And Gay Marriage Will Cause Tornadoes in Tahiti, Bubonic Plague in New Jersey, a Culinary Craving for Infants, and ...

Bill O'Reilly To Become Gay!

O.K., some of you wouldn't mind New Jersey getting Bubonic Plague, you get the gist. People like Bill O'Reilly grasp at anything evil-sounding to associate with gay marriage.

O’REILLY:

So you can see the debate over gay marriage is now a full fledge national battle. As talking points said last night the election of Barack Obama has emboldened secular progressives who feel it is their time. Gay marriage just the beginning. Other cultural war issues will also be in display very shortly. These include limiting gun possession, legalizing narcotics, unrestricted abortion and the revocation of the Patriot Act.

Sounds almost as fearful as Pat Robertson:

It [feminism] is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

Then again, O'Reilly doesn't seem quite as squirrelly.