Marking 200 For OpEdNews: The Best of Times (Sex With Ducks), The Worst of Times (The Deaver Fetus)

I'm tired. If you want to feel the frenetic pace my writing life has been like, just click on this old Leroy Anderson tune of a typewriter and read along. It will set a light tone to some very heavy subjects (hey, that's my style!).* 

Marking 200? No, I'm not 200 years old, although sometimes I feel like it. And tabulating how much I've submitted to OpEdNews for the last 3 years makes me feel older: it's certainly not a prodigious output by any means, but my perspective is queer: it's not how much I put out, but how much I am able to fit in. In between things, that is: no, not a sob story, but one that compels me to relay it to OpEdNews readers because they've been a part of my life.

For the last 5 years, I've been a caregiver to a loved one who is terminally ill (liver cancer) and life has gone from week-to-week, to day-to-day. Now, it's kind of hour-to-hour. It's also cooking, cleaning, errands, hospital visits, prescription refills, doling out meds, travel planning, kitty care, and fending off labels like "angel" and "saint" (curses on the love life - saints and angels don't get laid.). Not that I'm complaining, but ...o.k., I'm complaining. Because amidst all of this I'm compelled to communicate to people news and views about the realms of religion and politics ... and everything in between.

Yeah, it's an addiction: first thing in the morning I scan google alerts (at least a dozen "men of the cloth" are arrested for various crimes each day), devour rss feeds, answer comments on the blog, and plan the new ministry. I eventually come up for coffee (not air), then I have a breakfast consisting of religious and political hypocrisies, then I uncover them, rant on them and laugh at them. (I have to laugh at them: I take to heart Mark Twain's dictum: "Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.") The rest of the day alternates between something mundane like changing the sheets and writing about the latest malapropisms of Michele Bachmann or the newest pronouncements of Benedict XVI.

Occasionally, I indulge myself with the luxury of our view of the ocean and the realization that I live in the most beautiful and compassionate place on earth (San Francisco).

IT'S ALL PERSPECTIVE

Times are getting bleaker and there's w-a-a-ay too much to rant about: atrocities like The Deaver Fetus and David Kato's murder in Uganda infest my laptop screen like giant termites, making it harder to laugh. The viciousness of today's Christof*scism, the blatant bigotry of people like Bryan Fischer and the eviscerating evangelism of Lou Engle propose a future too dreadful to imagine. Turning them on their ears becomes less fun, hence more difficult to write about.

Oh, occasionally Pat Robertson comes up with a hoot, a statement so self-righteously inane that it wipes the brain clean of all seriousness,* but writing about senile musings is too easy and breezy: the psyche just starts to relax when up comes a horror worthy of Halloween: suddenly there is too little time to write about LGBT issues, Islamoph*bia or even Ann Coulter(geist). 

Then there's the outright ruthlessness of the newly invigorated Republican Party: I hope I don't drown in that tsunami of vengeance! It overwhelms humanity! Don't get me started.

BACK TO THE POINT

OpEdNews has been a godsend for writers like me: the chance to get a word in edgewise is coupled with an association of some of the brightest minds we have today. And knowing that some people out there are actually reading my rants helps me contend with all that's happening to me and to the rest of the world. So now I'm up to 200 articles (150,000 words. 300,000 page views). I may flag a bit in the future, but I'll never kick the addiction of writing about the Right Wing's religious world of hypocrisy or things like ...Sex with Ducks. 

*Sorry if you're too young to know what a typewriter sounds like

** The article that has garnered me the most page views is, ironically, the one about Pat Robertson's remarks about Haiti titled The Senility Defense: Pat Robertson's Trial In The Court Of Public Opinion. 

Rut! Rabbit! Rut!

Just in time for Easter, Bryan Fischer talks about bunnies and black people, while exhibiting a bit of penis envy and eliciting boredom.


