Help George Bush Pick The Honorable Way Out: A Gun? Some Hemlock? Maybe An Asp?

...There Is No Honorable Way Out For Cheney*

April 30, 2008

Today marks the 63rd anniversary of Hitler's death. Actually his and Eva von Braun's suicides. There have been many suicides done to avoid facing disgrace: one Gospel account says that Judas hung himself. Cleopatra embraced an asp. The tradition of Hara Kiri in Japan is very old. And while many religions today preach that suicide is a sin, there many famous (an infamous) people who committed suicide: Among the famous who have taken their own lives are Boudicca (Queen of the Iceni in Britain), Brutus, Mark Antony, Cleopatra, Hannibal, Nero, Virginia Woolf, Sadeq Hedayat, Sigmund Freud, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun, Ernest Hemingway, Alan Turing, Sylvia Plath, Marina Tsvetaeva, Yukio Mishima, Hunter S. Thompson, Ludwig Boltzmann, Kurt Cobain, and Vincent van Gogh.

To President George W. Bush: Mr. Persident, have you ever considered the way out of nobles, kings and philosophers? Would you force the nation into honor killing? Like a daughter or wife who scandalized her family, would you continue to shame us with your presence? Consider it: suicide as a less ignominious way to bow out, then think (if you can) of that horrible day - Jan. 20, 2009 when someone you know who does not have the personal blessing of God is sworn in! Think of the day when a disgruntled populace finally feels it has the time to place you and Dick Cheney and many of your cohorts in front of a world court to try for war crimes! Or think of the shame Mrs. Bush (both of them) would feel if you were to wind up indefinitely - at Guantanamo!

Think, Mr. Bush! Think! How, you ask, should it be done? Here are some classic ways:

• Bullet to the head or in the mouth. Someone just has to tell you: “It’s just licorice, George. But pull the trigger and you’ll get a mouthful of bourbon!"
• Falling on a sword – very showy and classy. And, like any lame duck President, it takes someone else to clean up the mess.
• Hanging – not very pretty, and besides, it turns you a sickly blue. Not the kind of color you want, being a Republican and all.
  
• Poison – if hemlock was good enough for Socrates, it’s certainly good enough for you!
• Falling in front of a moving vehicle, most effectively a train. Cars don’t count, because 4 out of 5 drivers may want to kill you anyway, but with your luck, you'd be getting that 5th driver again and again.
  
• Jumping out of a window – no, George, not out of a basement window!
  

But creativity really counts for something in the US. You could: Ø Ask Nancy Pelosi to strangle you! Ø Ask James Dobson to spank you to death! Ø Walk on the streets of New York without Security Ø Accompany Jay Leno on one of his “Jaywalks” and tell people you really are George W. Bush

Join these people. Become one of their rank and honor:






























As for Vice President Dick Cheney, he's a little more difficult to convince. He's way too busy shooting other people to shoot himself. And he knows guns too. Just look at the way he handled the one given to him by the National Rifle Association:

He's also too tough to be strangled, poisoned or run over by a train. I suppose he could nuke himself, but that would endanger too many of his corporations (supporters) with fallout.

So I guess it's up to you, George, to do the honorable thing.

Think of the Alternative!

*Please note that the theme of this post is written as satire. Under no circumstances do I advocate violence against the President and his administration or suicide as a viable alternative for explaining the actions of the current administration.

Impeaching Paradise: Why Hasn't It Happened Yet?

The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
- John Milton - Paradise Lost

George bush has made a heaven for himself out of the hell of his administration. His dimwitted "freedom for everyone" attitude has fooled nobody but himself. Maybe he's starting believe in his own lies - and, therefore, his own snake oil. (Stress OIL).

Back in 2001, a pre 9-11 United Nations very astutely tagged the U.S. as a rogue nation. They obviously knew something the American public didn't. After 9-11, George got his dream come true: to go to war - any war - with Iraq! Life was good!! The White House was Paradise and Crawford, Texas was Eden! The Prime Minister of Great Britain championed George. Even the island nation of Tonga came to embrace his cause!

Vice President Cheney was also in his heaven: making deals with Halliburton and Enron so that the war would bring spectacular returns (for whom, was not yet disclosed).

Oh, there were rumblings of lies about Saddam Hussain, WMDs and the knowledge of civil war without an exit strategy, as well as murmurs of illegal empowerment, but Bush and Cheney dismissed these as unpatriotic.

