The Rodeo Clown Comes (Ideologically) Home To Texas: Glenn Beck Will Live Deep In The Heart Of Right Wingnuts

Maybe He'll Help Spur On The Secession, 
Then Unite Texas To Israel!

For the past several years, the state of Texas has been booming with radical Right Wing ideologies and uber-Christian Right authority over previously secular things (e.g. school boards changing textbooks to reflect a more Christian nation). And with an event like governor Rick Perry's The Response, Texas has inflated itself beyond recognition. To some people, in fact, Texas now looks like a clown car ready to burst.


BLAM! Glenn Beck has just announced that he will moving his family and base of operations to ... Texas! The nation's self-described rodeo clown will join the ranks of Rick Perry and some very serious Wingnuts!

As it turns out, anyone who speculated that Beck might be headed somewhere in America's heartland—closer to the core tea party-ing audience that consumes his sometimes controversial ramblings with an apostolic zeal—was indeed correct. Beck confirmed on his daily radio program Monday that he, his family and part of his media empire are moving to Texas. He will open studios there for Mercury Radio Arts, the Manhattan-based production company behind both the radio show and his forthcoming Internet TV venture.

But wait, that's not all folks! As an added bonus, Beck has jokingly said to Governor Rick Perry that he might run for governor of the Lone Star State! That is, unless Perry decides to have Beck as his running mate on the Republican ticket!

OK, folks, let's be serious for a minute (it's hard, but we have to) and envision what Glenn Beck's move will mean to Texas and the rest of the country.


Glenn Beck will be neighbors with:

• His protege,  pseudo-historian David Barton.  who has been vice-chairman of the Texas Republican Party and an evangelical advisor to the Republican National Committee. 
• Fort Worth-based televangelist Ken Copeland. Copeland is also noted for his involvement in Oral Roberts University (his daughter, Terri, married the former Board Chairman of ORU, George Pearsons)
• Pastor John Hagee of San Antonio. Remember Hagee as the "Whore of Babylon" pastor who put a sizable dent into John McCain's campaign.
• Chuck Norris, of Walker, Texas Ranger fame and thoroughly Right Wing spokesperson for the NRA. Norris has always bolstered Beck's conspiracy theories and then there was this wonderful exchange: 

 GLENN: Americans will, they just, they won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up. And they said, where's that going to come from? And I said Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that, Chuck, or not? NORRIS: Oh, yeah. You know, Texas is a republic, you know. We could actually --GLENN: It was a country before it was a state. NORRIS: Yeah, we could break off from the union if we wanted to. GLENN: You do, you call me. NORRIS: Oh, yeah.

• Tea Party groups and affiliates. There are literally hundreds of Tea Party groups in Texas. 
• James Robison, televangelist. Robison has brought together Christian Right leaders and politicians to secure the Presidency for a social conservative.

Although Beck will connect with Texas' top movers and shakers of Right Wing Religion and politics, perhaps it is the prevailing Texas state of mind that Beck will truly be comfortable with: anti-East Coast, gun-totin', Creationist, Southern Baptist, Libertarian isolationist.


UPDATE:


What's up with Beck and Israel? Why? Is he trying to establish himself on an international scale? As what? Whatever the reason Glenn Beck has in visiting Israel, the pundit's recent address to the Knesset was pure schlock theater: the  "where you go, I will go" Ruth-to-Naomi" quote has been overused, but Beck made it totally pointless. It's in the latest video below. You expect him to cry at one point, but he didn't (no Vics VapoRub in Tel Aviv?). 


Jerusalem Post: 

Beck discussed his view on Israel's portrayal in the media in a speech peppered with jokes, in a room packed with MKs from six parties, media figures and onlookers.
The television and radio host was introduced by committee chairman MK Danny Danon (Likud) who said he is "glad to host a friend of the State of Israel."
"We see that your love for Israel comes from your heart; you support Israel unconditionally," Danon said. "We wish we had more people like you."

He ostensibly came to Israel to announce his future rally for Israel, but his approach was too Beckian to limit his visit to mere promotion of an event. It was to promote Glenn Beck, of course, but why? It's puzzling and Beck likes it that way. 


If it wasn't, he wouldn't need a chalk board to explain it. 

Texas Hates (Heathen) America And (Deceived) Oprah: Rick Perry's Prayer Fest And What It Means To The Rest of The Country

Everyone's talking about Texas Gov. Rick Perry's prayer rally, The Response. Is it a Texas state-sponsored revival meeting? Spiritual warfare? A gay-bashing contest?


Perhaps it's just what it seems at the outset: a Holy-Roller-Only event intent on telling people that Texas is a Christian state intent on purging itself of "evil" (i.e. everyone else).


Of course, the rally is open to people of all faiths, but....

...[Don] Wildmon, AFA's* president, stressed the Christian nature of the event and said people of other religions were "free to have their own events." He insisted his group did not hate anyone, but he said that people who do not embrace Christianity were headed for eternal damnation.

