Palin's List of Crash Courses

To The Media: "Thanks But, No Thanks"

(A.P, Newsweek)

At first, campaign aides told the TV producer, print and news agency reporters in the press pool that followed the Alaska governor that they would not be admitted along with still photographers and a video camera crew taken in to photograph her meetings with Afghan President Hamid Karzai and Colombian President Alvaro Uribe, who are here for the United Nations General Assembly this week. She also was to meet later with former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger.

These sessions and meetings scheduled for Wednesday are part of the Republican campaign's effort to give Palin experience in foreign affairs. She has never met a foreign head of state and first traveled outside North America just last year.

This was the headline for Associated Press:

WASHINGTON (AP) - Sarah Palin is getting a crash course in foreign policy.

The term "crash course" could have several meanings, but after Palin's botched affair with the press this morning, I believe that A.P. means "doesn't know shit, but has to bone up!"

After I read it, I thought it would be helpful to the McCain-Palin campaign to give them a list of "crash courses" that Sarah Palin should have before Oct. 2. They are:

Media Relations - She will have to learn "damage control" VERY fast! (Like yesterday)

Inner City Crime - She will learn that guns are also used for killing people and she will have to recite 100 times "Guns don't kill people. People kill people" to bolster her NRA image.

American History Part I - She will be shocked to learn that most of the Founding Fathers were Deists and some were Freemasons! This is a prerequisite for the crash course in Religious Tolerance!

African American History - All of it.

Diplomacy - She will learn that the very idea of picking up any substantial knowledge of foreign affairs in two days is preposterous and insulting to people like former Secretary of State, Madelaine Albright, who came from a diplomatic background and is now teaching at the Georgetown School of Foreign Service!

Economics - learning to rid herself of the title, "Earmark Queen" and knowing the financial intricacies of faith-based initiatives and how to set up bread lines.

Environment and Natural Science - she will learn why some people DON'T shoot wolves.

PETA - She will learn why all baby animals look cute and defend herself while wearing a wolf fur coat. Because from the looks of some of her outfits, PETA will literally be on her tail.

Feminism - All of it

Comparative Religions - Not to be confused with Religious Tolerance course but still required and may be taken at the same time as American History Part I

Constitutional law - She will learn all of the First Ten Amendments of the Constitution and how not to confuse them with the Ten Commandments.

Hispanic Studies - She will learn that their are two definitions of the word "Alien"

Elective courses:

Washington cocktail parties - This is an interactive course where she will learn how to fight battles over Cosmos

Bug checking - She will learn the useful art of checking for hidden microphones and how to close doors VERY tightly while talking to energy companies.

I hope this curriculum is very helpful.

Just a thought.

And if she can't complete all the courses, she'll wind up being the Secretary of Education.

The Palin Channel: All Palin, All the Time!

People Never Seem Tire Of Sarah Palin!
Give Us More! More! More!

To Christian Broadcasting Network, Trinity Broadcasting Network and any other network that has a timeslot to fill: Create an All Palin Channel, broadcasting news, podcasts, pictorials, documentaries (there may be one out there) all about Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska. Think of the ratings! You'd push aside FOX news the very first day! She's a phenomenon! She's gold! People want to know what fragrance she wears! (it's a secret!), what Walmart she patronizes! They want Sarah Palin hairdos, Sarah Palin shoes, Sarah Palin Evangelical rape kits! An all-Palin, all the time channel would be a veritable blockbuster - at least for the next 5 weeks. After that, who knows? After that, who cares?

I care enough to say STOP! Stop and take a long, deep breath. Stop and READ what she has said and is being said about her. Stop looking at the

"Hockey-mom-just-like-everyone-else-wants-change-in-Washington-bonefied-WOMAN

Sarah Palin. Start looking at her in conjunction with McCain, Obama and Biden...and policies. Ask yourself some very pertinent questions: (my personal answers in red - hey! who's blog is it?)

