Friday, May 1, 2009

D.U.M.B.S: Bachmann Turncoat Overdrive

There is an ailment called DUMBS: Don't Underestimate Michele Bachmann's Stupidity. It starts with watching her on You Tube, or video links from rss feeds. In some serious cases, it can start with just the mention of her name. You suffer from blurred political vision, hyperventilation due hearing totally disengaged thought, a serious rash while being reminded of the polluted state of Minnesota, and lastly, a lightheadedness, a feeling that your brain has been sucked into whatever medium Bachmann uses as a venue. These symptoms may seem to go on forever, because they linger long after any encounter with Bachmann's inanity. And when they DO subside, you then fall into a deep depression, realizing that there were people in Minnesota who actually voted for her. Sometimes it takes a whole day before DUMBS abates. It's awful. Believe me, no one should have to live with it. Ever.

But give the lady her due: she's courageous. Nothing ever gets in her way to relay the most profound idiocy:

Think Progress
BACHMANN: I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under Democrat President Jimmy Carter. And I'm not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it is an interesting coincidence.
In one statement, Bachmann managed to: show her lack of knowledge in American history (swine flu broke out during the Ford administration), place a link from swine flu to Democrats and still manage to reflect badly on Obama even when she says she isn't blaming him. Yet there is irony in Michele (yes, it's one "L") Bachmann's pronouncements on patriotism: her statements about members of congress could have given Joe McCarthy a reason to pause, but her unbridled disdain for Obama and what he stands for smacks of the turncoat:

“It’s like Thomas Jefferson said, a revolution every now and then is a good thing. We are at the point Sean, of revolution.”
U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann says she fears the Obama administration will create “re-education camps for young people, where young people have to go and get trained in a philosophy that the government puts forward and then they have to go to work in some of these politically correct forums.”
On the gay community and same-sex marriage:
“This is a very serious matter, because it is our children who are the prize for this community, they are specifically targeting our children.”

“It’s part of Satan I think to say that this is “gay.” It’s anything but gay.”

“[from a talk show host] Answer the question, do you hate homos?”
MB: “No, but ask my kids! (laughter)”
how do we fight Michele Bachmann and the dreaded disease DUMBS? The antidote is simple: LAUGH. Don't wring your hands in angst and helplessness. LAUGH - at her. Take every one of her quotes, cobble together a book and make fun of her. You may think that America is already laughing. You may think it uncouth or cruel. Yes, on all three counts. But America isn't laughing enough. Be aggressive in your humor: if you think there might be a chance of meeting her, by all means meet her. But with your "I'm with Stupid" t-shirt. Have someone take a picture, then plaster it all over the Net. Flood YouTube with your own little video vignettes and montages, or photoshop pictures of her to place on Flickr. Find out her itinerary and be in place and hold large picket signs - one side with "We Love You Michelle" (with two "l"s) and on the other side "We hate can't stand this bitch." But be careful that you have the "love" side to her and the "bitch" side to the media. She has such a disingenuous smile, and we dare not waste it.

So who's the good patriot? There are many definitions of "patriot" and one of them is: a good patriot is someone who knows when to speak out and when to shut up.

Bachmann is clueless about the fact that people want her to do the latter. The proof is in the videos below.

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