Mars Hill Megachurch: A Blankety-blank Macho Jesus Theology

Now It's The M****r F****n' Church of Tinsel Face!

Where Jesus is not a "Sky Fairy"
(from New York Times, Jan. 6, 2009 -
Who Would Jesus Smack Down? by Molly Worthen)

“Pastor Mark, is masturbation a valid form of birth control?”

Driscoll doesn’t miss a beat: “I had one guy quote Ecclesiastes 9:10, which says, ‘Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might.’ ” The audience bursts out laughing. Next Pastor Mark is warning them about lust and exalting the confines of marriage, one hand jammed in his jeans pocket while the other waves his Bible. Even the skeptical viewer must admit that whatever Driscoll’s opinion of certain recreational activities, he has the coolest style and foulest mouth of any preacher you’ve ever seen.

Pastor Mark Driscoll preaches hellfire and brimstone with old Calvinist theology: you know, the no matter what you do on earth, good or bad, you're pre-destined to go to heaven or hell kind of theology. He's in Seattle.

Seattle, please keep him there.

His homophobic, misogynistic rhetoric packs in the creme de la creme of skinheads, goths and bad-assed youth that Seattle can come up with. He's reviled by both ends of the Christian church yard stick: the Right hates his cursing while the Progressives hate his Calvinist, hellfire theology.

The mainstream church, Driscoll has written, has transformed Jesus into “a Richard Simmons, hippie, queer Christ,” a “neutered and limp-wristed popular Sky Fairy of pop culture that . . . would never talk about sin or send anyone to hell.”

After Cowboy churches, Prosperity church-stadiums, basement churches, "unchurched" churches with skateboard parks (Rick Warren), now comes the church of the Blessed Blankity-Blanks.

Question: after almost 2000 years, can't these guys get it right?

Just a thought.

Even Christofascists Hate Coulter!

Dumb and Dumber - Which Is Which?

This is one for the books: Ann Coulter hates Mike Huckabee and Mike Huckabee hates her back! While on his Fox show Huckabee took Coulter to task about the things she's said about him:

"He's a stupid Christian, he's easily led," she said of Huckabee in December 2007. In another clip, she complained, "I don't think he's very bright. That's why they like him. He's their version of an evangelical. They'd like him better if he still weighed 600 pounds. That would be perfect."

Yes, Ann, Huckabee IS stupid. Christofascism is stupid. As a Christofascist yourself would know that. You're an Elmer Gantry and Huckabee is an Elmer Fudd trying to be a Gantry. However, you called some of your own readers/supporters stupid. That is VERY stupid. And about the 600 lb joke, Ann: Huckabee's gaining it back.

You should have waited a while.

Just a thought.

NOTICE: Ann Coulter - every time - wearing a short, tight skirt and a long, tighter face.

That's Entertainment III: Do We Really NEED All This Stuff?

Or Do You Want To See The Choir Go Naked?

The French Cathars of the 13th Century considered themselves Christians. They believed in doing good deeds. They met in houses or open fields. However, they did not eat meat, they did not have priests, they did not have graven images of God or Christ. They did not believe in churches. Nor the pope. It's quite understandable why they became the first case of genocide in Western Civilization (the Crusades don't count simply because some people actually survived the Crusades). Mennonites and Amish seem to get by with all the "worldly" goods in and around our churches today. But look at who's PRODUCING some of those worldly goods!

There are: 300,000 churches in U.S. with 118 million church goers in 227 denominations




Spiritual Inspiration Costs:
Average Worship Center (New Church Building): $2.5 million Pastor salary: $85,000 "Parsonage": $225,000 Choir Robes: $65 each Vestments: $2000 Average yearly donation (per capita): $1800

Again, ask yourself: what do you NEED to help you attain spirituality? Even REDEMPTION doesn't cost this much! So why do we lavish money on churches? Rick Warren emphasizes a "social theology" as opposed to a "prosperity theology." But if you look at both their ledgers, they spend about the same. And as for selfishness: do the churches with priceless artifacts make more money by tourism than the artifact is worth? Whatever happened to "sell what you have, give to the poor and follow me"? Just a thought.

That's Entertainment II: Ted Haggard Is Out Of The Wilderness!

He's Hedging For A Place
In Rick Warren's World!

(Well, he does have experience going door-to-door!)

Ted Haggard is back in the news - sort of. He's promoting a documentary about him called "The Trials of Ted Haggard". He seems to be backpedaling as fast as Rick Warren:

Asked to expand on his attitude toward homosexuality, Haggard said, "I believe all human beings fall short of the standards they believe in."