• Is Sarah Palin a Christian Fundamentalist who follows the current Fundamentalist ideology? Yes. Her ties to Pentecostals, certain pastors, views of the Bible and links to people like Franklin Graham, make for one faithful Fundamentalist.
• Would Palin try to exercise Fundamentalist beliefs as a head of state? Possibly. She showed some leanings toward censorship with the Wasilla librarian affair.
• Does Sarah Palin have a working knowledge of minorities? No. No matter how many times she says that she's been exposed to many different cultures in Wasilla and Anchorage, she really doesn't have a working knowledge of minorities be they African American, Latino, gay, Asian, Muslim.
• Does Governor Palin have a working knowledge of the various regional cultures of America such as New Englander, New Yorker, Los Angelino, Texan, etc.? Probably not. In a sense, Palin has been in isolation for most of her life, if her accounts are true.
• Would Palin be able to represent the nation in foreign countries/affairs? No. She is too much like George Bush to be able to carry off any diplomatic mission. Period.
• Would Palin be able to react quickly in terms of a natural disaster? Don't know. This would depend on how much briefing she gets on infrastructure affairs - how much John McCain would allow her to know.
• Would Palin vote for or co-author a Marriage Amendment? If she thought the legislature could pull it off successfully, DEFINITELY.
• Is Sarah Palin smart? Yes. She has cunning and a sense of political survival.
• Is Sarah Palin intelligent? Probably not. While some people cite her as a "quick learner," she has not stopped repeating her liabilities (e.g. "Bridge to Nowhere" lie)
• Is she secretive? Yes. There are too many questions left unanswered. When questioned about many things, she dodges questions, sometimes to the point of seeming to come off as clueless.
• Can she lead? Condition: Only when she feels that EVERYONE supports her. Too many stories of vengeance for not supporting her are circulating.
• Would she be a competent President? No. She would have to take too much time to learn things. She would sense her own incompetence and that would show.

There are, of course, many other questions to ask, but we should never stopping asking questions about her. All Palin, all the time? No, just reasonable scrutiny. She's not running to be a beauty queen.

Just a thought.

Three Birds, One Stone - The Christofascist Play Starring Sarah Palin (Of Troopergate Fame)

Three Birds, One Stone
A farce in more than one act.

This is a kind of "wikiplay" since people can write their own play based on the cast of characters and the scenario. They can even add more characters (pertinent, please!) and subject matter all the way up to November, but please make your changes as soon as possible.

Cast of characters:

• Sarah Palin: Governor of Alaska, former mayor of Wasilla, Alaska (pop. 5,000)
• Todd Palin: Husband of Sarah, a shadowy figure, commercial fishing entrepreneur and advisor to British Petroelum (BP)
• Walt Monegan: Former Public Safety Commissioner, fired by Palin
• Chuck Kopp: Former Kanai City Police Chief, now currently serving as Public Safety Commisioner
• Rev. Franklin Graham: son of great preacher Billy Graham and president of Samaritan's Purse, a faith-based charity organization
• Rev. Jerry Prevo: Pastor of Anchorage Baptist Temple
• Sen. John McCain: Republican Presidential nominee

Synopsis:

Senator McCain is feeling pressured by Fundamentalists and Evangelicals to come up with a sign that he is serious about religion's role in the next administration. However, he's been linked to two very unconventional Christian pastors and dare not link himself to any more. On June 30, he visits Rev. Franklin Graham, after which Graham states: "We had an opportunity to pray ... for God's will to be done in this upcoming election."

A video on the scrim is projected. It is a montage of Sarah Palin and various other cast memebers (From the Anchorage Daily News):

Subsequent events suggest that the price of support for McCain by the fundamentalist Christian leadership would be a vice presidential candidate of their liking.