But the rumblings continued:

Salon.com - Nicholas Thompson, July 24, 2003:

Lying about war is more serious than lying about sex -- which is why the president's free ride is coming to an end.

Conservative Republicans like to compare George W. Bush to Ronald Reagan, characterizing him as a masculine Everyman, traditionally conservative and regularly underestimated because of his low-key manner. Liberals like to compare him with his father, who seemed Reagan's tightly wound, Ivy League, career-climbing opposite -- and a one-term president to boot.

Sorry Nick, but, ah, that didn't happen. You were thinking in 2003 terms. We're now in 2008 terms with over 4000 soldiers dead and buried.

MSNBC poll taken Dec. 21, 2005: 89% thought Bush deserved impeachment.

Elizabeth Holtzman, The Nation, Jan. 11, 2006:

Finally, it has started. People have begun to speak of impeaching President George W. Bush--not in hushed whispers but openly, in newspapers, on the Internet, in ordinary conversations and even in Congress. As a former member of Congress who sat on the House Judiciary Committee during the impeachment proceedings against President Richard Nixon, I believe they are right to do so.

From the Impeach Bush Coalition.com, Aug. 2007:

I am giving serious consideration to turning off the clock. Up until now I have held out hope that the Congress of the United States of America would finally come to its senses and Impeach George W. Bush for his admitted criminal violation of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA). Today, that hope is just about gone.

I just read this, Democrats Feel Pressure on Spy Program, in the New York Times. The fact that the Bush administration is trying to get FISA re-written to cover its prior illegal acts should be the final piece of evidence needed to indict (impeach) him. Bush has been arguing since he admited violating FISA that he always had the authority to do so. If he is asking for the authority now, he didn't have it then. Slam dunk, folks.

From the Impeach Bush website:

News and Current Actions:

4/24/08 - Oakland Town Hall Forum with David Swanson, Phil Burk, Medea Benjamin, Elizabeth de la Vega and others. 7-9 PM, Grand Lake Theater, Oakland, CA [PDF]

Please support HR24, the New Hampshire Impeachment resolution introduced by Betty Hall.

The new "Nixon Plan" calls for a flood of impeachment resolutions from concerned members of Congress.

Please call the Judiciary Committee and urge them to join Rep Wexler in his call for impeachment hearings.

Bush and Cheney have only 8 months more in office - four of which will be taken up by an election overshadowing their misdeeds.

What's holding everything up? Public apathy. Their administration created the messes, but now the public has to focus on other people getting us out of them.

George and Dick next January: still in Paradise? Let's hope not.

But if they fall, they will reverse their attitudes towards their fate just as the Angel of Light did:

Is this the Region, this the Soil, the Clime,
Said then the lost Arch-Angel, this the seat
That we must change for Heav'n, this mournful gloom
For that celestial light? Be it so, since he
Who now is Sovran can dispose and bid
What shall be right: fardest from him is best
Whom reason hath equald, force hath made supream
Above his equals. Farewel happy Fields
Where Joy for ever dwells: Hail horrours, hail
Infernal world, and thou profoundest Hell
Receive thy new Possessor: One who brings
A mind not to be chang'd by Place or Time.
The mind is its own place, and in it self
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
What matter where, if I be still the same,
And what I should be, all but less then he
Whom Thunder hath made greater? Here at least
We shall be free; th' Almighty hath not built
Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:
Here we may reign secure, and in my choyce
To reign is worth ambition though in Hell:
Better to reign in Hell, then serve in Heav'n.
~John Milton, Paradise Lost, Book I

You can count on it.

Shirley Dobson's National Day of Bigotry and Politics?

...or a National Day of (Christians ONLY) Prayer?

May 1 is National Day of Prayer day.

Definition:

The National Day of Prayer is a day designated by the United States Congress as a day when all Americans regardless of faith are asked to come together and pray in their own way.

However, the National Day of Prayer Task Force phrases things differently:

"Americans of all faiths are encouraged to participate in the [National Day of Prayer] according to their own traditions. However, the [National Day of Prayer] Task Force [only] provides promotional materials and sponsors several events in keeping with the Judeo-Christian tradition". The application for volunteer coordinators with the Task Force lists the following as a primary qualification, "Commitment to Christ. A volunteer must be an evangelical Christian who has a personal relationship with Christ. I acknowledge that I am working for the Lord Jesus Christ and the furthering of His Work on earth and agree to perform my work with the highest standard of Christian faith."

