Trump And Huckabee: Two More Clowns Of God As Presidential Hopefuls

Can't we dismiss them BOTH "at our own peril."?!!

A recent poll has shown Donald Trump only slightly behind Mike Huckabee in approval for the Republican Nomination in 2012. That's right, "The Donald" has come on surprisingly strong. Huckabee's reaction?


On Laura Ingraham's show:


HUCKABEE: Well, I had a wonderful meeting with Donald Trump. I think he’s a very serious contender. He’s going to get in. I kind of went into the meeting thinking he’s not really going to run. Came out thinking, by gosh, he really is. [...]

INGRAHAM: Could there be a possible Huckabee/Trump ticket in the offing here?

HUCKABEE: Never say never. I don’t know. But, whether Donald Trump would ever want to be seen on the same stage with me, I don’t know. But I found him very engaging, and a very smart guy. And I think people will dismiss him at their own peril."


The Clowns of God

In 1981, Morris West (Shoes of the Fisherman) wrote a book titled The Clowns of God. And while it centered around the politics of the Roman Catholic curia during the height of the Cold War, its premise of religion and politics was prescient: never before have we had religion breathing harder down the necks of politicians (and voters) than now - the height of the Culture War. But while West's portrayal of cardinals as a bunch of madcap, wild clowns was meant to be broadly metaphorical, our current crop of  Republican/Tea Party Presidential hopefuls look more like circus clowns than the red-robed kind. 

The ticket of Trump/Huckabee or Huckabee/Trump (whichever one you believe) certainly makes that point. The very possibility of a campaign duo comprised of a former governor/minister and a real estate mogul/media personality conjures up all sorts of images, the least of which is having them lead the other hopefuls out of a bright yellow mini VW bug. Taking anything seriously from them would take an astounding  feat of composure, like trying not to laugh while being cruelly tickled to death. Looked at as a whole, they are more like "Killer Clowns From Outer Space."

Yes, it's unfortunate that we have to take any of them seriously, but the horror of today's religio-political scene is that we must . Why? Simply because other people WILL. And those people vote. The spectrum of clowns is much greater than it was in 2008, going from a former congressman who holds the record for the most charges of ethics violations (84) to a governor who has a hard time explaining his association with a white supremacist group. But as the video of Donald Trump's interview on Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network proves, they all have to have some semblance of religiosity in order to please the Christian Right with its hunger for all ideologies "Christian."

Let's take a look at the Presidential hopefuls in terms of background, policies and religiosity.*

Mike Huckabee:

Big Loser (in weight - 110lbs.) but slowly gaining it back. 

Former Governor of Arkansas (trying to undo what Clinton had done to the state). 

Wanted to quarantine people with AIDS at a time when casual contract as transmission had been medically debunked for years.

Southern Baptist minister from 1980  to  1996  whose sermons for ten of those years  have mysteriously disappeared ("accidentally shredded")

Idolater of Christian "historian" David Barton to the point of saying that everyone should listen to him at gunpoint.

News analyst for FOX News (a rather oxymoronic position)

Famous for having to "re-frame" positions or outright flip-flopping

Religiosity Index: 9

Donald Trump:

Real estate mogul 

Celebrity/personality synonymous with the term "You're Fired!"

Confirmed "Birther"

Condemns discrimination against gays but is definitely not for same-sex marriage

Considers himself a Christian and is Presbyterian, Catholic or something else depending upon the date of the biography.

Religiosity Index: 4

Sarah Palin:

Half-term governor of Alaska

Republican Nominee for Vice President

Darling of the "common man" and Tea Party

"Author"

Founder of the "Pink Elephant" Movement, helping Conservative women to get elected

Baptized Roman Catholic, became a Pentecostal and was prayed over by Thomas Muthee, leading African preacher/witch-hunter

Dropped Assemblies of God for Wasilla Bible Church because it had a "better children's ministries"

A contributor to FOX News

Religiosity Index: 5

Michele Bachmann:

U.S. Representative for the 6th Congressional District in the State of Minnesota

Supporter of the Tea Party

Famous for the quotes "armed and dangerous" and "slit our wrists" 

Profound believer in the existence of "death panels" in the health care reform bill

Supporter of Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage

Supporter of controversial rock band advocating death to homosexuals

Owner of a Christian Counseling Clinic

Mother of five children and foster parent to 23 children over the last several decades