"It's not just Jews or Muslims," Wildmon said. "It's anybody that rejects the free gift of salvation through Christ. The Bible teaches there's heaven and hell. Those who believe go to heaven. Those who don't go to hell."

It would seem at first that a call to prayer by the governor of a state would not draw very many religious for an obvious slap-in-the-face to the 1st Amendment, but the Christian Right is still a desperate lot, no matter how many politicians it owns: the likes of Lou Engle, Cindy Jacobs, Bryan Fischer and David Barton are planning to attend with all the fanfare they can muster. And at the outset, every comedian can envision what the prayer fest would look like: more a convention of wingnuts than a prayer rally. OK, let's try a hand at it:

• Cindy Jacobs might give a lecture on "The Shapes of Different States - Which Ones Are Demonic and Which Are Angelic."**
• David Barton could conduct a seminar discussing "Sam Houston As A Founding Father"
• Bryan Fischer would talk about "How To Build a Wall To Keep Out Gay Immigrant Stormtroopers."
• Lou Engle might  speak on the subject: "From Gulliver To Gullible: Invading Small Third World Countries With THE WORD While Keeping Them Out Of The Twenty-First Century."***

Sadly, this rally is very serious in its intent to promote Seven Mountains Dominionism to the point of making it a (unofficial) religious tenet for the State of Texas.


Just look at some of the other sponsors/people in attendance:

• "Apostle" Doug Stringer , The Response's "ministry and Mobilization Coordinator who has flatly stated, like the late Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson, that 9/11 was caused by the acceptance of homosexuality in this country.
• Former Senator Sam Brownback, now governor of Kansas, whose close connections with former C Street roommate, Lou Engle and staunch opposition to any gay rights has garnered a profile that one could consider far right.
• Televangelist James Robison, the man from whom Mike Huckabee took his ques before he was Governor and who recently spearheaded a meeting to strategize how to prevent Obama from being re-elected.
• Native American "apostle" James "Jay" Swallow, founder of the Two Rivers Native American Training Center - basically a Christian Military Training Camp - and has conducted seminars such as "Demonic Spirits" and "Spiritual Warfare." The particular irony of his attendance cannot be overlooked: the AFA's Bryan Fischer has said that Native Americans had long ago "disqualified themselves from the land." 
• International House Of Prayer (IHOP), a Pentecostal organization with strong ties to Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Mike Huckabee and Lou Engle. It has been instrumental in structuring The Response much like Engle's rallies for The Call.
• Pastor Jim Garlow, the chief architect of California's Proposition 8
• Pastor John  Hagee,  the man who came to prominence during McCain's 2008 campaign by calling Rome the "Whore of Babylon". Hagee's bizarre anti-semitic views (he is a founder of CUFI - Citizens United For Israel) lead one to doubt that any Jewish people will be in attendance.  
• Che Ahn, pastor of Harvest Rock Church in Paszdena, CA. At one time a supporter of the controversial group People Of Destiny International, Ahn is also a stalwart of Lou Engle.
• Pastor Stephen Broden, an advocate of the overthrow of the government by violent means, if necessary.
• Peter Wagner - leader of Seven Mountains Dominionism  and chief "Apostle" (International Council of Apostles) Wagner and his associates are extremely anti-Roman Catholic and anti-Mormon. He, like Cindy Jacobs, advocates the burning of statues of saints, Buddhas, and any other non-Protestant Christian relics or figures. (reminds one of destruction of the Buddhas of the Bamiyan by the Taliban)
• Mike Bickle, who preaches that Oprah is the precursor to the anti-Christ (see clip below) and that the "Harlot Babylon" movement will involve acts of compassion and kindness.

The main source of concern about The Response is that it is sponsored by the American Family Association (see footnote) and its chief talking head, Bryan Fischer. Mr. Fischer has become so virulent in his tirades about gays, Native Americans, Muslims and African Americans, that appearing on his daily radio show has become a litmus test for extreme Right politicians.


The Sum Of Exclusions


Considering what The Response will pray for and who will be praying, is it reasonable to suppose that Perry's revival will turn off almost as many people as it will turn on? Looking at the Texas demographics in wikipedia, seems to indicate that Perry is willfully alienating half of his state: Catholics comprise 28%, Jews comprise 2%, Mormon 2%, Islam 1%  No Religion 11% Jehovah's Witnesses 1%. Throw in the hefty gay populations of Dallas, Austin and Houston, along with churches and denominations that welcome LGBT Christians you have a figure hovering at the 49% mark. 


Unfortunately for Perry, the list of people scolding him for sponsoring the event is pouring in as fast as the Right Wing notables themselves: Jewish, Islamic, Catholic, LGBT groups are coming out loud and strong against the governor.

Critics also accused Perry of using a religious event to boost a possible presidential bid.