Since it is known that Franklin Graham owns a vacation residence, runs a Bible Camp and confers with numerous Christian Fundamentalists at a small community called Port Alsworth, Alaska, Sarah Palin is considered by some to be a good contender. But most of the Fundamentalist community need a "sign" from Palin as well. Her first 18 months at the helm of Alaska didn't seem aggressive enough for them.

Enter Kanai Police Chief Chuck Kopp. He is, in a very real sense, Palin's and McCain's savior. Not only is he a devout Christian, but he is also president of Cook Inlet Academy, a Christian high school his missionary father had founded, and on the board of Port Alsworth's Tanailan Bible Camp, also founded by his father. The chief benefactor of the Bible Camp happens to be Franklin Graham's Samaritan's Purse.

Enter Rev. Jerry Prevo of the Anchorage Baptist Temple. Prevo is on the Board of the Tanailan Bible Camp.

Back to Palin who realizes that the best way to give a "sign" to Graham is to promote Chuck Kopp. But how? She turns to Walt Monegan the current Safety Commissioner. She and her family have been trying to get Monegan to fire her former brother-in-law because the divorce of her sister was getting very messy. If she fires Monegan for some (trivial) reason, she can place Kopp in an authoritative role in Alaska's government and, eventually have HIM fire her brother-in-law! It's brilliant! Three birds with one stone!

The only thing she has to do is overlook the fact that Kopp has had numerous allegations of sexual harassment. She can overlook that and hope that nothing comes to the fore. Then the sign of acceptance comes to her:

The Washington Post reported that when Palin met with the Alaska delegation after her nomination during the recent Republican National Convention, Rev. Prevo, a member of the delegation, said Palin asked them to pray for her. Then Prevo handed the governor his cell phone; it was Franklin Graham calling to congratulate her.

If this scenario seems preposterous, you can check out the Anchorage Daily News here. Also preposterous is the fact that when Kopp was embroiled in a harassment scandal, Palin defended him thoroughly and put no credence to incriminating emails. Read the comments below the letter. Some people who knew Palin are chiming in with their own stories.

The play's the thing in where we'll catch the conscience of the king."

Inner City? - What's An Inner City?

Answer: It's Something Bigger Than Wasilla

The Democrats are finally getting around to countering Sarah Palin's jab against community organizers. There's a wonderful video of Barack Obama's work on Reuters. Unfortunately, I couldn't embed it into this post. I was able, however, to come up with an inspirational Obama ad. See it below.

Mocking Obama's service as a community organizer has been, well, mocked. And I'm glad. Palin's comments were as demeaning as they were meant to be. Have you noticed that Palin - like McCain - doesn't give much thought to what she says? Obama, on the other hand, chooses his words very carefully. Thoughtless, quick words point to a politician. Well-considered words denote a statesman. The same goes for McCain's "bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb bomb Iran."

Biden, of course, should not be left out of the subject of thoughtless words. I know that he's had a lot of gaffs, but I think he's thoughtful enough to admit and correct them. Palin's speeches have not corrected themselves: she has repeated the insulting lie "thanks, but no thanks" about 11 times after it was discovered that she not only approved of earmarks, she had at one time hired a lobbyist to get as many as possible, and never had any communication with Washington whatsoever that she refused earmarks.

As to the comparison of a mayor of a small town to a community organizer in Chicago's South Side, yes, there is quite a difference. I would challenge Palin to say that she knows the problems of an inner city ghetto. She doesn't. She couldn't possibly relate. Obama pulled together schools and churches in an area populated by 100,000 (mostly) African Americans to whom gunshots and sirens were more common than the cries of a mating moose. "Actual responsibilities" were more numerous and more serious than Palin experienced in Wasilla, Alaska.

There is a rather silly inversion of Palin's comparison, but there is a ring of truth to it: "Jesus was a community organizer. Pontius Pilate was a governor." In the sense that Jesus was an activist, yes. In the sense that Pontius Pilate had more responsibilities, no: Pilate had responsibilities given to him by Rome, while Jesus had a mandate from God.