Hmm...I thought that this country was founded to be a refuge for everyone - not an exclusive club.

This is definitely an "Evangelical Christians ONLY" club day. The inconsistencies in the above statement seem just a bit ridiculous: "Judeo-Christian" but "evangelical Christian" means absolutely no practicing Jews allowed.

Right-wing Christians must use qualifiers: "Prayer" is NOT NECESSARILY CHRISTIAN! If
you're going to exclude whole groups of people, call it for it is intended to be: The National Day of Christian-ONLY Prayer.

It is NOT a day for:

Hindu prayer
Sikh prayer
Muslim prayer
Shinto prayer
Progressive Christian prayer (everyone who is not a True Evangelical Fundamentalist)
Catholic prayer (it's too ritualistic)
...and, ah, sorry but no Jewish prayers either: "God Almighty does not hear the prayers of a Jew" (Bailey Smith, past President of the Southern Baptist Convention). So why would they bother?

Shirley Dobson:, since you're the leader of Task Force, I'll address this to you:

The diversity (gasp!) of America is not celebrated by exclusivity. Freedom of Religion means freedom to practice religion. It's what allows people like Fred Phelps to picket soldiers' funerals (yes, freedom of speech too) John Hagee to call Catholicism heresy, and Pat Robertson to blame 9-11 on gays. However, it also allows all Americans to pray in whatever way they wish, or not to pray in any traditional sense. To imply that the National Day of Prayer is for Christians ONLY is to distort the meaning of an American freedom. If you must, call your group the National Day of Christian Prayer Task Force. If you're not afraid to be labeled "Christian" - it makes things much clearer. Of course, if you want to be truly correct in your group's name, it should be The National Day of Christian Politically Conservative Prayer, but that would be too long and too many of us in the US suffer from ADD as it is.

***

To diverge slightly:

Diversity in religion has certainly brought out the best, worst and oddest in America. When I researched "On This Day", I came across a name that very softly whispered in my memory of history: Father Divine. I looked him up in wikipedia.com and here's just a small part of what I found out about this preacher who believed he was God and founded the International Peace Mission Movement:

Father Divine traveled south, where he preached extensively in Georgia. In 1913, conflicts with local ministers got him sentenced to 60 days in a chain gang. While serving his sentence, several prison inspectors were injured in an auto accident, which he viewed as the direct result of their disbelief.

Upon release, he attracted a following of mostly black women in Valdosta, Georgia. He taught celibacy and the rejection of gender categorizations.

On February 6, 1914, several followers' husbands and local preachers had Divine arrested for lunacy. This actually expanded his ministry, with reporters and worshippers deluging his prison cell. Some whites even began calling on him. One white follower, J. R. Moseley, arranged for J. B. Copeland, a respected Valdosta lawyer, to represent him pro bono. Father Divine was found mentally sound in spite of "maniacal" beliefs.

***

And for another diversion: Happy Birthday, Carol Burnett! I wish YouTube had a better version of the most famous comedic lines in history, but here it is, in tribute to you:

$1.3 Billion Down Your Daughter's Fallopian Tubes

How Tony Perkins' Obstinacy Costs the Taxpayer in Money...and LIVES

Sorry about the silly title, but it's exactly the kind of approach Tony Perkins of Family Research Council (the official mouthpiece and lobbying entity of James Dobson's Focus on the Family) would take.

From Matthew Blake: Abstinence Only Endures (Washington Independent)

A congressional hearing Wednesday by the House oversight committee promised to "assess the evidence" on abstinence-only sex education.

That evidence includes two independent reports that abstinence-only programs have no effect on teenage sexual activity and do not meet a basic scientific standard. These studies have led to a growing momentum in Congress to eliminate abstinence-only funding.

But instead of analyzing these studies, a four-hour hearing by the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform rarely moved beyond championing the value of pre-marital abstinence. The discussion played into the central tenant of abstinence-only education: only abstinence, not condoms or contraception, can prevent sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

Since 1997, such obstinence for abstinence has cost us $1.3 billion in programs THAT DON'T WORK!!

Of course, this is how Tony Perkins sees it all:

(From the official FRC website) Tony Perkins released the following statement criticizing Congressman Henry Waxman's biased abstinence education hearing today before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee. "Chairman Henry Waxman's hostility to abstinence education, heedless of studies showing positive outcomes, is exhibited by this biased hearing."

