Holy State-Of-The-Ark Politics! $50 Million In Tax Dollars Go To Replicate Noah's Compulsive Hoarding!

Gopher Wood is EXPEN$IVE! 

Uh, what the hell IS gopher wood?

"Make thee an ark of gopher wood;rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch. And this is the fashion which thou shalt make of it: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breath of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits. A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt be set into the side thereof; with lower, second and third stories shalt thou make it."

That's it folks. Everything else is pure imagination and speculation. The ark was a friggin' box 450' long, 75' wide and 45' tall made out of wood that's never mentioned again in the Bible and certainly doesn't exist today. It had one lousy window about 45" square and one side door (size? who knows?). 

So the chubby boat with the house on top is really pure fiction, based upon drawings and etchings like that of Gustave Dore' (see below)

Americans United for Separation of Church and State are protesting the plan to provide $11M in Kentucky state road improvements to support the Christian theme park where the centerpiece attraction is an alleged replica of Noah's Ark.

Added to that $11M are $40M in sales rebates!

The rationale behind all of this is that the Ark Park will bring in a great deal of traffic ... and revenue to the area. Makes you wonder, though, if the same consideration would be given to a Buddhist Theme Park with a 200 foot statue of Buddha. 

The Creation Museum

All rationales aside, the Creation Museum from which the Ark Park is a spin-off has had a healthy one million visitors since its construction in May, 2007. The $27 million enterprise was immediately blasted as "a monument to scientific illiteracy" by scientists, and the sight of dinosaurs romping with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden gave vent to the term, "Yabba Dabba science." Case Western Reserve's eminent astro-physicist, Lawrence Krauss formed a protest of some 600 scientists (see below). Of course Ken Ham, founder of Answers in Genesis, the Museum's parent organization came back with the zinger "Lawrence Krauss Blasphemes Our Lord."

The there's the juicy problem the Creation Museum had with Adam:

The evangelicals behind the just-opened Creation Museum are up-in-arms upon discovering that they hired a Sirfuxalot Model (Eric Linden) to portray Adam in one of the videos they've been showing to children. Additionally, the AP reports that Linden also owns the domain Bedroom Acrobat, a sexually suggestive site where he has appeared posing with a transvestite.

And science  has not let up on the simple fact that the Creation Museum plays fast and lose with it (science). One glaring point: the museum posits that all dinosaurs were vegetarians and some turned to being meat eaters after "The Fall." What about T-Rex and his huge teeth? Simple: all the better to eat coconuts with. PZ Meyers had this to say about the handling of dissent at the museum:

At the Creation "Museum", one of the jobs of the guards is to suppress criticism. They hover about in rather conspicuous uniforms, armed with tasers, and some use police dogs to check out the visitors. They don't want dissent expressed in their building, and they admit it themselves.

Cuts to Education But $43 million to Noah's Ark

While Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear handed in a state budget that cut 6% from education, he steadfastly included a $43 million tax rebate to the Ark.  Beshear, a Democrat (!) sees the venue as a money-maker for Kentucky, while it's creator Ken Ham (of AiG) is unabashedly Evangelical:

“When people say the money donated for the full-size Noah’s Ark should be spent instead on feeding the poor or giving to another cause, they are essentially arguing that no money should be given to building the Ark Encounter. Yet consider the words of the Great Commission given by Jesus Christ.” The “Great Commission” refers to Jesus’ calling of his disciples to spread their beliefs throughout the world.

So the Ark Encounter IS FOR PROSELYTIZING. And woe betide anyone who thinks differently:

PZ Meyers:At the Creation "Museum", one of the jobs of the guards is to suppress criticism. They hover about in rather conspicuous uniforms, armed with tasers, and some use police dogs to check out the visitors. They don't want dissent expressed in their building, and they admit it themselves.
A Big Joke

It never ceases to amaze the rest of the world how American, Right-wing Christianity continues to embarrass the rest of us. True, it has made its forays of bigotry and stupidity into parts of the world yearning to join the 21st century (think Uganda)* but the clowns of God (leaders) keep pummeling us with a maniacal ferocity of all things unreasonable and inane. Speculation about the Ark Park should produce some very outlandish, very comic questions, e.g. will the Ark feature all the animals? Will it have room for waste (or was Noah the world's grand scale polluter)? What languages will be confounded at the Tower Of Babel? Yiddish? 