"I want to be clear that my criticism of the governor doesn't stem from my lack of appreciation for religion, rather it comes from my deep respect for religion and from not wanting religion to be prostituted for political purposes," said C. Welton Gaddy, a Baptist minister and president of the Washington, D.C.-based Interfaith Alliance. "I think the people of Texas elected him to be the governor of the state, not the pastor of the state."

Houston Mayor Annise Parker (a lesbian) takes a more reasonable and practical bent:
I'm glad to have anybody's dollars coming to the city of Houston. They can come back on a monthly basis if they'd like as long as they spend money.

Now there's an elected official who looks out after her own. ALL of her own.

Pray For Our Beloved Country

When intolerance and bigotry brazenly get together in order to show who they are targeting in the "Name of God", the rest of the country should know the whys and wherefores of such an event as The Response: like any other disease, it can spread. Rick Perry's marriage of church and state may seem foolhardy for Perry, but it is an emboldened move by Dominionists who need a stronghold like Texas from which to strike at local and state governments. 


Extremists such as Cindy Jacobs and Peter Wagner could be discounted if it were not for the fact that they are joined by so many other extremists willing to make America a "Christian Only" country on the road to theocracy. And The Response needs to be scrutinized closely not only for the people in attendance, but for the people excluded from attendance. 


So while Rick Perry and his gang of Dominionists pray for America, maybe the rest of America should be doing the same. 

* American Family Association has shown the country why it has been named a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center in keeping on Bryan Fischer who excoriates gays, African-Americans, Native Americans, Muslims, illegal immigrants, non-Christian immigrants and all other non-Christians in general.

**  And why Florida "spiritually stimulates" her
*** ... and in the fourteenth where they belong

The Most Violent Rhetoric Is Upon Us: An Analysis Of Rev. Lou Sheldon's Latest Rant

His Word(les) says it all!

Though victory against such an evil onslaught will never come easy, it will also never come until the church awakes from her slumber and becomes the visible expression of Jesus Christ, raised from the dead in the power of the Holy Spirit, in this fallen world. The homosexual agenda will never be defeated by mere laws. This war will only be won by a church awakened and determined to stand for the righteousness of God. It is my hope and fervent prayer that, before it’s too late and the agenda of death and destruction has overcome us utterly, God’s people will rise. (emphasis mine)

Rev. Lou Sheldon - from A Gay (Domi)Nation in Charisma Magazine - July 2, 2011

There comes a time when even vitriol gets tedious, but that doesn't mean we should dismiss it. What we need to do is pay more attention to it so that our guard is not let down in the least.  


Rev. Lou Sheldon's rhetoric is a case in point: it can slip by as just another mindless, lying rant, but by analysis, the INTENSITY of the rant can be seen. For example: if the "homosexual agenda" will not be defeated by laws, how then, will it be defeated? By Prayer? Bullsh*t. He never states that. What about his context? Go ahead, you can view all of Rev. Lou Sheldon's diatribe HERE. With rhetoric so venomous, it falls just below Hitler's for the Jews, Sheldon manages to pack in deadly words and phrases which could only be described as the worst of  pulpit hate speech. 

Now, Sheldon has been around so long that he's practically hidden among the groups of Right-wing Christians now demanding the spotlight*, but he's still there. He justifies the point many people make when they say that the Christian Right is getting more violent (and hence, more deadly) in its rhetoric. 


Of course, he brings out the old talking points:


Hollywood is the BIG enabler
Homosexual activists want to FORCE acceptance and legitimization
The Homosexual agenda is sinister and part of it is that they want to control the worldview.
The book, After the Ball, is really an outline of their "game plan."
People are "trapped in the homosexual lifestyle"
Homosexuals are not born gay


Writing That Makes Moot 

Then Sheldon comes up with the classic line:

Let me be quick to say that I do not hate homosexuals.

Unfortunately, this line comes about two thirds of the way  into the piece, so it is hardly "quick" about anything. He talks about "evil" homosexuals, then says he doesn't hate them! It would be hysterical if it weren't so ubiquitous to the Christian Right argument and so utterly lame. After leveling a diatribe against gays, the possibility of Sheldon's NOT hating gays is rendered moot.

d just as horrific are the phrases he uses:

Homosexuals say they want the right to get married and live normal lives just like heterosexual couples, but this is a lie. On the surface, marriage seems like such a natural and innocent request. Who could argue with that? But that’s another part of the homosexuals’ campaign of deception. What they actually want is to force same-sex marriage on America as part of a much larger strategy for destroying the concept of marriage altogether.

There is nothing benign here, no reasonable disagreement, no respect for the opinions or moral reservations of those who have expressed concern for the dismantling of our culture. Rather, what’s being presented here is a plan for combat and the conquest of a nation.

Let's Get Literal


I went to Wordle.net and created a piece based on the words most often written in his little homily. In a very real sense, it came out classic (just click on the thumbprint wordle to read it all):


Of the 2789 words, 798 are common words (left out of the wordle) and the most prominent are the most pejorative:  Homosexual - homosexuality - agenda - marriage (same-sex) - lifestyle - evil - activists. Look for the word "love" in the wordle  - you won't find it - it was only mentioned once.


All this is "picky" you say? Of course it is, because only in the details of a bigot's speech can we see the true picture. And yes, it can be said of pro-gay speech as well, but the INTENSITY of Sheldon's rhetoric is really what causes one to pause and consider. 


What May Follow


It should be pointed out that the audiences for hate speech can be different: people predisposed to hate are more liable to "take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them."* And while there have been relatively few attacks (mostly vandalism) on churches by the homosexual community, they pale in comparison to the hate crimes committed against gays in the past decade: people have lost their lives. Read the entirety of Sheldon's missive and underline the most powerful words and phrases. Read it again. Then again. 


Now think of two words:
righteous assassination. 

* Bryan Fischer, Lou Engle et al.
**Admittedly a reversal of Shakespeare

Little General Michele Is Skipping Gleefully To The Gallows - And Her Mighty Militiamen May Just Give Her Enough Rope

The Men Who Are Crazy About Bachmann May Be Just As Crazy Themselves


(Author's note: Yes, this is the most linked article I've ever done bar none, on a subject that, by now, people have been bombarded with ad nauseum, but if you follow those links, I guarantee you'll find out some things about Michele Bachmann and her supporters in a different perspective - some of them are hilarious, some are outlandish, but all are extremely revealing)

BACHMANN GLEEFULLY HANGING HERSELF - WITH A LOT OF HELP

Everyone knows that California loves its crazies: San Francisco once honored a man who said he was the Emperor of The United States and Protector of Mexico.* Now Iowa has followed suit in having honored Michele Bachmann. There is, however, a big difference between California's penchant for lunatics and Iowa's: California's crazies have always been more benign.**



Michele Bachmann's delusions are toxic and she doesn't seem to know it ... or care. It's as if she lives in her own fantasy world of Bachmann reasoning, Bachmann morality, Bachmann patriotism. Facts and figures are fun playthings at her disposal and she has a wonderful time flinging them about. And while interviewers scratch their heads and say "Huh?", she skips along her merry way sing-songing "I'm right! I'm right! I'm right!" And she sidesteps gaffs with a "ho hum" attitude that is infuriating, like an obnoxious, waaay too perky little girl, a deranged Shirley Temple you'd most likely strangle if given the chance.


Of course, she might do the dirty deed for us - if the men in her campaign give her enough rope. And many of them look crazy enough to do just that.


For instance, Sean Hannity has proven to be the one pundit that Bachmann can count on to help pull her out of tight spots on her Good Ship Folly Pop: as a Fox minion, he dutifully slammed Obama while giving her a pass about the now-famous Gacy Gaffe. He even let her slide into one of her favorite Bachmannisms: "the point is..." Neither Chris Matthews nor Anderson Cooper would ever let her get away with such sidestepping.*** Continuing with the "liberal media assault" on Bachmann, Hannity leveled his sights on Alec Baldwin's tweet about Bachmann and brought in Ann Coulter(geist) to ride shotgun (see video). That might not have saved Hannity a room at the local asylum, but we are talking about a "journalist" who's first big attack on Obama was "Dijon-gate."

Tony Perkins (Family Research Council) has always returned the favor Mrs. Bachmann did for him by pointing out how she has been a champion for family values and the FRC. And, fortunately, Bachmann has never addressed the issue of the FRC being named a hate group for its anti-gay propaganda by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Such loyalty is to be admired.


Bryan Fischer (American Family Association) gave Bachmann the first boost to her campaign when he interviewed her last March, so it's no surprise that he ran to her defense amidst the "liberal" laughter created by the Gacy gaffe:

So liberals, by going out of their way to snarkily remind us of John Wayne Gacy, are inadvertently reminding us of the clear connection between homosexuality and pedophilia, which isn’t the smartest thing they’ve ever done.

Other people in Michele Militia of supporters are:

- Supreme homophobe and "minister" chastised for his prayer in the House of Representatives, Bradlee Dean

- Pseudo Historian and Glenn Beck protege David Barton

- Muckraker Andrew Breitbart

- Creationist Politicians and Alarmists Anthony and Julie Quist

- America's Most Wanted Bobby Thompson

- The convicted scam artist Frank Vetters (about which more should be revealed in several weeks)

- Former Bachmann campaign managed Bill Pulkrabek recently arrested for assault on his wife.

- None Dare Call It Treason author and John Bircher John A. Stormer

- Malpractice-embattled physician and Minnesota Republican Party heavyweight Robert Tatreau

Of course, Mrs. Bachmann is also the darling of gun-totin' men everywhere. And Pat Robertson thinks she's "articulate and reasonable."

