Coulter On Illegitimate Children: She's Afraid She'll Be Mugged By One!

Ann Coulter(geist) Should Not Be Mugged
By Illegitimate Children!

Legitimate Ones, Well...O.K.

Ann Coulter now demands that before you mug her, you must present her with your birth certificate. You see, in her mind, all illegitimate children will grow up to be muggers, so, if you want to be truly Christian (and more exclusive, even - chic) about the matter, you have to prove that you're legitimate. It's so much more de rigeur. It's one thing to be mugged by one's own, but to be mugged by the bourgeoisie! UGH!

O.K., let's look at her statement on the Early Show with Harry Smith:

I'm citing the real victims whom I'm defending and demanding that this perpetual motion machine of the liberal victimization machine playing victim while oppressing others, the millions of illegitimate children born every year, the people who are mugged by the millions of illegitimate children born every year -- they are genuine victims.

SMITH: It's the liberals' fault, it's the liberals' fault.

COULTER: Illegitimacy is certainly something that I document quite thoroughly has been promoted through the media, the courts, and federal government, as something that is celebrated and promoted by the left-wing in America. It was a plan, it wasn't an accident. And that's why the illegitimacy rate has gone up by 300% since 1970.

I was illegitimate. I was born in St. Vincent's Infant Asylum and Maternity Hospital in Chicago, Illinois and given up for adoption from birth.

I do not want to mug Ann Coulter. Not for her money, not for her clothes (are you kidding?), not even for the pleasure of mugging Ann Coulter. No. I will take the high road on this one. As will millions of other people who are probably saying: "Me? I wouldn't touch the bitch with a twenty-foot pole!"

No, I really don't want to mug Ann Coulter. There are other ways of harming her, some quite fatally:

#1. Call her boring. Ten people accosting her on the street and saying directly to her: "Ann, you're boring!" would lay her out flat. She would breathe her last breath before the ambulance got out onto the street.

#2. Make her date Keith Olbermann - again.

#3. Put Peace signs on every door of her apartment building, making her think that it's now inhabited by commie-pinko liberals.

#4. Tell her that Andrew Cooper is gay. (Hey, the truth can really hurt!)

But I won't resort to any of these, I promise (well, maybe #4, if pushed). No one will harm Ann Coulter. No one will go near Ann Coulter. After her remarks, she will be lucky to approached by waiters in third class restaurants. She will never again be able to get a cab. In New York. Ever. Her shadow will move on, totally disgusted by her.

Hey, I can go further, but even orgasms have to end.

Just a thought.

Oh, and to our masochistic readers, here's the whole insipid interview. Please remember to send Harry Smith a note of thanks!:

Yeah! All The Women Will Turn Into Lesbians and Witches!!! Or Sarah Palin!

And If They Don't, Pat Robertson Will STILL
Burn Them At The Stake!
(O.K., Maybe not Palin if she pledges she's NOT demonspawn)

(From Washington Independent)

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) announced today that the chamber will vote Friday on legislation making it easier for workers to pursue payment-discrimination claims.

As The New York Times wrote in an editorial today, Republicans “should consider now whether hostility to civil rights and pay equity for women is really the image they want to project for their party after the losses it suffered in November.”

But aren't the women they talk about (shudder!)...FEMINISTS? Republicans siding with Lesbians and Witches?

Pat Robertson will be enraged while Bela Abzug (may she rest in peace) will be laughing.

And what will the Southern Baptist Convention have to say? Family Research Council, Focus on the Family? Horrors!! Man as THE breadwinner of the family is doomed, doomed, doomed!!

Actually, he's been doomed for a long time. What the ERA has been telling conservatives for the longest time has finally been written in black and white: we're equal to you. We deserve equal pay, not a rant from Ann Coulter!

Just a thought.

O.K., Ann Coulter, Put 'em Up!

Your Fists, Ann! NOT YOUR LEGS! Your Fists!

This woman just HAS to go down! Forget the fact that people with reasonable minds never listen to her. Forget the fact that she spouts drivel that's quoted second to the Bible by every Christofascist in the country. Forget the fact that to jump-start her mornings she has to pee on at least ten homeless people, or the fact that she has a shrine dedicated to St. Leona.

This woman MUST go down! Yes, she's entertaining, but so is Pat Robertson trying to leg press an elephant (or whatever). To use Biblical oh-so-eloquent terminology, someone must "smite" her. I'm sure that the surgeon who wired her jaw last time was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, so can't someone come up with a prize sufficient for him to wire it permanently? And her fingers. And her toes, should she find a way to type with them.

The "book" she came out with, Guilty: Liberal Victims and Their Assault on America contradicts her own need to be vicious:

( TownhallDaily, Jan. 7,2008)

In point of fact, I'm not particularly critical of Obama in my new book.

Excerpt:

The media's fawning over Obama knew no bounds, and yet, in the midst of the most incredible media conspiracy to turn this jug-eared clodhopper into some combination of Winston Churchill and a young Elvis, you were being a bore if you mentioned the liberal media.

"Jug-eared clodhopper" is not particularly critical at all, is it? I mean, practically EVERYONE calls someone a jug-eared clodhopper at some point in time don't they?

Sarah Palin was memorizing the last six kings of Swaziland for her media interviews, but Obama only needed to say something nice about his parents to be considered presidential material.


A woman who doesn't have any sense of geography, sociology, diplomacy, or the "Bush Doctrine" wouldn't be able to absorb Swaziland's existence in Africa, especially since she thought Africa was one big country. Palin wasn't even dog-catcher material. The right-wing people of Alaska have had their brains frozen for so long that she catapulted from Wasilla to VP RNC pick past them without them having a chance to see how she "governatored" the state.

He titled his keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, "The Audacity of Hope" –- named after a sermon given by his spiritual mentor Jeremiah Wright, whom we were not allowed to mention without being accused of playing dirty tricks.

But, thank God, we were allowed to mention John Hagee, who strongly advocates annihilating Palestinians so we can see Armaggedon, Rod Parsley, who wants to destroy half of the world (but only the Islamic half), and John Muthee, who laid hands on Palin and Shazaam! she became Governor of Alaska.

But the media were giddy over their latest crush. Even when Obama broke a pledge and rejected public financing for his campaign ... "Citing the specter of attacks from independent groups on the right,"

So he had to break his pledge because he was a victim of the Republican Attack Machine.

Well, Maybe a Republican attack DOG - A. C., Oh, how clever of you, Ann, to attack Obama inadvertently by attacking the media! Bravo!

And of course, we all know by now what Ann Coulter thinks of Michelle Obama's style. So, Coulter, put up your fists before you attack Malia and Sasha!

And, people, she will. She most definitely will. She'll set her flying monkeys on them! You can bet on it!

Just a thought.

And We Thought Gay Bashing Was Just for Rednecks

Disgruntled Queen or Agent Orange ala Fred Phelps?

“I have in my possession approximately 67 grams of ricin with which I will indiscriminately target at least five of your clients. I expect them to die painfully while in the hospital.”

(Seattle, Washington) Seattle police say they are taking seriously threats of ricin attacks on 11 gay bars in the city.

The threats were made in letters received by the bars on Tuesday and have been turned over to police. Seattle weekly newspaper The Stranger received a 12th letter saying it should be “prepared to announce the deaths of approximately 55 individuals.”

The person who sent the notes spelled every word correctly, so he/she can't be one of Sarah Palin's followers. Coherence is not exactly a redneck trait. You get too high from shooting moose. It's called "dead animal rush." Palin's followers also use crayon for death threats. I think police have determined that an old Underwood typewriter was used.

Seriously, this is just a hyped version of fag-bashing. It's in the news only because ricin was mentioned. People are bashed every day with plain ole' baseball bats, and few people notice. Men and women are raped. Who cares? Religionist rhetoric kills people from bully pulpits. It always has. So what?

Sensationalism sells.

Maybe we should get bashed with an A-bomb. Look at all the publicity it gave Hiroshima!

Just a thought.

Coulter(geist) fallout: An Ann Coulter Bash-a-thon!

What Better Way To Start Your New Year's Resolution
To Be More Assertive!

Ann Coulter's new book came out today and so did her supporters. And detractors. The second kind in droves and droves and droves. You can go to Amazon.com to see the pro and con reviews. Being the butch-bitch that I am, I thought I would save some readers' time by posting snippets of the juicer reviews:

She's the political version of Jerry Springer - highly educated, but more interested in cashing in via trash-mongering than making a beneficial contribution to society.

She really needs to crawl back into whatever hole she's been in this past year; we'd all be better off. Kudos to NBC for not having her as a part of their programming.

If you like where the Country is headed, this book is for you. If you hate the Constitution, hate liberties, hate the truth and justice, then this book is for you. If you like lies, disinformation, not thinking for yourself, being irrational, being ignorant...then again, this book is for you.

