The AIDS-less Southern Baptist Church

History repeats itself.

Unfortunately.

AP: April 8, 2040

Former President Huckabee Cries

at Site of Ryan White's Tomb.

Former President Mike Huckabee, 85, was among the thousands of people who thronged Cicero, Indiana for the 50th anniversary of the death of 1980s AIDS victim, Ryan White. At the podium, he remarked that he was sorry never to have met Ryan's family since he knew that they were "Christians who were very courageous in such adversity."

"I hope I represent the entire Southern Baptist Convention when I say that we are deeply sorry for any possible discrimination we may have engendered. It was, unfortunately, the way of the times. In way of reparation, we have recently opened the first Southern Baptist faith-based AIDS hospice giving housing to all AIDS sufferers in the community. It is to be called the Ryan White Southern Hospitality House." There was a small patter of applause as Rev. Huckabee (now Pastor Emeritas of Colorado Spring's SBC megachurch, The Prosperous Shepherd) placed a wreath among the floral arrangements and started to weep. Then someone from his entourage reminded him that the AIDS vaccine, U69, had wiped out the disease. In fact, there had not been a case reported in over 25 years. He smiled wanly and was aided back to his seat next to current President, Barack Obama III.

People tittered when someone remarked, "He should have been pope!"*

***

AND BACK TO THE REAL WORLD:

AP Dec. 18, 2007

ATLANTA—A conference organized by former President Carter and others that aims to unite Baptists from more than 30 denominations says major political figures from both parties are tentatively planning to come.

Former Vice President Al Gore, former President Clinton and Republican Sens. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina and Charles Grassley of Iowa, are slated to appear at the event in Atlanta. Among the conference topics are evangelism, criminal justice, preaching, interfaith relations, racism, HIV/AIDS and religious liberty. The meeting is scheduled for Jan. 30-Feb. 1.

The gathering is part of an effort, called the New Baptist Covenant, that's meant to pool the resources of the many Baptist groups and escape the shadow of the conservative Southern Baptist Convention.

Needless to say, The Southern Baptist Convention will not be represented.

To date, none of the churches of the Southern Baptist Convention have ever sponsored any form of AIDS agency here in this country in the last 25 years. All AIDS efforts are focused on foreign countries (mostly Africa) and the promotion of "abstinance only" programs.

Some day in the VERY distant future, Southern Baptists might just get this Christian thing right.

*Author's Note: Well, let's face it, the SBC took 140 years to apologize for slavery. However, they're slightly quicker than the Roman Catholic Church when it apologized for Jewish persecution. Ten times faster, in fact.