Member of the Wisconsin Lutheran Synod

Religiosity Index: 9

Rick Santorum:

The only politician to have a sexual neologism coined after his last name (google "Santorum")**

Ardent opponent of gay rights, same-sex marriage, and obsessive about priests and pedophilia

Ardent proponent of Intelligent Design

Sponsor of proposed legislation preventing the National Weather Service from issuing warnings where commercial interests could issue alarms.
Firm believer that the Crusades weren't all that bad***

Head of a very Catholic family, and became a Knight of Magistral Grace of the The Knights of Malta

Religiosity Index: 9

Mitt Romney:

Former governor of Massachusetts

Mormon (so, as seen by many in the Christian Right, Romney belongs to a "cult")
Flip-flopper on a number of issues including stem cell research, abortion and some gay rights issues, veering to the Right during his tenure in office as governor.

Religiosity Index: 3

Newt Gingrich:

Record-holder of the most ethics charges against any Congressman (84) and the only Speaker of the House to be disciplined ethhics violations (at a cost to Gingrich of $300,000)

Convert to Catholicism from the Baptist denomination

Dinosaur enthusiast (does not touch the subject of evolution)

Serial adulterer who explained that his "love for his country" made him work too hard and as a result "things happened in my life that were not appropriate."

Supporter of tougher immigration laws and believes Islam has too many radical elements

Religiosity Index: 6

Haley Barbour:

Governor of Mississippi

Influential lobbyist for firms like R.J. Reynolds and Microsoft

Questionable attitudes on racism****

Most notable quote about eliminating the subject of slavery from Confederate History Month: "...it's trying to make a big deal out of something doesn't amount to diddly"

Supports the White Citizens Council (a white supremacist group)

Presbyterian

Religiosity Index: 4

Add more clowns to the rostrum and the Republican Presidential hopeful lineup may rival anything Ringling Bros. has ever produced. 

Seriously, progressives should be praying for more clowns to weaken the Right and its chances of gaining the Executive Branch of government. A recent poll by Polling for Public Policy indicates that 3 months into the "new" Congress people are already dropping away from Republicans at an alarming rate: things like budget cuts at national and state level and open contempt for unions have not endeared voters to the GOP:

Voters may not love Obama as once they did but they're finding him to be more reasonable than the alternative and that means it will be hard for the GOP to knock him off next year without a top notch nominee.

So, send in the Clowns of God. With the way things are going in the country, we need laughter to help us through all the self-righteousness and hypocrisy that last November has enabled. 

* Yes, I realize this is totally arbitrary on my part, but it's rather difficult to rate politicians on their supposed thoughts as opposed to their deeds. 

**Rick Santorum seems to be a magnate for anal sobriquets: after sharing the floor of the Senate with him for three weeks, Senator Bob Kerrey of Nebraska said: "Santorum — That's Latin for assh*le."
*** This prompted us to respond with a Christian Crime Line
**** In a recent poll, Mississippi Republicans were asked about interracial marriage. A majority thought that interracial marriage should still be illegal.

It's Really Hit The Fan!: How Obama's "DOMA Dump" Brought Out The Self-Righteous, The Insane And The Just Plain Stupid

Did you know that homosexuality is the REAL cause of "dead beat dads"?? Mike Huckabee says so!!

Yesterday, I could smell the explosion of fire and brimstone here in San Francisco (where it was a cool and beautifully clear day, totally devoid of God's wrath). I could even sense the gnashing of teeth, ripping of garments and tearing of hair. And I'm evil enough to say that I enjoyed it all. The Christian Right, in full force, came out in its totally self-righteous mode, entertaining the whole country. 

So what the hell did people expect? My fingers were glued to the keyboard the moment I read the news about Obama, the Justice Department and DOMA. Then I thought, "Sit and wait, rev." The deluge of self-righteousness was overwhelming: so many people were "appalled" at the "outrageous" and "unthinkable" act "radical element" Obama has done, all-but-declaring DOMA to be null and void, "abandoning his role as President." Some diatribes were (relatively) short, others long-winded and others too flabbergasting to be coherent. The panoply and intensity of outrage was - to use their own words - "staggering":

I first went to Family Research Council's Tony Perkins since he has become, after all, the country's Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler of the Royal Order of Righteous Rhetoric:

"This decision by President Obama and the Department of Justice is appalling. The President's failure to defend DOMA is also a failure to fulfill his oath to 'faithfully execute the office of President of the United States.' What will be the next law that he will choose not to enforce or uphold? "Marriage as a male-female union has been easily defended in court and overwhelmingly supported by the American people.