Palin's choice of the word "community" was also wrong, since communities are diverse and some quite large.

When it comes to attacks, I think Palin should stick to hunting moose.

Just a thought.

Evolution of a Republican

Evolution of a Republican
Originally uploaded by DiscoWeasel

Thoughts on Evolution and Republicans:

Republicans don't believe in it, so they haven't bothered to evolve.
Republicans don't believe in hairy bodies (this picture was created by a Democrat) because all the "bears" I know are gay!
Republicans hope that some men "devolve" so that they can poach them for their pelts (or shoot them from helicopters to keep the population down)

Holy Homo Sapiens! A Church's Apology to Charles Darwin!

(From Washington Post - On Faith, David Waters, 9/17/08)

Sorry, Charlie: Church Apologizes to Darwin

Proving it's never too late to evolve, the Church of England has apologized to Charles Darwin for vilifying him for having the audacity to question, wonder, and doubt.

Darwin has been dead for 126 years, so it probably doesn't matter much to him, but the apology comes with a fascinating essay that could start a more intelligent conversation between religion and science, especially when it comes to the origin -- or genesis -- of the species.

(From Rev. Dr. Malcolm Brown's Good Religion Needs Good Science)

The anti-evolutionary fervour in some corners of the churches may be a kind of proxy issue for other discontents; and, perhaps most of all, an indictment of the churches' failure to tell their own story - Jesus's story - with conviction in a way which works with the grain of the world as God has revealed it to be, both through the Bible and in the work of scientists of Darwin's calibre.

In other words, Christofascists are very stupid, Or they haven't evolved yet. We might add that the "anti-evolutionary fervor" is a proxy for the frighteningly close ideology of theocracy, not as a discontent, but as a hope to win over secular humanism. The Evolution/Intelligent Design/Creationism debate is a real war to Christofascists - a war that they MUST win.

I am, therefore, fearful for Dr. Brown. Both he and the Church of England will be vilified by America's "men of God" like Hagee, Parsley, Robertson, Crouch, Hinn and Copeland. They need as many churches as they can get to oppose evolution and to eradicate the just-a-theory science from all classrooms. Right now, Paul Hamm of The Creation Museum must be sticking pins in a little Dr. Malcolm Brown doll.

Dr. Brown: thank you. We need some semblance of reason in religion because religion without reason is a mindless cult.

Just a thought.

You Mean Michael Savage Won't Be Appearing With Tony Perkins?

Every Other Self-Righteous Bigot Is!

Michael Savage is America's premier hate speech talk show host, so it came as a surprise that he originates out of KNEW instead of KSFO (both in San Francisco). The lineup at KSFO includes "Dr." Laura, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. I was doing research on the California Proposition 8 (ban against same sex marriage), when I noticed that KSFO was mentioned in an ad by Family Research Council. Here it is:

Join Tony Perkins for the Values Advocacy Council Action's "Stand for Marriage" Rally on Sunday, September 28 from 5:30 - 7:30 PM. Keynote speakers include:

• Tony Perkins - President of Family Research Council
• Hon. Louie Gohmert, U.S. House of Representatives, Texas
• Ron Prentice, California Family Council
• Brian Sussman, KSFO Radio

Plus they will have other National, State and Local Christian Leaders. The Rally will be held at:

Church on the Hill
500 Sands Drive
San Jose, CA 95125

I wonder if FRC can stand to be within spitting distance of the sordid, sin city of San Francisco. Idea: besides KSFO, there should be more representation of San Francisco in the form of protesters. What if we got together with our own local Christian Leaders, legislators and media to (quietly, in a more genteel fashion) to tell them that the San Francisco Bay Area is NOT a place for homophobes and bigots. (Also: notice that they have a congressman from TEXAS and not California - figures!)

A counter-rally would be certain to garner the media attention FRC craves.

Oh! Is Rush going to be there? I hope so!