Happy Birthday George Dubya Bush!!!

But Do We Have To Sing
"For He's A Jolly Good Fellow"?
And Do We Have To Wish You
"Many Happy Returns Of The Day?"

I hope not! We'd be very hypocritical if we did. You're at the end of your run and (possibly) at the end of your rope. McCain and Obama are stealing the headlines ("Turdblossom" Rove would appreciate that - there are so many things to keep out of the public eye).

What kind of presents have you gotten so far?

A Legacy? No.
Osama Bin Laden? No.
Victory Over Terrorism? No.
A Marriage Amendment? No.
Compassionate Conservatism? Huh?
Peace in Afghanistan? No.
Peace in the Middle East? No.
"Mission Accomplished"? No.
A great approval rating? No.
A good approval rating? No.
A passable approval rating? No.
Approval from your daddy? No.
A robust economy? No.
Privatized Social Security? No.
A good image with Muslims? No.
A good image at Guantanamo? No.
A good image? No.

It's now 12:01 AM (PST) on YOUR BIRTHDAY! So let me, as a man the same age as you, be the first to tell you that things can only get better from here, George: you won't be in office very long!

Oh, and...

Happy Birthday from California!



(They'll be getting married soon, so this kiss is sort of pre-nuptial)

and...

Happy Birthday from France! (Actually, EuroPride - Paris)

and Happy Birthday from San Francisco!

We're the ONLY ones actually giving you a PRESENT, George!

We're renaming our sewage plant after you! (It will be on the November ballot!)