Rapture Kitty Rules!!

After 78 hours, Rapture Kitty is still on top at OpEdNews!

All That Glitters Is Not Newt: The Republican Party Is Really Made Of Cheap Brass

Back in the days ...


The Republican Party used to be more, shall we say, patrician. Oh, it had people with lots of money, but it was old money, not the flashy kind you see nowadays. It was the money of the Teddy Roosevelts, not the Franklin Roosevelts,* and even though they were conservative to a fault, they spent their money (as well as other people's) in style: Teddy - national parks, Franklin - WPA. 


Sadly, all that style went away with Calvin Coolidge. Nixon? No style at all in Watergate. Ford? Stumbling has no style - in or out of Congress.  Reagan? Hollywood glitz while mixed up with Contras and stealing designer gowns.  Bush I? Can't recall much of anything. Bush II? As the youngsters say today, "Gimme a break!" 


Style. Class. Respect. Every patrician virtue seems to have eluded the Republicans for years. Unfortunately, it will continue to elude them with the present Presidential hopeful roster: 


New Gingrich - aka "serial adulterer" Mr. Gingrich announced his bid for the Presidency with the worst timing ever: owing upwards of $500,000 to Tiffany's at a time when the economy is the #1 American priority is gouache and terribly bourgeois. We realize that one young man tried to "sparkle up" Newt's image (see below) but we believe that it will take more than glitter to make him shine.


Michele Bachmann - aka "crazy eyes" and "slit our wrists" Mrs. Bachmann is more delusional than delightful: one does not make up numbers ($900 million a day for President's trip to Southeast Asia and India?),become a fear monger against the national census, nor extol the virtues of carbon dioxide.


Rick Santorum - aka "frothy mix" Mr. Santorum needs to be less obsessed with Google definitions and more concerned with his ethics: giving the warning signal to Senator John Ensign about his about-to-be-public affair was not in anyone's best interests.


Tim Pawlenty - Mr. Pawlenty was swept away from Catholicism by his wife and then turned into a devout RRR (Radical Religious Righter). He seems not to be "for" anything, but instead whines to the media (like Bryan Fischer of AFA) about what he is against (same-sex marriage, Social Security, Medicare). He continually sounds like a very poor sport.


Mitt Romney - Mr. Romney may look very patrician, have a great deal of money, and even a certain amount of pedigree,  but to put it bluntly, flip-flops are not allowed in the White House.


Mitch Daniels - Mr. Daniels seems to have all the reserve required for a good patrician Republican, however, his attachment to Eli Lilly leaves much to be desired. Although most of society is on Prozac, there is no need for a drug company to rule the country. 


Sarah Palin - aka "Rogue Something-or-other" and "Hockey mom" (her self-styled sobriquet). Mrs Palin has been in the spotlight so long without real substance that she is in danger of being "famous for being famous" The only person ever to pull that off was Zsa Zsa Gabor - with style and elegance (Queen of Outer Space notwithstanding). Her book, Going Rogue, was a paltry piece that impressed no one (least of all Katie Couric). Going Rouge** is much better. Tacky: putting an enemy's district in a crosshair for your PAC's website.


Ron Paul - aka "Dr. No" Mr. Paul has leaned so far to the Right that there is no Left left. This does not make for a good statesman. Governments are established for the benefit of the populace, but Mr. Paul's libertarianism doesn't seem to care. He quite foolishly declared that the President's raid on Osama Bin Laden was unnecessary. Bad form.


Herman Cain - his political positions are thinner than his pizza


There may be more to come, but we may not be able to stand the class deficiency. 




*Franklin's money was from the Delano side - originally made in China's Opium trade

**Going Rouge: A Candid Look inside the Mind of Political Conservative Sarah Palin, , a wonderfully insightful book - all its pages are empty.

Rapture Kitty's Home: More Graphics From The Devil and Dan Vojir

Because "Rapture Kitty" became sooo popular, here are some "edited" images that I used for different article. Most of them were simply fun to put together, while some of them are a little bit edgier. Just click on the image and it will take you to the corresponding article.  Have fun!!

 

"Rapture Kitty" Hits #1 On OpEdNews!!!

Proof that Cuteness really matters: I think the reason the article hit #1 on OpEdNews was this pic. Hope people are actually reading the article!

