Warren's Big Excuse: "THE DOG ATE IT!"

Or the equivalent thereof!

Rick Warren couldn't give a believable excuse for late homework!

You can read the whole aide-written excuse HERE. Besides giving a hole-ridden excuse, the email received by the producers of This Week show that he also has a staff of complete idiots.

“Easter weekend is like the Super Bowl for a megachurch like Saddleback; this year they were expecting upwards of 43,000 to attend 43 service venues and locations offered at 13 separate service times, requiring an intense several weeks of preparation by the pastor and his team."

Comparing church services to football is one helluva stupid way to start a letter like this. What it really says: "43,000 people were expected to see our oh-so-popular pastor perform!" And who was so stupid to get him so tightly booked that it would have been amazing if he HADN'T come down with something!

"My understanding was that Dr. Warren’s condition was related to fatigue and exhaustion — which affected his voice — exacerbated by inhalation of fumes from the newly refurbished (but still drying) pulpit used in the televised services the previous night."

Even the pulpit thinks he's a liar! And what's with the "I'm-covering-my-ass-by-saying-'my-understanding-was'" bit? Either Warren was sick or he wasn't.

"After initially informing George Stephanopoulos of his inability to pre-tape on Saturday, I put him directly in touch with his chief-of-staff after doctor consultation to pursue the remote possibility of an early [Sunday] AM pre-tape. That turned out to not be a possibility as he had to cancel half of his sermons today, though he was able to preach several of the six services at which he was scheduled to preach.

Hmmm. Let's see. He couldn't pre-tape on Saturday, couldn't pre-tape on Sunday, but Stephanopoulos' producers screwed up and scheduled him LIVE on Sunday anyway? The ABC team didn't just pick the "moments before" comment out of thin air, did they? Or is Warren's staff calling ABC's staff liars? That's rich! Did he cancel out on the show or the pre-tape? Cancellation of a pre-tape is not "moments before."

I was looking forward to the opportunity for him to clarify his position with Messrs. Stephanopoulos and Huckabee (the latter with whom he was to interview live at 2:45 PM EDT on Saturday) to reframe the picture for television viewers the way we had been trying to do on a per-inquiry basis with print outlets by sending out the statement below:

Then comes the ubiquitous one-man-one-woman 5000 years, blah, blah, blah. "...reframe the picture..." A rather nice turn of phrase meaning: damage control.

Doesn't wash. None of it.