Robertson Redux: Listen Kid, I Love You Even Though You're An Abomination!

It's a wonder that gay Americans are as patient as they are with some of these Religious Right wingers 

- Cenk Uygur, The Young Turks

Patient? Sorry Cenk, not me.  

I have a Google Blog Alert for Pat Robertson giving me the latest news and comments about our illustrious Religious Right Leader, so I was surprised to see that blog roundup smny.net was running comments on a piece that occurred 1 year ago. Then I read the comments. Take two:

Pat Robertson makes me feel ashamed of being a human being

and the more pertinent:

WOW The sad part is people believe this sh*t.

THE SAD PART

Asking for Pat Robertson's advice is like asking a parrot for directions to the nearest hospital: you might get an answer, just not the one you need right now.  Of course, Robertson is always full of it. Advice, that is. Ask me what else he's full of some other time. His book, Bring It On, is chock full of wisdom and knowledge no Christian household should be without. 

For example:

Just what is Islam and why do those people hate Americans so much?

Muhammad claimed to have had a series of dreams and visions in which a being he called "Allah," who was the moon god among the deities in Mecca, a city in Saudi Arabia where Muhammad's father was the keeper of three hundred sixty stones, including a black stone which was probably a piece of meteor... The moon god (the symbol of Islam is a crescent moon) supposedly appeared to Muhammad and revealed to him the tenets of Islam...The name [Koran] means "recitations," possibly because it was meant to be read aloud, but more likely because it was delivered orally by Muhammad to his friends, who wrote it down.

Huh?? WTF!?! Bring It On is proof that Robertson's senile imagination took hold at least  seven years ago (some say much earlier - about 1988 when he ran for President). For starters,  Islam is an Abrahamic religion and follows closely the precepts of Judaism in that it recognizes Adam, Abraham, Moses and (from Christianity) Jesus. The Jews were known as The People of the Book and the Bible was greatly revered and respected. The history of Muhammad's father is not known. Wherever Robertson got the keeper of the stones bit is anyone's guess. "Allah" is probably derived from Aramaic and means "one, incomparable God." The "moon god" did not appear and reveal secrets to Muhammad, but rather the angel Gabriel did. 

One more important note: reading about the Qu'ran will present a clearer picture of Islam's intents and purposes and will accentuate the similarities between Islam and Christianity, some things Robertson would never want you to know. Today's evangelizing Imam need  only a television camera and a suit to look like they're on a 700 Club of their own.  And after reading the Qu'ran, look to the Old Testament of the Bible, then ask yourself if the Abrahamic religion of Moses is still a "religion of peace."

Of course, even Robertson agrees that some of the questions he answers in his book are somewhat strange, but let's face it, anyone who asks Pat Robertson about anything these days is quite clueless. The man never ceases to amaze people which the broad spectrum of what he doesn't know. At the drop of a hat (or less), Robertson will tell you what's wrong with wearing a tattoo ("it's pagan and ugly") to declaring bankruptcy (it's Christian depending upon the amount).

Robertson never mitigates his tone either. Whether it's making pronouncements about  "Haiti's pact with the devil" or feminism turning women into lesbians and witches,  he never misses a beat. After all, he reasons, he's only the messenger of God and God's demands. And he doesn't care what people think about his advice. There is no quibbling about it. Robertson/God has spoken. 


So in The 700 Club segment in question,  Pat Robertson  took to the airwaves to mete out his sage advice to a mother whose question was:

How should we, as parents of a homosexual son, handle the ongoing challenges facing us such as staying true to our faith and following the commandment "love your neighbor as yourself?" This is very difficult for us. - Teresa.

Robertson then proceeded to question the age of the son - as if he knew what he was talking about and the age would determine his answer (Not!)


Then he pondered the idea of there being "real" or "fake" homosexuals by calling them "so called" homosexuals and trying to distinguish between "homosexuals because of biological problems" and the rest of us, who, in his view were "made homosexuals BECAUSE OF A COACH OR GUIDANCE COUNSELOR, or some other male figure who has abused them." Then came the hard line zinger:  tell him the "truth" because "I love you" and  "the Bible says that this is an abomination before God."  