Anne is a Goddess among the mentally deficient. This scrawny, loud-mouthed horseface has done nothing but spew negativity and hate for too many years. Her claims are always based on ZERO provable facts...and her popularity is due to her ability to put words in the mouths of small-town bigots everywhere. If you like her message, you're a terrible person. Most ironic part is she appeals to the fundamentalists Christians with a message comprised ENTIRELY of hatred towards fellow mankind. Jesus was a Liberal.

Waah, she cries, "Deep down they really, really love and know what's best for us all" despite the torture, Katrina, the War, the blatant disregard for human rights. "It's the OTHER guys who are really to blame!" she cries. Maybe someday, with loads of shock therapy she will come to see how misplaced her tragic love is.

This book, Guilty, is standard Coulter, a twisted viewpoint, filled with an uncompassionate and inhuman stance. Underneath it demonstrates an unwavering need for self promotion to cover up a deep insecurity by any flamboyant means available. To those that read her and support her I say "shame" on you."

All you need to know about Coulter is that she claims George Bush, Tom Delay and Joe McCarthy are "victims". Sorry, Ann, the only victims are the people that continue to suffer because of these disreputable, corrupt, and in the case of Bush, dangerously moronic conservatives.

I never knew there could be such a careless, heartless, raging psychopath that so many people follow religiously.

I'm not trying to be funny or mean, but I think there's something really mentally "off" about this author. She doesn't make any more sense to me than the paranoid homeless dude who walks down the street talking to himself and looking over his shoulder. Can't imagine what kind of people call themselves "fans."

You know what kind of fans she has: the ones who eat Obama Waffles while singing Barack the Magic Negro.

Just a thought.

FRC, Ann Coulter, James Dobson and Friends: Lining Up For The Obama Gangbang!

O.K., if the title of this post didn't peak readers' interest, nothing will.

But seriously, the way Family Research Council, Focus on the Family, Ann Coulter(geist) and other neocons on the Far Right fringe are lining up to attack President-elect Barack Obama is criminal. They're not going to wait for January 21st. To mix metaphors, they're ready to kill the wabbit. They truly are Elmer Fudds going after Bugs Bunny. Too bad for them that Bugs is the smart one who gets away. But, like Elmer Fudds, they'll be too stupid to admit defeat:

Today, the President-elect is hoping to attract Republican support by sweetening the deal with $300 billion in tax cuts. At this point, we don't know how the tax cuts will be presented--whether in a separate House bill or as a portion of the stimulus package. The details have not been released, and the lack of transparency speaks volumes.

In other words, Tony Perkins didn't see FRC's name on the bill.

To call for such colossal spending without detailing what our tax dollars are funding is completely irresponsible. FRC will forcefully advocate that families are represented in the proposed tax cuts. President Bush did an admirable job promoting pro-family tax policies through his per child tax credit and marriage penalty relief. Easing Americans out of this crisis should include making the Bush tax cuts permanent.

Tony' Perkin's pissed because his "families" payed less under B**h (still a four-letter word) than they might pay under Obama. The fact that FRC thinks B**h did an "admirable job" "speaks volumes": instead of screwing the singles as he should, Obama is out to screw families!

In line for the Obama gangbang is also James Dobson, who accused Barack Obama of distorting the Bible and calling Obama's take on the Constitution a "fruitcake interpretation." This, from a man who favors the beating of unruly sons and daughters, talking about a man who taught Constitutional law! (But, of course, not at the RIGHT university: not Pat Robertson's 4th grade Regent University but - gasp! - ultra commie-pinko University of Chicago!).

Next, but not last, is Ann Coulter(geist) in her new book, Guilty: Liberal "Victims" and Their Assault on America, Coulter has the audacity to knock Michelle Obama's fasion sense:

Her obvious imitation of Jackie O's style - the flipped-under hair, the sleeveless A-line dresses, the short strands of fake pearls - would have been laughable if done by anyone other than a media-designated saint."

Unfortunately for Coulter, that's about all she can muster. But to her, it's enough. Now, if Coulter should wear a tight skirt (along with a tighter face) on the talk shows today, let's all tell the Amazon for Adolph that we don't exactly think she's fashion Kosher. Alright, sorry, that's a cheap smear. Sorry, Ann. It's just that with your long legs, looong blond hair, and deep tan you look more like a Palomino than a pinup girl for neocons. Please don't go to England - Princess Anne would try to ride you!

So these are the kind of people lining up to do "the dirty deed" to Barack Obama along with Michelle Obama (and probably Sasha and Malia - somehow FRC will paint them as anti-family). These people are scrounging, culling the bottom of the political ocean for anything they can get. Well, fasten your dildo, Dobson et al, it's going to a very bumpy four years!

