Huckabee's Pick for VP - BARNEY RUBBLE!!

Just before the Iowa primaries, these comments about Huckabee have been reported by Marc Ambinder in The Atlantic.com:

Owen Walker, a farmer from Indianola, became a convert [to Hucksterism] today. "He's got… he's got heart. He's a good man," he said. A fundamentally decent guy. "A down to earth person who we're going to be able to trust."

His friend, Jim Meadows, told me: "When I really came to realize that he'd be a good candidate is when he demonstrated during the debates that he showed a lot of wisdom in the way he answered the question. The man is a genuine next-door neighbor type." [emphasis added]

Sorry, but I don’t want a guy who spouts homespun platitudes and mows the lawn regularly. I want someone like West Wing’s Josiah Barlett: a Renaissance man who has a good grasp of world economics, is eloquent, speaks several languages, likes Mozart, knows about a country before he alights from Air Force One, and can preside over a state dinner (that’s, state, not steak).

I certainly don’t want a president who gives impromptu back rubs to heads of state or talks to them with his mouth full. Let’ face it, folks: every time our current leader put his best foot forward for a VIP, it landed in a cowpat at Crawford.

And besides being “down to earth,” Huckabee is supposedly a “young earth” creationist (as are most Southern Baptists). Will he have a photo-op at the Creation Museum in Kentucky with Adam and Eve as they’re cavorting with dinosaurs? Will he espouse what is now universally known as “Yabba Dabba Science”?

Will he pick Barney Rubble as a running mate?

Nah. Give me a sophisticated New York neighbor: The Honeymooners’ Ed Norton.

Inflatable Nativity Redux

Sorry folks, but it's the Holidays and I just HAD to put this up again!

The top of this party catalogue ad posits this gem:

“Let them experience the real reason for Christmas”

But what’s the “real reason”?

Figure it out in this oh-so-realistic portrayal where:

1. Mary didn’t have all her teeth and was apparently 8 months pregnant
immediately after giving birth (unless she too is inflatable).
2. The inflatable manager could double as Moses’ little reed basket on the Nile...or be the centerpiece of a floating nativity scene in the pool.
3. One of the Three Kings had a sex change.
4. Shiny brown beards were all the rage back then in the Eastern Mediterranean.
5. The first Christmas showcased the beauty of polyester.
6. Even I thought this display was tasteless. The inflatable manger really got to me.

The catalogue also has larger sizes of costumes for adults. The manger, however, is a “one size fits all.”

How many storefront churches bought this stuff? Probably hundreds. And how many in-your-face Religious Right churches have boycotted it? Probably zero. They never did try to remove that glow-in-the-dark plastic Jesus from people’s cars, so why should they protest a tacky setup like this? After all, this is not an attack on Christianity.

Or is it?

Hmmm. How deliciously subversive!

Addendum: How many of you actually saw something like this? Come on, fess up!

And to all of you DIDN'T look like this - for this or any other Christmas,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Lawyers take note:

Our counselors are “biblical counselors” not “professional clinical counselors” and are clearly identified as such in descriptions of our programs. Our counseling follows a pastoral model based on our closely held religious beliefs and is, therefore, expressly excluded from regulation and licensing requirements of The Kentucky Board of Licensed Professional Counselors.

That's the official statement of Pure Life Ministries - the "pray away the gay" ministry that took in James Stabile. They also deny that they told James to throw away his medication (he's bi-polar). Everyone reacting to the saga now has to take things with a grain of salt because of James' pathology and consistent lying.

The whole thing still smells bad. James' father, Pastor Joseph Stabile, has asked people to put it to rest and let the family heal.

Can we?
Should we?

THE UH...CAMPUS

CNN Breaking News:

“Firefighters Fight Blaze on White House Campus.”

Campus.

Campus. As in college. As in students. As in education. Where in the world did CNN pluck that word from? “White House Campus” is a bit of an oxymoron (always stress “moron”). When someone as dimwitted as our dear President lives in the White House, let’s face it, does it bring any feeling of intelligence when mentioned? Aren’t there times when you feel that Bush MUST be incredibly stupid because he actually expects the American public to believe half (ok, all) of the things he says?