Black People Rut Like Rabbits

"Welfare has destroyed the African-American family by telling young black women that husbands and fathers are unnecessary and obsolete. Welfare has subsidized illegitimacy by offering financial rewards to women who have more children out of wedlock. We have incentivized fornication rather than marriage, and it’s no wonder we are now awash in the disastrous social consequences of people who rut like rabbits." - American Family Association spokesbigot Bryan Fischer

We all know that Bryan I-am-not-a-hate-group Fischer hates gays, native Americans, immigrants, and feminists, so his comment about African-American welfare moms should not be surprising. His timing, however, may be a bit off, unless his intention was to equate Easter's Peter Cottontail with a deadbeat dad.   

One problem with Fischer's statement is his passion for the prurient: for someone so seemingly virtuous, he dwells on the subject of sex more than Howard Stern. In fact, Fischer reminds me of John Powers' character, Felix the Filth Fiend Lindor,* who "had enough dirt in his mind to apply for statehood." I could start on the subject of penis envy, but don't have the space or the time. Suffice it to say Fischer's compensating: every group/stereotype that he targets has more sex than he could ever dream of. Encouraging sex of any kind reminds him of his shortcomings as a straight white male.


Another problem is that his sociopathic tendencies are so strong you wonder if he has actually liked anyone in his past. Even he admits that he is the real reason the Southern Poverty Law Center labeled the American Family Association a hate group. Ever the iconoclast, he eschews the rules of hunting his wild enemies in a group, choosing to target whole groups by himself: gays, feminists, Native Americans, African Americans, progressive Christians. 


Now his prey is the African American welfare mom: "we have incentivized fornication." The only thing new about Fischer's philosophy is the word "incentivized" - it's not in any dictionary, but Fischer needed to sound scientific in his rant. Unfortunately, the debate about welfare moms has been around for decades and not even Ann Coulter has come up with anything new.** Ever the chauvinist, Fischer never once mentions shiftless deadbeat dads or abusive husbands - those jerks the welfare moms never want to see again. They are left in the shadows (but are more real than all the fictional gay black men who lure them away from fatherhood). Meanwhile, Fischer drums away at the economic drain upon good, virtuous family-values (and obviously sexless) Christians. 


When reports of his racist comments caused some stir in the internet media, he shot back:

I was commenting on the effect of our misguided welfare policies across the board, and was not singling out the African-American community in particular, although the consequences of our disastrous welfare policies are felt most acutely there. I was speaking generally to the fact that fallen human nature is going to gravitate to whatever behavior government rewards, even if the behavior itself is self-destructive.

The American Family Association edited his initial remarks, removing the "rut like rabbits" end and replacing it with " engage in random and reckless promiscuity, whether they are Caucasian, Hispanic, or African...Because we are subsidizing fornication and illegitimacy - every illegitimate baby means more taxpayer money for the mother."

In other words, "we're pro-birth and not pro-life, after your illegitimate brat is born, you pay for it."

Hateful humdrum: Fischer is teetering on the brink of irrelevancy, but doesn't seem to care. He thinks that hosting Presidential hopefuls and cartoon characters like Rick Santorum will carry his show over the next several years. It might not.

Bryan Fischer is in a rut. 

*John Powers, Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?"
** While hawking her latest book on The View, Coulter expounded upon the subject by stating that almost all illegitimate children wound up becoming criminals. 

American Putz: Is FOX Going To Hell Riding A Very Happy Horse?

"It's Like Getting Hate Mail From Hitler"

I was scared. All forty of us were. We went from the showers through the foot disinfectant and into the cold, subterranean vault of tile walls and floor. There were no windows, which was just as well because we were all naked. I was fourteen and, with the exception of my father, I had never seen naked men. Or naked boys called “men.”

No, this was not Auschwitz. Instead, it was the first day of swimming class in my Catholic college prep school. It was then that I sadly realized: all men are not created equal. And that keeping this knowledge from young "men" (like me, at least) was criminal.

Likewise for getting a hissy-fit over a male mammal function.