Perhaps the Kentucky legislature is playing an enormous joke on its taxpayers by sanctioning another enormous joke: the Ark Park will ultimately cost $172 million and Ken Ham will continue to thumb his nose at the poor.

*Pat Robertson is still fighting to get a Christian theme park in the Holy Land.

A Lewisia Sort Of Day

Lewisia is a small but intense flower, a succulent that takes forever (it seems) to bloom. But when it does...

So far, it's been a "lewisia" kind of day:

I still have "afterglow" from some intense nookie last night.

I woke up to find that two of my last articles are in the top ten at OpEdNews.

A long-time online friend (WOOOOF!) is coming for a visit in late May, just weeks before my 65th.

Christian Right hate-mongers (NOM) are being pummeled in the news (with a little help from guess who).

I called up my Jewish mother, Gladys and immediately made a date for lunch tomorrow (she's a strong 90!). 

Laundry and work out don't seem too much of a chore.

Work on Sacred Cows will be fruitful (I hope).

Yep, it's a Lewisia kind of day, blooming beautifully after a long time of the blahs.

PLEASE BOYCOTT US!!!

Sorry for the bad gif.


That beautiful blue line is Starbucks rise during the so-called boycott by NOM and its supporters (AFA and FRC). Makes so many other corporations screaming "PLEASE Boycott Us!"

The Language Of Haters: NOM's Viral Memo Exposes Reprehensible Tactics And Comtempt

Unfortunately, this is NOT as bad as it gets.


But it's close.

"Gay marriage is the tip of the spear, the weapon that will be and is being used to marginalize and repress Christianity and the Church."

Just days after announcing an effort to spearhead a global boycott of Starbucks due to its stance on marriage equality, the National Organization for Marriage has been hit with a controversy of its own making: internal "strategy" memos that clearly outline its hatred for gays and its intent to "drive a wedge between gays and blacks—two key Democratic constituencies." It also proposed to " interrupt this process of assimilation [in the Hispanic community] by making support for marriage a key badge of Latino identity" and targeted President Obama to be painted as a "radical" opposing traditional values.




It also boasted about the support of Rick Santorum:

"Senator Rick Santorum has recently agreed to use his voice in a nationwide automated call effort to solicit activists and donations."

"The current state of despair over the future of marriage is manufactured, a weapon in our opponents’ hand"

With militaristic rhetoric of warfare ("behind enemy lines) and "weapons" the abysmal memo lays out plans for the years to come with headings like “Not A Civil Right” Project and The Catholic Clergy Project. It also lauded its efforts in states such as Maine and California, especially its involvement in Prop 8. The memo was ostensibly intended for staff and major donors only. 

The MAIN Strategies

NOM has always contended that its primary goal is the "protection" of marriage. But "protection" does not  insinuate force. "Defense" does not insinuate attack, or even divide and conquer:

“The strategic goal of this project is to drive a wedge between gays and blacks—two key Democratic constituencies. Find, equip, energize and connect African American spokespeople for marriage, develop a media campaign around their objections to gay marriage as a civil right; provoke the gay marriage base into responding by denouncing these spokesmen and women as bigots…”

…but we will be helped by an emerging new set of black leaders who are upset their voices and values have been ignored by the culturally liberal white elites.

The Latino vote in America is a key swing vote, and will be even more so in the future because of demographic growth. Will the process of assimilation to the dominant Anglo culture lead Hispanics to abandon traditional family values? We can interrupt this process of assimilation by making support for marriage a key badge of Latino identity.

The use of two minorities in opposing another minority.  Cool.

The MAINE Downfall

For a period spanning almost three years, the Maine Ethics Commission (along with its Attorney General's office) had been battling NOM concerning its disclosure of finances and donors. Ironically, the fatal memo points out how NOM valiantly tried to suppress such disclosure. In the end, NOM battled disclosure - through three civil courts - and lost. The Supreme Court recently refused to hear its appeal. The memo is a result of that decision in its disclosures. What NOM considered a victory in Maine,  ultimately wound up biting it in the posterior.

The Ruth Institute ("Making Marriage Cool")

Has NOM ever been truly powerful? The money it has discharged certainly denotes some moneyed interests. Its involvement in Prop 8 and various anti- marriage equality measures was a fact, but underneath all the bluster, there were failed campaigns and empty venues. It's own tangled web of "institutes" and think tanks compounds the perception that NOM is indeed built on sand: its own "Ruth Institute" has apparently only one primary member, a certain Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse who speaks at college campuses concerning traditional marriage. Prof. Morse is a former teacher of economics. Who the "Ruth" of Ruth Institute is is anybody's guess. Prof. Morse is also affiliated with the Acton Institute for the Study of Religion and Liberty, a supposed think tank promoting the marriage of economics and religion. Both the Ruth and Acton Institutes share a common goal: dragging the concept of marriage back to the good 'ole 14th century.* 

Well, They've Got Kirk Cameron and Anita Bryant ... 

Here’s the bottom line: Hollywood with its cultural biases is far bigger than we could hope to be. We recognize this. But we also recognize the opportunity – the disproportionate potential impact of proactively seeking to gather and connect a community of artist, athletes, writers, beauty queens and other glamorous noncognitive elites across national boundaries

Going after the "Hollywood elite" has been a tradition of Christian Right activists ever since movies came into existence as a cultural religion. NOM's failure in getting any real celebrities and cultural icons to back them up have always made them defensive and feeling weak. 

NOM's End

After the divulged strategies of NOM, whither will it fly? Who will support it? Who will denounce it? More importantly: who will remain silent on the issue altogether? Will today's posts and tweets will be a dizzying array of post-mortems? Or will they be a chorus of "they never represented us!" Whatever the shouting match, it will be an entertaining end to a house of hate built on sand. 

NOTE: View NOM's 2009 video below and compare it with the disclosed strategies of the memo. The contempt for gays came through even then. 

*One of the Ruth Institue's basic tenets: Lifelong spousal cooperation as a solution to women’s aspirations for career and family. Apparently "spousal cooperation" is a metaphor for indentured servitude.

Demonizing Gets The Robertson Treatment: The Great Senile Spirit Rejuvenates Gay Exorcism!

The Great Senile Spirit Has Spoken. Pat Robertson has taken an ex-gay/born-again odyssey and crafted a story of demonic possession. Over two years ago, Pat Robertson's mental capacity was questioned when he posited that disaster-stricken Haiti had signed a pact with the devil. He has, of course, come out with similar pronouncements leading both sides of the culture to dismiss him as senile.* So it should come as no surprise that his latest revelation - that homosexuality is really the result of demonic possession - has been met with a certain amount of amusement.


But some people aren't laughing.


Of course, Robertson has his die-hard fans, that group of elderly living in nursing homes, touching their screens when Pat is on, hoping he'll cure them of their hemorrhoids. His demonizing of gays to this group is almost meaningless since most of them don't have the strength or wherewithal to wield a baseball bat or pull a trigger. But it's the rest of his outer circle, the ones who enable bullying in schools, the ones who need to believe in a "homosexual agenda", the ones who actively follow the likes of Bryan Fischer and Lou Engle - they are the ones from whom we must suffer silence in fear of lives.


Demonizing in America has become a sport at which certain people have become incredibly adept and truly bold: the ones who eschew the machinations of Fred Phelps support and embellish the homophobia of Rick Santorum and Rick Perry. Tony Perkins remonstrates against dreaded "homosexual activists" almost weekly on MSNBC's Hardball with Chris Matthews. The American Family Association calls for boycotts against any retailers supporting gay rights (the latest, being Starbucks and JC Penney) because homosexuals are "destroying" the American family.**


"Spirit of Death"


Perhaps the most harmful thing about Robertson's latest ruminations is that he uses a black "ex-gay" man to tell his story about how his "addiction" brought out misery for his family and how he was saved by "faith." The man's testimony seems harmless enough until he comes to equate his faith to the "Spirit of Life" and homosexuality to the "Spirit of Death." Yes, he actually uses those words, and in doing so becomes a fully adept demonizer on Robertson's program, enabling black ministers ala Eddie Long to preach against the "demon-possessed" gay lifestyle. The man also depicts his own life as simply one filled with deceit and online sexual hook-ups, a mass of guilt and devoid of any real affection to any of the men he experienced. In other words, homosexuality is just one mass of demonic lust.***

Enabler Of The Worst Sort


Of course, besides demonizing (literally) an entire community in one fell swoop, Robertson also became an exorcist-enabler. Horror stories abound concerning gay youth and even older men and lesbians being put through hell - often against their will - in order to "cast out" the demons driving their sexual urges and their orientation (see one below). He has became a staunch supporter of those people who for the sake of their own perversions of righteousness, torture to the point of irreparable psychological damage. He has become an enabler of Hell Houses and their "demonic" portrayal of same-sex weddings. He has even become an enabler of bullying, since most gay teens are taunted with "you're going to hell." 


