The World's Oldest Choir Boy Attacks Same-Sex Marriage

I just read this two minutes ago. I subscribe to Tony Perkins' daily email from the Family Research Council (Hey, I get my laughs wherever I can!)

Here Come The Grooms

When the clock chimes 5:01 p.m. (PST), the California ruling that threatens to undo thousands of years of natural marriage will officially take effect, triggering five months of social chaos that could wreak havoc on every state in America.

Also:

Thanks to the courage of County Clerks Ann Barnett and Candace Grubbs, the local offices will stop performing wedding ceremonies altogether. To comply with the law, Kern and Butte Counties will still issue marriage licenses, but they refuse to subject their staff to the Supreme Court's blatant disregard for traditional morality and individual religious rights.

Too many nips, tucks facials and kitchen cleanser

In closing:

Meanwhile, FRC will continue to bring its educational message to the state, where our ads in Sacramento and Orange County are reminding voters what the California court has now done to injure families and undermine the well being of children.
Of course, to Tony Perkins, we're all just rabid child molesters trying to greedily demand rights we don't have the right to expect. But this particular post by the often ungrammatical and poorly phrased Perkins is hysterical:

"...thousands of years of natural marriage." Huh? It was only until very recently that women were thought of as human beings. Those thousands of years include all the men coveting dowries and treating wives as property. What about Solomon's 300 wives and 400 concubines? What about the biblically-sanctioned practice of bedding your slave if your wife hasn't born a son? What's so natural about boiling your wife in her bath because she lied to you? (Constantine the Great)

"...social chaos". Heterosexual men and women have done a good job at "social chaos" and don't need any help from homosexuals. If memory serves me correctly, there is a high rate of divorce amongst fundamentalists and "values voters" like Tony.

"...blatant disregard for traditional morality and individual religious rights." That means that Perkins wouldn't attend a Muslim wedding if you paid him. "Traditional morality" is relative - specifically because of "individual religious rights." Substitute "tradition" and "individual" with "Christian" and you'll see what Perkins is really saying.

"...undermine the well being of children." In many cases, religion has already done a good job of that too: the FLDS children were not tested for fumarase deficiency (which causes encephalopathy, severe mental retardation, unusual facial features, brain malformation, and epileptic seizures). Perkins really means that same-sex marriage might make kids more tolerant - something that is totally toxic to fundamentalists everywhere.

Perkins is always homophobic, but this post shows that rants can unhinge reason.

And that, of course, is funny.

Thousands of years of natural marriage