Campus. Plato. Geology. Physics. Sociology. Biology. Zoology. Juris Prudence. Shakespeare. Edward Albee. Milton. Economics.

Read these subjects again. And again. Can you imagine ANY of them – even remotely – when you see our President?

What, exactly do you imagine?

Right.

The 7 Steps to a "700 Club" Lie

Here's crucial update on the post of Dec. 6th:

Got to hand it to those CINOs. They sure can take advantge of situations - and people.

It seems that James Stabile of "the Holy Spirit zapped me" fame was horribly misused in that 700 Club "news" segment.

Horribly.

The Highway to Holiness segment actually happened waaay back in September, so there must have been some debate as to whether or not to air it. CBN execs and Pat Robertson: to lie, or to to lie.

As it turns out, there were several very disturbing factors: 1. after the experience, Stabile was set upon by an ex-gay group; 2. he called his parents to say that he was moving out; 3 his parents didn't hear from him for two weeks; 4. Stabile is severely manic-depressive; 5. he was told that God would heal this as well as his homosexuality and coerced him into not taking his lithium; 5. Stabile's father is the PASTOR of a United Methodist church in Dallas; 6. Stabile's parents are openly supportive of their son being gay; 7. Stabile came home with a horror story of a "pray away the gay" camp.

Tomorrow I will flesh out a plan I hopebloggers and readers everywhere will follow.

Again, stay tuned.

The Joke's on Jesus

Take a look at this one:
http://dj-spyder.blogspot.com/2007/12/talking-jesus-doll-sells-out-faster.html

It's obviously a take-off.

Here's the sad part: I thought it was a take-off of a possible marketed product. I just discovered (through Amazon, not Walmart) that there IS a talking Jesus doll, and a Moses doll, and a Mary doll - all by the same company, One 2 Believe. http://store.messengersoffaith.net/index.html

Now take a look at the:

Deluxe Miracle Jesus - Action Figure Has Glow in the Dark hands - Comes with 5 Loaves of Bread, 2 Fish, 1 Water into Wine Jug. Other products by Novelty Figures.

After looking at the Novelty Figures' selection, however, I decided I would have more fun with the Obsessive Compulsive doll that requires you to wash your hands with every turn of the page on his instruction manual.

Of course, this one is by far more blasphemous:

http://www.prankplace.com/submissivejesus.htm


You have to turn the crown of thorns on his head (which is kinda icky), but phrases like "Don't make me have to rise from the dead and kick your ass." And "You act like you were born in a barn!" are worth it.


However, think about it: which one is the MOST blasphemous? How low can God get when He's reduced to an action figure?

Oh well, for Christmas, it almost beats the inflatable Nativity.

Holy plastic. Allelujah. Amen.

Hey, Liz, You Didn't Sell Those White Diamonds Fast Enough!!

Huckabee. Hucka. Huck. Rhymes with…

Definitely the man of the hour (well, at least the political 15 minutes), Mike Huckabee has, in a matter of several sentences from his past, lost the support of a small block of voters – Log Cabin Republicans. Whether or not he’s lost more (or gained more) votes with others remains to be seen.

He had this to say about AIDS Research in an AP poll in 1991:

"In light of the extraordinary funds already being given for AIDS research, it does not seem that additional federal spending can be justified," Huckabee wrote. [in 1991] An alternative would be to request that multimillionaire celebrities, such as Elizabeth Taylor (,) Madonna and others who are pushing for more AIDS funding be encouraged to give out of their own personal treasuries increased amounts for AIDS research."

Interesting. Does this mean that when I was volunteering at the time at San Francisco’s AIDS Emergency Fund, people who were in the process of dying came from all over the country to become clients simply because Elizabeth Taylor didn’t sell her jewelry fast enough?

I guess.

He also advocated isolating AIDS patients. His biggest partners-in-crime at the time, must have been Jesse Helms and Jerry Falwell.

When Huckabee wrote his answers in 1992, it was common knowledge that AIDS could not be spread by casual contact. In late 1991, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said there were 195,718 AIDS patients in the country and that 126,159 people had died from the syndrome.

At a news conference in Asheville, N.C., on Saturday, Huckabee said he wanted at the time to follow traditional medical practices used for dealing with tuberculosis and other infectious diseases. "Medical protocol typically says that if you have a disease for which there is no cure, and you are uncertain about the transmission of it, then the first thing you do is that you quarantine or isolate carriers," Huckabee said.

Also in the wide-ranging AP questionnaire in 1992, Huckabee said, "I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural, and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk." Read more here:

“If I were making those same comments today, I might make them a little differently."

Ya wanna bet?

Please remember, people, that Huckabee is a Southern Baptist minister. Yes, the very same ministers who advocated slavery (vehemently) then joined the KKK. O.K., my prejudice is showing, but you have to admit that a religious sect that takes over 150 years to apologize for their inhumane stance (the SBC announced its regrets for slavery in 1996) is a bit suspect when it comes to any kind of civil rights.

So now that AIDS is the biggest problem in Africa: hey, Angelina, sell those trinkets, Brad sell that Rolex. Time's awastin'. You don't think that Afrian governments are going to do anything, do ya? Hell, they're just following their leader, the good 'ole Christian Right of America!

Was It a Set-up?

Look at this video from YouTube and decide for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5S38LpMgu0

Try to Google the name James Stabile. Nothing.

I received an email from the Dallas Voice. The event happened on September 7th. Very curious. Why did The 700 Club decide to air this “news” piece almost three months later? What was a 19 year-old twink (sorry) doing hopping drunkenly from club to club in pursuit of his "fiance" then getting zapped by the Holy Spirit?

The Dallas Voice reported a different scene to be sure:

...On both Aug. 31 and Sept. 7, a Christian group has chosen a sidewalk on the northeast corner of Cedar Springs Road and Throckmorton Street as a venue for prayer demonstrations. With their numbers approaching 100, the Christians’ presence has raised the ire of clubgoers and others, and on Sept. 7, police reportedly asked the group to leave after a beer bottle was launched in their direction from the balcony of J.R.’s.

... Lauren Palmer is a psychic who’s been operating a table in front of Crossroads Market — directly behind the site of the demonstrations — on Friday and Saturday nights for nearly a decade. “I’m a very religious person, I really am, and this is like a nuisance,” Palmer said. “Who are they helping? Why are they not helping some of the homeless people around here?”Palmer said the demonstrators were hurting her business by blocking her sign and infringing on customers’ privacy. “It’s not that I don’t like what they’re doing, but I don’t understand why here on this corner,” she said. “I think the people around here are beginning to get hostile toward them.”

Read more here.

And a “purity siege”?? Here’s Wikipedia’s definition of a siege:

A siege is a military blockade of a city or fortress with the intent of conquering by force or attrition, often accompanied by an assault. The term derives from the Latin word for "seat" or "sitting."[1] A siege occurs when an attacker encounters a city or fortress that refuses to surrender and cannot be easily taken by a frontal assault. Sieges involve surrounding the target and blocking the reinforcement or escape of troops or provision of supplies (a tactic known as "investment"[2]), typically coupled with attempts to reduce the fortifications by means of siege engines, artillery bombardment, mining (also known as mining), or the use of deception or treachery to bypass defenses. Failing a military outcome, sieges can often be decided by starvation, thirst or disease, which can afflict both the attacker or defender.

Again with the military moralizing. Does The 700 Club approve of trapping people and laying siege to them, FORCING them to become saved? Of course they do. Is it ethical to lay in wait and attack someone when they are coming out of an establishment? Of course it isn’t.

Should people be armed when they come out of a bar and are confronted by CINOs (Christians in Name Only) trying to lay hands on them?

Probably. But cream pies are expensive.