The End Of The World? We're Sooo Looking Forward To It!

"God has given sooo much information in the Bible about this, and so many proofs, and so many signs, that we know it is absolutely going to happen without any question at all. 

 - Harold Camping

When the End Times come, I want to be living in Kansas. It's always twenty years behind."

 - Mark Twain

Imagine this scene:

Sunday, May 22nd, 10:15AM, families in church pews singing praises of the Lord very languidly, with  no exuberance at all. They've gathered in churches out of fright and despair. The day before, a few people they knew had disappeared - in broad daylight!  It happened! It actually happened! Old Harold Camping was RIGHT!!

After the initial worldwide chaos, all those worshipers had come to the realization that they had been "left behind," and their fate was sealed: in six months, their bodies and souls would cease to exist. No hell, but no heaven either. That's the way Camping envisioned it. Why were they singing hymns at all? Maybe hope, maybe habit. The cruelty of it all was still impossible to comprehend: only 3% of the population were raptured. What was wrong with the other 97%?

Yes, it's an odd scenario that focuses on the torture to come: billions of people left on earth, knowing that in six months they would cease to exist. Of course, it's not the only picture of the End: so many elements and permutations make for an interesting (if confusing) mix-and-match game: the Rapture, pre-millenialism, post-millenialism,  Armageddon are but a few. But no matter what the eschatology, they all involve the End of the World, a Judgment of human beings, unification with God (heaven) or separation from God (hell or non-existence) all with a heavy dose of ... sadism. One wonders if God created man just to toy with him like some cruel child: whatever the outcome of the World, somebody, some soul will suffer.

Gone Are The Sandwich Boards

"REPENT! THE END IS NEAR!" When's the last time you saw some sad, unkempt person wearing front-and-back placards declaring the end of the world? Most of them have been retired to YouTube heaven and they've been replaced by young people in tee-shirts with handouts or misspelled signs held by very in-your-face adherents. Today's End Timers seem more definite, more aggressive, and more condescending than sandwich board messengers. Why? Is it because they know they will be going to heaven very soon? Or is it because they know you won't be going to heaven (unless you listen to them and act quickly)? Watch the 40-second video at the bottom and wonder why the young man has such fervor in his voice and stance. When asked what he will do if the world still exists on May 22nd, he is absolutely certain that THERE WILL BE NO MAY 22nd! The force at which he puts up a mind-block to any alternative is unsettling.

Of course, websites like The End.com and  End Time Ministries also exude a matter-of-fact quality about a Second Coming, but they merely act as enablers to a group that is going one step further: naming an actual date.

I realize that calling today's End Timers cruel and sadistic may be going too far, but not far enough for people who actually push for Armageddon, e.g. the followers of Pastor John Hagee. His group, CUFI (Christians United For Israel), actually rallies for the concept of Armageddon. In the video below, the actions of the faithful seem almost surreal: they're so very happy that an Israeli-Palestinian conflict would bring about their cherished Armageddon, they seem oblivious to the fact that they are inciting a war, with people dying in the process.  Former U.S. Representative Tom DeLay looks almost giddy at the prospect of a cataclysmic war.

So what will happen to the May 21st End Timers on May 22nd? Will they experience profound disillusionment? Will they be ridiculed mercilessly? Will they switch to another date? I fear the answer to all three questions is a resounding "yes". We are experiencing people who (badly) need  a vast and spectacular change in their lives and who cannot deal with the human condition, whether in themselves or others. In other words, they will always want the End Time to come in their lifetime: be it in the form of the Rapture, the Second Coming, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse or whatever, End Timers will always strive for an immediate vindication, a current vengeance, a present emotional and physical relief with something as universal as religion.   

Past "signs" of the End Time show us just how desperate people are when they put their beliefs and their hopes for a cataclysmic change on the line:

Mormon: Babylon will be established and fall, Rev. 17-18.

Jehovah's Witnesses: All religions, represented by the Babylon the Great, except Jehovah's Witnesses, will be destroyed by the United Nations.(Revelation 17:16-18)

Islam: the Sun will rise from the West instead of the East.

So what will happen on May 22? After a great wailing and gnashing of teeth, the world will go on as it always has, people will still practice virtues and vices, and history will (unfortunately) repeat itself in the form of desperate people hoping for the End Time.

PS: With a nod to conspiracy theorists: the billboards stretching from Connecticut to Louisiana are extremely pricey. Camping may own some media outlets, but nothing on the scale to produce enough income for the advertising. So who the hell is funding this stuff?

Osama Bin Laden Is Dead. And So Is "Cowboy Diplomacy" (We Hope!)

Justice Is Served. 
Obama Is Lauded.
Statesmanship Is 
Re-established. 
And The Right is
...check-mated. 

A statesman does not gloat: in an hour when United States needed supreme statesmanship, Barack Obama made the announcement of Osama Bin Laden's with a slightly somber note. He did not smile. He simply noted that justice had been served and that we must be ever-vigilant in the war on terrorism. He also reinforced his image as a Nobel Peace Prize laureate in declaring:

We must also reaffirm that the United States is not –- and never will be -– at war with Islam. I’ve made clear, just as President Bush did shortly after 9/11, that our war is not against Islam. Bin Laden was not a Muslim leader; he was a mass murderer of Muslims. Indeed, al Qaeda has slaughtered scores of Muslims in many countries, including our own. So his demise should be welcomed by all who believe in peace and human dignity.

He did not gloat. Instead, the gloating was done for him around the country, and while people are justified in being satisfied with the Al Qaeda leader's death as a point of closure to horrific events in our history, the current hysteria may look to the world exactly like the joy Islamic militants had demonstrated on 9/11. Obama's calm hopefully countered that image.

The cheers may also signal a blow to the Right, for those jubilant crowds at Ground Zero are the people the Republican Party counted on to destroy Barack Obama. After all, they are cheering Obama's "gutsy" but intelligent strategy. Not...George...Bush's. 

And it's very obvious that conservatives across the country are holding back tears of frustration. After all, Bush's "cowboy diplomacy" was an oxymoron: it was no diplomacy at all. His desire to wear a white stetson and go into the Middle East with guns blazing was loutish and engendered more fear of the U.S. than admiration. It was the result of an excuse to annihilate Saddam Hussein, an act of bravado that cost more U.S. lives than were lost on 9/11 and spiraled the economy down into debt. Bush was derided as a brute - history's greatest diplomatic dimwit.

Reactions by Republicans have tried to temper their commendations of Obama with references to Bush:

Eric Cantor: "I commend President Obama who has followed the vigilance of President Bush in bringing Bin Laden to justice." 

Tim Pawlenty: In the hours after the 9/11 attacks, President Bush promised that America would bring Osama bin Laden to justice -- and we did."

Donald Rumsfeld: "All of this was made possible by the relentless, sustained pressure on al Qaeda that the Bush administration initiated after 9/11 and that the Obama administration has wisely chosen to continue." 

And some didn't bother to commend the President at all: reactions eliminating any mention of Obama include Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, Mitt Romney, Condoleezza Rice, Sen. Saxby Chambliss, Rep. Darrell Issa,  Sen. Marco Rubio to name a few.

Those Amazing Conspiracy Guys

Perhaps the most loyal adherents to cowboy diplomacy are the country's conspiracy theorists: Obama's comparatively restrained militarism helped them paint him as un-American. And on the outset, the publication of the long form birth certificate coupled with Bin Laden's demise should render the brand of un-American moot and pointless. Of course, conspiracy theorists are still having a field day because of the manner in which the body of Bin Laden was disposed of: dumping it in the ocean was not (to them) conclusive. No matter that the comprehensive coverage of the assault by CBS IN THE WAR ROOM leaves no doubt that Obama, Vice-President Biden, Secretary of State Clinton and other officials viewed the assault in real time. No matter that one woman in the compound made a positive identification of the body. No matter that photos were taken. No matter that positive DNA results were released. 

No matter.

We have Birthers (some refuse to believe the legitimacy of the long form) and now there will be (Bin Laden) "Deathers" as well. Ho hum. We can only hope that all these theorists whose raison d'etre is to "get" Obama at any cost may find their numbers dwindling, not because of the last two events, but because the pile up of conspiracy theories may increase to such a point that the industry itself may implode. Too many jokes founded on too many theories will eventually bore the public and adamant theorists will be looked upon for what they are: rubes who will grasp at anything to discredit him and make him look un-American. 