Let's look at reality:

• Would any teenager ever give up the thought of sex?
• Did you?
• Besides the movie, when's the last time you even heard of a 40 year-old virgin? A twenty year-old virgin? A Virgin? (outside the Bible, of course, and Islam's version of heaven)
• After you've had sex for the first time, imagine being stuck with that person - for life!
• Have parents (or Bible study classes) ever given kids the accurate "facts of life"?
• The only people who warn against sex are the ones who've never had it as much as they really want.
• "Abstinence Only" education either scares kids to point of psychosis or makes sex alluring simply by telling kids what they CAN'T have.
  

Last year, Perkins protested that U.S. government-funded AIDS education in Thailand was giving condoms to prostitutes. When's the last time you told a hooker to practice abstinence? She'll only retort "OK, if that's your scene, how much do I get for NOT doing it?" I know it sounds grotesque, but maybe Perkins needs a dead Thai prostitute on his doorstep.



Seriously - Would you trust a guy who always looks like he puts depilatories on his face for that choirboy look?

Is "Peaches" Petraeus Really a Trojan Horse?

Are there MORE military engagements
hidden within the beast?

"Satan" on War:

There has never been a just one, never an honorable one - on the part of the instigator of the war. I can see a million years ahead, and this rule will never change in so many as half a dozen instances. The loud little handful - as usual - will shout for the war. The pulpit will - warily and cautiously - object - at first; the great big dull bulk of the nation will rub its sleepy eyes and try to make out why there should be a war, and will say, earnestly and indignantly, "It is unjust and dishonorable, and there is no necessity for it," Then the handful will shout louder.

-Chronicle of Young Satan - Mark Twain

3192 years ago - as exact as any myth would have it - The Greeks entered the City of Troy through stealth: the gift of an enormous sculptured horse, which, unknown to the Trojans, contained the military force they had so successfully kept at bay throughout a very long siege.

"Do not trust the horse, Trojans! Whatever it is, I fear the Greeks, even bringing gifts". (Spoken by Laocoon from Virgil's Aeneid.)

Has Bush given the nation General David Petraeus as a gift to shore up Senator McCain's campaign, while full knowing that Petraeus' ambitions will not stop at the position of U.S. Central Command in the Middle East, and might eventually extend to the White House itself? There have long been slight murmurs as to Petraeus' ultimate ambitions. If he were considered a hero (after a prolonged and agonizing campaign in Afghanistan and Iraq and some other military engagementa), he would have the nation's debt in his hands no matter who was President before him, be he Democrat or Republican. Washington, Grant, Eisenhower eased into the Presidency with very little competition. Heroes are seldom tarnished by their exploits. Yes, Petraeus could very well be that stealthy.

Of course, it's ridiculous to think that Bush would have thought up such a scheme since he doesn't have the intelligence God gave a goat, but someone else has certainly pondered the idea: Petraeus - possibly? His biography certainly shows him to be the most self-driven man of his time. Below is a partial list of his decorations (numbering over 40 - including badges).

More wars? Oh, that's just "Peachy"*

Would that this Trojan Horse were just a synonym for junk email.


*Petreaus' nickname at West Point because no one pronounced his name correctly.

U.S. military decorations
	Defense Distinguished Service Medal
	Distinguished Service Medal (with Oak Leaf Cluster)
	Defense Superior Service Medal (with Oak Leaf Cluster)
	Legion of Merit (with 3 Oak Leaf Clusters)
	Bronze Star (with “V” Device)
	Defense Meritorious Service Medal
	Meritorious Service Medal (with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters)
	Joint Service Commendation Medal
	Army Commendation Medal (with 2 Oak Leaf Clusters)
	Joint Service Achievement Medal
	Army Achievement Medal
U.S. unit awards
	Joint Meritorious Unit Award (with 3 Oak Leaf Clusters)
	Army Meritorious Unit Commendation
	Army Superior Unit Award
U.S. non-military decorations
	State Department Superior Honor Award
U.S. service (campaign) medals and service and training ribbons
	National Defense Service Medal (with 2 Service Stars)
	Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal
	Iraq Campaign Medal
	Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal
	Armed Forces Service Medal
	Humanitarian Service Medal George Bush's brilliant idea for a Trojan Horse: incomplete and made of sand:

FYI: The Beutiful Trojan Horse at the top of this post is the one guarding the entrance to FAO Schwartz (or what used to be) toy store at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas.