Robertson Redux: Listen Kid, I Love You Even Though You're An Abomination!

It's a wonder that gay Americans are as patient as they are with some of these Religious Right wingers 

- Cenk Uygur, The Young Turks

Patient? Sorry Cenk, not me.  

I have a Google Blog Alert for Pat Robertson giving me the latest news and comments about our illustrious Religious Right Leader, so I was surprised to see that blog roundup smny.net was running comments on a piece that occurred 1 year ago. Then I read the comments. Take two:

Pat Robertson makes me feel ashamed of being a human being

and the more pertinent:

WOW The sad part is people believe this sh*t.

THE SAD PART

Asking for Pat Robertson's advice is like asking a parrot for directions to the nearest hospital: you might get an answer, just not the one you need right now.  Of course, Robertson is always full of it. Advice, that is. Ask me what else he's full of some other time. His book, Bring It On, is chock full of wisdom and knowledge no Christian household should be without. 

For example:

Just what is Islam and why do those people hate Americans so much?

Muhammad claimed to have had a series of dreams and visions in which a being he called "Allah," who was the moon god among the deities in Mecca, a city in Saudi Arabia where Muhammad's father was the keeper of three hundred sixty stones, including a black stone which was probably a piece of meteor... The moon god (the symbol of Islam is a crescent moon) supposedly appeared to Muhammad and revealed to him the tenets of Islam...The name [Koran] means "recitations," possibly because it was meant to be read aloud, but more likely because it was delivered orally by Muhammad to his friends, who wrote it down.

Huh?? WTF!?! Bring It On is proof that Robertson's senile imagination took hold at least  seven years ago (some say much earlier - about 1988 when he ran for President). For starters,  Islam is an Abrahamic religion and follows closely the precepts of Judaism in that it recognizes Adam, Abraham, Moses and (from Christianity) Jesus. The Jews were known as The People of the Book and the Bible was greatly revered and respected. The history of Muhammad's father is not known. Wherever Robertson got the keeper of the stones bit is anyone's guess. "Allah" is probably derived from Aramaic and means "one, incomparable God." The "moon god" did not appear and reveal secrets to Muhammad, but rather the angel Gabriel did. 

One more important note: reading about the Qu'ran will present a clearer picture of Islam's intents and purposes and will accentuate the similarities between Islam and Christianity, some things Robertson would never want you to know. Today's evangelizing Imam need  only a television camera and a suit to look like they're on a 700 Club of their own.  And after reading the Qu'ran, look to the Old Testament of the Bible, then ask yourself if the Abrahamic religion of Moses is still a "religion of peace."

Of course, even Robertson agrees that some of the questions he answers in his book are somewhat strange, but let's face it, anyone who asks Pat Robertson about anything these days is quite clueless. The man never ceases to amaze people which the broad spectrum of what he doesn't know. At the drop of a hat (or less), Robertson will tell you what's wrong with wearing a tattoo ("it's pagan and ugly") to declaring bankruptcy (it's Christian depending upon the amount).

Robertson never mitigates his tone either. Whether it's making pronouncements about  "Haiti's pact with the devil" or feminism turning women into lesbians and witches,  he never misses a beat. After all, he reasons, he's only the messenger of God and God's demands. And he doesn't care what people think about his advice. There is no quibbling about it. Robertson/God has spoken. 


So in The 700 Club segment in question,  Pat Robertson  took to the airwaves to mete out his sage advice to a mother whose question was:

How should we, as parents of a homosexual son, handle the ongoing challenges facing us such as staying true to our faith and following the commandment "love your neighbor as yourself?" This is very difficult for us. - Teresa.

Robertson then proceeded to question the age of the son - as if he knew what he was talking about and the age would determine his answer (Not!)


Then he pondered the idea of there being "real" or "fake" homosexuals by calling them "so called" homosexuals and trying to distinguish between "homosexuals because of biological problems" and the rest of us, who, in his view were "made homosexuals BECAUSE OF A COACH OR GUIDANCE COUNSELOR, or some other male figure who has abused them." Then came the hard line zinger:  tell him the "truth" because "I love you" and  "the Bible says that this is an abomination before God."  

"I mean if someone is on the way to hell, you have to rescue them." 

Recently, Pat Robertson gave advice to a woman whose husband was constantly flirting with other women. His advice? Make yourself prettier and get over it.

I've read just about every name people have called Pat Robertson and most of them banish him to some remote alternate reality reserved for the inane footnotes of history. The problem therein lies that while we should not listen to what he says, we need to listen to (and monitor) the people who DO listen to what he says.


And while there are some who think that Robertson's just another example of a snake oil salesman falling in love with his own snake oil,  there are too many people in America who touch their TV screens in hopes that Pat Robertson will heal their hemorrhoids. 

Only one? That's still too many. Remember:

WOW The sad part is people believe this sh*t.

The Last of God's Ambulance Chasers: Pat Robertson Delights in Haiti's Hell!

Proof! Haitian People Swore a
Pact With The Devil!*

Well, it's happened again: one of God's "elect" has responded to a natural disaster with food, medicines and whole lot of righteousness and vitriol for the victims. And it happened at a propitious time: the 50th anniversary of the Christian Broadcasting Network and Pat Robertson's (almost to the day) descent into the nether world of Christofascism.

