Rich: When You Can't Tell How Many Homes You Own!

Terminator Plus Madame? Nah!
But Cindy Better Get Used To Being At The Wrong End Of Publicity!

Cindy McCain Should Have Answered The Question About
the Number of Houses They Own

Cindy McCain: very rich, very philanthropic and very volunteer-driven and ...very vulnerable.

So why isn't she being hunted down like Teresa Heinz Kerry? Or Michelle Obama? Or is she just a wealthy Pat Nixon? Has she even found her campaign personality yet? Obama found hers a while ago. Read the wikipedia.com bio of Mrs. McCain here. Apparently, except for a few "lapses in judgment" (my phrase), the only word for this woman is "paragon":

She has stated that the American public wants a First Lady of the United States who will tend toward a traditional role in that position. She would not attend Cabinet meetings, but would continue her involvement in overseas non-profit organizations and would urge Americans to do the same globally or locally; she envisions herself as a possible figurehead for humanitarian work, along the lines of Diana, Princess of Wales.

She's been on or is on the board of so many charities and causes that she seems positively surreal. She's even an amateur pilot and race car driver! (26 years in NASCAR!) She's the wealthy Mary Haines* of the 21st century!

Ironically, the image that she has built up for the last 30 years may be her biggest problem: the American public really loves to push people off pedestals. She's overdue for a National Enquirer expose. It may come in the form of prescription drug addiction (which she has admitted to, but if the image of "addict" clings to Rush Limbaugh, it will probably cling to her as well). It may come in the form of an "affair" to offset the fact that she was essentially McCain's "mistress." Or it may come in the fact that her money was involved directly in the "Keating Five" scandal.

As to the reason why she has been conspicuously absent in the last week? Is it REALLY carpal tunnel or something more sinister? Hey, the tabloids have to make a buck!

Seriously, she seems like a wonderful, wonderful woman. And sophisticated enough to make Laura Bush look positively dowdy (or does Cindy have a love affair with one-color pantsuits too?).

I wish her luck. She'll need it.

*The almost flawless Park Avenue wife and mother in Claire Booth Luce's The Women.