What Did GOD Whisper in Pat's Ear?

Did Guiliani and Robertson cut a deal?

Pat Robertson has now definitely crossed that fine line he has been walking on the last 20 years. His sanity is no longer in question. He has taken the plunge into the lake of lunacy. Calling down meteors against gays, saying that feminists practice witchcraft and calling for assasinations – no proclamation comes close to the news that he has endorsed Rudy Guiliani for President. Guiliani is pro-choice and soft on gays. Does Pat know that Rudy stayed with to queens while his divorce was going through? Tsk tsk Rudy. Does Pat have something more on you than you want the public to know?

What was Pat thinking? Did leg-pressing all that weight put pressure somewhere other than his posterior? Did God suddenly tell Pat that those 40 million abort fetuses were just a mistake? And that Roe vs. Wade wasn't that bad after all?

Just what kind of DEAL did these two come up with? Robertson wouldn't be so stupid as to become moderate all of a sudden - his ratings/donor base would plummet. And is Guiliani going to flip/flop? Something's missing. Something very secret.

Stay tuned. There's a very shadey story brewing.

The Absolute Certainty of a Southern Baptist

From the Huffington Post:

A few weeks ago, the pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dallas (considered The Vatican of the Southern Baptist Convention) stood in the pulpit and told the congregation that Mitt Romney was not a Christian and that "Mormonism is a cult!"

(Should Salt Lake City be attacked by the Bureau of Firearms and Tobacco?)

Upon hearing the news, presidential candidate and ordained Baptist minister Mike Huckabee got to Texas as fast as he could!

(Well, Duh!)

This past weekend he preached at a couple of Baptist churches in the Dallas area, even delivering the 11:00 a.m. Sunday sermon at the 28,000 member megachurch Prestonwood Baptist. Unlike recently, when he refused to acknowledge that Mormonism is a legitimate form of Christianity, Huck steered clear of that subject, focusing instead on Armageddon and how only those who share his particular faith really matter:

"If you lose everything but you still have Jesus, you have what you need," he said to rousing applause at Prestonwood Baptist."If you're with Jesus Christ, we know how it turns out in the final moment. I've read the last chapter in the book, and we do end up winning."

How revealing!

Got Tube?

I’m really slow when it comes to picking up some religious right news, so it came as a surprise to me to learn that a sight called GodTube started last August. It boasts 500,000 hits per month and clips of it are available at GodTube’s sight.

As I’ve always said, America has made a religion out of entertainment …and an entertainment out of religion. You can take away our food, shelter, and clothing, but don’t even think about touching our entertainment. Entertainment has now become our largest export. And it brings the tourists in.

There is certainly nothing askew about promoting tourism. I live in San Francisco where people wander off the cable car tour buses and I’ve become protective of the naïve little darlings. But now, imagine a group of Japanese tourists disembarking from a plane asking where they can see the Salem Witchcraft Trials performed live (of course) at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas!.

Something’s wrong here.

Should I be selling my glow-in-the-dark Jesus for big bucks on eBay?

CAN BENNY HINN HEAL THIS ONE?

This just in:

CBS News has learned Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa, the ranking Republican on the Senate Finance Committee, is investigating six prominent televangelist ministries for possible financial misconduct.

The six ministries identified as being under investigation by the committee are led by: Paula White, Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Eddie Long, Kenneth Copeland and Benny Hinn. Three of the six - Benny Hinn, Kenneth Copeland and Creflo Dollar - also sit on the Board of Regents for the Oral Roberts University.

Everyone: send a thank you! to Sen. Grassley with the postscript: What about Paul Crouch? (Trinity Broadcasting Network)

Good thing Pat Robertson doesn’t call himself a televangelist.

I’ll be updating this post today whenever I can.

Stay Tuned…

A Media Celebrity's Price of Fame

Found in the classifieds today:

Supposedly God-fearing Bible thumper seeks media coverage. Has experience in picketing for God and has trained subordinates (family) in art of picketing as well as litigating when necessary. No ideology too sacred or ridiculous to oppose. Loves to hate. Loves being hated. Will work diligently for newsprint, radio, TV and online articles. Even youngest in group will work in 24-hour shifts, trample flags and hurl epithets. No impeding morals whatsoever. Incredible resume highlighting freedom of speech and freedom to hate anyone/anything. Reply Westboro Baptist Church, Topeka, Kansas.

A long time ago, Fred Phelps fell in love…with his own snake oil. That snake oil does not consist entirely of hate as most people would be led to believe, but instead, it’s a persona that embodies hate. Every time Fred receives media attention, he’s dazzled by his own image. And by extension, his family’s image.

You see, Fred Phelps fell under the spell of his own celebrity over thirty years ago: his legal career rose and fell during the seventies (he was disbarred in the State of Kansas), but then Phelps had an epiphany: the combination of entertainment and religion was tailor-made for him. A star was born.

He and his family latched on to the most incendiary topic of the time: homosexuality. He figured that taking his protests to extremes never even dreamt of by the Religious Right he could gain the fame (if not the fortune) he craved. He picketed EVERYONE and EVERYTHING (except, possibly, babies in strollers). He fumed against disaster victims and enlarged his fame with signs like “Thank God for 9/11.”*

When last Thursday’s $11 million decision for the plaintiff (in a veteran funeral picketing case) was announced, people across the country jubilantly chanted: “There is a God!”

But will Phelps and his Westboro Baptist clan ever wind up paying out any of it? Probably not, since the entire clan is a veritable den of lawyers who can file enough appeals to tie the case up well past Fred’s demise (unless he lives to the age of 110). Until the day when Phelps and his family go screaming into oblivion, however, America (especially American Evangelicals and Fundamentalists) will have to bear the “Mark of Fred”: an indelible tatoo that says: “God hates _______(please fill in the blank).”



*Interesting note: it took the Southern Baptist Convention 20 years to disavow Phelps’ “Baptist” standing. Another indication that when respect for human dignity goes up against respect for a title of “Rev.,” human dignity suffers. But tardiness in apologies or corrections is traditional within the bastions of the Religious Right: it took the Vatican 400 years to apologize to Galileo and the Southern Baptist Convention over 150 years to apologize for slavey.

The Religious Right Meets Leo

Lions - Attack the Religious Right!

Raise your hackles, bare your teeth, roar and get ready to pounce: the lions are hungry...and at war. We need to feed on the self-righteous, not because they taste good, but because they attacked us first. In fact, they’ve been attacking us for many years, but good as we have been - like little lambs – we’ve let them hunt us with their guns & scriptures while we defend ourselves with… Murphy Brown and Will & Grace, a smattering of congressmen, some mayors, several outspoken ministers and a bishop. Oh, and let’s not forget “friends of friends of friends…”ad infinitum. Come on! Instead of trying to hold our ground, we need to attack.

That’s right. Attack.

When people who have been scourged by scripture started to come out of their respective closets in the 70’s (feminists as well as gays), I’m sure they thought “Well, after we’re out, they’ll eventually love and accept us for who we are because we’re basically good people.” And some people DID love and accept us. Except the Southern Baptists, Islam, the Hassidim, the Pentecostals, the Vatican, the Greek Orthodox, Mormons, Anglicans, Lutherans, Anabaptists, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Seventh-Day Adventists and the thousands of denominations that have “God” “Christ” “Jesus” or “Missionary” in their names. Oh, and don’t forget Bob Marley’s Rastafarians. We were comparatively fluffy kittens back then yet they aimed their guns at us and haven’t dropped us from their sites yet.

Here is a marvelous quote from a British journalist thinking along the same lines while refering to the latgest threat:

"Some might compare the religious right to a snake," a Wichita evangelist, Terry Fox, told the New York Times. "We may be in our hole right now, but we can come out and bite you at any time." It's time for progressives to get out of their hole and find some teeth.*

Lion’s teeth, to be sure. I’d love to found a special “Lion’s Club” to spearhead a movement to disarm the Religious Right.

One rabid fundamentalist stated: “Well, you just picture us all as either Elmer Gantry…or Elmer Fudd!” Very apt description, but we must all remember that in the cartoons, Fudd’s the one with the gun.

*Gary Younge – The Guardian

Southern Baptists On The Warpath!!!

500 Rabid Southern Baptists Will Descend Upon Us!

From: The Christian Post Reporter
October 26, 2007:

The North American Mission Board (NAMB), the Southern Baptist Convention's domestic mission agency, intends to certify as many as 500 new apologetics instructors, charging them to defend the truth and credibility of the Christian faith.

Apologetics has absolutely nothing to do with apologizing. In a way, apologetics is the very opposite of apologizing. These guys are an assault of the senses: “We are right! We are True! Cursed be those who do not heed us!” Ann Coulter is an apologist (of sorts).

Apologetics is more important than ever in today’s culture, said Dr. Mark A. Rathel, associate professor of theology and philosophy at The Baptist College of Florida and who was recently qualified as the first CAI [Certified Apologetics Instructor]. Movies such as "The Da Vinci Code" have done much to foster doubt about the reliability of the Bible, he noted.

Ah, the Da Vinci Code …again. Dan Brown is a veritable demon from hell! He is the Anti-Christ! He will feed on your souls!

Or maybe he’s just a guy who wrote an interesting piece of fiction.
Aside: How strong is a faith that needs to attack a piece of fiction once every week for four years? Give it a rest. Six months after Brown’s book came out there were two dozen refuting it. Thou dost protest waaaay too much.

“Christianity is under so much attack today,” Rathel said, according to NAMB. “I feel this will be a way to answer questions for unbelievers and at the same time, give believers more confidence and make them better witnesses.”

Just who is under attack? Christianity, or the people who think fundamentalists are crazy?

NAMB's new effort of certifying instructors takes the burden off pastors who are already stretched in their pastoral ministry and have little time to be trained in apologetics and to also train their congregations. The CAI program takes Southern Baptists who already have a passion for teaching apologetics to the next level both in knowledge and communication skills. These instructors will then train Southern Baptists in the area of apologetics and interfaith evangelism.

In other words, the CAI makes them certifiable. Great. Interfaith evangelism? Does that include beating a Muslim over the head with your Bible? Should Baptists look into Torquemada tactics for some good ole forced conversions?

From the Baptist Faith and Message (about scripture):

It has God for its author, salvation for its end, and truth, without any mixture of error, for its matter. Therefore, all Scripture is totally true and trustworthy. It reveals the principles by which God judges us, and therefore is, and will remain to the end of the world, the true center of Christian union, and the supreme standard by which all human conduct, creeds, and religious opinions should be tried.

Inerrantists. Young Earth Creationists. Literalists.

Beware. They’re also members of the NRA.