That's Entertainment, Folks!

Barak Obama’s campaign is in hot water again: the latest dish is that Pastor Donnie McClurkin as part of his staff (he’s a gospel singer and minister) is an ex-gay who characterizes homosexuality as a “curse.” Read about Pastor Donnie here.

Hallelujah! I’m cured!

Gimme a break.

This guy knows what sells as entertainment: anything, including religion.

This is America. Take away our food, shelter and clothing, but don’t ever think of taking away our entertainment! Ann Coulter knows this. People read her books for their entertainment value. Comedy, music, drama – yes, that’s why we stand and stare at crime and accident scenes.

America has made a veritable religion out of entertainment and an entertainment out of religion.

“McClurkin is head pastor at Perfecting Faith Church, a nondenominational Pentecostal church in Freeport, New York. The 1,000-plus congregation meets in a former supermarket. He's home for the services every Sunday unless he's traveling overseas. Services there are exuberant and interactive. Church members are likely to be dancing in the aisles, speaking in tongues or lying on the floor, overcome by the Holy Spirit.”

And someone got saved in aisle five right by the canned beets. And what is a “nondenominational Pentecostal church?” Can you speak in tongues anywhere? An Episcopal church? A Methodist church? A Bar Mitzvah? When I was an altar boy and we had to race through Latin at the morning Mass (Fr. Duffy was always due to tee off in forty minutes), maybe I was actually seized by the Holy Spirit instead –

“Adeumquilaetificatuventutemeumquarererepulistiquaresintristitincedodumaflegitmeainemicus”

(Yeah, I still remember it after 53 years.)

My point?

Whether it’s ritual, gospel choirs, or Pat Robertson doing leg presses, today’s religion is imbued with entertainment. It just takes a savvy entertainer to exploit it. An entertainer like Donny McClurkin. Yes, he may have had a horrible childhood and his family may have been beyond dysfunctional, and he may have even "prayed away" leukemia. But I don’t believe he’s a bona fide ex-gay (his bios are oddly amiss when it comes to describing his former “gay” life). “Overcoming” vicissitudes is all part of the show. One more “curse” to give glory to the victor.

Da…da…dat’s all folks!

This Year's PERFECT Hell House

Bring In The Harpies!

From the website of Pastor Keenan Roberts:
http://www.godestiny.org/hell_house/HH_kit.cfm

New Destiny Christian Center – Soaring at a Godly Altitude
(You read it right - I’m not making this stuff up. Check it out.)

Shake your city with the most "in-your-face, high-flyin', no denyin', death-defyin', Satan-be-cryin', keep-ya-from-fryin', theatrical stylin', no holds barred, cutting-edge" evangelism tool of the new millennium!

No, it’s not a circus. Very nearly, but not quite.

Oct. 12th marked the 9th the anniversary of the murder of Matthew Shepherd. Mid-October also marked the beginning of a festive American celebration: Hell Houses. There’s a connection between the two events. Some people vehemently deny it, but it’s there. Hell houses are slick demonizations of teen and adult behavior. Pastor Keenan Roberts, who started merchandising the concept, typifies the fundamentalist ideologies presented by Hell Houses, sort of like “If we say they’re going to hell, they’re going to hell. That’s it. Don’t be one of them.” Or similar words to that effect. Oh, and by the way, Keenan’s first Hell House was in Roswell, NM. Go figure.

From Pastor Keenan’s Hell House Kit:

Piece by piece, prop by prop, costume by costume - the master plan is organized in a comprehensive manual. A video of what Hell House in action looks like and a special-effects compact disc audio master are also included. This sizzling evangelism event is designed to capture the attention of our sight and sound culture!

One scene’s depiction of a tortured teenage lesbian from the manual:

This scene creatively combines two cutting-edge issues into one script. The drama for the scene calls for a spiritual battle between the angel of the Lord and the demon tour guide. They wrestle for Jamie's intellect as she struggles with whether or not God has made her this way. This script captures an incredibly compelling exposé that unmasks the “born-gay” lie. The script suits either a male or female lead character. This package includes two wonderful effects tracks. $45 (USD)

This from a minister who tortures his own children: his boys are named Blaze and Jade (?!) Let’s face it, with a name like Jade, the poor kid will definitely become the football team’s “bitch.”

Hell House mentality also denies that a Hell House can contribute to teen suicide, but take look at this grisly scenario:

Another Hell House scene depicts a teenage girl attending her first rave. She unknowingly takes a “date rape drug” and a young man rapes her. Some Hell Houses alternate the rave date rape with a scene where a young girl is raped by her father. In both cases, after being victimized, the girl commits suicide and goes to hell. Available information about both versions mentions nothing about the rapists being punished or going to hell, while the already-victimized girls are sent to hell to be punished for eternity.*

Rape. Eternal damnation. Incest. Teen suicides. Ah, the holidays are truly upon us. God only knows what those fun-loving evangelicals will do to the Thanksgiving turkey.

But…I would like to add to the above drama of damnation. It’s the PERFECT Hell House guaranteed to give nightmares to young and old alike: a teenager without an Ipod being forced to listen to Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin – in person.

Cheaper too.

*My special thanks to Gay & Lesbian Task Force’s Sarah Kennedy & Jason Cianciotto for this last description.

The Slippery Slope Can Slant the Other Way

Tony Perkins’ (Family Research Council) latest alarm about
hate crimes legislation:

Britain's ruling Labor Party government has announced plans to introduce a new "hate crimes" law that would result in jail terms of up to seven years (more than the average penalty for rape) for "incitement to hatred" against homosexuals. The law is not limited to people who commit violent acts or incite violence, but the Justice Ministry claims the law "would not prohibit criticism of gay, lesbian and bisexual people" -- as long as it done in a "temperate way," said one homosexual activist. … Colin Hart of the U.K.'s Christian Institute put it bluntly: "A homophobic hatred law would be used by those with an axe to grind against Christians to silence them." …Although the "hate crimes" bill which the U.S. Senate recently attached to a defense bill is ostensibly limited only to acts causing "bodily injury," the situation in Britain perfectly illustrates the slippery slope such laws would set us upon. Congress should oppose, or President Bush should veto, any bill that adds "sexual orientation" to federal hate crimes law.

“…an axe to grind against Christians to silence them.” But, that theory could never apply here, Tony, since we’re such a Christian country founded on Judeo-Christian principles! Gasp!

I checked on the U.K.’s Christian Institute and I noted that while Colin Hart looked as if he had just scrubbed his face with Mop ‘N Glow, Tony Perkins still has him beat in the “I-look-like-a-choirboy”* department.

Now, Tony, let’s go back about, oh, 1600 years: a Christian mob dragged the great mathematician Hypatia from her chariot, dragged her to what had been the Great Library of Alexandria (the one they’d burned down twenty years earlier for not having enough Christian books), took sharp oyster shells and flayed her alive in front of her students. That same mob, by the way, was slightly encouraged by the local bishop, Theopholis (who supposedly headed up a kind of ecclesiastical mafia) and was acting on the “slippery slope” started by the Roman Emperor Theodotius when he declared paganism a crime.

So, Tony, it seems the slippery slope can go both ways. BTW: were any of Hypatia’s murderers put in jail?

*”…and I’m a protégé of God himself, um, I mean Pat Robertson.”

What Price Blogging?

Dear friends, editors, journalists, truck drivers, sanitation district maintenance men, anybody:

Am I the only person who reads my blog? Are so many people busy blogging that there are no actual readers out there? Are the “comments” posted really fiction, making it seem like people are reading the blogs? Is there a blogger Mafia I’m not aware of, so that if you want your blog read, you have to pay for the privilege? Is my site so irrelevant and boring that people yawn in the middle of the second sentence and anxiously click back to the previous site (like How to Get Rid of Those Ugly Warts! on AOL)? Is my grammar crappy? Should I go back to wearing a hairpiece? Should I have a picture of my cat watching me blog?

Come on, someone, gimme me a sign of encouragement. For me, blogging’s not easy: I’m not fast enough and I’m not hooked up intravenously to the news media. How can some people do it every day? Maybe there are paid “ghost bloggers” or modern day Agnes Gooches glued to screens and keyboards. After all, people like Anderson Cooper and Oprah couldn’t possibly keep up their blogs by themselves could they? I consistently search for the timeliest news on the topics of religion and politics, hoping to be the first one to post about it so that Google Blogs will show me first. So far, it hasn’t happened. Either the last three months have had no news and the Religious Right has ceased to exist, or I’m totally missing something.

Blogging has become a race to post, a competition to see who can blog the fastest. Who can blog the wittiest and most scathing. Who can blog the most self-righteous attitude. Who can snag the most readers for advertisers. Soon there will be a veritable sea of bloggers: on trains, in speeding cars (we haven’t as yet passed a law against blogging while driving, but give it time), on the gondolas in Venice, on the backs of elephants in Thailand, on the trading floor of the New York stock exchange and in preschools everywhere.