Last Sunday, FOX aired its episode of American Dad, titled Never Look a Smith Horse In The Mouth. The animated program is definitely adult in content in that it has scenes and references that children would not comprehend: its send off of "The Rapture", Jesus meeting Sam in a bar to tell him that the Anti-Christ has taken Francine and an episode titled "Fake Jesus." One of the most notable was when Roger the alien talks about Christianity:

Roger: Oh, I love your religion ... for the crazy! Virgin birth. Water into wine. It's like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music.

But this time, the program really pushed the envelope with a scene implying the masturbation of a horse! The Parent's Television Council is `now starting to get American Dad punished by the FCC since it thinks the episode "depicted scenes of a man masturbating a horse. " Explicit bestiality!! So how does the creator of American Dad and Family Guy, Seth MacFarlane, take all the criticism?

"That’s like getting hate mail from Hitler. They’re literally terrible human beings. I've read their newsletter, I've visited their website, and they're just rotten to the core. For an organization that prides itself on Christian values—I mean, I'm an atheist, so what do I know ?—they spend their entire day hating people."

BTW, a poll was taken and 40% of those polled thought the scene was harmless and very funny.

Now here's the primary attack: From PTC:

A broadcast television network aired an animated program on a Sunday evening when children were in the audience, and the program featured a man masturbating a horse," said Tim Winter, president of the PTC. "Up until now, I never imagined that those exact words could ever be spoken in that particular order. But sadly, here we are.

Fox declined to comment on the backlash.

I wish I had a copy of the aforementioned scene, but the only one you can view is on the PTC's site HERE. Do you see Stan actually touch the horse's penis and stroke it? No. Is masturbation implied? Yes. Implied. And to the people of the PTC, implying masturbation is just as bad as the act itself. Imagining sex is just as bad as the act itself. And with all that imagining and implying going on, the PTC exploits people's assumptions that something wrong happened.

The PTC is trying to penalize Fox and MacFarlane due to implications and not actual fact. They are also arguing that since American Dad airs at 9:30PM, it violates the law that says more adult content must be shown after 10:00PM.

A question: just where does bestiality come in on all of this? The horse may have ended the episode very happy, but did Stan get pleasure out of it? Obviously not. And if Stan didn't derive any pleasure, is there, in fact, any bestiality going on at all?

There wasn't. The PTC wants you to think that. They also do not want you to see a mammalian appendage ever again, unless you have to.

Like when you're in swimming class.

Hey Kids! It's Time For Tony Perkins' Fear and Confusion Show: ENDA's a DRAG!

Tony Perkins, the endearing don't-I-look-like-a-choirboy? president of Family Research Council is sizzling over ENDA - the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. He thinks that men will come to work draped in hot pink feather boas and secretaries (his term) will be sporting fake mustaches and sideburns. But most of all, he's bent out of shape because of Amanda Simpson's appointment as Senior Technical Advisor to the Commerce Department.

Of course, it makes no difference to people like Perkins that Simpson is almost overqualified for the job: she underwent her sex change over ten years ago while working in Tucson for Raytheon Missile Systems as Deputy Director. BTW: Raytheon is the world's largest producer of guided missiles and the majority of its revenue ($20 billion per annum) is from defense contracts, giving Simpson one hell of a resume (and Perkins one hell of a headache - he can't say she isn't qualified!)

It also doesn't make any difference to Perkins that ENDA has been introduced in every Congress since 1994 (with the exception of 2005-2007 under George W. Bush). Or that the primary goal of ENDA is to curb discrimination in the workplace. Pehaps Tony Perkins thinks he's a prophet of decaying morals: "everyone" will be "potentially" "forced" to hire homosexuals and transgendered people. So the Perkins dog and pony show begins:

From FRC Action Alert:

Stop Obama's Crossdresser Protection Bill

"...the Obama Administration dropped another bombshell in its agenda to radicalize America by appointing its first openly "transgender" person to a high federal post.

