Friday, January 25, 2008

Googling Into the "Heart" of Ann Coulter

Like in the oil business, sometimes you drill and drill and come up with...nothing.

On January 26th in the year 1875, a patent was granted to George F. Green for the first electric dental drill. I now dedicate this post to someone who personifies a dental drill: Ann Coulter.

So, just for the hell of it, I Googled: Ann Coulter Charity Compassion.

None of the articles indicated that Ann had any compassion, but I got some interesting results, especially conservative blogs who bristled at George Bush's term, "Compassionate Conservatism," since they felt they were much more compassionate than liberals all along. What is it about Coultergeist's raw bitchiness that sends some people over the edge of decorum and others into a state of euphoria? Maybe her popularity stems from that the fact that she's an equal opportunity hater. Try to find someone she LIKES and you will be looking for months, possibly years.

Typical Ann Coulter in October 2000:

It's not that we hate the poor; it's that every time the government tries to help the poor it ends up removing the marvelous incentives life provides to do things like buy an alarm clock, get a job, keep your knees together before marriage, and generally become a productive, happy member of society.

That sounds so waspish, like she's trying desperately to become a member of The 400. And what hypocrisy! Ann Coulter has great legs (for a "pushing 50 year-old"), but you can bet she doesn't always keep her knees together.

Beliefnet questions Coultergeist:

Is it possible to be a good Christian and sincerely believe, as Jim Wallis does, that a bigger welfare state and higher taxes to fund it is the best way in a complex modern society for us to fulfill our Gospel obligation to help the poor?

It's possible, but not likely. Confiscatory taxation enforced by threat of imprisonment is "stealing," a practice strongly frowned upon by our Creator. If all Christians and Jews tithed their income as the Bible commands, every poor person would be cared for, every naked person clothed and every hungry person fed. Read Marvin Olasky's "The Tragedy Of American Compassion" for further discussion of this.

Does Ann tithe? I doubt it. I think she jumps from one prosperity megachurch to another, praying for that new house in the Hamptons.

I also Googled: Ann Coulter church:

She says she goes to a Presbyterian church in Manhattan, but the pastor's never seen her.

Google: Ann Coulter heart

Her father passed away several weeks ago, so she polemicizes at his funeral:

He hated unions because of their corrupt leadership, ripping off the members for their own aggrandizement. But he had more respect for genuine working men than anyone I've ever known. He was, in short, the molecular opposite of John Edwards.


Now Daddy is with Joe McCarthy and Ronald Reagan. I hope they stop laughing about the Reds long enough to talk to God about smiting some liberals for me.

I wonder what her own eulogy will be like.

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