As of this writing, it is estimated that up to 100,000 people are dead. The world mourns the loss of so many people. The United Nations, the U.S., European countries are sending aid as fast as possible. And Pat Robertson's own Operation Blessing will be in Haiti just as they were in Katrina. Of course, Operation Blessing was followed by Pat Robertson's own special gift of approx. 40,000 bibles. While this didn't compare to the late Jerry Falwell's gift of 600,000 New Testament tracts to Muslim and Hindu survivors of the eastern tsunami, Robertson's effort was noted - as a rather insulting gesture by people who needed food for their stomachs even more than food for their souls.

I used to call Falwell and Robertson God's Ambulance Chasers: they seemed to relish disasters. They discovered during the Age of AIDS that capitalizing on "God's curses" was good business. People flocked to help their church save them from the onslaught of the twentieth century's Black Death. They righteously evicted sick and dying people from their homes and their lives. After 9/11, they pointed fingers at their chosen outcasts and told their flocks who the "real" culprits were.

Jerry Falwell would be proud of Robertson keeping up the tradition of bigotry with blame, followed by a condescending compassion.

During all the chaos that has followed the Haitian crisis, has anyone thought to point out to Robertson that his knowledge of history is seriously flawed? The revolution against the French took place well before Napoleon III. In fact, it happened before Napolean I. And it was primarily a slave rebellion:

wikipedia:

The native leader Jean-Jacques Dessalines, long an ally of Toussaint L'ouverture, defeated the French troops led by Donatien-Marie-Joseph de Vimeur, vicomte de Rochambeau at the Battle of Vertières. At the end of the double battle for emancipation and independence, former slaves proclaimed the independence of Saint-Domingue on 1 January 1804, declaring the new nation as Haiti, honoring one of the indigenous Taíno names for the island. It is the only nation born of a slave revolt.

Reach back into Pat Robertson's own history and you'll find perhaps another reason Pat Robertson hates Haiti: his father, Senator Absolom Willis Robertson was a reknowned Dixiecrat (Virginia) who switched parties when Democrats were voting for civil rights legislation. And Pat's own CBN was involved in a law suit involving accusations of blatant racism against its African-American employees.

Pam's House Blend:

Michael B. Keegan, president of People For the American Way, issued the following statement:

"Pat Robertson's comments about the victims of this earthquake are reprehensible. Unfortunately, they fit right in with his history of mean spirited attacks accusing his opponents of causing natural disasters and terrorism. To blame the victims of this disaster for what they've been through is appalling. Regrettably, Pat Robertson can't be written off as an eccentric aberration of the right-wing-he's still a leading figure in the conservative movement.

"At a time when our attention should be focused on helping the victims of this disaster, Robertson's comments are beyond the pale."

So whither will Pat Robertson go to in the next couple of days? Apology? I think not. There will be backpedaling done to be sure, along with a note of good ole Christian persecution thrown in, but that's to be expected. There will be a loud chorus of Christians shouting: "Pat Robertson doesn't speak for us!" but Robertson will pay no heed. He'll ride it out the same way he did when he said Cesar Chavez should be assassinated, Ariel Sharon's stroke was a sign of God's displeasure, Orlando would be hit by a meteor for Disney World's hosting of Gay Day and other inanities.

After all, you can't argue with a man who speaks to God.

* The Haitian Bizango societies are based on a military structure. Their members reveal themselves to fight and wage war. These figures represent the power of the Bizango fighters. Their terrifying appearance preserves the memory of the insurgency of the slaves in the period in which these societies were first formed. Some bear the scars of wounds. The heads are modelled on real human skulls. Ropes and chains keep the powers they possess in check. Fragments of mirrors in their eyes and on their clothes refer to the spirit world, and protect against evil. Despite their static pose, the past blood and fire in which they are drenched is tangible. (Flickr: Jeremy Bergin)

HEAL HITLER!

The Christofascists Want In On Healthcare!

LA Times

Reporting from Washington - Backed by some of the most powerful members of the Senate, a little-noticed provision in the healthcare overhaul bill would require insurers to consider covering Christian Science prayer treatments as medical expenses.

The measure would put Christian Science prayer treatments -- which substitute for or supplement medical treatments -- on the same footing as clinical medicine. While not mentioning the church by name, it would prohibit discrimination against "religious and spiritual healthcare."

Sometimes progressives are TOO openminded. Wanting to appease everyone, Senators John Kerry (D - MA) and (the late) Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) attached a small phrase to the healthcare reform bill that may become a BIG bone of contention and a BIG BOON to Benny Hinn.

OK, so Christian Science has not acted in Christofascist fashion in many years, but think of the opportunities for "healers" like Benny Hinn and even Pat Robertson.

Huh? Medical doctors and psychologists agree that a good spiritual attitude has a positive effect on one's health both physically and psychologically. At least that's what aggressive (and smart) religious leaders will say. Right Wingnuts should be coming out of the woodwork to take advantage of this loophole.

So if you touch your TV screen during The 700 Club to cure that brain tumor, don't be surprised if Pat Robertson finds out and sends the "medical" bill to Medicare!

Just imagine the number of "Healing Power of Prayer" centers that will crop up (attached, of course, to your less respectable local church).

All this is wild, hypothetical assumption, of course, but have Christofascists ever shied away from the outrageous? If you've got "pastors" famous for inciting racial tension, preaching that the President must die, and telling congregations that Halloween candy is cursed by demons...yes, anything's possible.

Ed. Note: The above theory is only a theory and slightly hyperbolic and satirical (sort of)