The day after Simpson began work, The New York Times reported that the main website advertising jobs with the federal government now says there will be no "discrimination" based on "gender identity"-even though Congress has never passed a law saying that.

This new policy applies only to the federal government. But there is a bill being considered in Congress, the so-called "Employment Non-Discrimination Act" (ENDA), which would require every employer in America to open every position to homosexuals (by making "sexual orientation" a protected category) and "transgenders" (by protecting "gender identity").

The problem with Tony Perkins' harangue is that the current bill under consideration prohibits employers with 15 or more employees from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. And exceptions are made for religious organizations, non-profit membership-only clubs and the military (currently covered under DADT). He frequently engenders fear by confusing his faithful, making them think that drag shows will be performed at every company Christmas party. Perkins also inundates the reader with buzz words in his petition to Congress (to be signed by every Right-thinking American in the country):

Dear Members of Congress and President Obama,

Please do not tarnish the legacy of the Civil Rights Movement by treating a person's chosen sexual behaviors or their gender self-identification as a protected category in the nation's civil rights laws. The choice to engage in homosexual conduct and the choice to adopt a "transgender" identity (sex change or cross-dressing) are not equivalent to the established (and immutable) protected categories of one's race and biological sex, nor are they protected by the Constitution (as is the freedom of religion, also a protected category).

I urge you to oppose the "Employment Non-Discrimination Act," known as "ENDA," and not to add "sexual orientation" or "gender identity" to America's civil rights laws.

And his "Action Alert" states:

All American employers including Christian owned businesses and potentially Christian ministries would be affected.

Don't let Congress and President Obama force American employers to hire homosexuals, transsexuals, and cross-dressers.

Since he brought up the Civil Rights Movement, is it permissible to ask Mr. Perkins which side of the Movement he would have been on if he was time-warped back to the 60s? A southerner with traditional family values? Take a guess.

Perkins is obviously confused on several points: "Christian ministries" are exempt from the bill and transgender does not necessarily mean "cross-dressers." And if he still wants to go there, studies have shown that most "cross-dressers" are heterosexual men.*

Fear and confusion.

That's the Family Research Council way.

*Docter, Richard F., Prince, Virginia (1997). Transvestism: A survey of 1032 cross-dressers. Archives of Sexual Behavior 26(6), 589-605.

Viva MEXICO CITY! The Catholic Church's New Satan!

Changing The Definition Of Marriage!!

Mexico City: the eighth richest city in the world, home to one of the world's largest GDPs, capital of the world's second largest Roman Catholic Church enclave is about to become the new Satan to the Vatican. Today, December 22, Marcelo Ebrard, Head of Government of the Federal District (loosely translated in the US as "mayor" but with considerably more national power) will be signing a bill of total equality for same-sex marriages:

Pam's House Blend:

The bill calls for changing the definition of marriage in the city's civil code. Marriage is currently defined as the union of a man and a woman. The new definition will be "the free uniting of two people."

The change would allow same-sex couples to adopt children, apply for bank loans together, inherit wealth and be included in the insurance policies of their spouse, rights they were denied under civil unions allowed in the city. ...

wikipedia:

The 2000 census reported that Mexico had some 101,456,786 Catholics among the population aged five and above, which equates to around 91% of the total population, making the second largest Roman Catholic country in the world after Brazil.

LGBT community:

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) rights in Mexico have expanded in recent years, in keeping with worldwide legal trends.

...[However]The social environment in most of Mexico remains repressive, and often dangerous. Machista ideals of manly appearance and behavior contribute to extreme prejudices against LGBT people, especially effeminate men, and often to violence against them. Lack of interest in investigating such cases is common and police often assumes that homosexuals are responsible for the attacks against them. The Roman Catholic teaching that homosexuality is a sin further contributes to intolerance, and is seen to provide moral sanction for mistreatment.