Today, there are an estimated 75 million bloggers around the globe. A scary figure? No. This is scary: it still leaves 6 billion future bloggers to announce their angst and frustration to the world; 6 billion people to tell us their opinions, their highs, their lows, their how-tos, their warnings, their politics. Everyone will be blogging. Why hasn’t God started blogging yet? Certainly all his followers seem to be falling into line. Maybe He’s too busy reading everyone’s blogs. No, He hasn’t read mine yet, because I think I would know. Lightening hasn’t struck me – yet.

So here I sit pounding a keyboard instead of feeding the cat.

Why do I bother? One answer: to prove that I exist. I blog, therefore I am. When someone – anyone – comments on an article, I feel more alive. I feel connected to the rest of the world. Most people who blog feel that their personal selves are out there and, as a consequence, they are real. Autobiographies are too burdensome and it’s not kosher to publish more than three in your own lifetime. With blogging, you can spit out tiny pieces of yourself, one day at a time. And blogging is addictive: you feel that when you cease to blog, you cease to exist.

Blogging just might be the true meaning of life.

In the near future I will be conducting a “Dan Vojir’s Blog Blitz” with a special, particularly offensive anti-religious post to see if ANYONE out there is reading what I have to say. I give it a two-comment response. I will then thank those two who stumbled upon it before I give up blogging completely.

On the other hand…


Dan Vojir

Lincoln, Augustine and Bible Abuse

Last night I had the unique experience to question author and scholar Garry Wills about two of his most notable (but diverse) subjects: Abraham Lincoln and St. Augustine.

I stood in front of his autograph-signing table, nervous because I didn’t have his Pulitzer prize-winning title Lincoln at Gettysburg on hand to sign.

“Just one question, please, ah, Lincoln and Augustine…and original sin,” I blurted, hoping he would somehow know what I meant.

“Do you mean if Lincoln believed in it?”

“Well, yeah.” I felt like an awkward teenager.

He shook his head with determination.

“NO. I don’t.”

So there you have it: the Great Emancipator and champion of equality didn’t believe “equal, but born in sin” like biblical literalists or “Father of the Church” St. Augustine (who actually thought literalists were stupid).

The point is: some people use the Bible as a weapon. They did it to protect slavery. They shot verses against abolitionists with deadly aim. They abused Jews and women throughout history. From “a servant shall obey his master” to “man shall not lie with man as with a woman,” literalists have fashioned vitriol out of verses for purposes of power and hatred. Bible Abuse is twofold: it abuses both humanity and the Bible itself.

Today is “Bloggers Against Abuse” day.

Bible abuse is real.

Stop the abuse.

Jerry Sanders Uncovers the Evil Heart of SIN Diego

9/20/09

Hurry! It’s time for the televangelists, bloggers and Coultergeists of the country to rev up their engines: the Mayor of San Diego outed his own daughter and proposed same-sex marriages! He was visibly shaken when he performed this act of equality and justice, catching people completely off guard. Well, some people:

“Oh, look, he’s crying gratuitously!” laughs Coulter.

“That’s only because he’s drinking a lot of water, Ann,” says Dinesh Souza.

“And Pat Robertson just texted me that God would smite the homo-hugger with a meteor,” says James Dobson.

“I’ll dub the city Sin Diego from now on. That’s witty enough, isn’t it?” Coulter chimed in.

“Yes, but can a whole book be gotten out of this drivel?” asked Dobson.

“If we can prove that Sanders was having an affair with a stewardess in an airport restroom, then it can be a bestseller, but a short public announcement alone doesn’t give us much to go on,” says Coulter.

“Let’s hire an investigator into Sanders’ past, I don’t want to miss this chance,” said Souza, “Yep, no doubt about it. With Larry Craig on the hot toilet seat, we need a diversion. Besides he's just a mayor. He's expendable. Put a couple of Regent University law students on his case after we nail him. That'll make him feel better while getting that closet Democrat out of the way. Can I have your rolodex, Jim?”

“Sure, just don’t look at the other names.”

Hey, you KNOW they’re going to give this one their best shot. Stay tuned…

LARRY CRAIG - How will he rate on the (new, improved and extended) Scandal Scoreboard?

Way To Go Mr. Potato Head!

But You Don’t Get Into The Hypocrisy Hall of Fame (yet)

Senator Larry Craig’s shenanigans in a Minneapolis airport are helping to continue his party’s time-honored tradition of hypocrisy. His voters must be sooo proud of him. We must all remember just how difficult it is to maintain family values while cruising public restrooms. The Republican constituency of Idaho will obviously erect a statue in his honor in Boise: “He kept our families safe from people like…him.” On the scandal scoreboard, Craig gets a whopping 10 points!

Some esteemed members of the HHF:

Paul Crouch, Trinity Broadcasting Network – gay sex scandal brought out of the closet by a lover employed at TBN.
Jimmy Swaggart of “I have sinned” fame was enshrined in the HHF by virtue of his winning the Best Actor Award.
Jim Bakker – you name it, he did it – an all around HHF athelete!
Ted Haggard – has his own separate exhibit, complete with erotic photos of the hulking Mike Jones and the bag of meth.

But does Senator Craig have the stamina to be included in the HHF? The competition these days is (pardon the expression) stiff: take a look at some of the ones competing for the Hypocrisy Hall of Fame:

January 3, 2006

Reverend Dr Lonnie Latham was arrested and booked into the Oklahoma County Jail by members of the Oklahoma County Sheriff's Office. The misdemeanor charge was that of "Offering to Engage In An Act of Lewdness," a charge carrying penalties of up to a year in jail and a US$2,500 fine. Reports sourced to a police department spokesman said that he had propositioned a plainclothes police officer for oral sex in an area of the community which had been the subject of public complaints of cruising related to male prostitution.

"I was involved in a prayer ministry in that area, and I had a dialogue with police," he said, according to the website of the Daily Oklahoman newspaper. "The officer made many suggestions."

What's the name of that ministry, Lonnie? Restroom Revelations? 12 points!

October 6, 2006

Congressman Foley’s e-mails made public.

Mark Foley, a six-term Republican congressman from Florida, championed the protection of children from sexual predators. Chairman of the House Caucus on Missing and Exploited Children, he often spoke out about the need to catch pedophiles. In July, he attended a signing ceremony at the White House for the Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006. "We track library books better than we do sexual predators," he had argued in support of the bill.

Apparently we DO track sexual predators fairly well, Mark. It may take us some time when they have an ”Rep.” Or a “Sen.” In front of their names, but we can smell ‘em. 10 points, Mark.

Aug. 23, 2007

The preacher husband of televangelist, Juanita Bynum, who has won a national following with sermons about women's empowerment will be charged with aggravated assault and terroristic threats following a confrontation in which he left her badly bruised, Atlanta police said.

A televangelist with sermons on women’s empowerment being strangled by her preacher husband? This “inspiration” for women is definitely “inspired” when it comes to hypocrisy. Way to go, Juanita!! 15 Points!!

July 10, 2007
Senator David Vitter (Republican, LA)

“His brand is Southern social conservative, a defender of family values, morality and faith who once said no issue was more important than protecting the sanctity of marriage.”

So who knew? Apparently a lot of people in both Washington and Louisiana. But since you’re only on several lists of madams, your accomplishments are quite common. Only 5 points. Great hypocrite, but not very imaginative.

July 11, 2007

Orlando Sentinel: Republican Rep. Bob Allen of Merritt Island, whose district includes a large swath of east Orange County, was arrested for soliciting a male undercover police officer for sex in a Titusville park restroom.

In the taped statement that was tossed out Monday, Allen said he was just playing along because he was intimidated by the undercover officer, who he described as a "stocky black guy," and that he thought he was going to be robbed.House Speaker Marco Rubio stripped Allen of his legislative committee appointments, saying he could "no longer effectively serve the people" of his district. Police also said Allen indicated he had $800 in his car.

So, while denying he’s a “john”, the revered lawmaker made himself guilty of racial profiling. And, believe it or not, it only gets better:

Hours after state Rep. Bob Allen was unceremoniously stripped of his legislative-committee appointments Wednesday, he said he is perhaps "the most misunderstood guy on Earth."In the weeks since his arrest July 11 on a charge that he offered to perform oral sex on an undercover police officer and pay him $20, he has made comments that offended two of Florida's largest minority groups -- Hispanics and blacks.On Wednesday, he told newspapers he felt he was being considered guilty even before his first court date -- as would happen in a totalitarian government such as Cuba. Allen, R-Merritt Island, spent part of the day explaining he wasn't comparing House Speaker Marco Rubio, who made the committee assignments and is Cuban-American, to Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.

O.K., Bob, YOU WIN!! How many guys can manage all of that hypocrisy from sitting on the john waiting for a “john”? 20 points!! The Republicans in Orlando are truly blessed! The Hypocrisy Hall of Fame now has a brand new resident!

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