But none in her stable of stalwarts can compare to Mr. Marcus Bachmann.


The Marcus Bachmann "Bondage And Discipline" Clinic             


Dr. Marcus Bachmann's life as a stalwart supporter has just started to unfold before the public: even with a voice characterized as being between Paul Lynde and Liberace, coupled with an immutable Christian Right ideology, his large countenance has never overshadowed his spouse. He has portrayed himself as her "strategist" along with their son, Lucas. His clinical practice, Bachmann and Associates

".... advertises “Christian counseling,” and as a “personal mission statement,” he writes, “I believe my call is to minister to the needs of people in a practical, effective, and sensitive way. Christ is the Almighty Counselor.” His focus in part reflects his training, which included a master’s degree at Regent University, the Virginia institution founded by Pat Robertson**** - The Daily Beast

Bachmann is critical of today's psychologists, saying that they focus too much on a patient's feelings rather than instructing them "on the right path." In essence, he looks upon his practice as more of a ministry.

While his clinic has been characterized as a "pray away the gay" venue for his patients, it may be more accurate to say that Bachmann looks upon "discipline" as a method of "reparative therapy."

Both Bachmanns have been outspoken opponents of same-sex marriage since 2000.

Will Anyone Put The Brakes On?


From her Scandal in Scandia (a bizarre account of her being accosted by potentially violent lesbians in a bathroom) to her comments of slitting wrists and becoming armed and dangerous, Bachmann has run the gamut of pointlessness from A to Z. Researching her comments, antics and convoluted reasoning is an unending task, but you can see the top 30 highlights HERE with links to all the appropriate media and actual quotations.

The question is whether or not her men will allow her to become knee-deep in gaffes, skewed reasoning, contradictions and sidestepping issues. Reining her in now would be the prudent thing to do, but then today's Republican/Tea Party is too drunk with power to do anything so reasonable. And Marcus Bachmann seems even more unreasonable than the rest.

* Emperor Norton.



In what can be categorized as the world's most famous canine funeral, Norton's beloved dog, Lazarus, was laid to rest in neighboring Colma, CA amidst a throng of 10,000 people in 1862. The people of San Francisco loved and respected Norton I that much.
** Jim Jones and Charles Manson excepted. The problem with political lunatics is that they sometimes cause more harm than cult leaders and murderers combined. 


*** Check out Anderson Cooper's latest foray in the subject of farm subsidies. He is, in fact, like a dog with a bone.


****Interestingly enough, Bachmann's Ph.D is from Union Institute and University whose doctoral program is so nebulous and bland that an address as "Dr." is questionable.

The Bachmann Files: From Scandal In Scandia To Farm Subsidies

WORK IN PROGRESS

This is certainly not a comprehensive list of Michele Bachmann’s gaffes and exploits, but it does give insight to Bachmann and Bachmannites.

If anyone has additional links, please feel free to refer to them in the comments section. Thanks.


1. During a televised Hardball appearance in 2008, Bachmann told Chris Matthews,

"I'm very concerned that (then-candidate Barack Obama) may have anti-American views. That's what the American people are concerned about. That's why they want to know what his answers are... I think the people that Barack Obama has been associating with are anti-American, by and large, the people who are radical leftists. That's the real question about Barack Obama... I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out are they pro-America or anti-America. I think people would love to see an expose like that."

Subsequent to these inflammatory remarks, the Republican National Committee suspended $1M in advertising they had planned for Bachmann

2. The Census:

The 2010 census will likely determine whether Minnesota loses one of its eight U.S. House seats; population determines seat allocation. Political experts agree that a few thousand people not filling out census forms may be all it takes for the state to lose a congressional advocate in the nation’s capital. If Minnesota were to lose a congressional seat, Bachmann’s district appears to be candidate for absorption. Bachmann has been careful to say that she’s willing to tell the census how many people live in her household, the basic information that will determine whether Minnesota keeps a congressional seat. But that’s a message that’s easily lost in her fear-mongering; Beck didn’t help when he pantomimed flushing census documents down the toilet.

3. McCarthyism:

I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think people would love to see an expose like that.

4. “Armed And Dangerous” on Cap & Trade. Perhaps her most clueless gaff - it shows that she shows uses judgment in chooses phrases for her speeches and flings around catch-phrases willy-nilly.


5. Americorps Program = Re-education Camps

During an appearance of the Sue Jeffers show, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) claimed that the recent expansion the Americorps program is a dream comes true for those who want to rid America of capitalism because the Americorps program is really reeducation camps for young people.

BTW: her son joined an Americorps program. Go figure.

6. Bio-partisan economics same as Mussolini’s fascism:

"Let's remember really what this is. This has a lot in common with Italy in the 1930s and they way Italy dealt with economics," she said. "It still continues private ownership of business but government is in control."