But the capitulation of Mexico City to justice and tolerance will sound a loud alarm to the Catholic Church: Pope Benny will not be amused. Prior to this, he called Mexico a country that has been "forged over the centuries in a fruitful relationship with the message of salvation proclaimed by the Catholic Church."And as Mexico City goes, so will the rest of the country - eventually taking away much of the church's hold on the country ...and its money.

The Vatican must act quickly on this one - and diplomatically. It can't exactly call Mexico City a commie-pinko hot-bed of leftist lust and depravity yet it must support Mexico's hinterlands and its overall intolerance of gays.

This should be an interesting week. And fun, too!

Oral Roberts Gets Taken By God While Rod Parsley Gets Taken To The Cleaners

As a tribute to the late Oral Roberts, Rod Parsley decided to make a plea for money because the supernatural was involved in his shaky finances. It was Oral Roberts who told his TV flock that "God was going to call me back" if he didn't raise $8m for his ministry. He actually raised the money on that line (one donor gave $1m).

Parsley's request has been smaller, but no less theatrical: "Will you help me take back what the devil stole?" The problem with Parsley's request is that the "devil" in this case was a two-year-old whose parents won a $3m law suit against World Harvest Ministries because he was disciplined way too harshly at Parsley's Church's day care center ("Cuddle Care")

... and beaten by the same man who years earlier was accused of the same abuse in the same place! Rod Parsley is evidently not a good judge of character. In the first incident, Richard Vaughan, an employee of the school, but with no background or license to teach, insisted that the child received a skull fracture in a tussle with another two-year-old!

from Right Wing Watch:

The ruling stated that "Vaughan's trial testimony regarding the incident was inconsistent both with previous accounts he gave and with the testimony of other witnesses" and that nobody from WHC even inquired about any injuries supposedly suffered by the other child (E.Y.) and that "E.Y.'s father insisted his son had not collided with Z.C. and had not been injured in any incident with Z.C."

And as horrific as that incident might seem, the Faietas (parents of the child in the lawsuit) found out that trying to approach Parsley or anyone else at World Harvest Ministries would result in a total shutout:

When, however, Lacey Faieta returned to WHC two days later and attempted to meet and discuss the matter with Jack Johnson, WHC's headmaster, he refused, telling her he had been advised not to speak with the Faietas. The next week WHC sent the Faietas a letter ordering them not to come on the property and threatening them with criminal prosecution for trespass if they returned to the school. The letter contained no exceptions and provided the Faietas with no means to schedule any further meetings with WHC personnel. The Faietas received no further communication from WHC.

For more detailed coverage, read Pam's House Blend ("The Devil Stole Rod Parsley's Brain") or Right Wing Watch.

Oral Roberts was the founder of the "prosperity gospel" game and was eulogized by the likes of Pat Robertson and Joel Osteen. He was also one of the leaders of Christofascism and through his school, ORU (Oral Roberts University) gave us such outstanding Christian leaders as Ted Haggard, Kathie Lee Gifford, Kenneth Copeland, Michele Bachmann and Ned Flanders.

So now that Oral Roberts is dead, who is going to take the mantle of "world's greatest moralizing moron?" My bets are on Pat Robertson. True, he does not pronounce the word "anus" like Roberts did ("ah-nus") and it's more than likely that Robertson will be declared totally senile by his son Gordon, but Robertson is more well-known than his son and after his passing, my bets will be on Franklin Graham, Billy Graham's son and stern Fundamentalist friend to non other than the Divine Sarah (no, not Bernhardt, but Palin.)

Then again, the title of "world's greatest moalizing moron" might just go to Rod Parsley. After all, calling a justifiable child abuse settlement a "demonically inspired financial attack," keeping a child abuser in his employ at the same position after a serious attack, telling his congregation that the USA was founded in order to eradicate Islam and spewing militaristic phrases that hint of religious intolerance and violence, well, those actions might be construed as both moralizing and stupid.

Of course, the race is still running and there are more Ted Haggards and Jimmy Swaggarts to be found out.

Stay tuned...