It is unfortunate that throughout his barely lucid ramblings, Robertson keeps harping at what is "wrong" without stopping to think that what he is doing might be wrong. 


Such is the bliss of senility.  












* He has reversed his previous stance on marijuana, calling for its legalization, and setting off a chorus of WTF!?s across the nation's Bible Belt and beyond.
** As if it needed any impetus.
***Certainly sounds like partner material to me!

Help Jeff Foxworthy With His New Program!

Help Jeff Foxworthy with his upcoming program, The American Bible Challenge (WTF?). Instead of the same old David and Goliath questions, how about something more penetrating, more thoughtful, more ...

How about some suggested questions? They must be question about the Bible, of course, but you can still be creative - God will let you!
Just leave question in comment area.

You Might Be A Right Wing Bible Thumper, If...: Foxworthy's New Bible Quiz Show Promises Unintended Laughs

You Might Be A Right Wing Bible Thumper if...

You have to give Jeff Foxworthy credit: he doesn't mind deprecation, especially self-deprecation. The man who coined the phrase "You might be a redneck, if...." and hosted "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" is getting set for some more deprecatory comments, even from some of his own fans.

Even without knowing much about the exact format of the program, The American Bible Challenge, it doesn't take a fifth grader to sense that the show will produce some very embarrassing, unintended moments.

From Punchline Magazine:

Part of the show will be centered around the contestant’s home lives, as the network explained their personal stories will be shared with the audience. Contestants will form teams and will represent “worthy faith-based organizations,” to which all cash won will go, according to GSN. The show pilot is scheduled to shoot later this month.

Foxworthy has promised to "to present the Bible in a fun and entertaining way."

That was done by pop historian Kenneth C. Davis in his book "Don't Know Much About The Bible."* It didn't go over well with Fundamentalists.

KJV, NIV or PPP (Pure Pulpit Pimp)?

So which version of the Bible will Foxworthy use for his questions? If he doesn't use the King James Version, he's going to rile some people. Then again, saying all those "thees" "thous" "sayeths" and "begats" will make for more archaic-sounding buffoonery.

Foxworthy will also be walking a fine line in other areas: will interpretation have anything to do with the questions? Will the Bible be presented as absolute fact? Will he skirt socio-political issues such as homosexuality? Will he lean towards the David Barton history and mindset of EVERYTHING being set in the Bible? How Dominionist will he get? More pertinent: will the contestants be culled from our most visible Christian Right leaders? Can you imagine:

JF: "The Old Testament mentions the Witch of Endor. Where is Endor?"
Cindy Jacobs: "Was it shaped like a dragon?"
Pat Robertson: "I don't know, but I think it signed a pact with the devil."

JF: What was the sin of Sodom?
Bryan Fischer: Making the first homosexuals, therefore the first N*zis.
Tony Perkins: Homosexual activists forced Lot's daughters to become lesbians.

JF: How many wives did King Solomon Have?
Robert Jeffress: I don't know, but he was definitely not a member of the Mormon cult.

Michelle Duggars: A lot! He must have had a zillion kids!

JF: Did God want the Israelites to slay all the Amelekites?
Ann Coulter: He only wanted them to slay their leaders and convert them to Christianity.
Sean Hannity: He didn't want to slay them at all, only waterboard them.

Other guests might include Chuck Norris, David Barton, Stephen Baldwin, Victoria Jackson, Michele Bachmann, Tim Tebow, Linda Harvey, Kirk Cameron, Rick Perry, Bishop Eddie Long... and anyone Southern Baptist. The possibilities are endless.

Unfortunately, they might be much more interesting than the people Foxworthy considers sincere and knowledgeable, turning American Bible Challenge into one boring romp, a forum devoid of meaning...or entertainment.




*I highly recommend this book for the simple reason that it brings out all the discrepancies. Some of Davis' historical standpoints have been challenged, but the fact remains that Fundamentalists and Evangelicals hate him for calling them out. E.G.: there are TWO creations, the New Testament was not written by Matthew Mark, Luke and John and God couldn't seem to get his Son's birthday right.