And when that happens, let's hope that they will take cowboy diplomacy along with them. It's too expensive. We can't afford it any more.

Birthers DEMAND That Obama Birth Certificate Be A Forgery - For The Economic And Political Good Of The Nation!

Disclosure Of Obama Birth Certificate Puts MILLIONS Out Of Work!! Breadlines Begin To Sprout Up!

With the disclosure of President Barack Obama's birth certificate, the REAL conspiracy has come out: create a booming industry of Birthism, then when it's at its height and Presidential candidates attach their stars to the movement, pull the rug out from underneath it all! Ingenious! The stock market will collapse! Birther leaders will be raining onto city pavements! Donald Trump's three hairs will fall out!


OK, so none of that has happened, but give Birthers some credit: they've created a unique industry based on one conspiracy theory and now they have nothing.


Well, almost nothing. Spin doctors and conspiracy-hungry Right Wingnuts are hard at work trying to mold the news into something sustainable or coming up with new theories. From the Washington Post, and Talking Points Memo (Best of the Birthers) we can see Birthers scrambling as if to stabilize themselves after an earthquake:


Orly Taiz - "Queen of the Birthers." She still thinks there's something fishy about the long form because Obama didn't show it until now. She also thinks it might be fake because it stated "African" rather than "Negro" on the long form. She thanked Donald Trump for "forcing the President's hand."


Donald Trump - real estate mogul and reality TV star. He agrees with Orly: he now thinks he has power over Obama. However, on George Stephanopoulos' program last week he said that he's proud of his company and would welcome full disclosure:

TRUMP: I have a great company, I’ve done a great job which I’ve run you’ll see what a great job because I’ll do a full disclosure of finances. STEPHANOPOULOS: Including tax returns? TRUMP: Maybe I’ll do the tax returns when Obama does his birth certificate. 

We're waiting.

Sean Hannity - FOX News pundit, major shill for the Republican Party and "journalist" responsible for "Dijon-Gate". Hannity has stated that he was "birther curious." However, Hannity and FOX kept the birther movement alive by airing it in at least 52 different segments.

Joseph Farah - founder and chief editor of World Net Daily (Or Wing Nut Daily, whichever you prefer)

It would be a big mistake for everyone to jump to a conclusion now based on the release of this document, which raises as many questions than it answers.”

Farah also offers a new spin on the Birther movement and citizenship:

“Now we can have an intelligent discussion about what it means to be a natural born citizen,” Farah said, suggesting in what direction conservatives will now push the issue. “If your father is Kenyan, how are you an American citizen? If your adopted step-father was Indonesian, how are you an American citizen? At best you are a dual-citizen.”

Next up: who was your great, geat grandfather?

Michele Bachmann - Presidential hopeful, House Representative from Minnesota, nicknamed "crazy eyes" by Joe Jervis (Joe.My.God). Bachmann fueled the Birther movement, but sidestepped the issue directly. After all, she doesn't need Birthers, since she's dreamt up some theories of her own: Obama's $900 million-dollar-a-day trip to India, the intrusive and secretive 2010 Census, etc.

Phil Berg - attorney who filed first lawsuit claiming Obama was not a U.S. Citizen. Now he says that the birth certificate is not that important:

Obama may have been born in Hawaii, Berg says, but he renounced his American citizenship when he was adopted by his stepfather Lolo Soetoro while living in Indonesia. Berg claims Obama's Indonesian school records list him as an Islamic Indonesian named Barry Soetoro.

Jerome Corsi - author of new book, Where's the Birth Certificate? Although it hasn't been published yet, the book hit #1 on Amazon. Joseph Farah is publishing the book and plans to go ahead - with no updates or re-edits. Sales should go through the roof - as a "period piece."

Rush Limbaugh - The Bloviator. Even though he fanned the flames of Birtherism, he now claims that HE WARNED PEOPLE that the birth certificate issue was a "dead end" (listen below)

Amidst all the chaos, other Birthers: Matt Drudge (Drudge Report), Chuck Norris, Arizona State Rep. Carl Seel (introduced Birther law) ands Alan Keyes (perennial president candidate).


So now we have a lot of fools who are busy trying not to look like fools. Isn't American politics entertaining as hell?

“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.”

                                           - Mark Twain