Jesse Helms Will Be Raised From The Dead! At Buttars-Palooza!

Graphic design by Jere Keys

Remember in a previous post I implied that Utah Senator Chris Buttars was a reincarnated Jesse Helms? I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Chris Buttars is in the process of RAISING JESSE HELMS FROM THE DEAD!

He feels Helms can give him the support he needs. Forget the figure of Helms as a zombie, Chris Buttars will raise Helms intact and fully functioning (if, in fact, he ever really functioned - as a human being) . Buttars has had a political past fraught with , shall we say, difficulties: as Executive Director of the Utah Boys Ranch, he presided over what has been termed "The Mormon Gulag" for wayward teens.

Be that as it may, the gays of Utah have decided to have a party in Chris' honor - so to speak. It's called Buttars-Palooza. and it's on Saturday (yes, tomorrow!). To read more about it click here.

Until then, watch what the local FOX station (that's right - FOX!) reports about the situation:

Rush Limbow-wow: King Maker or King Breaker?

When All You've Got For Defense Is An Aging Pitbull

LIMBAUGH: [T]he people on our side are really making a mistake if they go after Bobby Jindal on the basis of style. Because if you think — people on our side I’m talking to you — those of you who think Jindal was horrible, you think — in fact, I don’t ever want to hear from you ever again. … I’ve spoken to him numerous times, he’s brilliant. He’s the real deal.

Huh?

Responses to Jindal's speech:

"nihilistic"
"wooden"
"amateurish"
"singsongy,"

"an earnest dork"
"a weird inflection"
"figured out a way to speak too quickly and too slowly at the same time"

and the ultimate:

"unlikely to expand the party base"

NOTE: And these comments are from CONSERVATIVES!

Honestly, with that staircase in the background he looked like he was poised at the front door trying to make his pitch to the mailman.

But anyway, he's got Rush Limbow-wow to defend him. And how could you do better than that? After all, Rush thinks of himself as an acolyte of William F. Buckley (I think he met Buckley and served him drinks - once). That in itself should prove to you how wonderfully Republican and human Jindal is. Not!

Let me digress: Limbaugh putting himself into the shoes of William F. Buckley is totally ridiculous. I interviewed Buckley twice on my old syndicated radio show, "Strictly Books" and can tell you that Limbaugh would never have gained the slightest bit of respect from Buckley. Limbaugh's monosyllabic screeds would have appalled Buckley who was a conservative patrician through and through. Buckley would have put down Limbaugh with one or two sextasyllabic words and that would have been the end of a discussion.

No matter that Limbow-wow seems to be his only champion, Jindal should start distancing himself from the fat old-but-arrogant pitbull who intends to hold a "summit conference" on why women don't like him!

I own the men, and what must I do now to own women? And who better to ask than women? Including some of those who may agree that I’m unfavorable. So stand by for that.

One thing about the Female Summit: sorry, no transsexuals. We’re not going to have anybody who’s had an addadictomy, and we’re not going to have anybody who’s had a chopadickoffamy. We’re going to have women from birth.

How wonderfully Buckleyesque! "...women from birth?" We know what he's saying, but somehow it just SOUNDS dreadful.

Like Bobby Jindal.

Just a thought.

Unamerican Rancorman

Unamerican Rancorman
Originally uploaded by Dave Ward Photography

You really can't get lower than this. Of course, for $30+ million a year, I'd go as low as can be. Maybe you would too.

Would you hope that the President of the United States fails to help the economy? That the President of the United States fails to pull troops out of Iraq? That the President of the United States fails to look like an intelligent life form? That the President of the United States fails to have transparency?

The last President failed at all these things and Limbaugh loved him.

Yeah, I guess he's hoping real hard. But not $30 million worth, do you think?

The Jindal Juggernaut: Bush With A Brain?

He Can Actually Explain Why He Wants The Unemployed Of Louisiana To Suffer!?

Bobby Jindal has marked himself as the Great Opposition to President Obama. His speech tonight was almost "Bush With A Brain" as one friend remarked.

Almost.

He alluded to Obama's race as a point in American history where Americans have come to accept a man because of his skills and not because of the color of his skin.

He HAD to say it.

He related a folksy story about Hurricane Katrina and his actions opposing a slow government response. He certainly didn't remind people that it was a Republican government, a Bush administration government. He just made a point about BIG government and bureaucracy. He didn't mention that the last eight years of government were the most expensive years in our history.

I've "wordled" both speeches (below). Simply put: Jindal's was about himself and what he would do if he were President. President Obama's speech focused on the nation as a whole and recovery, not just from the economic crisis, but from the last eight years of an inept yet arrogant administration. Obama's speech was an "America First" speech while Jindal's was definitely "Jindal First - For 2012."

Jindal has gained the spotlight these last weeks in openly criticizing Obama's Stimulus Plan. Yes, he rejected $98 million slated for Louisiana's unemployment benefits. But he still accepted $3.7 billion from the plan.

He called the plan "irresponsible" and saying that "the way to lead is not to raise taxes and put more money and power in hands of Washington politicians."

Money and power in the hands of banks and corporations is, of course, more in the way of Jindal's style. And if Jindal gets his way, deregulation of everything is just four years away. So is Bobby Jindal just another George Bush?

Not quite. Jindal has an educational and political pedigree that Bush lacked: he actually learned things in school, became a Rhodes scholar (like Bill Clinton) and DIDN'T belong to Skull and Bones. And we don't think he's given any head of state an impromptu neck rub - yet.

And there are warning signs, the latest of which is buried deep in his response to the State of the Nation Address:

AP, Charles Babington:

In what sometimes sounded like a presidential campaign speech, Jindal said Washington should follow examples set by some state governments, including Louisiana's.

"Since I became governor," he said, "we cut more than 250 earmarks from our state budget" and "cut taxes six times, including the largest income tax cut in the history of our state."

From wikipedia:

In 2007, Jindal led the Louisiana delegation in Congressional earmark funding. According to Taxpayers for Common Sense, in 2007, Jindal's earmark funding was 14th among all Congressmen. As Governor in 2008, Jindal used his line item veto to strike $16 million in earmarks from the state budget while allowing $30 million in legislator added spending.

Then there's the matter of Jindal's Uber-Religious Right stance on a great many issues as well as his being a straight-line Bush Republican:

(culled from wikipedia):

• Jindal has a 100% pro-life voting record according to the National Right to Life Committee.
• He opposes embryonic stem cell research and voted against increasing federal funding to expand embryonic stem cell lines.
• Jindal opposes the legalization of same-sex marriage, and has voted for the Federal Marriage Amendment to restrict marriage to a union between one man and one woman.
• In December 2008, Jindal announced the formation of the Louisiana Commission on Marriage and Family, including Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, Gene Mills, the executive director of the Louisiana Family Forum and Mike Johnson, senior legal counsel for the Alliance Defense Fund (Pat Robertson's personal league of lawyers)

Dan Gilgoff, U.S. News & World Report:

Religious conservatism in the GOP ain't dead. Far from it. The real story is that it has been reborn in younger, more sophisticated, and less divisive politicians like Jindal.

And for everyone else:

• Jindal voted yes on making the PATRIOT Act permanent.
• He voted in favor of the 2006 Military Commissions Act.
• Jindal has an "A" rating from Gun Owners of America.

For the next four years, we'll be hearing the recriminations of Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, James Dobson, televangelists and...Gov. Bobby Jindal. Yep, it certainly will be the era of DEPRESSION. (Buy stock in anti-depressant-producing pharmaceutical companies)

Just a thought.

The Stats Bobby Jindal Doesn't Want You To See

Sorry about the gif above, but it was the best I could do on short notice. The photo is a page from Mother Jones, January/February issue. The title:

BANG FOR THE BUCK - What a Dollar of Stimulus Puts back Into The Economy When Spent On...

FOOD STAMPS - $1.73
Extending Unemployment Benefits - $1.64
Infrasctructure - $1.59
Aid to states - $1.36

Corporate Tax Cuts - $.30
Making Bush Tax Cuts Permanent - $.29

And all stats below $1.00 have NEGATIVE returns!

Maybe Jindal really DOES want part of Louisiana's population to starve.

Just a thought.

Thank God For Religious Intolerance!

Because If Christofascists Unite,
We'll ALL Be Forced To Sing
"Onward Christian Soldier"!!!

If all the sects of what constitutes the "Christian Right" ever truly unite, what will happen? God only knows! For the rest of the country, it might be better if they don't. They were (almost) united in their push on Prop 8. But they still bicker on the "fine points" of theology.

Let's hope they continue - amongst themselves.

Let's hope that Protestants still think Catholics have mysterious rituals and are controlled by the pope. Let's hope that Mormons still struggle for acceptance, even though some of their beliefs are not quite in tune with the rest of the Christian community. Let's hope that evangelicals still think that Joseph Smith was a lunatic and that mainstream Protestants can't quote chapter and verse ad infinitum.

Let's hope.

For well over 1500 years the Christian "Bible Bickersons" have proven that when it comes to dogma, no one wins and everyone suffers. I'm going to go out on a limb here with my own estimate: over those 1500 years (actually over 1850 years, but who's counting?), 140 million people have died because someone thought they weren't Christian or Christian ENOUGH. In the last 800 years, Europe has experienced 780 wars, most of them backed by "God" on both sides. It was Christianity that created Europe's first "justified" wars (The Crusades) as well as the first genocide (the Cathars of the Albigensian Heresy - about 100,000 lives lost there). It decimated whole cultures (e.g. Meso-Americans of the Aztec and Incan cultures) and as late as 1850, engendered the "Bible Wars" between Catholics and Protestants in the U.S. (And yes, some people died in those too).

Not to be "Christian-bashing", BUT... which sect has ever owned up to any of this bloodshed? Sure, the Southern Baptists finally "apologized" for slavery 150 years AFTER the Emancipation Proclamation, and a pope shed tears at The Wailing Wall in Jerusalem 1000 years too late, but can any of us afford to wait centuries before the Bible Bickersons say "we're sorry we caused this little altercation"?

Whether it's Iran or Israel, gays or The Family, Mormons or Catholics, Christian sects of all kinds seem to love a fight - and a war. Any war.

The following is an example of the way Mormons and evangelicals have been going at it lately. ChristiaNet.com is a kind of forum where "believers" can get quite heated in their responses. This one was from a thread about what Mormons believe, the question: "A friend of mine is converting to Mormonism? Do any of you Christians have any advice as to what I should say to him?" It brought out the very best in them.

From ChristiaNet:

Let's make this PERFECTLY clear - I have NEVER attacked the Bible, nor have I EVER called God a liar. My whole point was that God has ultimate control over what prophecies come true and that He and He alone will or will not make them happen. This is a perfect example of how you distort my words! Mormons revere the Bible, we believe it to be the word of God BUT we are not naive enough to believe that it has never been translated incorrectly through the hundreds of translations is has undergone. We haven't discussed any of the modern scriptures so your statement regarding what I haven't said truly disingenuous.

Yes, grammatical errors and all, this Mormon is PISSED. And someone's response:

The word attack can be defined as directing unfavorable criticism against. To say the Bible has translational problems, failed prophecies, etc., is unfavorable criticism, to say the least. I believe I have been fair in using the word attack to describe your comments.

Let's face it: these two couldn't be in the same room without killing each other.

But uniting them is a much scarier thought.

The Elephant In The Room: Christofascism Defined

The only role any government should play in religion is to protect every citizen’s right to practice any religion they damn well please. – Mark Twain

O.K., it's the "C" word for the one millionth time on this blog. And by now everyone knows how I feel about Christofascists; "there are two kinds: the Elmer Gantrys and the Elmer Fudds, both of whom are dangerous, but Fudd is more so because he's the one with the gun....blah, blah, blah!" But I've been thinking that you and I should take a look at the big "C" in more specific terms.

When you look at the prerequisites of fascism think of the highlighted words and how they've been presented to you by America's priests, preachers, radio hosts and self ascribed "people of faith". Think of them, then think past them and go to the Warrens and the Parsleys, the Haggees, the Osteens, the Jakes, the Dollars and the Copelands. Let's look at Fascism and the tenets that are ADDED by Christofascism.

Early Warning Signs of Fascism.

Powerful and Continuing NATIONALISM to be un-American is linked to being un-Christian

Disdain for HUMAN RIGHTS - Christofascists think that everything secular - like the ACLU - is automatically anti-Christian.

Identification of ENEMIES/SCAPEGOATS as a Unifying Cause - This is so obvious it almost needs no expounding upon. Today's Christofascists have as their enemies homosexuals, the ACLU, anyone pro-choice, scientists, evolution, and, of course, The United Nations.

Supremacy of the MILITARY - Think of both Rod Parsley and John Hagee. Both of them preach in militaristic terms: Parlsey wants us to "destroy Islam" and Hagee wants the Palestinians annihilated to spur on Armageddon

Rampant SEXISM We see it still in the manifestos of the Southern Baptist Convention and Scientology. We even saw it with Sarah Palin. She played up the "Femaleness" of her candidacy by repeating ad nauseum her role as a "hockey mom."

Controlled MASS MEDIA - FOX News is a prime example. Their motto "fair and balanced" is a joke to everyone. Rupert Murdoch's minions harken back to the Citizen Kane/William Randolph Hearst era of journalism that created its own news rather than just reporting it objectively.

Obsession with NATIONAL SECURITY - Former Vice President Dick Cheney continues to feed the fires of fear and insecurity with the blessing of Christofascists like Parsley and Hagee who wish to create wars for their own agendas.

The joining together of RELIGION & GOVERNMENT - As the Huckabees and the Warrens curry favor with heads of state while Mormon, Catholic, and Protestant money is being poured into campaigns, those who think that we have separation of church and state are living in a fantasy world.

CORPORATE POWER is protected - George Bush showed the world how to protect big business by deregulating as many industries as he could.

LABOR POWER is suppressed - Labor leaders have not had the political clout they once had because corporate power was protected and expanded within the last decade.

Disdain for INTELLECTUALS & THE ARTS - Pat Robertson has always claimed that Communism was based on the philosophies and rhetoric of Jewish Intellectuals. And since the arts are so infested by homosexuals...

Obsession with CRIME & PUNISHMENT - While they decry abortion as destroying life, most Christofascists will always vote for the death penalty.

Rampant CRONYISM & CORRUPTION - When George Bush said that he thought God wanted him to be President, he wasn't including his Skull and Bones mates, but gave them lucrative government posts anyway. The result was an administration not known for its expertise in any given field.

Fraudulent ELECTIONS The Presidential election of 2000 was contentious, but nonetheless was won with assistance from the judiciary and not the electorate. Christofascists maintained that this was obviously God's will.

Now Add to the Above:

TRADITIONALISM - One of the central themes of Christofascism is "gimme that 'ole time religion," relying on the poor memories of the flocks and they're unwillingness to learn about the history of their own religion.

Rejection of MODERNISM - Modernism means change. One of Christofascism's biggest enemies is change. Change brings about contrast with the past. And with contrast, comes questions.

Suppression of ANALYTICAL CRITICISM - Criticism must be suppressed at all times, because it can spark dissent of enormous proportions.

Disagreement is HERESY, APOSTASY or TREASON - In order to maintain authority, dissent must be portrayed as evil and contrary to the common good or spirituality.

Fear of CHANGE or DIFFERENCE – Christofascism peddles fear of the unknown: if you don’t know your neighbor, beware. If he’s different in any way, beware.

Appeal to a FRUSTRATED MIDDLE CLASS during ECONOMIC CRISIS Barack Obama struck a chord when he talked about bitter people clinging to their guns and religion. The truth hurt.

POLITICAL HUMILITAION as a tactic - Hitler used this tactic and quite well. Germany (or what was cobbled together after the Treaty of Versailles) was left with crushing debt and the demeaning of a small group of nations. Perhaps all of Eastern Europe's currency became worthless within a matter of months. Hitler turned around the self-loathing of an entire people and turned it into the polar opposite: national ego unleashed - and unlimited.

Use of SCRIPTURE as a WEAPON against dissenters and perceived enemies
(OK, this last one was my own). Mike Huckabee may be an example. I say "maybe" because the definitive evidence has been hidden, suppressed or just plain destroyed: there is a ten-year stretch of Huckabee's sermons (pre-governor of Arkansas) which cannot be found. Is it possible that these sermons were destroyed just before his campaign for the Presidency? These sermons may have proved too Reconstructionist for the general public.
Mike Huckabee:

I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it’s a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that’s what we need to do - to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards so it lines up with some contemporary view.

HT: Scramblings.

Spoken like a TRUE Christofascist, Mike Huckabee. A true Christofascist.

Just a thought.