Backpedaling in a vague sort of way

He added, "I would say the biggest change is I now know about hatred than I ever dreamed, and I know it doesn't help. And I know more about judgment and I know it doesn't help. Since my experience, I know more about the power of love and forgiveness. I know a lot more about the necessity of people not judging one another."

Haggard said he isn't qualified to judge what factors into one's sexuality, but still believes it's "God's perfect plan" for marriage to be between a man and woman.

During a guest sermon last November at a friend's church in Illinois, Haggard said a co-worker of his father molested him when he was 7, an experience that "started to produce fruit" later. Evidently Haggard is also trying for stand-up comedy. Clarifying that Friday, Haggard said: "I'm certainly not saying that because of that, I did this. I did what I did by my choice, and I'm responsible for it."

So now we know: he has seen "discrimination" and "hate", he is true-blue traditional marriage and he considers being homosexual a choice. His next sermon will be at Saddleback Church with a cast of thou...well, some other people.

That's Entertainment I: Howdy Jesus!

Texas. O.K., It Figures

Cowboy Churches

It's all about entertainment, isn't it? The Medieval churches banned public entertainment, but approved of "morality plays." Churches were designed to inspire awe and teach morality to the illiterate masses. The ceremonies were as dazzling as the churches could make them. The Renaisance was funded chiefly by the church.

All of that was to change with the Reformation. Pomp and ritual were frowned upon. The preacher became the embodiment of entertainment. Itinerant preachers were popular because they were known for their powerful rhetoric (and advance PR).

Hellfire and damnation was, if not a deterrent to sin, a sanctioned entertainment. Tent revivals were popular with singing and clapping.

Then came Aimee Semple McPherson and her showmanship.

WAXAHACHIE, Texas - Moments after flying headfirst onto the arena floor dirt, the man gets up and brushes off his protective vest as rodeo clowns rush in to distract the still-bucking bull.

The crowd cheers as the announcer reveals he's fine, just before the chute opens with another cowboy atop a menacing bull.

But this isn't a typical rodeo. It's an outreach ministry of the Cowboy Church of Ellis County, which has grown from about 300 to 2,200 members since it began nearly nine years ago. The church about 30 miles south of Dallas now bills itself as the world's largest cowboy church.

What's the difference between entertainment and religion?

Not a lot. Remember: in America, we've made a religion out of entertainment and entertainment out of religion. I won't even go into the "church=goodness" equation. Ever since man decided it would be better to worship a god in groups (safety in numbers), there have been hundreds of thousands of organizations for worship. As man progressed, rituals and places of worship became more and more elaborate, sometimes obliterating the god being worshiped. Pressure to join these organizations is immense. Remember the PEW research poll on Congress and religion we posted a while back? If you recall, no Representative or Senator was willing to be counted as "unaffiliated", even though a large segment of the population did so.

"Going to church" these days is really just an affirmation: you go to church, therefore you are a religious person. You go to a particular kind of church, you believe what that church preaches. But churches don't see things that way. Like the old stripper song, "Ya gotta have a gimmick," many churches know that they have to do something different to corral the herd. Medieval churches lured the faithful in with special relics. Reformation churches had golden-tongued preachers. Today we've got fog machines, light shows, rock bands, coffee shops, skate board parks. Throw in a couple of alien life forms and, brother, you've got yourself a church!

Just a thought.

Loreto Diamond Monstrance, Prague

Loreto Diamond Monstrance, Prague
Originally uploaded by Joelle Maslaton

Made out of 6,222 diamonds! One for every ten peasants who paid for it.!

Whew! What A National Relief: Our New President Reads (for a change!)

As Opposed To The Former President
- Who Just Looked At The Pretty Pictures!

(From Think Progress)

Yesterday in his CNBC interview, President-elect Obama said that he doesn’t plan on living in a “bubble” during his time in office and will be “open to outside information, particularly criticism.” “I very rarely read good press,” he added. “I often read bad press, not because I agree with it, but because I want to get a sense of are there areas where I’m falling short and I can do better.”

This opinion is a drastic departure from President Bush, who never reads newspapers. In 2003, Bush told Fox News, “I glance at the headlines just to kind of (get) a flavor of what’s moving. I rarely read the stories.”

The best part of Obama's statement: that he reads criticism. Can you ever think of a time Bush might have read criticism about his administration? Occasionaly a question from the Waashington Press Corp. might hint of it, but then was usually put down with "I'm the decider" crap.

As we wrote in another post, most of the country didn't believe Bush could read at all! Sure hope he doesn't have to drive much around Dallas: