When You Care Enough To Think The Very Worst

Remember Rapture Kitty?

On May 2, 2011, The Rapture was supposed to occur.

It didn't. And there were some very disappointed people. Anticipating one's worst fear can lead to actual depression when that fear isn't realized.





The disappointment doesn't necessarily come from embarrassment - looking stupid or crazy is something apocalypticists deal with long before the impending doom. Rather, it comes because they are looking forward to the Apocalypse with JOY: the promised Messiah will come, they will go to heaven and their enemies will go to hell. Yes, joy ... and revenge. They will also shackle off this mortal coil which has been so awful to them. All their worldly woes will disappear.

Famous moments in Non-Armageddon

Perhaps the most notable recent occurrence of apocalypticism (yes, there is such a word, although not, apparently in today's spell check) was the Harold Camping "Rapture" non-event of May 21, 2011. Camping - a host on Family Radio - and not an ordained minister - had previously predicted September 6, 1994 as the return of Christ, then when that did not occur, he revised his calculations and held steadfastly to the date of May 21, 2011. When the Rapture didn't occur, he changed the date to Oct 21st. After that date failed to bring forth the Four Horsemen, he had a stroke. The latest about Mr Camping is that he regrets the "sin" of being so arrogant as to predict what God will decide and is still reading his Bible for more knowledge and repentance (he's off the air).

Then there was David Koresh and the Branch Davidians. Overshadowed by the deadly confrontation in Waco, the history of the Branch Davidians goes back to 1930 when they were ostracized by their parent sect, the Seventh Day Adventists (who also believe in the imminent coming of the Apocalypse).

The Great Disappointment

But the most devastating (and widely believed) - date of the apocalypse -October 22, 1844, was promoted by Baptist lay preacher, William Miller. Miller's prediction, like Camping's, was based on Biblical prophecy and was widely accepted by tens of thousands of Americans at the time - and across denominational lines! By 1843, over one million copies of Millerite papers and periodicals were in print and people were absolutely convinced of Christ's Second Coming. When the day passed without incident, the entire nation called it The Great Disappointment. So eager were people for the Second Coming that overnight, 16 "advent papers" offered different dates. Factional battles sprung up. People changed denominations. The Great Disappointment had, in fact, changed a substantial part of the landscape of America's organized religion.

Why No Concern?

While the previous predictions of the apocalypse were accompanied by dire warnings (Camping's group spent $100 million on advertising), the coming Mayan apocalyptic date spawned only a tepid movie. Stand-up comedians aren't even giving it much air time, although Letterman and Leno had a few words:

     "The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet the next day the malls will be overrun with Mayans trying to buy last-minute gifts." –Jay Leno   

 "December 21, the end of the world, is a Friday. So it means dress is casual." –David Letterman

The answer to the indifference is perhaps that this particular apocalypse is based on the Mayan calendar which ushers in a New Age of Enlightenment. Two words: "Mayan" and" Enlightenment" are particularly anathema to some Christians, in particular the Christian Right fringe of apocalypticists who have their own ideas of The Apocalypse. 

Indeed, the names of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse have changed over the years (from Famine , War, Pestilence and Death) to any applicable ideology.





Therefore, in a sense, it is heresy (or apostasy) to believe in the Mayan apocalypse.

So for reason of indifference (sublime or otherwise), December 22nd will be greeted with dismay by very, very few people and with a hearty "ho hum" by many.

Combat Satan With Rapture Kitty's "Post Non-Rapture Reading List" - Seriously!

OK, we've had enough laughs to fill a black hole. We've gone to "rapture parties" across the country. We've heard more about Harold Camping than we care to know. 

Now what? 

We can be compassionate and reach out to those people whose lives (and faith) were destroyed by believing in an isolated, totally ignorant ideology. By reaching out, however, I don't mean we should become like God's Ambulance Chasers (evangelicals who prey on disaster victims); instead, I mean we should offer them education. 

Camping, 89, said of the rapture in a May 11 interview with New York magazine, "The Bible has every word in the original language – it was written by God. Incidentally, no churches believe that at all, they don't hold the Bible in the high respect that it ought to be."

If Satan has an arsenal, literalism is probably his weapon of choice: it closes minds faster and locks them up tighter than any other evil strategy man could ever invent. Fundamentalist leaders know this to be true, which is why they always seek out the uneducated or the spiritually lazy: literalism ensures control. 

Victims of literalism, whether through loss of home or loss of faith, need to know that there are minds - accessible minds - that do not talk down to them, give them panaceas, nor promise to restore their faith. Today's biblical scholars, textual critics, historians and theologians are not hiding in some dank, dusty library (although many cannot be found in Christian bookstores, either), but in mainstream  bookstores and on the net. Of course, some Fundamentalist preachers will go so far as to ban them from becoming ancillary material in Bible Study classes, dismissing them as "pop culture" books not worthy of study. An author's expertise, published works, or educational pedigree are never considered. 

But if your minister balks against you reading the works of Biblical textual critic Bart Ehrman, for example, it may be time to look at your minister's credentials. Christians are not known for their prowess at vetting pastors (e.g. "Bishop" Eddie Long).


I've been writing a book titled "Sacred Cows Make The Best Hamburger" (for too long) and I've been able to gather some books that may help the people who are too tied to Fundamentalist doctrines to see the forest from the trees. You read them: they may help you explain to them how literalism/Fundamentalism damages more souls than it saves.


Each of these titles has a link to Amazon.com - not because you should buy them, but because you can read the reviews - and you'll get referrals to other titles. They're listed in order of difficulty.

Kenneth C. Davis - Don't Know Much About The Bible: Everything You Need To Know About The Good Book, But Never Learned. This is an ABSOLUTE MUST READ FIRST. Why? Because even though a few of Davis' historical premises have been disputed it clearly explains two basic things most Fundamentalist preachers don't want you to know about or consider: the Bible was EDITED and its inconsistencies are legion (actually mega-legion!). Davis goes about questioning/explaining the Bible book-by-book and does it with understanding and humor. This book is not a put-down of the Bible, but a thoughtful and thorough analysis put in ways that the average reader can understand. Naysayers about the book will point out that Davis has included Don't Know Much About The Bible in a pop series ("Don't Know Much About ..."). Don't listen to them, because the primary purpose of the book is to get you to asking questions about the Bible.


Edward T. Babinski - Leaving The Fold - Testimonies of Former Fundamentalists. Most former Fundamentalists turn atheist or agnostic. For them, religion was a painful experience and they wanted to rid their lives of it. Babinski is a biologist and blogger about evolution, but this book is not written by him as it is edited and put-together by him. The stories are riveting and some of the "former" Fundamentalists will surprise you.


Gary Greenberg - 101 Myths of the Bible - How Ancient Scribes Invented Biblical History. Greenberg is President of the Biblical Archeology Society of New York and there' no disputing his scholarship:

Myth #50 God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah

The Reality: Sodom and Gomorrah were mythical cities that never existed.

(Bishop) John Shelby Spong - Rescuing The Bible From Fundamentalism. This book became a bestseller almost as much for its controversy than for its content: Spong was considered a radical within the Episcopal Church...and he still is:

The biblical scholarship of the past two hundred years has simply not been made available to the man or the woman in the pew. So mainline Christians allow the television preachers to manipulate their audiences, most times to their own financial gain, by making the most absurd biblical claims without their being called to accountability in the name of truth. (Pat Robertson, anyone?)

Bruce Bawer - Stealing Jesus - How Fundamentalism Betrays Christianity. Bawer states immediately that the first Christians would never have recognized Fundamentalist Christianity and that if exposed to them, they would have wondered how these "men of God" could have "stolen" Jesus.


Chris Hedges - Losing Moses On The Freeway - The 10 Commandments in America. Christ Hedges is a frequent and welcome contributor to OpEdNews. Losing Moses On The Freeway helps show how the Golden Rule plus the Ten Commandments shape the lives of everyday people in America and how Fundamentalism distorts them.

Garry Wills - What Jesus Meant. Pulitzer Prize-winning Garry Wills (Lincoln) is a good philosopher and a very good theologian who brings home the meaning of Jesus' sayings and proverbs.  

Bart Ehrman - Misquoting Jesus. Bart Ehrman is one of the world's foremost biblical textual critics: i.e., he knows the history of the Bible, ancient Hebrew, ancient and classical Greek, Coptic, Aramaic and Assyrian. New archeological discoveries (like the Gospel of Judas) are always proffered to Erhman before most anyone. Misquoting Jesus shows us just how much Jesus may have said and what was written later, translated, rewritten and re-translated. Probably the most valuable lesson on the Gospels and their discrepancies, Erhman tells the reader to read the Synoptic Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke) horizontally (e.g., all three first chapters, then all three second chapters, etc.). It's an exercise that will astound you!


Elaine Pagels - The Origin of Satan. Pagels is the world's pre-eminent scholar on the Gnostic Gospels, those writings which were discovered in 1947 from Gnostic Christians. In The Origin of Satan, Pagels shows that Satan, or Sai-tan was developed by Christianity as a means of demonizing Judaism. 

Karen Armstrong - The Battle For God - A History of Fundamentalism, The Bible - A Biography, The Great Transformation. Karen Armstrong is arguably one of the world's best scholars about all world religions. Admittedly, she is not an easy read, but once you realize what she is presenting and how she is presenting it, you feel richer for having read her books. Of particular note is The Great Transformation, which looks at the parallels of religions and societies during a particular time before Christianity. It's a fascinating study, but not for everyone.   

***


In the end, we all have to realize that religious belief is serious stuff. Writers like me may joke about it from time to time (ok, I do it most of the time), but when belief is blind belief (as with Harold Camping's followers) it has the power to ruin believers' lives. Coaxing believers to read something contrary to their beliefs is difficult, but it may be the only strategy there is to put people's beliefs back on a safe, even keel. 


And remember this:


Fundamentalism: it's Satan's greatest masterpiece.

Rapture Kitty Rules!!

After 78 hours, Rapture Kitty is still on top at OpEdNews!

Rapture Kitty's Home: More Graphics From The Devil and Dan Vojir

Because "Rapture Kitty" became sooo popular, here are some "edited" images that I used for different article. Most of them were simply fun to put together, while some of them are a little bit edgier. Just click on the image and it will take you to the corresponding article.  Have fun!!

 

"Rapture Kitty" Hits #1 On OpEdNews!!!

Proof that Cuteness really matters: I think the reason the article hit #1 on OpEdNews was this pic. Hope people are actually reading the article!

The End Of The World? We're Sooo Looking Forward To It!

"God has given sooo much information in the Bible about this, and so many proofs, and so many signs, that we know it is absolutely going to happen without any question at all. 

 - Harold Camping

When the End Times come, I want to be living in Kansas. It's always twenty years behind."

 - Mark Twain

Imagine this scene:

Sunday, May 22nd, 10:15AM, families in church pews singing praises of the Lord very languidly, with  no exuberance at all. They've gathered in churches out of fright and despair. The day before, a few people they knew had disappeared - in broad daylight!  It happened! It actually happened! Old Harold Camping was RIGHT!!

After the initial worldwide chaos, all those worshipers had come to the realization that they had been "left behind," and their fate was sealed: in six months, their bodies and souls would cease to exist. No hell, but no heaven either. That's the way Camping envisioned it. Why were they singing hymns at all? Maybe hope, maybe habit. The cruelty of it all was still impossible to comprehend: only 3% of the population were raptured. What was wrong with the other 97%?

Yes, it's an odd scenario that focuses on the torture to come: billions of people left on earth, knowing that in six months they would cease to exist. Of course, it's not the only picture of the End: so many elements and permutations make for an interesting (if confusing) mix-and-match game: the Rapture, pre-millenialism, post-millenialism,  Armageddon are but a few. But no matter what the eschatology, they all involve the End of the World, a Judgment of human beings, unification with God (heaven) or separation from God (hell or non-existence) all with a heavy dose of ... sadism. One wonders if God created man just to toy with him like some cruel child: whatever the outcome of the World, somebody, some soul will suffer.

Gone Are The Sandwich Boards

"REPENT! THE END IS NEAR!" When's the last time you saw some sad, unkempt person wearing front-and-back placards declaring the end of the world? Most of them have been retired to YouTube heaven and they've been replaced by young people in tee-shirts with handouts or misspelled signs held by very in-your-face adherents. Today's End Timers seem more definite, more aggressive, and more condescending than sandwich board messengers. Why? Is it because they know they will be going to heaven very soon? Or is it because they know you won't be going to heaven (unless you listen to them and act quickly)? Watch the 40-second video at the bottom and wonder why the young man has such fervor in his voice and stance. When asked what he will do if the world still exists on May 22nd, he is absolutely certain that THERE WILL BE NO MAY 22nd! The force at which he puts up a mind-block to any alternative is unsettling.

Of course, websites like The End.com and  End Time Ministries also exude a matter-of-fact quality about a Second Coming, but they merely act as enablers to a group that is going one step further: naming an actual date.

I realize that calling today's End Timers cruel and sadistic may be going too far, but not far enough for people who actually push for Armageddon, e.g. the followers of Pastor John Hagee. His group, CUFI (Christians United For Israel), actually rallies for the concept of Armageddon. In the video below, the actions of the faithful seem almost surreal: they're so very happy that an Israeli-Palestinian conflict would bring about their cherished Armageddon, they seem oblivious to the fact that they are inciting a war, with people dying in the process.  Former U.S. Representative Tom DeLay looks almost giddy at the prospect of a cataclysmic war.

So what will happen to the May 21st End Timers on May 22nd? Will they experience profound disillusionment? Will they be ridiculed mercilessly? Will they switch to another date? I fear the answer to all three questions is a resounding "yes". We are experiencing people who (badly) need  a vast and spectacular change in their lives and who cannot deal with the human condition, whether in themselves or others. In other words, they will always want the End Time to come in their lifetime: be it in the form of the Rapture, the Second Coming, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse or whatever, End Timers will always strive for an immediate vindication, a current vengeance, a present emotional and physical relief with something as universal as religion.   

Past "signs" of the End Time show us just how desperate people are when they put their beliefs and their hopes for a cataclysmic change on the line:

Mormon: Babylon will be established and fall, Rev. 17-18.

Jehovah's Witnesses: All religions, represented by the Babylon the Great, except Jehovah's Witnesses, will be destroyed by the United Nations.(Revelation 17:16-18)

Islam: the Sun will rise from the West instead of the East.

So what will happen on May 22? After a great wailing and gnashing of teeth, the world will go on as it always has, people will still practice virtues and vices, and history will (unfortunately) repeat itself in the form of desperate people hoping for the End Time.

PS: With a nod to conspiracy theorists: the billboards stretching from Connecticut to Louisiana are extremely pricey. Camping may own some media outlets, but nothing on the scale to produce enough income for the advertising. So who the hell is funding this stuff?