"I mean if someone is on the way to hell, you have to rescue them." 

Recently, Pat Robertson gave advice to a woman whose husband was constantly flirting with other women. His advice? Make yourself prettier and get over it.

I've read just about every name people have called Pat Robertson and most of them banish him to some remote alternate reality reserved for the inane footnotes of history. The problem therein lies that while we should not listen to what he says, we need to listen to (and monitor) the people who DO listen to what he says.


And while there are some who think that Robertson's just another example of a snake oil salesman falling in love with his own snake oil,  there are too many people in America who touch their TV screens in hopes that Pat Robertson will heal their hemorrhoids. 

Only one? That's still too many. Remember:

WOW The sad part is people believe this sh*t.

Oral Roberts Gets Taken By God While Rod Parsley Gets Taken To The Cleaners

As a tribute to the late Oral Roberts, Rod Parsley decided to make a plea for money because the supernatural was involved in his shaky finances. It was Oral Roberts who told his TV flock that "God was going to call me back" if he didn't raise $8m for his ministry. He actually raised the money on that line (one donor gave $1m).

Parsley's request has been smaller, but no less theatrical: "Will you help me take back what the devil stole?" The problem with Parsley's request is that the "devil" in this case was a two-year-old whose parents won a $3m law suit against World Harvest Ministries because he was disciplined way too harshly at Parsley's Church's day care center ("Cuddle Care")

... and beaten by the same man who years earlier was accused of the same abuse in the same place! Rod Parsley is evidently not a good judge of character. In the first incident, Richard Vaughan, an employee of the school, but with no background or license to teach, insisted that the child received a skull fracture in a tussle with another two-year-old!

from Right Wing Watch:

The ruling stated that "Vaughan's trial testimony regarding the incident was inconsistent both with previous accounts he gave and with the testimony of other witnesses" and that nobody from WHC even inquired about any injuries supposedly suffered by the other child (E.Y.) and that "E.Y.'s father insisted his son had not collided with Z.C. and had not been injured in any incident with Z.C."

And as horrific as that incident might seem, the Faietas (parents of the child in the lawsuit) found out that trying to approach Parsley or anyone else at World Harvest Ministries would result in a total shutout:

When, however, Lacey Faieta returned to WHC two days later and attempted to meet and discuss the matter with Jack Johnson, WHC's headmaster, he refused, telling her he had been advised not to speak with the Faietas. The next week WHC sent the Faietas a letter ordering them not to come on the property and threatening them with criminal prosecution for trespass if they returned to the school. The letter contained no exceptions and provided the Faietas with no means to schedule any further meetings with WHC personnel. The Faietas received no further communication from WHC.

For more detailed coverage, read Pam's House Blend ("The Devil Stole Rod Parsley's Brain") or Right Wing Watch.

Oral Roberts was the founder of the "prosperity gospel" game and was eulogized by the likes of Pat Robertson and Joel Osteen. He was also one of the leaders of Christofascism and through his school, ORU (Oral Roberts University) gave us such outstanding Christian leaders as Ted Haggard, Kathie Lee Gifford, Kenneth Copeland, Michele Bachmann and Ned Flanders.

So now that Oral Roberts is dead, who is going to take the mantle of "world's greatest moralizing moron?" My bets are on Pat Robertson. True, he does not pronounce the word "anus" like Roberts did ("ah-nus") and it's more than likely that Robertson will be declared totally senile by his son Gordon, but Robertson is more well-known than his son and after his passing, my bets will be on Franklin Graham, Billy Graham's son and stern Fundamentalist friend to non other than the Divine Sarah (no, not Bernhardt, but Palin.)

Then again, the title of "world's greatest moalizing moron" might just go to Rod Parsley. After all, calling a justifiable child abuse settlement a "demonically inspired financial attack," keeping a child abuser in his employ at the same position after a serious attack, telling his congregation that the USA was founded in order to eradicate Islam and spewing militaristic phrases that hint of religious intolerance and violence, well, those actions might be construed as both moralizing and stupid.

Of course, the race is still running and there are more Ted Haggards and Jimmy Swaggarts to be found out.

Stay tuned...