Just a thought!

Bush Can Read. Not! Who's Funded Ben Feller's AP Article?

(Note: Below are public displays of opinion.
They were not noticed by the Bush administration, but should have been)

Or Is This Just A Low Point for Associated Press?

Truly intelligent people are comfortable with their intelligence. The Presidency, however, does not allow for that luxury. Any hint of a President's lack of intelligence must be countered or answered immediately. Was there any time when Bush and his administration attempted to counter his image as a simpleton? For almost eight years he gave people the idea that he was really Dan Quayle in disguise.

Then the country finally realized that his image was an insult to Dan Quayle.

WASHINGTON – President George W. Bush will be judged on what he did. He will also be remembered for what he's like: a fast-moving, phrase-mangling Texan who stays upbeat even though his country is not.

He stays upbeat because he doesn't consider himself accountable. This article by AP journalist Ben Feller is almost disgustingly cloying and patronizing. Read it here.

There are some points to this schmaltz-fest that should be addressed:

He stays optimistic in even the most dire circumstances, but readily tears up in public. He has little use for looking within himself, and only lately has done much looking back.

He tears up in public only because someone told him to do it (probably Karl Rove). His tears have always been staged. He probably wants to laugh at very inappropriate times. And he's finally looking back on policies that have all but ruined the country and destabilized the world's economy. His last-minute "legacy building" has been a joke. This article is proof of that.

In sessions with policy experts, Bush tends to ask questions that get right to the nub of a sticky issue.

That's assuming that he knows what the issue is, sticky or not. And if he got answers from experts, he paid no attention to them.

You can tell the issues that really get Bush going, because he talks about them differently, more passionately: education, AIDS relief, freedom. They happen to be ones that can be viewed more clearly through a moral lens. That's how he sees the world.

No Child Left Behind, according to the NEA, is not exactly something to be proud of. AIDS relief? For Africa, yes, but only if faith based programs are involved and those programs better preach the highly ineffective "abstinence only" doctrine. And, like Janis Joplin sang, "freedom's just another word..." a buzz word that he thought would get him through every speech, especially when he was on foreign soil.

The man from a land of cowboy boots orders proper dress in the White House. No jeans allowed in the West Wing. Coat and tie in the Oval Office.

What about flip flops? He didn't upbraid tourist groups before photo-ops. And he only hosted ONE state dinner in eight years. He probably misheard: he thought it was a STEAK dinner.

Invariably, though, people who talk to him privately — historians, journalists, dissidents — come away with a very different impression of a meticulous thinker.

Meticulous thinker? One who couldn't spell meticulous. Or know what it means. Feller is really laying it on thick. This is where one becomes very suspicious of the journalist and his motives for writing the piece.

Bush is insistently — some say unforgivably — optimistic, no matter how low his poll numbers get.

Primarily because he never paid attention to the polls, or the public's opinion about anything. He was in his own fantasyland thinking everyone in the world loved him because he performed backslapping familiarities with heads of state. And some of those heads of state were not amused (think Angela Merkle).

[At the Crawford ranch] Bush chops cedar, clears brush and builds mountain bike trails there. The summer heat doesn't bother him so much as enthrall him. He even set up a little competition, true Bush: People who work for him get a coveted T-shirt and bragging rights if they run for three straight miles on days hitting 100 degrees.

He probably hopes they'll drop dead before pay raises. "Coveted T-shirt" is really another euphemism for poor people who will take just about anything. Or idiots who think the T-shirt really has some worth. Or both.

For eight years, Bush has been trying desperately to channel Will Rogers. It didn't work. Will got upset because he finally met a man he didn't like.

Now THIS is the part that really delves into the realm of patronizing fantasy:

He relaxes by reading quite a bit, mostly U.S. and world history.

Hey, Feller - give us a break! Most of the country didn't think Bush could read at all - at least not important PDBs. And if he did read U.S. and world history IT WOULD SHOW! He knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about any country outside the U.S. That much was evident every time he set foot on foreign soil. He knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Iraq before the invasion. He knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Sunni and Shiite differences. He knew ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Israel, the Palestinians, Iran or about dissidents such as Hamas or the Shin Bet! NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING!

O.K. I'll calm down. But this article is a mockery, a shortchanging of the American public's intelligence.

Fuller ends with a "noble quote" from Bush:

"I will leave the presidency with my head held high," Bush says.

Considering the countries and world organizations that want him tried as a war criminal, the last posture would be difficult: or is it possible to hold your head high while at the same time watching your back and covering your ass?

Just a thought.