Ahem. That "overwhelmingly supported by the American people" has changed a bit since the Dark Ages (before Prop 8), but Perkins is well known for skewing numbers to the point that some researchers are thinking of suing him and the FRC.

Matt Staver, Liberty Counsel:

“This is outrageous and unthinkable ... Today President Obama has abandoned his role as President of the United States and transformed his office into the President of the Divided States. He has been the most divisive president in American history.

Staver's bluster is countered by the fact that Obama has always been a lawyer first, a President second and a constitutional scholar third when it comes to matters of law. He would not have made such a statement if he hadn't thought it out with all of the legal ramifications it might entail.  The "divisive" adjective may go along with Perkins' "overwhelming" statement, but people are beginning to think differently about same-sex marriage... and Staver knows it.

Maggie Ghallagher, NOM:

“We have not yet begun to fight for marriage. The Democrats are responding to their election loss with a series of extraordinary, extra-constitutional end runs around democracy, whether it’s fleeing the state in Wisconsin and Indiana to prevent a vote, or unilaterally declaring homosexuals a protected class under our Constitution, as President Obama just did. 

Maggie Ghallagher is no John Paul Jones, but she is definitely on a sinking ship: the "crowds" at her rallies can all fit into my bathroom.

As always, Bryan Fischer:

[This is] "a wake-up call to all conservatives that fundamental American values regarding the family are under all-out assault by this administration. It ought to represent a clarion call to man the barricades before we lose what is left of the Judeo-Christian system of values in our public life."

"Assault" and "man the barricades" reinforce more than Fischer's penchant for militaristic rhetoric: it's his evocation of the myth of the masculine privilege. Fischer is being the forceful "man" he thinks Jesus Christ was, all Rambofied and armed with tough love. This gives us the feeling that Mr. Fischer is compensating for something.

And Mike Huckabee:

"There is a quantified impact of broken families," Huckabee said. "[There is a] $300 billion dad deficit in America every year...that's the amount of money that we spend as taxpayers to pick up the pieces because dads are derelict in their duties."

This is genuinely a WTF? correlation. Is Rev. Huckabee losing it? Maybe no more than Pat Robertson who was last seen helping to conduct a faith healing that looked more like an episode of Jerry Springer.* What is a "dad deficit"? Do we now have a shortage of fathers because gay men are luring them away with their wiles? Some women should be so lucky! Point of fact: some women would rather have a gay husband. Totally apropos sentiment from one wistful woman: "I long for the old days, when the good ones were either married or gay. Now they're both!"

 

Rick Santorum:

"President Obama's refusal to defend a law that was overwhelmingly supported on both sides of the aisle and signed into law by a president of his own party is an affront to the will of the people." 

(h/t Joe.My.God)

Yes, the accompanying photo is a rather cheap shot, but I couldn't resist it. Santorum is still trying to get his name re-googled.

OK, I'll stop being giddy about the situation and stop to breathe a more serious note: the problem we now face is that of a circus trainer trying to put his tiger back in its cage. The Christian Right, with its power behind the Republican Party (and some Tea Partiers) will not only be ferocious in its onslaught against Obama, but against anyone they feel is not backing their agenda 110 percent. They've already begun to peel some moderate skin off the Republican Party with their claws.  

When pseudo-historian David Barton recently spoke to the Connect 2011 Pastors Conference, he said that Christians needed to take control of the culture and media so that "guys that have a secular viewpoint cannot survive" because Christians will "chop that kind of news off." I don't think Barton's talking about viewpoint. 


I'm serious.

Mike Huckabee: "Now Queers Will Cause More "Deadbeat Dads!!"

Mike Huckabee just might be losing it:

"When the voters are so overwhelmingly [supportive of DOMA] what does the president believe he knows that citizens in all these other states don't," Huckabee said. Huckabee opposes gay marriage on the grounds that, according to him, it destroys traditional families. "There is a quantified impact of broken families," Huckabee said. "[There is a] $300 billion dad deficit in America every year...that's the amount of money that we spend as taxpayers to pick up the pieces because dads are derelict in their duties."

The connection? Are gay men luring straight men away from their families to the point that we spend $300 billion on single moms? 

Sorry girls, take a good look at that husband of yours!