda” for over thirty years. TVC has also targeted liberal activists. Ironically, going in somewhat a different direction than "traditional values," Sheldon was strongly implicated in the Jack Abramoff scandal (the TVC received $25,000 from ELottery).

The Dangers of Reconstructionism


Of the worst hardliners of the anti-gay movement (as well as other hate movements), Reconstructionism plays a large part due to its focus on the Bible and biblical law: the "father of Reconstructionism," R.J. Rushdoony, advocated global theocracy by gradual takeover of governments. If this seems to rank with conspiracy theories, remember that believers in Dominionism (strident anti-environmentalists) and Reconstructionism have increased in the last ten years. Of all the hate groups, the ones that espouse Reconstructionism are perhaps the most insidious: once scorned by mainline curch denominations, Reconstructionists have managed to place people on to the political stage. Its two primary groups are American Vision and the Chalcedon Foundation.

The war between religious homophobes like the FRC and "social justice" groups like the SPLC and the ACLU is just heating up in the "Season of Sharing." Brad O'Leary (author, America's War on Christmas) has hysterically predicted that soon the above organizations (and more) will be subject to criminal charges via the Hate Crimes Prevention Act:

Their crime? These groups represent millions of Americans and speak for tens of millions more who support traditional marriage and believe that homosexuality is biblically wrong...Calling an organization a “hate group” used to be nothing more than a slur. But in today’s America, such a pejorative may have serious legal connotations.SPLC knows this, because in 2009 the group was instrumental in getting the Democrat-led Congress to pass, and President Obama to sign, the Hate Crimes Prevention Act into law.

Forecast for this Christmas Season: Hot As Hell With Frequent Gusts Of Righteous Indignation.