7. The French culture is “going away” 

On the face of it, Bachmann observed, “multicultural diversity … sounds wonderful. But guess what? Not all cultures are equal. Not all values are equal. And ... those who are coming into France, which had a beautiful culture, the French culture is actually diminished, it’s going away.”

8. On evolution:

“There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”

9. On Terry Schiavo:

There was brain damage, there was no question. But from a health point of view, she was not terminally ill.”

10. Fears of a “global currency”:

“I’m very concerned about the international moves they’re making, particularly … moving the United States off the dollar and onto a global currency, like Russia and China are calling for.”

11. Unscientific attack on global warming:

“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

12. Senseless link of Democratic Presidents to swine flu:

“I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out under another, then under another Democrat president, Jimmy Carter. I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”

13. On the sinister intentions of Obamacare:

“Does that mean that someone’s 13-year-old daughter could walk into a sex clinic, have a pregnancy test done, be taken away to the local Planned Parenthood abortion clinic, have [her] abortion, be back and go home on the school bus? That night, mom and dad are never the wiser.”

14. Another premise on the evils of the Obama Administration:

Bachmann then continued, in her own words: "We will talk a little bit about what has transpired in the last 18 months and would we count what has transpired into turning our country into a nation of slaves."

15. Her heels were suspiciously killing her. 

April 8, 2005: When Bachmann tried to force a floor vote to create a state constitutional amendment to ban civil unions for gay couples, the Senate told her to take a hike. So she did -- outside to the Capitol grounds, where she spent an unknown amount of time lurking behind the shrubbery, spying on the rally OutFront Minnesota organized to protest her homophobic legislative tendencies. Her excuse: she was just sitting to rest because her heels were killing her.

Right.

16. Ebonics is not her strong point:

There's nothing more embarrasing than a middle-aged woman speaking ebonics, proven when Bachmann big-upped the chair of the Republican National Committee during the CPAC conference last March. You go on with your bad self, gurl! Ugh.

17. Wherever goes Israel, so goes the United States: 

 “I am convinced in my heart and in my mind that if the United States fails to stand with Israel, that is the end of the United States.

18. One of the primary contributors to Bachmann’s campaigns has been Club for Growth, dedicated to ferreting out RINOs and seeing that they are properly chastised or ousted. The other major contributors have been: Hubbard Broadcasting (major Minneapolis media expanding to other cities), Target, and TCP Financial, a holding company for one of Minnesota’s largest banks.


19. Playing one fear off the other:

“It’s clear that a bill that is silent on eligibility means a bill that includes illegal immigrants.”


NOT TRUE. NEVER HAS BEEN.


20. On control of our food supply:

"President Obama said we can't eat as much food as we want and think the rest of the world will be okay about that -- as if that matters to freedom-loving Americans," said Bachmann. "Well, we just heard last week that the Federal Government now under the Obama administration is calling for a re-ordering of America's food supply. What's that going to mean? Now will the White House decide how many calories we consume, or what types of food we consume?"

21. Now Nostradamus:

"I said I had very serious concerns that Barack Obama had anti-American views," she said. "And now I look like Nostradamus."

22. Foreclosures are the homeowners’ fault:

A Minnesota Independent investigation reveals today that Minnesotans in Bachmann’s district face the worst effects of the foreclosure crisis — but she’s doing the least about it. Bachmann calls homeowners “irresponsible”

23. Bachmann and Bradlee Dean:

Rep. Michele Bachmann will be headlining a fundraiser in November for controversial ministry You Can Run But You Cannot Hide (YCRBYCH).

Based in Annandale, Minn., the group has made a name for itself as an anti-drug Christian punk rock band that organizes motivational student assemblies to bring Christ to public schools. But over the last several years, parents and school administrators have complained that the ministry misrepresents itself, claiming that the group is not transparent about its Christian mission. And since schools pay using public funds, some are concerned that the group is violating the constitutional principle of the separation of church and state.

23. Then, of course, there’s the famous Bathroom Hysteria Scandal in Scandia!

24. Historical mangling #435: Bachmann claimed that Franklin Roosevelt started the Great Depression by signing an Act that, in actuality, Herber Hoover signed.

25. There are some birther-type concerns about Bachmann’s bar exam and her University’s accreditation at the time.

26. Recently, Anderson Cooper hacked away at the issue of the farm subsidies Michele Bachmann's family has been receiving a number of years:

So, when the congresswoman says she has never gotten a dime from the farm, she's contradicting her own disclosure filings. It's possible her disclosure filings have been wrong year after year or maybe her recollection is wrong.

In any case, you saw what happened when we asked her about it this evening. We invited her on the program tonight. She declined. Did the same thing last night. She did, however, appear on all five network morning shows today, where not a single interviewer asked her directly about the family farm and her statements about it. Sunday, when CBS's Bob Schieffer asked the right question, he got even less of an answer than we did. Mrs. Bachmann simply changed the subject. 

The Political Half-Quit: Sarah Palin Couldn't Do Better Than GRACIE ALLEN

Attempts at publicity should always be followed through: too many people are watching.

 In the early spring of 1940, Gracie Allen was sitting calmly at home with her family in Beverly Hills. She thought for a moment and suddenly looked up. “You know, I’m tired of knitting this sweater, I think I‘ll run for president,” she said.

Sarah Palin could surely get out of jury duty, but it seems a convenient reason as to why her tour has been postponed: she can claim civic duty while regrouping and restructuring. And restructuring is obviously in order, because America has queried why she did her magical mystery bus tour in the first place: if it was purely for publicity, it was done so poorly and without any real planning, that public curiosity was the only thing fueling it. And the public quickly found out that the "tour" had no focus: was it to support candidates? Was it a prep to run in 2012? Was it to learn history? Was it to teach history? And what was the "We the People/Constitution" logo for?


Or was Palin just trading in on celebrity? 


The criticisms of the Barracuda being a diva and egocentric are magnified by the kind of "this sucks, I quit" situation AND THE ADDITIONAL CANCELLATION OF A VISIT TO SUDAN: she was supposed to attend an Independence day fest with pals Franklin Graham and Greta Van Sustern. Graham is still pushing on, perhaps because he is doggedly determined to keep a Christian Right stronghold in Africa, capitalizing on the Christian persecutions there. 


So even if Palin substituted "postphone" for "quit" in her tour lexicon, she's still looked upon as a person for whom "finishing the job" is not applicable.


GRACIE ALLEN DID IT BETTER


Looking back, Palin started being a political half-quit during the McCain-Palin candidacy when she separated from the campaign. She called it "Going Rogue" while the country could have called it "Going To Walk Out." It was the first sign that maturity wasn't part of Palin's makeup. It was also the first sign that she was going to use publicity - at whatever the cost, in whatever direction she chose fit. 


That sort of celebrity for celebrity's sake was used to great effect by people like Zsa Zsa Gabor who realized that she had a talent just for being ... famous. But Palin has barreled through fame with little talent, much less planning or thought or research. Much like her writing. 


But to give her her due, she has been entertaining. Now it's up to us to ask: was all that entertainment worth it? 


Another woman in history campaigned for President with the eye for publicity just as Palin has, but her sole purpose was publicity, everyone knew it, and everyone laughed with her: Gracie Allen.

Gracie's campaign for the Presidency was simply a publicity stunt for the Burns and Allen radio show so popular in the 30s and 40s. It was also simply brilliant: just out of the Depression, the country needed to take a look at politics with broad satire, benign lunacy, dizziness and twisted reasoning. Perhaps the best comparative statement to Palin's "quit-to-itive-ness" is this gem:

All the other candidates are making speeches about how much they have done for their country, which is ridiculous. I haven't done anything yet, and I think it's just common sense to send me to Washington and make me do my share. 

The strategies of Allen's campaign were comic gold: her party was the Surprise Party and when asked why, she explained that her mother was a Democrat, her father a Republican, and she had been born a Surprise. Her Party mascot was a Kangaroo because her slogan was "It's In the Bag!" One of her plans for government was to put Congress on a commission basis: whenever the country did well economically, Congress would get ten percent of the take (like a talent agent).* Another idea was to extend Civil Service to ALL branches of Government because "a little politeness goes a long way."**

Gracie also proved to have Presidential qualities:

HONESTY: As I look...at all these trusting and loving faces...tears come into my eyes...and if you must know why...it's because my girdle is killing me.

I stand before you tonight a simple, plain woman... which is not my fault, but the beautician can't take me till tomorrow.

STATESMANSHIP: Let's all put our shoulders to the wheel and push the Ship of State further into the mud. 

ON THE ECONOMY: (Today's Republicans would love her for this) This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances.

and... We should be proud of our national debt! After all, It's the biggest in the world! 

SAGE ADVICE TO POLITICIANS: Keep up your morning exercises, because every politician must be able to keep both feet on the fence with his ear to the ground.

MISOGYNISTIC BUT TRUE: Everybody knows a woman is better than a man when it comes to introducing bills into the house. 

Her 33-city whistlestop train tour (bus tours today are apparently more grueling) culminated in the Surprise Party's national convention in Omaha, NE. Thousands of "delegates" flocked to the convention where Gracie was unanimously nominated. There was no vice-presidential candidate on her ticket, however, because she said she would "tolerate no vice" in her administration. Later, at the request of Eleanor Roosevelt, she spoke at the Women's National Press Club in Washington. 

For all her campaign efforts, Gracie Allen - as a write-in candidate - garnered 43,000 votes against Roosevelt and Wendell Wilkie, bigger ratings for the Burns and Allen radio show and the endearing love of the entire country.  

Sarah Palin can't do better than that.

*Actually, not a bad idea.

