Move Over Fred Phelps! You've Got Competition! And He's A First Class Christofascist!

Being a master of homophobia takes time, effort and even a bit of originality.

I've just finished reading Mark Morford's wonderful article in the SFGate.com. O.K., I really need to catch up on my reading (article posted July 1st). Then a piece on Pam's House Blend caught my attention and Hallelujah! The two fit together beautifully! Morford notes those two famous Central Park Zoo penguins, Roy and Silo, who adopted an egg, hatched it, and raised the chick as a couple.

Confirmed: God is slightly gay. Just ask the animals. As soon as they stop having all that homosexual sex.

The best part: the story was absolutely true. The book, "And Tango Makes Three," was beautiful and sweet and touching in all the right ways -- except, of course, for the fact that it was also totally evil.

For indeed, the penguins in question, named Roy and Silo, were both males. This meant they were clearly in some sort of ungodly, aberrant homosexual relationship, mocking natural laws and defying God's will that all creatures only cohabitate with the opposite sex and buy microfiber sofas from Pottery Barn and eat their meals in silent resentment and never have sex.

And the comments? Over 3000! And many of them came out like this:

username withheld 7/5/2009 10:50:52 AM This comment violated SFGate's Terms and Conditions, and has been removed.

Others:

Con:

No, Mark -- YOU might be slightly gay, but you are NOT God! God is the creator -- the supreme being who created your sorry ass.. I repeat -- you are NOT God. I'm gettin' tired of havin' to 'splain this to you!

Yuck! Another article promoting gay culture... and, of all things, bringing up the deviant "gay penguins" as example again. SFGate goes way too far with its ultra-liberal agenda: the article about how the illegals are "dedicated" worker, the recent article on how a county that's conservative cost the state too much, and so forth. As a moderate, I can't wait to see SFGate sink.

AND PRO:

Wow!! Can't you just FEEEEEEEL the "polyester christian" love oozing here?! So typical of the oppressive, threatening religious right and how they will resort to any means to get their way, even violence. This is nothing new. And don't you just LOVE how this neanderthal actually attempts to genderize praying?!?! ...limp-wristed praying?!?!

Now the REALLY GOOD PART of all this: the incredibly tortured (almost dead) logic of Pastor Leroy Swailes. In his three minutes and thirty-eight seconds of fame, Swailes manages to equate gays with: being inhuman, bestiality, pedophilia. Telling children about gay people is also pedophilia as well as sadistic. Or Satanistic - he seems to get the two mixed up.

• You have Human rights and InHuman rights.
• Homosexuality is inhuman
• Discrimination is a “negative and a positive”
• Discriminating against homosexuality is a positive
• Homosexuals are pedophiles
• Books that “talk about” homosexuality are pedophile books
• To have human rights, you have to be human.
• Homosexuality is a form of bestiality: “Because a beast has four legs and one gender. If you put four men together they have four legs and two penises and still one gender. That’s a form of bestiality.”
• To tell a child that he or she has a choice to be heterosexual or homosexual is sadistic.
• We have to discriminate against something that is inhuman.

Go to Pastor Swailes' website, www.ThirdGender666.com If you can get past the misspellings, the rambling, the cracked logic and the awful grammar, you'll notice that this man is very serious about hating gays. And since he considers gays to be inhuman, there's more of a rationale for violence than most sites.

I'm curious: does he have a real "church"? With a real "congregation"? Which bible-thumper school did he attend? Does he have a gun?

Pastor Leroy Swailes lives in his own world, but don't tell him that. He might try to prove to you that he's all too human.

Just a thought.