** Republicanism not withstanding

June Has Busted Out All Over: With Sex, God, Love, Hate ... And Exploding Right Wing Brains

MARCH BE DAMNED! June is the month to lose your mind - and your soul - if you like fireworks!


















June: it used to be the month of grads, dads, brides, and the promises of summer vacations.  People could count on June because it was always the warm, dependable month, and although peppered with the unpredictable antics of Geminis, it gave us a feeling of lighthearted confidence.


Two thirds into 6/11, however,  the old concept of June has exploded and we may never see the likes of it again.


June was exposed to a Congressman's wiener  ... for weeks. It saw the Southern Baptist Convention's magnanimous outreach to the grandchildren of its slaves while still telling gays to go to hell.* In this month, the number of  GOP Presidential hopefuls grew exponentially (leading some to think they might form their own country). Newt Gingrich's staff, however, shrunk - to nothing. The elderly balked when told that they must starve for the sake of their grandchildren. The Family Research Council (almost) capitulated in the culture war after being blinded by rainbow flags for Gay Pride Month. Libya showed signs of morphing into Iraq. The UN resolution on gay rights made Africa vomit. And a celebrity politician toured a country she to knew very little about.


But what will be remembered as the most cataclysmic event of any June in history is that Right Wing brains exploded at a phenomenal rate. They exploded in righteousness and in frustration, in Tea Party angst and gay marriage capitulation. And they will pick up the pieces themselves, thank you very much. Or so they say.


Some of the explosions you might have heard:


BLAM! The first brain to explode was, of course, attached to Brian Fischer of the American Family Association: June 1st saw him apoplectic over gays as usual, telling everyone who would listen that they were the country's worst perpetrators of hate crimes and he seemed to mix up getting bashed in the head with a baseball bat to being criticized as a homophobe. The pieces of his brain are now trying to paint Southern Baptist as soft on immigration and gays. Unfortunately, Fischer's massive ego - quite separate from his brain - is intact, so he dismissed any cranial fallout and is now going after Mitt Romney as the true instigator of gay marriage.


BLAM! When Peter Sprigg of Family Research Council announced that the fight for traditional marriage may have been lost, Tony Perkins' brain exploded and immediately called for the nation to fall on its knees in repentence: his "Call2Fall" is scheduled for Sunday, July 3rd.


BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! Parts of Africa looked like beautiful fireworks: the phenomena was brought about by an historic United Nations resolution affirming the rights of LGBT  communities and individuals around the globe and convening an investigation into human rights abuses.* The countries that lit up and strongly opposed the resolution: Angola, Bahrain, Bangladesh, Cameroon, Djibouti, Gabon, Ghana, Jordan, Malaysia, Maldives, Mauritania, Nigeria, Pakistan, Qatar, Republic of Moldova, Russian Federation, Saudi Arabia, Senegal and Uganda.

Nigeria claimed the proposal went against the wishes of most Africans. A diplomat from the northwest African state of Mauritania called the resolution "an attempt to replace the natural rights of a human being with an unnatural right."

Ironically, these are all countries "prophet" Lou Engle has had in his sites.


Of course, June has been slated as Gay Pride Month and even presented as such by President Obama, so we should have expected some explosions.


BLAM! But lest the reader think that Right Wing brain explosions have been about gays alone, read Chuck Norris' explosion about the horrible morality of today's left-wing media:

And if you think children are safe watching one of the more benign nature or history channels, consider that he or she might run into the History Channel's multiple-episode series, "The History of Sex" or even National Geographic's TV's adult-themed documentary series, "Taboo," which will test your boundaries and push beyond your comfort zone about issues like fantasy lives, strange love, nudity and the third sex.

BLAM! Not to be left out of the festivities, Michele Bachmann topped the month (so far) with a mind-blowingly stupid conspiracy theory:

Representative Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, the latest candidate to join the Republican presidential campaign, suggested Friday that President Obama secretly wanted Medicare to go bankrupt so retirees would be forced to enroll in the new national health care law. 

So we have Right Wing brains exploding with self-righteousness, outrage, prurience, hypocrisy, bigotry and insanity. 


The month's not over and already it's far and away eclipsed the Fourth of July. 


Enjoy!

*Christian Post:

Terry Fox, senior pastor of Summit Church in Wichita, Kansas, tells One News Now that it’s gays and lesbians who owe religious people an apology for their “perversion.” “It shows [Get Equal] think[s] they have become an accepted organization in America, which I would beg to differ with them,” the pastor adds. “Any poll you would take from any region in America, including the more liberal parts of the country, they would find that they’re out of sync with all of society. So I’m embarrassed for them for even asking for an apology.”

**From the resolution:
1. Requests the High Commissioner to commission a study to be finalized by December 2011, to document discriminatory laws and practices and acts of violence against individuals based on their sexual orientation and gender identity, in all regions of the world, and how international human rights law can be used to end violence and related human rights violations based on sexual orientation and gender identity;